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Alien: Isolation (2014) (VG)
Nothing much works here., 24 November 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Since we got here, the ship has actually improved in condition, minus some fire damage.

This game marks the first time a company got alien right since 1986. This is the game I wanted back before colonial marines came out, something based on the first film, because it was sickening playing as a colonial marine for 6 different games in a row.

The plot/game-play: Amanda Ripley wants a flight recorder, that is it. The human characters are uninspired, they are killed off as quickly as they appear, and you couldn't care less. The homicidal working Joes are far more interesting beings. The survivors aboard the ship serve little to no purpose, and add little substance to the overall story.

The style of game-play is a breath of fresh air, stealth, survival, and tactics. While they are implemented well enough, it still suffers the genres age old flaw, questionable Ai. It really takes away from the experience when you go up against humans with a flare and win, especially once they start questioning the flare on who's there. The alien Ai also has some problems, I like how it sort of has a mind of it's own when it is tracking you, but that doesn't stop it from being predictable. When you first go up against the alien, it is heart racing and intense, that is until you figure out how to avoid it. I found myself crouch walking through levels without the alien even showing up. Even just quickly analyzing your area, you can tell where the alien can and can't go. That is unless the game decides to spawn the alien right on top of you, or have the alien jump up into the vents, then jump down again, then jump right back up the same vent. Or literally have the alien spawn behind you in a vent, physically push you out, and then kill, all while you're wondering what just happened. This game relies heavily on beginners traps, you have to pay extra attention to what's in front of you to attempt to avoid them. On the final missions they really start to throw them at you. The quest objectives them selves consist of flipping switches, pulling levers, turning stuff on and off, and powering stuff up, yeah sounds gripping.

I advise not using your firearms until near the end of the game, most of the game you can get by just using stealth, maintenance jack, Emps and stun rods. And I recommend you don't even bother using the revolver at all, it is completely worthless. Conserve your flamer fuel by using Molotov's instead. And lastly, the greatest weapon, the motion tracker, never not use it.

Graphics/sound: Surprisingly grade A sound and graphic design, this game replicates alien in tone and atmosphere. But the human characters models look like complete garbage, and really stand out compared to the rest of the beautifully rendered game.

Longevity: I completed the game in around 13 hours, but I had the gift of foresight so that trimmed the time down. The DLC so far has been nothing lasting, you play it once and you're done. The survivor challenges aren't even worth doing since it doesn't add to the experience. I'm a bit sad right now because I want to keep playing this game, but they didn't implement any content to keep you playing. I hate to be saying this but, even a player vs. player multi-player mode featuring the working Joes or alien would have been welcome. But I'm sure there will be more single player DLC, and I look forward to it.

5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
I despise this film., 18 September 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This film is trash, one of the worst I've seen in a while. It's messages and morals are messed up. Men are horribly portrayed in this film, for second I thought it was made by a feminist. Ned is dominated by his viscous wife, cooper is a shallow sex fiend, and heck is used and tossed aside in a millisecond. The woman on the other hand are portrayed as whimsical, with whimsical music playing as they are committing adultery, while the man is emotionally distressed at home. I hate Rachel she somehow becomes an instant lesbian, and flirts with another woman on her wedding day, then continues to go out with her while her husbands at home. Heck is backed into a corner, and is forced to leave her, she doesn't even give two sh-ts about his feelings and the amount of pain he is going through. She just runs off to another woman with whimsical music playing, while Heck cries on a rooftop. This film made me think back on films, every time a woman cheats on a man, it is deemed okay, but if a male character were to cheat on a woman, he is deemed as the most vile human on earth and should die.

This film sucks, it's a real " you go girl, show that man whose boss" type of film.

Godzilla (2014)
6 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
A crowd pleaser, but not what we were hoping for., 15 May 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

10 years, I've waited ten years for this, there was no way it could live up to the hype. This is all I have been doing the last 2 months, scouring the internet for Godzilla this and Godzilla that. I see why people are complaining about this film, and nitpicking ever inch. This was supposed to be the standard for any monster film to come. But the little snots who cry because this was supposed to be a masterpiece of cinema, it's Godzilla, what did you expect. I have viewed this film three times already, so let's get into it.

Audience reactions: The Thursday crowd didn't show much excitement. But the Friday group was going bananas, they cheered and clapped three times, it was a sold out theatre doing this, that is the first time I had ever seen that happen.

