Reviews written by registered user

Send an IMDb private message to this author or view their message board profile.

Page 1 of 3:[1] [2] [3] [Next]
29 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Whip me more hon, I like it! Oh my, what a complete foolishness!, 18 March 2015

A rich tormented man seduces a naive or a nitwit female to get his pervert satisfactions on motion - A movie that presumably can induce the public that abuse and cheap BDSM is OK to apply on every women. Nice subject to deter the many Stop Violence against Women campaigns worldwide.

Stay OUT of this misery - No chemistry, no libido, no sensuality, no eroticism, no NOTHING! Wasting your time is what you will get by seeing this balked, disparaging and insulting story. Amazingly, on top of this all, it was a female that directed this movie... shame on you Sam Taylor-Johnson!

The only positive thing is Boca do Lobo's exclusive and luxurious interiors - An amazing decor! That's why I gave 2 stars in my vote!

The Device (2014/I)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Feeble motion picture filled with bewilderment, 24 February 2015

One thing that sums all up this movie: The trailer is so much better than the actual full length. Not kidding!

Cast: Not bad.

Music: Somewhat good.

Effects: Not good, but not awful either.

Plot: Three people encounter a strange device while in a secluded forest cabin. They touch it and ultimately they start to get feeling strange and deviated. (Humm...awkward)

The plot is very predictable, there are clichés everywhere, the pacing of the film blows away the narrative into an incoherent and confusing chaos.

The whole film seems an unfinished puzzle until the very end as if the viewer is meant to be thrown into a spiraling and awkward, ambiguous conclusion.

For fervent sci-fi fans this flick could be enjoying. For me it was just like watching a mundane and humdrum bizarre story to be rapidly forgotten as soon the movie rolls its ending credits.

Jesus Christ! There is almost no words to label this, 24 February 2015

If you have bought this film but first went seeing these reviews I am afraid that I have some really bad news for you... this movie is so, so bad, horrible, lousy and heinous that you better throw it rapidly to the dust bin without blinking or even seeing it (undoubtelly a smart decision... believe me!).

Goodies: The zombies looked like clowns and the blood rotted Ketchup.

More goodies: Appalling wardrobe and laid-back/nonthreatening zombies.

Pace: Infinitively slow.

Cast: They were just doing their job for some bucks.

Script review: Flawed from the beginning, clichéd remarks abound everywhere, no credible tension and stupidity all around. A really cheesy B-movie!

Opinion: Don't waste your money or your precious time seeing this utter rubbish. Summing The Dead the Damned and the Darkness it's just three Ds filled with a big S!

Lost Time (2014)
13 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Unbelievable junk... just burn this trash!, 24 February 2015

Yes, I am saying politely in the summary. This movie is so atrocious that I advise everyone to use all of its package as combustion to set some good fire on freezing nights.

Astounding feat: The first half-hour of the movie presents the main actress trying to find her sister. A complete banal and monotonous way to open a film with the first 35 minutes (!!) filled with walking around thru nothings and the nerve-racking ineptitude of the actress to have sex with her man.

Plot review: It is an amazing silliness with grotesque and pointless annoying shots after that blank 35 minutes. The movie tries to offer a miscellany of alien conspiracy theories and weirdo scientific experiments but only delivers confusion, commonplaces, poorly conceived interactions and a horrific bad experience to the viewer.

Big question: How this script found funding is an enigma to me.

Conclusion: Avoid this one for the sake of your time.

7 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Violent but good-hearted villains, 18 February 2015

Movie packed with a little scent of action-drama of the 1970s. This Australian movie gets better as it is unfolded.

Good acting, good photography and a brief dose of humanity and thriving. Even if the script is nothing out of the normal, the film itself shows us a fast-driven story of convicted criminals trying to live under a small "mafia" organization - Love, lust, betrayal, death and commiseration will be the ingredients to cook up this story.

PS-> Don't watch the trailer because it sucks and deviates you from seeing a good movie. (I avoided myself from viewing trailers years ago for any movie) - They are simple a pure commercial beacon that use the best scenes as a vehicle of opportunism to forge you into seeing something that ultimately it does not translate into what you are expecting.

15 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
Just pointless garbage - IMDb's rating very abnormal!, 9 October 2013

They had paid 16.000 people to vote 10 on this idiotic movie... it can't be possible that there's 16.000 movie-goers acclaiming this egocentric and unfunny piece of crap as a TOP10 voting...

Let's start to try to save the ill-advised ones: The story goes well before the scene where Hell goes loose on Earth... but after that it all goes off downward as we start to see just rubbish monologues, dialogs, poor character interaction, self-indulgent actors and an unrealistic and beyond frustrating reality and self-absorbed mental apparatus...

I was, as many reviewers here, fooled by the rating of IMDb presenting a 7.5!!!! I felt utterly stupid because I didn't read all the other comments already written as I usually do, and those opinions, unfortunately, showed an otherwise picture... and an awful one i'm afraid.

If this is comedy, I rather see once again Titanic and laugh out at brilliant DiCaprio's jokes and nastiness on-board the ship... yes, they're better than this supposedly comedy movie.

Avoid this film if you want to remain mentally fit and spare your money. I would instead give my $6 dollars to a homeless man rather to this ever-growing disappointing Lions Gate Company.

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg... no more for me!

