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The Terminator franchise is turning in its grave.
Doesn't James Cameron's masterpiece, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, have a perfect ending? John, Sarah, and the Terminator manage to prevent Judgment Day by destroying Cyberdyne Systems and melting all the evidence that a Terminator ever existed. There's no way humanity will have to suffer through this war, right? WRONG! According to the professional idiots at Hollywood, Judgment Day is inevitable. Because without Judgment Day, there can be no sequels.
Well, the T-101 is back to promote his campaign for Governor! And the memorable characters you fell in love with from the previous installments are ! Well, Sarah Connor's dead. Damn, that's a disappointment. Well, at least we've got Edward Furlong and no, wait. He's not in it. They replaced him with Nick Stahl. Well, Earl Boen's back as Dr. Peter Silberman! Funny I didn't remember him being in the third one. Maybe I should pay better attention.
Well, anyway, the machines decide it'd be a great idea to make the next Terminator model an attractive blonde. And they also apparently decide to ditch the numbers in favor of the much flashier T-X. You know, it sounds cooler, because the machines certainly care! I was infuriated at the lack of creativity in "Judgment Day is inevitable." Shouldn't you give an explanation as to HOW the exact same thing can be picked up if there's nothing any scientists can start from and the man who created the machines in the first place sacrificed himself to MAKE SURE his research never led to anything? Oh, wait. That would take away valuable explosion time. How silly of me.
Speaking of that, there's hardly any action in this movie. Hardly any GOOD action, anyway. There's a pretty cool chase scene in which the Terminator hangs on to a crane driven by the T-X. There's also a scene in which the Terminator blows away the police, but it's effectively ruined by the "Human Casualties: 0" thing. An obvious and pathetic attempt to make the audience believe this takes place in the Terminator storyline.
As for story well, if you ignore the numerous plot holes involving John Connor's age and the completely unrealistic idea of Judgment Day going off exactly as before, only later the story still sucks. The only interesting plot twist is the idea that the Terminator killed John Connor in the future. Kinda chills you when you hear that, but then you're immediately shaken out of the mood by Nick Stahl's incessant whining.
It ends abruptly and unsatisfyingly. It starts off good with the Terminator being controlled by the T-X. John Connor and his newfound love Kate Brewster rush frantically to prevent Judgment Day a second time, and you get a sense that it's going to be an exciting last- minute rescue of the human race. Unfortunately, the movie decides to spit in your face and set off Judgment Day anyway. Wow the entire point of Terminator 2, and also the main character's goal (apart from being a more annoying son-of-a-bitch than Anakin Skywalker, which was a huge accomplishment on his part) is reduced to nothing. No fate? Screw that, it's inevitable!
Terminator 1 was sad because Kyle dies at the end. Terminator 2 was sad because Arnold dies at the end. Terminator 3 is sad because the Termintor series dies at the beginning.
AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)
Where's the Alien vs. Predator part?
As we all know, Alien is one of the greatest Sci-Fi/Horror films ever to make it to the big screen, if not THE greatest. Its sequel, Aliens, turns the original classic into a roller- coaster ride that has became a classic in itself. Also a masterpiece, Predator has won a special place in my heart for the ingenuity of its antagonist, the Predator. In the sequel, you see the skulls of all sorts of other alien species the Predator has hunted, one of which happens to be the Alien. You're confronted with a wonderful idea: What if a movie was made involving the Predators hunting the Aliens? What an amazing idea! There's no way you could screw it up! Naturally, Hollywood found a way to screw it up.
It begins with a group of annoying people collected from all around the world. They have all answered a call by Bishop? The android? Anyhow, Bishop has discovered a pyramid located deep underground in Antarctica, and he wants a team to drill down to it oh, crap, where have I heard this before?
Fortunately for us, the Predators have been watching the movie from space, and they'd rather go for a little swim in the Aliens' acid-blood than sit through an Armageddon remake. To spare the entire world the torture, they fire a beam from space and make a hole leading right to the pyramid. See, they're not such bad guys after all!
Ah, crap. We go back to that stupid expedition team. They're exploring the pyramid and debating what civilization built it. It's half an hour into the movie. I check the DVD box. Hmm Alien. Predator. Vs. Maybe they labeled it wrong? This is looking suspiciously like National Treasure.
Uh-oh! They have disturbed the pyramid and the Predators are going in after them! maybe this is Predator 3? The pyramid shifts and the Alien eggs appear. Finally, a little Alien! But where are the Predators fighting them? Maybe the title should be "Alien & Predator vs. Humans", or perhaps "Movie vs. Patience?"
Well, about ¾ of the way through, what remains of the expedition team (thankfully, only three) are running away from the Predator. One gets killed, and then the remaining two manage to escape when an Alien tackles the Predator. Whooo! Alien vs. Predator! Finally, it's over. Well, that didn't last very long.
After a few scenes which don't really matter, the female lead makes friends with the Predator. Wow, didn't see that coming. She kills the Alien rather than the Predator killing it. They go on to find the nest and reenact the ending of Aliens. The Predator dies, and a group of more Predators go on to reenact the ending of Predator 2. The end!