The story: It's a very well laid out structure, all be it a little rushed. The first hour sets everything up, it's slow. But once the Muto breaks free, the film is lightning fast, forget time relevance or pacing. The monster madness happens so fast that you don't get time to savour it. The last 30 minutes was rushed beyond belief, the entire city is destroyed in like 30 minutes real time. The pacing really is the biggest down fall of this film. You get nothing, then they tease you, then nothing, then they tease you, they you get everything, but you missed it. This is why you need to see it a second time, it actually improves when viewed again.

Characters/monsters: I forgot about Bryan Cranston just about as fast as the film did. Aaron Johnson was alright, Olsen was good. Ken didn't have much to do besides his( nature, Godzilla) love speech. Sally Hawkins is virtually unnoticeable. And David, he's alright. This film should have been called Muto, they have the most screen time and character development in the film. Who am I forgetting.... I know there is something missing. Oh yeah Godzilla's in this, with all of his 15 minutes of screen time, but it is a glorious 15 minutes.

Effects: The effects are top tier, everything looks great. The most impressive effect goes to the Muto's, they look real good. Like real life good. The cinematography really makes these monsters look larger than life. Godzilla looks good for the most part, but I'm not used to seeing him move so fast. The sound design is really good. Godzilla's roar rocks the whole theatre.

Best scenes: Anything with the Muto's in it, the bridge scene, the climax. But the best scene is hands down one of the most well crafted pieces of cinema I have ever seen. The Honolulu scene, my Godzilla it was so well paced and shot, this scene alone is worth the price of admission.

Notes: It's worth checking out for the casual viewer, I don't see why people wouldn't enjoy it. The action is great, the set pieces are great. And yes, this film is the best monster film since King Kong(2005), hey why not Jurassic Park, yes it is the best monster film since Jurassic park. After viewing this film for a third time, I have come to the conclusion that Gareth dropped the ball. Watch the teaser trailer, that is what I wanted, that is what the people needed. If he had just done that, and then done this film as a sequel, it would have been perfect. We really needed a film to set Godzilla up first.

Oculus (2013/I)
1 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
4102 allizdog, 12 April 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I haven't written one of these in a while, expect some BS.

First I'd like to address the trailers, Hmm... I only remember the one, I guess I wasn't the only one in this boat. The audience gave some positive hype to it, the Youngin's are into it, I smell new life blood for Godzilla. For me personally, I wanted to cry because it was best thing I've experienced in a while, can't wait.

So now the film, it's Meh. It wasn't a total waste of money, but also wasn't money well spent. I'm only 18, it didn't effect me, but it effected the grown adult audience, that's not good. The two characters had only one set of emotions each. The sister was obsessed, the brother was snivelling. The beginning was boring, the middle got my attention, the 3rd act lost me completely. The two time lines running parallel was just awe-full, just show us what happens and stop trying to seem cool and brilliant, it sucks. There was no suspense or scares, or intelligent scares. Instead it used painful violence to try to put you at unease. And the whole unhappy ending, protagonist losing bit just doesn't work anymore. Same goes for the happy ending/fake out ending. The only way to get a solid reaction is to go out hard-core like.

Ghosts/scares: Sub par generic I guess, I mean I forget them already. The only part that came close to being disturbing was the mom being mutilated and chained up like a dog, but literally half a second later, and we see she is just possessed by a demon and has the intelligence of a house fly. Way to ruin that scare, I thought that was going to be some hard core stuff right there.

So that's Oculus... I think, I don't know I already forget it. It's a bad year for horror and this is the best so far, but the Godzilla trailer was awesome, go pay ten dollars to see that trailer on the big screen.

Dredd (2012)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Modern action classic., 8 March 2014

The more I watch this film, and the more modern action movies I see, I have to say this film is one of the best in the last ten years. Most action movies now are just dumbed down to a common level, with actors you don't remember, even SLY and Arnold's latest films were terrible. But this film just works, the setting, the visuals, the violent world with no hope for peace, and of course Dredd laying down the law. It's not over the top and goofy or in your face like Fast 5 or something. There's no dumb comedy reliefs, instead it's very subtle, most of which coming from Dredds reactions to his surroundings and his attitude. The action is well paced, the world is dark, the characters are believable, it all fits nicely. And there is no happy ending, just another day on the job, tomorrow will be the same, but Dredd will always lay down the law. This will be remembered as a classic, in time though.

