Reviews

5 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
The Wackness (2008)
1/10
If you're really into 90's nostalgia...
5 July 2008
I came into this movie with the hopes that I would see something uplifting and inspiring that would celebrate diversity, hip hop, and all things 90's. Instead, I left halfway through the film, frustrated by its white-male-centered focus and trite attempt at being culturally relevant by dropping OJ newspaper covers, mentioning Kurt Cobain's suicide, and played-out "slang" that wasn't even used correctly.

This movie is a typical "indie" film that panders to upper-class older white audiences and that tries to pretend to be hip and nostalgic. This movie could've taken acting lessons from "Half Baked"--in fact, it was like a bad knockoff of "Half Baked" that included the weed but didn't include the positivity, humor, diversity, and energy that the 90's really had.

If you're saying to yourself, this movie wasn't about Hip-Hop, ask yourself why the marketing relies so heavily on it. Why is it called THE WACKNESS? Why does it push the soundtrack as a selling factor? Why are the transitions so centered on graffiti and the music? Why was the only African-American cameo Method Man (who was the head drug supplier)? It's a Hip-Hop movie stripped of everything a Hip-Hop movie should have: the dj, the b-boy, the MC, and the graffiti. Instead, THE WACKNESS becomes the typical 2000's indie film that wallows in angst, irony, and sublime disattachment to actual emotion.

p.s. there is something so wrong about Mary Kate "Passport to Paris" Olsen as a hippie/party girl. The WTF factor is off the charts. She was 8 in 1994, people.
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10/10
Release this movie on DVD--it's hilarious!
29 October 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie at the Milwaukee International Film Festival this past Thursday night, and brought my entire Art Club to watch it as well...and they all enjoyed it! I wish I had been able to stay & chat with the director at Von Trier's beer garden after the show, but anyways...

THIS MOVIE IS COMEDY GOLD. It is *every bit* as funny as SPINAL TAP and possibly even funnier than BEST IN SHOW or A MIGHTY WIND (other great mockumentaries) because most college students are familiar with this kind of curriculum--eccentric teachers, ridiculous assignments, and the great interpersonal tensions and friendships that you can get in situations like this.

Everyone's favorite character (and mini-movie) was Delvaux/Delvo, and his film "Il S'Appelle Phillippe." I loved *all* the mini-movies, though--this entire movie was filled with detail and humor, so much so that I thought it was a real documentary for the first half of the film.

WATCH THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE! and *please* release it on DVD!
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1/10
Unbearable. 88 Minutes of Pain.
22 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
My friend Robin and I make a habit of watching awful movies for fun. "Abraxas," "Bordello of Blood," "Carnival of Fear"...these were all pretty bad. But at least they had some redeeming elements--quotable quotes, laugh-out-loud clunky acting, hysterically bad (or good) special effects. This movie was just plain AWFUL. It deserves to be #1 on IMDb's worst movie list--or at least beat out SPICEWORLD, which I've watched 50+ times. The plot of J.J.M.F.D.? We start out in a small Mexican village (obviously an illustration) where all the "ignorant peasants" are fleeing from the "doctor" in the castle up on the hill, who performs experiments on them. Then we flash to the hacienda/castle, where the absolutely tripped-out-crazy Daughter of Frankenstein, Maria, has killed another village boy in her quest to build a living slave. She decides she needs someone "Beeeg, und shtrong..." Which leads us to Jesse James the outlaw and his muscular but dimwitted friend Hank, who are being swindled by these bad guys into making a fake hold-up on a fake wagon, so that the Sheriff can catch Jesse and give them the reward $$$. But Jesse and Hank get away, only Hank gets shot in the pectorals. They stumble across a family of the fleeing "ignorant peasants" including the saucy daughter Juanita, who flirts shamelessly with any male in the movie. They direct them to go to the "doctor" in the castle, who decides that she likes Hank very much for his "beeg und shtrong" body. And she *really* likes Jesse James. But she loses to her rival Juanita! the Anger! the Jealousy! the awful acting! Hank as a mindless Frankenzombie! Dear God, this movie was bad. Avoid it!
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Twin Sitters (1994)
10/10
A Masterpiece of 90's Cinema! A+!
28 November 2004
THIS is the best 90's comedy EVER made! I challenge you to find a better movie than this. The Barbarian Brothers are at their acting peak as Peter and David Falconi, two musclebound twins who are fired from their job as waiters at the world's most disgusting Italian restaurant. They try to get a bank loan (unsuccessfully) and are bemoaning their loss in a local park when three gangsters try to shoot a local shipping tycoon (played by John Paragon) who's decided to inform on his nefarious bosses' activities. Anyways, the Brothers save all the kids from the snipers, and become local heroes--and get a NEW job, working for shipping tycoon as the babysitters for his twin nephews, Bradley and Stephen. Bradley & Stephen are the world's most uptight preppy blond identical brats, and so the Barbarians face the considerable challenge of enlightening them to the wisdom of pasta, funky-ass clothes, and riding around in their monster truck. The Barbarians fall in love with Stephen and Bradley's tutor (who looks like Jennifer Connely) and end up duking it out with the bad guys. THE TWINSITTERS DRINKING GAME: take a shot every time the Butler drops a tray! I dare you!
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10/10
Gimme some stereotypes and a big glass of Grog! Yar!
28 November 2004
Love this movie SO much. Why was it such a big flop, you might ask? It

could be because it's the most femenist action movie since THELMA & LOUISE. The total amount of crotch-kicks inflicted on male characters runs in the high double-digits, and this movie is so loaded with hilarious girl-power innuendo ("See? I got your balls!"). The special FX are great, there are plenty of pirate stereotypes for everyone (like the tattooed boatswain Mr. Glasspoole, the helpful Caribbean pirate, the fresh-faced pirate apprentice, etc.) Uncle Dog steals the show, and the sets/scenery in Malta and Thailand are breathtakingly gorgeous. The soundtrack is also superb--very "piratey" and action-filled. This movie is an overlooked gem, similar to the 1992 version of "Treasure Island" starring Charlton Heston. If you like Pirates, you owe it to yourself to see both movies!
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