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Savages (2012)
8 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Worst movie I've ever seen in my life, 1 January 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Is this movie meant to be taken seriously? Because I laughed through the entire thing. Blake Lively as O makes for a certain shoe in for the worst actress of the year at the razzie awards. Very nice Shakespeare reference. Not. The end beach sequence with her looking into the camera as the sun sets in the background was proof of how she is better suited for Calvin Klein cologne commercials, not major motion pictures,certainly not an Oliver Stone drug cartel "drama". Seriously, her and Taylor Kitsch should have just made a porno and called it a day. Kitsch's flaring nostrils and egregious dialogue in this film make me wonder how he will ever get work again. Oh wait, he was hired after John Carter. Never mind. Worst.Actor.Ever. Not one shred of personality on screen. His interaction with Aaron Johnson throughout the film as they shared joints and talked about their love for O was so contrived...I hate watching actors who I can tell are acting. I wasn't able to get lost in this film, I was aware of the acting and lackluster writing the entire 2 hours plus. The only "believable" part was when Ben and Chan were riding dirty with 300 lbs of weed in the van and the cop behind them flicked his lights on but ultimately went speeding past. That sense of relief is something to which I can relate. Otherwise....  Two weed entrepreneurs sharing a blonde bimbo who brings nothing to the table expect for her willingness to spread her legs..?!??Unbelievable that she was so special and irreplaceable. The trio lived in Laguna Beach, there's like a million "O"'s there.  If the love triangle was so "special", perhaps the viewer should have been informed why. Otherwise the movie looks like a stoned guy with  PTSD and his  Buddhist lover  trying to ensure that their source of vagina wouldn't be compromised to a Mexican drug cartel. Chan couldn't "last three weeks"...O could only last "like 7 to 10 days." WTF? My favorite part: When O asked her kidnapper for weed via Skype  "I mean the stuff we're all killing each other for". Hahahaha. I laughed so hard at the ending. I didn't realize this film was supposed to be a stoner comedy?  Benecio del Toro, Emelie Hirsch and Selma Hayek are lucky that their career isn't over after agreeing to be in this POS.