Battlefield 4 (2013) (VG)
4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
DO NOT BUY THIS GARBAGE, anyone who says this is good is lying., 24 November 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Don't even bother reading what this review says, just go straight to my list about this game, it contains all you need to know, COD GHOSTS IS MORE ENJOYABLE THAN THIS TRASHHEAP.

PS. The bf4 community is worse than the COD community ever was, take that into consideration. There are no BF glory days to be had here, move along.

Don't get me wrong, I played the sh-t out of BF throughout my life. Even though BF3 was technically bad by standards, but I played a lot of it. You see, when you try to expand upon CODS fan base, it brings in the idiots. And when you get the idiots on your team, YA DONE. The COD players pollute this franchise. But for the most time, the game was too damn easy. But the single player had some decent challenge and okay moments.

The campaign: There is two critical wrongs here. First, it's like three hours long, every thing happens too fast. You get put in prison, two minutes later you escape, you meet Dima, he's dead 20 minutes later. There is battles between the U.S., China and Russia, it gets resolved in a less than a week. There's twists, double cross's, civil war, and EMP's. And it all fly's past you faster than you can figure out what is going on. I mean, I like the plot and locations, but it feels rushed, at least BF3's story had some good pacing. It's still better than any thing COD has put out in the last 3 years. The second problem is, it is way too easy. Even on hard mode, you still just breeze through it. Give the kiddies a false sense of accomplishment I guess. I give it a 7 out of 10 stars, I enjoyed it, at least it was memorable, unlike half of the other 2013 games I bought. The soundtrack can be described as cool music that goes with causing mas destruction, it actually fits in very well with the games mood. I would have liked some instrumental versions of the songs as well, but oh well.

Multiplayer: This is where the 3.5 comes in. Maybe I haven't played enough of it yet, but the vehicles, guns, maps, and level up system are the exact same thing you have seen in BF3. Commander rarely ever makes a presence. Other than that, there is nothing new brought to the table. "Well what about counter knifing", all I do is mash the controller. I'm guessing the PS3 and 360 got BF3.5, and the PS4 got the real deal. Leveloution shines bright in Paracel storm, the whole map changes with the hurricane going on, it's a feast for the eyes. I give it a 7 out of 10.

Technical aspects: Is it just me, or does this game look worse than BF3 did. I mean, BF3 looked great when it was released, but this game just looks blah. The textures are range from beautiful down to downright atrocious. You remember what the game looked like in the trailer, yeah it looks nothing like that. The rain is this games highlight, I love the glare it makes when combined with the lighting. I guess I am just going to have to wait for the full experience when I get a PS4 in February. Another thing, this game seams to cause problems with my internet when I try to go online, sometimes I get signed out, and sometimes it tells me I can't connect to EA servers. There is a few minor problems with loading times, and strange glitches in the story mode. There are big pixelated blotches, and unloaded textures. Enemy soldiers fall through the floor so you can't kill them, and have to restart the checkpoint. One glitch, I fell down a pitfall and died, then I re-spawned all the way down where I fell, luckily it let me finish the mission.

I don't know what dices problem is with trying to copy and paste COD, and why do they refuse to make Bad company 3, was it not kiddie enough to be successful. So the game could be considered good, just nothing great. Still better than every other shooter that was released this year. I give it a 7.5 out of 10.


12 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Social Degen of duty: Ghost gets shot in the back, 11 November 2013

DON'T READ IF YOU ARE A CALL OF DUTY SOLDIER. I only bought this game so I could suffer through it's BS, that and I've been playing this franchise since 2004, it's kind of hard to just stop playing it. I get amused when people claim to be old school COD players when they started Black ops. Now, I have nothing good to say about this game, mainly because the god-amn thing doesn't work when ever I try to play it. Most of the issues from BLOPS 2 return, plus they had some other game breaking ones as well.

The story and survival: The story mode is almost as ridiculous as Homefront, it's your standard American fist bumping, teaching the kiddies to be patriotic and violent. The survival with aliens is flat out lack luster, zombies got old after two games, this got old after two minutes. Story gets 0 out of 5 stars. Survival gets I out of 5 stars. Off to a great start so far IW.

