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Life After Beth (2014)
A Different Zombie Film But Without Laughs or Scares
First time director Jeff Baena has made a film so dull and unwatchable by the end of the movie where the usual end credit scene he can't even fill a whole 90 minute movie he has to put DVD commentary at the end. That is how you know how much he tried to drag a film to get a full 90 minute movie. Last years Warm Bodies was dull and uninteresting but this takes it to the dumpster. It is the most dreadful film to sit through I have seen this year. Boring unfunny and situations that are meant to be either funny or life threatening where director Edgar Wright did with something right like Shaun of the Dead and everything that film succeed in this fails on all levels. The first fifth-teen minutes of the film was OK but totally after that the film falls harder than the time John C. Reilly gets drunk in almost all his movies.
The real problem is having faith in Park & Recs big star Aubrey Plaza still can't find a vehicle to take her to big movie stardom. Unlike Chris Pratt you is Star-Lord. But never the less this is one film where the actual danger is less worrying than to excited about. And she does nothing for the screenplay to move along it is really as dead as the zombies. All the actors are really trying there best to stay awake and bring some joy charm anything to bring life in this awful film. Just a waste of good actors giving nothing else to do except give awful lines that don't mean anything to solve a story or provide any comical death or even the worst it is just a bore.
As for the zombie aspect is the worst because they like smooth Jazz and attics. It just doesn't work like Warm Bodies. Zombies are for no other reasons for them to eat people and for humans to kill them in horrific ways but you never get that in this film. To me good zombie movies are exactly that and this is one that does not provide anything useful or even funny new or what it is trying to accomplish a spark or romance between the two main characters and it is terrible.
I really wanted to like it but prepare yourself for one dull comedy, thrill less horror film, and worst and romcom that fails on all level. Also last the tone is all over the place there is supposed to be actual threat for these people going through the zombie apocalypse that is incredibly uninteresting.
The Expendables 3 (2014)
The young cast can't overshadow the old cast.
And that is what is ruined for the most part of this third installment of a franchise that said it will stop after the first one. Sly can still write crappy lines and still have the fun for it. So for the first couple of action scenes that are amusing there are what makes the Expandables so much dang fun. But of course there has to be a plot and also new cast members. Some are OK some are absolutely terrible and then there's Antonio Banderas who is the most insane and incredible fun to be hold in this guy. And you just go with it.
The original cast is still kinda there except SPOILERRRRRRR...........
JET LI SHOWS UP AT THE LAST 10 minutes of the film. I am a huge Jet LI fan because he is incredible. The plot is easy to follow the action is easy to see and it has Mel Gibson. Mel Antisemitic Gibson still shows that he is the best of the best being the most bad a$$ mother flipper ever put on screen and he is just explosive and awesome. Other cast members are just there really and don't have anything else to do.
So joins Wesley Snipes who they get rid off in the first 20 minutes the four new kids they get are OK at best but never spark anything other than kick jump and shoot. And it is funny because when they do get rid of the old cast very earlier Dolph Lundgren had a look on his face saying this is the only work I can get please don't kick me out.
To conclude PG-13 is OK but this did nothing for the R rating before so it is not disputing to think it could have been better. John McClain left and we will see if he made a good choice and You best believe Jason Statham A.K.A. The Stath is incredible and always fantastic. So the film equals out to be a 6.7/10 but a very fun and good rental.
Sex Tape (2014)
I'll keep this short, sweet, and simple because this movie didn't.
So the re-team of 2011's Bad Teacher which I did like very much ends up three years later to make a film that is so outdated with a story that no one cares about. But that is the thing we never can go to a comedy to see the plot because the best comedy limit there plot just enough to add clever jokes to keep you in the seat the you paid for. Well guess what this movie fails at every inch of trying to be like the 2010's Date Night with Steve Carell and Tina Fey with them meeting a bunch of colorful characters that you would rather see in a funnier movie. This is one of the worst films of the year because of course it is boring flat and dull but not even that justifies how bad it is. At least at flipping least The Other Woman was kind alive and bright with it being funny because I can see what people like in that movie. But this is just gosh awful with nothing to convince you at least a single point of being funny smart or even enjoyable because the actors don't even give it there comedy all with nothing to do except run this tired plot into the ground that goes no where.
Do I like comedies? Heck yea. Good ones. But this is just not it.
But people complain that nothing goes on in Neighbors but at least that is a film that is alive and knows what it wants to be with a great team up and execution that makes me dying laughing but this is just one word awful. This is one Sex Tape that will not make anyone enjoy so do you all yourself a favor and go see TF4, Apes, or anything else please because this crap beyond belief.