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Shuang tong (2002)
This is an amazing film. *minor spoilers*
Gory, depressing and goddamn confusing at times, but it had the power of keeping me balanced on the edge of my seat for about seventy per cent of it.
Seriously creepy stuff.
As a warning though, there is nothing uplifting, hopeful, happy or optimistic in this film, so NOT something to watch if you like happy, resolved endings or need an emotional boost. It's more something to watch when you want your brains racked.
Oh yes, it's an 18 due to a highly graphic fight between police and a cult. Numerous limbs and heads go flying. You have been warned.
***** for suspense *** for comprehensibility and * for optimism
The Jungle Book 2 (2003)
Once again, new Disney reel out a sequel to a timeless classic that is not only flimsy, inconsistent rubbish, but comes dangerously close to trashing the first one beyond redemption as well.
It is understandable that the actors who voiced the original, rich characters from Kipling's timeless tale could not be recalled, seeing as the film is a good many decades old, but the change in Baloo's voice spoilt the character, making him change from a easy going, fun loving bear to one who seems to have questionable substances flowing through his dopey veins. Also, Shere Khan is not Shere Khan without Geoge Sanders purring away behind him.
As with all Disney sequels, this film contains a severely annoying character who is loud, states the obvious, has a voice that grates through your bones, and stubbornly refuses to leave the screen. It was there as the batty old housekeeper in Pocohontas 2, the parrot in 102 dalmatians, and this time, takes the from of a brattish, babbling child, who you immediately and fervently wish to stay firmly in their cot rather than tailing the main characters around with their irritating quips and songs.
Overall, a highly appalling piece of animation. Disney, LEAVE THE CLASSICS ALONE!
The Return of the Native (1994)
This film is an almost complete waste of time. I am studying the book for my English A level, and the film only contributes in one way, and that's getting across that the whole scenario is set in a rural idyll. The acting is wooden, the filmography is laughable, and the so called dramatic scenes in the film had the majority of my class (including me) snickering into their texts. The book, although not my favourite literary choice, is miles better than the film is, and the sound track is just plain irritating. Don't watch this film unless you are looking for a timeless, quality storyline transformed into mindless, media waste.
Born Romantic (2000)
Boring and Dull
*Spoilers may be contained in this comment*
Okay, I admit it, I only watched this film because it was the only thing in the TV pages of a certain magazine that was a film, and not on SKY telly. That's the only reason I bothered staying up until 11:30pm to watch it. I have to admit, the knowledge that Jane Horrocks and Jimmi Mistry were in it made me think that it should be good, seeing as both these actors have been in some of the funniest things I've seen, but in truth, the whole film was just a stream of drivel.
It could have been good, if they had focussed on just one couple, instead of on all three, also, it just wasn't funny. The funniest bits were the fleabag Eddie (Jimi Mistry) trying to rob his girlfriend, (by accident) a clued up cab driver, and an innocent bystander, and the bit where an ashtray falls off a table. That's how dull this movie is. Oh, and when Fergus still has his socks on in bed, that made me giggle a bit. Only watch this if you suffer from insomnia.
Buddy Boy (1999)
Alright if you've got nothing better to do
Warning, this has a few spoilers to do with the plot.
It was about eleven o'clock at night, and me and my parents were watching T.V, when Buddy Boy came on. I was trying to evade being sent to bed, so feigned interest for the rather boring first ten to fifteen minutes, showing the routine of the main characters life. However, it begins to get rather interesting after that, it's a film where you sit on the edge of your seat, riveted watching the screen, just waiting for Frances to a.Kill someone, b.Go mad, or c.Shout a lot. Aidan Gillen is incredibly good as the shy, reclusive Frances. There are a few plot holes in the story, like how many parties Frances's girlfriend appears to have. The ending to this film is a classic, and the whole movie has a dark, spooky atmosphere, and certainly leaves you with a lot to think about. I still don't understand all that business with that little girl he sees in the photograph. What's all that about?
I, personally, LOVE the Harry Potter books, and for me, this film was rather a disappointment.
At first, Quidditch. Yes, I know it's a rather important part in the book, and I know it's a reason for the special effects people to up their paycheques, but please, IT IS NOT WORTH FORSAKING THE STORYLINE FOR TWENTY MINUTES OF WATCHING DANIEL RADCLIFFE ON A BROOM CHASING A BALL!!!!!!!!! It's infuriating! I'd hate to be someone who didn't read the book and stupidly decided to watch the film anyway, they wouldn't have had a clue what was going on. I love the way how the director claims there wasn't enough time for the rest of the movie, when there is clearly enough time to stick in half an hour of Quidditch. It would be worth it if it was well done, and had just a vague similarity to the book, but it doesn't. The director goes off on some little fantasy of pointless loop-the-loops, upside down flying, and other stupid stunts that nobody really cares about.
