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Total Recall (2012/I)
249 out of 440 people found the following review useful:
Total Re-gurgitation, 4 August 2012

I wish I could recall the last two hours of my life. I really thought this movie would be fun - not good, mind you - but fun. A re-make of an old classic with an even bigger budget, better actors, and today's special effects would be worth 8 bucks. Plus Jessica Biel is sexy as hell. I was rewarded for my rare optimism by poor acting (seriously, the robots were more engaging); cliché dialogue (at one point, the villain actually said darkly, "Go handle it" to his henchman); and unpredictable plot-turns (the audience was kept guessing what the hell was going on). And these were all carefully scripted for the sole purpose of getting to the next action sequence - none of which had anything to do with the original movie. The only call-back to the original title was the appearance triple-titted hooker. No need to explain how the hell a regular human came to have these mammoth milk-monsters, because there are three of them. I should have walked out after they made their five-second cameo. I would have been happier.

One of my Favorites, 15 July 2012

I seldom find any films, especially those from the 80's, that I would classify as timeless. This film is a masterpiece. Based on Baroness Ozzie's classic about history's first masked hero, the story takes place during the bloody years of the French Revolution. The plot brilliantly unfolds with enough drama to keep the audience on the edge of their seat while Andrew's and McKellen's dry back-and-forth keeps the movie light-hearted. Seymour is breath-taking as always, although save one seen in the library, her interactions with Andrew's seem a little forced, especially when compared to the chemistry between Sir Ian McKellen and Anthony Andrews. Definitely one of my favorites.