Multiplayer, the only reason anyone bought the game, which was a pretty weak reason to begin with. Here are the flaws I have discovered in the mear hour and a half I have played, or should I say, I could only play because it hasn't worked in two days. That IW, it's good to know the millions of people on PS3 don't deserve your exclusive platinum quality that you give to Microsoft. Flaws: 1. Maps are too damn big, and have no rhyme or reason. 2. This mans army is full of children. 3. The lag is the same old same old. 4. The graphics look like they are from 2008. 5. The single player is moronic and boring. 6. Not a single one of the faults I addressed below were even considered, except for the limp ass specialist. 7. Spawns are too close on the big maps, you always get shot in the back or spawn where you just died. 8. Same gun sound effects used in every other IW game. 9. Strip club map for the little 12 year olds to giggle at. 10. Dogs can kill you from ten feet away 11. Maps are thee worst in series history. 12. Every body hates it already. Besides the maps and camping, the biggest problem is IW has tailored this game for campers, it literally forces you to "adapt" to their new formula. Rushers get punisher, while MLG pro campers get rewarded.

Here's a paragraph from my "CoD ghosts sucks" list, it describes how the game plays for me. It's been two days of trying to get this game to work again, it worked on Friday, but hasn't worked since. Activision is a joke, same sh-t happens every year. But unlike the last fews years were I could actually join a match and play, this year it just freezes in the lobby right when the match timer runs out. When I enter kill confirmed, it freezes instantly. When I enter team death match, the lobby works just fine and I can hear people talking. The timer runs out, and it freezes. I've searched for hours on the internet for people with the same problems, there's a lot of them. Hell, my computer may have a virus now, all because this stupid ass game refuses to work. I'm stuck with this until February, no BF4, no Killzone Shadow Fall, just a 120 dollar game that doesn't work. How am I supposed to return a hardened edition, EB games won't take it back and give me a new one. Speaking of EB games, how many god damn times to I have to buy a game from them, that is either cracked or defective.

I have confirmed that all core COD fans have left already, and that all pre-MW3 fans don't give a sh-t any more. So that leaves factual evidence that 12 years olds are the only ones left, and the unfortunate adults that.... hide in corners and head glitch for a KD ratio IN A VIDEO GAME, WHAT DOES THAT GET YOU IN THE REAL.

If you want my full thoughts and rants about the game, go check out my list. As I am writing this, I am thinking of trying to go get the game to work, even though my efforts are futile. The game is a complete disaster, but the COD nerds will still defend it with their lives. Well, I'm off to go see if this game will work.

Nov. 13th/14th update: So I got the game to work on the 12th, and have put eight and a half hours in so far. The multi-player is broken beyond repair, you spawn and die within half a second at least a dozen times every hour, if it ain't that, you are probably just getting shot in the back. I play kill confirmed exclusively, since you can't very well count of getting kills, you minus well go for tags. And I consistently beast because nobody plays the objective. The guns suck, aside from the pump shoty and HB. There is barely anyone playing, I'm level 32 and am already rank 10'000 in the KC play-list. On the positive, it is more enjoyable than BLOPS 2, I love the Honey badger, Tar 21, and also spread my time through whatever garbage they through in. I haven't touched anything outside of AR and SMG categories, squad points are scarce, to bad you couldn't just unlock them as you progress. Stone Haven and Soveriegn are a snipers paradise, they just run around and quick scope you in a millisecond, or snipe you across map with an ACOD scope, same sh-t different year. I've only met one player who I had to battle with for 1st place on the scoreboard. He got the better k/d, but I always got more tags, so I claim victory.

6 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Godzilla says this movie sucks, and so do I., 23 October 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

So this is apparently a remake of some soft core porno, you know the industry stooped low when they are remaking porn. This movie is very boring, maybe it has to do with the one dimensional characters that ooze blandness every time I see them. Maybe it's to do with the fact that the first hour doesn't make any sense. Charlotte has issues, yeah okay. Maybe it has something to do with the WTF Pre credits scene, all I know is the film jumps back and forth between reality and dream land.

All that I got out of this film is college is a pretty gross place, the women are like some torture masters. They haze fresh-mens by forcing them to strip and drink hard liquor, and if they don't comply, they are beaten. And if that's not the worst part, Charlotte is molested by some lesbian rapist, this right here showcases the soft core source material, that and about a dozen other sex and nude scenes. Then she's got this pervert co-worker breathing down her neck, he gets touchy feely and even stalks her. At this point the film showcases how unlikable all of the characters are. So Charlotte succumbs to the basic human need for sex, and lets Chris(her co worker) do the deed. But he gets killed before he can do it, was I supposed to care, I'll admit I laughed a little. At this point in the film it's pretty much twilight with all the love and BS drama between the girls and boys. So when will this end, oh another 20 minutes, I'll just skip to the end. And that's it, she kills the vampire and has a good cry, because she is going to be the new vampire, or something like that.