Suddenly (2013)
60 out of 105 people found the following review useful:
Majestic fecal matter of a movie, 29 August 2013

I never saw Lewis Allen's "Suddenly" (1954), but I guess I just don't need, because I know a priori that it is an Oscar-winning film comparing to this atrocious remake made by an unskilled, dull and inept director that, besides being labeled as a movie-killer by making abominable, heretic and unintelligible movies, still get millions to produce plain pointless excrement.

Nevertheless, I swallowed an aspirin and, maybe taken a bit away to the fact Boll's last movie drew some fair critics, I finally had the courage to assist a movie made by this European quarreling psyche. Unfortunately my expectations weren't wrong at all: It was like to have an urge to commit suicide or to mutilate myself for being an utterly idiot.

Boll's cinematic masterpieces, according to him, 'Alone in the Dark', 'House of the Dead' and 'Far Cry' are all, cemented by virtually 90% of critics and spectators, a collection of rambling-disjointed narratives of absurdity, execrable directing, vile and poorly written scripts and an unbelievable populist egocentric paranoia product of a tormented mind.

This movie, for which it was presented with established actors, fails miserably in achieving something other than a mind-blowing overly median hogwash.

I really must go out and buy the original movie to make a sincere topic comparison and eventually assert righteously that Uwe Boll must pay in prison terms for brain damage to the public and serious technical incompetence. Even with Liotta and Purcell on the screen the movie drags on into a worn out monosyllabic clichéd and putrid dialog.

The story of 3 assassins posing as secret agents who find an excellent sniper spot (a house) to murder the US president is tantalizing enough to draw a good script, but with Uwe Boll, that's not the case: For Boll it seems the only person to sense something about the fake agents is an alcoholic, self-neglecting and psychically affected and sacked ex-marine who can't cope with his friend death years and years ago. Brilliant!

I really think there's not much more to say unless citing all the mumbo-jumbo and mediocrity that abounds in this Boll's vision of a film. Ultimately, dare me to advise you to spare your limited lifetime and patience and skip this for real - You won't regret, I CAN assure 100%.

PS-> Another priceless story is how I ended up seeing this "piece of art". - But please don't ask me to, I cannot tell, Boll can lawfully sue me or else invite me for a matching box until K.O.

The Iceman (2012)
Kuklinski's fiasco on film print, 28 August 2013

Casted with a cream of talented actors, for which sincerely everyone gave their best, the movie actually stomped hard in a script and direction crisis that failed miserably to show interest in the protagonist.

The film obviously suffers from the absence of anyone to care about because it was shot-like as a documentary - a brief and massively incomplete narrative about the life of this mafia's cold-ruthless hit-man. The director may have well in mind the "based on a true story" concept rather than going into the true Richard Kuklinski's biography idea, but the progress of the film was too expeditious and sometimes obnoxiously recurrent while dealing his countless impulse murders or contract killings.

But the biggest failure in the plot line was the weak portrayal and developing line between Kuklinsky's underground life and the social relationship into his family life - Hardly toned and underplayed.

Even with these serious imperfections the movie still delivers strong punches in the stomach with brilliant performances, atmospheric scores and good photography. In short, it's a demonic experience into the life of a conscienceless man that balance into bloody mayhem and the ingenious caring and love-bound knit to his family. But society often forgets that psychopaths are also pathological liars and misleading dramatis personae.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
An huge mediocre thing wasted on film print., 27 August 2013

The Forest of the Damned can be classified as this: More than terrible concerning the acting, the script, the shooting, the direction....well, everything this useless thing can spit out into your eyes. Stupid lines, stupid story, unbelievable disgusting pace and cheap nudity. That's how you make a abhorrent movie! If you see Forest of the "Nausea" let me remind you will never be the same again. My brain just couldn't cope with the utter trash vomited by this carnival of fecal matter...

I just can't believe there's people out there that liked this crap... no sense, more than horrible/painful performance and a terrifying will to shout "I want my money back and the head of this inept director!" And, please, IMDb administrators, let people give 0 rating to films that shouldn't be produced. I gave 1 star cause it's the lowest grade here, but sincerely this Forest deserved, not 0, but below 0!

Transit (2012/I)
4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Weak as a candlestick but unyielding, 30 January 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Although the script is somewhat original, the whole story is a portrait of an exhausted ever seen scenes in other movies. The cast is quite good and the pace satisfactory but as you progress in the story you start to realize this is just another movie packed with a common story with guns, speedy cars, violence and sort of expected ending. I got the impression that the neat family was rather more tough and resourceful than the bad guys. Cavaziel plays a real-estate fraud convict father on parole who plans a trip in the field to compensate and promote positively the family bounds which clearly was disintegrating. The whole family will frustrate the bad guys' plan in retrieving their stolen bounty from them. I don't remember if Cavaziel's wife in the film was a ex-CIA or ex-FBI or something, but what it looks like a pretty and normal woman, she unexpectedly manages to escape of a motel room within millimeters from the bad guys' grasping hands and later in the movie we'll see her holding and fully operate an old Kalashnikov that would make Rambo blush big time. The flick was kind of normal to assist but it didn't exposed nothing out of the ordinary - just a plain storyline full of clichés and reiteration of what was already accomplished in a thousand movies yet produced.

Page 1 of 3:[1] [2] [3] [Next]