Reviews written by registered user

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54 reviews in total 
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Despiser (2003) (V)
1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
just like this......, 3 November 2004

like watching a video game, filmed in soap opera vision! I'm not kidding about the soap opera thing. The way all the fake drama kicks-in really looks like a soap opera.

here is what is wrong with this movie:

the acting is, well, it's just bad. No one turns in a decent role to make this movie fun-to-view. The banker who is about to jump is rediculosly funny in his acting.

The special effects begin to go overboard when they begin to switch from live action to what I like to call "video game mode." This technique begins to get old quick, and just works on your nerves once you see the computer generated characters. The talking troll is probably the funniest thing about the movie. It sounds like it's possessed by Butt-head for crying out loud!

A horrible soundtrack which really makes you go "EEK!" when you hear the damn thing. It's what I like to call "New-wave crap fest!"

Just don't watch this goofy movie. it's not art at all, it's just a poorly funded movie which ran straight-to-video. If you want to see real art in film, watch the movie Fight Club.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
one of my favorite shows as a kid!, 26 October 2004

I just could not get enough of this show when I was a kid. I enjoyed it so much. There is just no other way to describe it, other then it's really funny. It holds something for everyone to enjoy, kids and adults alike.

What's really great about this show is that when it progressed, each episode didn't usually have to do with Rocko. We got to see some relating to The Big Head's, or Philbert, or Heffer, Sometimes Spunky and the strange ring-worms that live inside him(which shows you what level this show was working on). It was all fun, hilarious, spontanious.

If you get the chanse to see this show on Nickeloden, or Nicktoons. I suggest you watch it. You will laugh. you don't have to be 10 years old to like the show, just have a good sense of humor.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
not at all too bad!, 26 October 2004

I like this show actually. I didn't watch it too much as a kid, but i catch a few episodes from time-to-time. This show is one of the better ones to come from Nickeloden, along with my favorite: Rocko's Modern Life. This one holds a fair amount of laughs in each episode.

my favorite episode would have to be when they are both Sleepwalking. It's pretty funny.

I love how most of the episodes have them both watching really bad B movies. they are just really funny, and look like the makers of the show were making fun of B movies.

I would recommend this show to anyone who can catch it on Nicktoons, or Nickelodeon. I would also recommend the show Action League NOW!

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
not too bad, though a little too much action!, 19 October 2004

I actually don't mind this movie too much, though the action sequences begin to get a little overboard. I still enjoyed this 2 hour + movie.

the acting is pretty good from all the cast. Hugh Jackman does very well as Van Helsing, and Kate Beckinsale does pretty well in her role, except her accent is a little off, this is easily overlooked when the movie goes on.

the sets are magnificent and get more spectacular as the movie continues, (i.e. the town, and Dracula's castle).

I would recommend this movie to any who love action movies. I think you will really enjoy this flick. If you love action movies, you will love this movie.

1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
goofy, lame, horrible slop to come out-of-japan, 16 October 2004

this movie is pretty bad, adding for one really good MST3K espiode, but i will get to that in a minute.

Oh wow! we get strange looking aliens that when they talk their voices sound super slowed down. Their helmets are in the shape of bullets and look hilarious.

the choreography is very funny when the fighting between space chief and the martian invaders(space chief jumps around a lot and slaps the martians a couple of time, opting them to fall down like spazes, half the time they just fall down without being hit at all).

The little kids really do begin to get on your nerves when they enter a scene. How they are able to go to so many places is a mystery, "the kids must have level five security clearance" Mike remarks. They just get in the way of everything, jut as much as the kids in Prince of Space.

The effects are pretty bad: we get to see coal powered space ships, a car which is doubling as a space ship.

This movie is just bad. The only way it is enjoyable is when you see the MST3K version, which if you have not seen it i suggest you should. I would also recommend the episode Prince of Space, though this one tends to drag.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
silly, childish, rip-off. made me want to vomit afterwards!, 14 October 2004

How did this movie get by with stealing all the space footage from Battlestar galactica? This is the first question which popped into my mind when the first shots of the ship hit the little TV screen. I was just in dumbfounded at the miss use of the footage, none of it really matched up with the interior of the ship.

onto the interior: we get to see lots of footage of people running around in a warehouse, or powerplant. all seem to fit, but not along with the movie as well. It just looks so stupid and lame that it makes you wonder if the film makers thought we(the audience) wouldn't notice the blatant change, BUT WE DID!

there are many shots of people riding around in poor looking golf carts. They -- at times -- look like bumper cars. The way they are being drivin really implies this.

the acting is terrible, though the lead male character screaming like a girl through-out the movie really makes it worth while.

the only way this movie is viewable is by watching the mst3k version. I do not wish to recommend the uncut version to anyone. please do not try to find the uncut version of this movie. It's just too horrible.