It's a terrible film straight from Canada, I knew that before the credits ended, it had a Canadian feel to it. I gave it a 1 out of 10, more so because it wasted my time, every thing about it is bad, and it's just a bland and uninteresting story. Gunga Gee Ga Gunga, as Elpresador would say, it's terrible people.

Carrie (2013)
1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Why is there a 5 year old in the theatre., 20 October 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

So I'm guessing this was remade because the of the surge of teen bullying that is going on in the news, so they thought it was time for an update. Too bad they didn't update it one bit huh. You know, they should have remade it, instead of following the original in every way shape and from. This is a pointless film, why was it made. They reuse the same scenes, same dialogue, no matter how goofy and dated it is. What was the deal with them putting that montage in this film, why would they put that in there.

The teenagers in this film are so Hollywood, Chris is like the god*amn devil, she is evil incarnate. And the whole prom theme, do the kids even care about that in this day and age, I don't know that's an American thing. And the whole teacher bullying Carrie, is this for real, I have never ever seen a teacher bully or allow bullying to a student. Every single thing in this film is complete garbage, except our two leads. Mortez was very good as Carrie, but the problem with that is, she pretty much just copied Sissy Spacek's performance. She was good, but I have seen it done before, and much better at that. But I still did feel her pain, and felt bad about what happened to her. Her reaction to Tommy dying was much better here, than it was in the original. I never much cared for Mortez before, and never understood why people liked her, but considering this is the first time she has ever given a good performance, I don't have a problem with her anymore. But the one who steals the show is Julianne Moore, she surpasses the original Margret White in my opinion. When she first appeared at the school after the incident, I could just feel her presence. The gym teacher was much weaker in this film, she didn't sit right with me.

Overall, the film is very disappointing, they had a huge opportunity to update this properly to fit with modern society. But no, it plays out as if it were still in the 70's. It has it's high and lows, but it was enjoyable. But the reality is, you could just stay at home and the original, or the tormented, or anything about this subject matter for dirt cheap.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Best Kaiju film, uh no., 15 October 2013

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I was surprised about how much people praise this film, I just finished viewing it, and I'm not that impressed. "Well you just didn't get the superb plot". Oh I got it, I just think it's stupid. Ayana somehow lifts a immovable stone, which causes some tentacle monster to hatch. So she raises it with the intent of sending it after Gamera. Was I supposed feel some sort of emotion when the characters and story progress. One, Iris looks cool, but frankly isn't a huge threat. Maybe for a little kid Iris will stir up some tension, but I didn't see any danger. And I was right, because he just gets his stomach ripped open in one punch, and is down for the count.

The plot was very sub par for a trilogy final. This film pretty much goes like this: 40 minutes of set up, 1 hour and 20 minutes until some thing happens, and 1 hour and 47 minutes of MEH-NESS. Seriously, you wait almost an hour and a half for like 2 minutes worth of monster fighting. What's the point of them putting three different monsters in this film, and have no fight scenes. It feels almost like they wanted to make a good movie, instead of a monster movie, I watched this to see monsters blow sh-t up, not some BS revenge story that is completely ridiculous.

I feel as if I should address the scene where Ayana offers herself. It's like some Japanese hentai. Let me repeat her words " Iris, I'm so hot(as she opens her blouse), what...HAHAHAHAHA? Then Iris grabs her with his tentacles. What was the deal with that, HAHAHAHAHA, I can't stop laughing. Oh yeah, the subtitles for this film are atrocious, you miss half of the dialogue because it doesn't even show up on the screen. But it is nowhere near as bad as the Godzilla vs. Megalon DVD, they pretty much just changed the dialogue for that.

I may not think to highly of this film, but that doesn't mean it's bad, it's actually very well made for a monster movie. But other than the quality, the 90's Godzilla films are much more enjoyable and fun to watch. This film is very violent, I would compare it to Godzilla vs. Destoroyah with the amount of carnage, but this film goes more into graphic detail, which is surprising.

I didn't care about any of the characters, the plot was just fine, there was no action, and it was genuinely unpleasant. But I still recommend watching it you like monster movies.

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