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Horrorible_Horror_Films

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160 reviews in total 
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Rubber (2010)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Insane, 9 November 2012
8/10

I don't know what to write here. I just...don't. It is....just...

No Reason

Weirdest darn thing ever in the universe, but, somehow its a good movie? I have no idea how the heck to describe what I just saw.

Weird, insane, stupid, entertaining, baffling, Ridiculousness to the extreme.

What the holy heck was that???????????????????????? No reason no Reason No reason

I do not understand it, but you kind of do, sort of almost explained a little bit sometimes.

Also, good gore and a decent naked butt.

Eden Lake (2008)
13 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
I love blood and guts but I hated this stupid movie, 9 February 2012
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Unimaginably stupid.

For example, imagine, if you will, you and your significant other are chilling out by the shore of a small lake. A cadre of inbred stupid children who are CLEARLY f!cking crazy come up on you and start causing trouble. You, of course, do nothing until they torture and kill you both, purposefully passing up every possible opportunity to save yourself.

That is this movie. Everyone that likes this should be sentenced to live among the real life cesspool that is that area of Scotland. And I need 10 lines to describe this crap.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Oh bad 1993 Horror film, why do I like thee?, 22 September 2011
4/10

Yes, I'm only giving this a 4/10 but I still enjoyed watching this movie, and if crappy horror movies are your thing, then you'll have to watch this too.

Anyway, there really, really, really needed to be more boobs in this movie - there wasn't any! The main character girl appears kinda sexy in some scenes, but that's it. She wears the exact same clothes during a large portion of the movie too, its weird, it clearly was a few days in the film and she still is wearing the same clothes, idk wtf up wit dat.

Also, it would have been better with a lot more gore, there really isn't any until the end. And her voice gets really annoying. The worst part by far is the guy who played Russell, wow he sucks! His acting is by far the scariest thing in this movie.

You want a movie about race? Watch this and forget 'Crash' and 'The Help', 18 August 2011
9/10

Spike Lee gets a bad rap. Why? Because he's a black guy that can think critically. Therefore he pisses many people off, black and white. Usually that makes for some good art, this film is no exception.

Watch this movie if you want to watch a film that deals with 'deep meaning of racial issues.' Movies like "Crash" and "The Help" are disneyfied ignorant simplistic garbage. Watch some of Spike Lee's other films from this period too. This guy has it, white people that make Hollywood movies like "Crash" and "The Help" don't. Yes, you do actually have to be from the group that has been denigrated to describe that experience in an art form.

He doesn't brow beat you with "racism is bad" or "white people are evil" messages. He's just a good director, writer, thinker and storyteller that doesn't dumb anything down. Most, if not all, movies coming out of Hollywood that are trite garbage.

Brain Dead (2007)
1 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
No objective person wrote those other reviews, 24 March 2011
1/10

This movie is quite bad. You will know this upon watching the first few minutes, its obvious and has all the hallmarks of a stupid, poorly made, low-budget crapfest:

Awful acting, completely insipid, contrived dialogue, poor cinematography, etc.

This movie really sucks and IMDb has got to start getting rid of the idiots who makes these movies then come on here and write fake positive reviews.

The plot is something about a bunch of stupid people with really fake accents find a house and some zombie mutant thing comes after them...eventually, they first have to have the MOST INANE dialogue ever for most of the movie!

7 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
Why in the heck is this movie rated so high?!, 8 March 2011
2/10

This is one of the worst action movies I have ever seen in my life. I grew up watching Schwartznegger movies, so I know a horrible action movie when I see one.

These men, let me correct that, these senior citizens, need to retire and never make a movie ever again. It will be interesting to see what kind of non-human creatures Sly Stallone and Mickey Rorke turn into as time goes on. Its so obvious in this movie how messed up their bodies are in real life. People in their 60s are not suppsosed to look like they do. I don't even know how to describe them. Those two have cut and lifted and filled with plastic every inch of their skin, injected tons of steroids and HGH and god only knows what else. Their is no way they live another year or two - Oh, I'm sure they will be alive, or at least animate, but "alive" in a human sense? I seriously doubt it, at least when that happens Stallone will have an excuse for the ridiclious way he talks.