8 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
horrible thing to view but very funny mst3k!!!!, 13 October 2004

this movie might almost be unwatchable had it not been on MST3K. the movie is soo bad that it's good.

now let's run the numbers with the things wrong:

1) Story: bad, horrible, lack-there-of, lame. take your pick. This movie's story really never takes the time to play itself out, it really consists of one, long flashback told by one of the lead characters, and boy is it a long flashback. Maybe one of the longest in film history! We get a little something about six semi-hot women(well hot for the 70's) who are fed up with drugs being pushed to kids and decide to do something about it. What do they do? They decide they are going to blow up one small drug producing building and that is the end of drugs everywhere. Sadly this movie fails to grasp the concept that there is more then one building to destroy, but they only destroy the one and that's it. as crow says it "So they just destroyed all the drugs in the world?" Which pretty much sums up all their actions in a nutshell.

2) the acting is not so up to par. No one really turns in a decent roll in the movie, except Jack Pallance, and why he was in this movie is a good question. Possible summing it up with another thing that crow says, "Jack's down years". The rest of the characters stumble through their dialogue and try to seem convincing, but it's just not possible with this movie(and I use this term lightly - it's more like a romp through the bowls of bad cinema).

Nothing much else can be said about this bad movie, except that it made for one good episode of MST3K. Probably one of my favorites next to Puma Man, Jack Frost, and a few others.

I would only recommend this movie if you are viewing the mst3k version. You are guaranteed the laugh through the episode.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
no way the film makers were serious when they made this!, 11 October 2004

there is nothing remotely serious about this movie. Everything is unintentionally funny, no matter where you look at this movie.

the acting is nowhere near decent through the whole movie. The little dog is pretty much the only good actor in the movie. Why? Because it has no dialogue to read and not much to do. There is really no real emotion shown from the actors at all. They all seem like walking corpses with their actions and their dialogue. Simply put - it's very cardboard acting!

The story for "manos" is completely ridiculous and pretty much makes no sense at all. It never takes the time to really play itself out through the movie. We get a little something about a family are on vacation and take a way wrong turn and end up at this little house! Though it takes them about fifteen minutes to reach the house. This time is spent showing the family driving through the country side and some really odd music which accompanies them.

Once they reach the house, the story really seems to get even slower. It looks as if the film makers needed to resort to throwing in irrelevant scenes to make up for blank spaces of time. Two good examples are the scenes involving the two teen lovers in car kissing, I cop comes to break it up. Giving us some of the goofiest dialogue in film history. Strange things begin to happen that have nothing to do with the movie. These things happen way more then once through the movie and really leave you thinking "the film makers didn't have a clue of what they were doing."

I don't really want to recommend this movie to anyone, if you can find it without the mst3k commentary. this does make for one good Joel episode though.

Alien (1979)
a sure classic for any who view this movie!!!!, 10 October 2004

This movie can instantly be called a classic. While the world was busy enjoying the lovable, cuddly E.T. This movie was released. This movie definitely sent shock waves through the bouls of film making, and still gets audiences attention today.

Ridley Scott really outdid himself with this movie, rivaled only(in my opinion) by the job he did on Hannibal. The camera work is fantastic, The special effects are surprisingly good for a movie from the late 70's, the acting is top notch most notably from Siqourney Weaver as Lt. Ellen Ripley.

Not much else can be said about this movie classic.

I would strongly recommend this movie to any who have not yet viewed it. If you are looking for thrills, look no further then ALIEN.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
far too much information, too fast!, 4 October 2004

This movie is very well done. The story is simple, filled with lots of action and people getting hurt. Only problem I have with the movie is it is too much information, too fast. it just seems like they tried to cramb as much story as they could into 1 hour 25 minutes. At certain parts the story skips a couple of days, maybe even months.

It is filled with losts of action, though sometime it grows violent and teeters on the edge of an R rating, but none-the-less this is a cool movie.

The movie does tend to go overboard when Chris(The Rock) becomes sheriff, he begins to go on a crooked cop rampage. Firing all of the deputies and hiring his friends. It's not that I don't think it's cool, it's just a little unbelievable.

The movie is enjoyable though. If you don't like long movies, and lots of character back story, you will love this movie.

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