The actors, on the other hand, are first class, even the kids, Rupert Grint is hilarious as Ron Weasly,however, call me critical, but somebody should really have put that script through the shredder and started from scratch, because it's appalling. It's as wooden and flat as a door, and has about as much emotion as wet mop. The music has some good bits, but most of it is at the wrong time, and in the wrong place.
However, if you're feeling particularly shallow minded, are a fan of sports, don't give a hoot about plot lines and need to watch something light hearted with a few good laughs, then you should find this a very enjoyable film.
My Wife and Kids (2001)
You need to be one, or all of these three things to watch this show without going insane.
B) Supposed to be doing revision
If your more than one of these, this show may actually be enjoyable. I admit, the wife is a very original character, but it is just a spin off, less enjoyable copy of other sit coms that I have seen one hundred times before, and, depending on the episode, nine times out of ten, it's not funny.
I admit, the last episode I watched really had me laughing, but that's the first time I've ever laughed at this show. Occasionally, I do find myself giggling or groaning at some of the more cheesy lines, but believe me, it's rare. The small girl is vaguely annoying, more because of her lines than the acting, and some of the lines the dad comes out with. EEEEEEEEEK!
Somebody slap the director!
Warning: This may contain Spoilers
I have mixed feelings about this movie, but I do know one thing. Chris Columbus likes his Quidditch waaaaaaay too much. Apart from that, (and the script, it's hardly improved from the last film) the film is pretty good. I made the mistake of using it as a book substitute while re-reading the series, as I had copies of all the others at hand, but not this one, and we had it on video, so I decided to watch the film instead of reading the book.
BIG mistake. The film was switched off in disgust before Gilderoy Lockhart's first lesson. It made me realize, compared to the books, the films are as flat as steam rollered pancake.
The acting is still good, despite the miserable script. The anonymous children making comments, and pointing out back characters make me want to puke, and I cringe every time it happens, also, the bit with Hermione saving the day from the pixies, slightly amusing, but why didn't she just do that in the first place? Hermione's good, but not that good. (Yet)
I'm glad Chris Columbus has packed in the directing, because so far, all I've seen him do is sacrifice valuable plot pieces to squeeze in intricate Quidditch scene's that never happened. I mean, that bit under the stadium chasing the snitch, it was ridiculous. The whole tension build up, it's pointless, we've seen it all before, change the record! Going for the shorter, snappier ending to the match that happens in the book would have made the film more effective in my point of view. Also, do you know what happens when that number of supports are smashed to pieces? The stadium falls down!
Finally! A film with only ten minutes or so of Quidditch! It's a miracle. (Spoilers...I think)
The new Dumbledore is far, far, far, more like the one than I imagined, the kids acting was fab, better than usual, a lot of people are slating Harry, but you have to admit, that's easily the hardest role to play.
Timothy Spall was fantastic as the repulsive, creeping, grovelling Scabbers/Peter Pettigrew, David Thewlis is undoubtedly a good actor, but I found him a bit damp and weedy for the part of the werewolf Lupin, although he pulled the role off very well. Gary Oldman acted out Siruis' part magically, but has nobody heard of hair straighteners and black hairdye? One of his main features is matted, straight, BLACK hair. Since when did it become wavy and light brown? Also, the costume designer must have run out of ideas, because, a stripy convicts outfit and a trench coat? Uh-uh. Not a good Sirius look. It must be someone's idea of a bad joke.
The Hippogriff and Werewolf were amazing. Buckbeak could have almost stepped out of the screen, and the werewolf was completely original, though the transformation looked rather painful and had quite a few sickening crunches in it. The story line was, for once, good, and while the script had a couple of let downs (Harry and Lupin on a bridge somewhere, discussing Harry's parents) it maintained a rather interesting, snappy standard. The plot line is a miracle. It fits together perfectly, taking just the right elements and fiddling with them slightly to avoid hassle, time-wasting and pointless bits without skipping huge chunks of the story.
Well worth watching, far scarier than the other two put together, and I have to admit, if I was the parent of a young child who had loved the first two, I would be slightly annoyed at the fact that there was no warning about just how spooky those dementors were.