I have no idea what this movie was really about, and neither do any of the people who made or were in this movie.

Randy Couture - The only person involved with this movie who is worthy of respect. However, I respect Couture as a man, and as an athlete, but not as an actor. Can't say I blame him for wanting to make a good deal of money without getting punched in the face but HOLY JEBUS is he a bad actor! I started laughing before he even uttered a line of dialogue, just his facial expressions betrayed his downright awful "acting" skills.

8 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
A gem of a film, 16 August 2010
8/10

There are many reasons many people will not like this film. Most of these people are my fellow moronic Americans with the attention spans of gnats and the intelligence of rocks.

If you're looking for a horror movie and you pick this up, you probably wont like this, and that I can actually understand, it helps to know of this movie going in. Its different, doesn't have blood or gore, and very little nudity with no lame, constant music.

If you actually read books, understand that there was a decade called the 1970s and films looked different then (because no digital technology existed), and also understand there are people and places that exist outside of 'merica (in this case a French couple in a European cemetery), then you might be able to like this movie.

If you are a fan of Rollin, then you do need to see this too. If for not other reason than it breaks from the Rollin's tradition of vampires and 2 girls. The female lead is captivating and sexually charged, you can't keep your eyes off the babe, or the beautiful french words that flow from her mouth. But what is totally brilliant and masterfully done here is the whole movie pretty much just consists of 2 people in 1 location.

So, if you like MTV, don't bother with this movie.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
One of the most messed up things you will ever see - but still a good movie, 23 June 2010
8/10

First off, if you are an animal rights activist, vegetarian, vegan, member of PETA or anything like that, then you'll want to stay very far away from this and any movie made by Italian directors in the 70s with the world 'Cannibal' in the title. This is because this film, like just about every other 'Cannibal' 70s movie, shows actual animal deaths, and just crazy stuff in general with live animals.

Of course, things like a Boa constrictor killing and eating a monkey are actually natural, as animals (and native tribes) killing animals occur in nature, but don't tell that to a PETA member, their brain will explode from the logic.

Anyway, with the true horror that happens in this film, this is actually a good, well made movie. Considering they filmed the whole thing in the jungles of Sri Lanka is amazing - the cinematography is excellent, so it the camera work. I can't even imagine how difficult of a production this would have been. For as insane as a premise this, or any 'Cannibal' movie is, it was overall a really coherent plot, and was full of horror.

This is an excellent horror movie.

Really weird, odd funny Fulci movie, 18 June 2010
7/10

If you are a Fulci fan, then you do need to see this, for if nothing else to get a sense of the different types of movies he's done. Its definitely not as good as Fulci's best movies he's known for. However, if you're not a Fulci fan, this probably isn't your cup of tea. Unless you like sex comedies from the 1970s, then you also need to see this film.

As far as the sex goes its actually rather tame. The controversy when this was released really comes from the depiction of the Catholic Church. Its actually a pretty good commentary on religious suppression of normal human sexual feelings.

Beware, the dubbing is typically awful.

Suspiria (1977)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A masterpiece, 12 May 2010
9/10

This film is gorgeous, stunning, thrilling and (in some parts) stomach turning. A true masterwork, and a true horror film.

This movie is visual, a lot of meaning told through color, hue, and indirect lighting. The camera work is beautiful. ALL modern directors, especially every modern horror hack, should really try to freakin learn something from Argento.

The red signifies blood, of course. But not just death, but life as well, the dichotomy that is blood - as lifeforce and death when blood is lost from the body. At some points the main character is bathed in indirect green light - sickness. Yellow windows with red centers - the heart. Perhaps, that's just my thinking on some of the visuals in Suspiria.

The sets are stunning. Stunning. The death scenes truly horrorific, and the music is nothing short of superb.


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