3 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
Halloween II (2009)
A Glimpse Into Insanity? No, Stupidity.
24 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I watched this movie today on Netflix. Before I start I have to say that I am a big Michael Myers fan, and always have been. When Rob Zombie re-made Halloween I was very skeptical; but in the end thoroughly impressed. It was an extremely intelligent movie (for a horror movie anyways) delving into the madness of Myers rather than just an excuse to watch teenagers get killed. Going into Halloween II, I was very excited. And was left with a bitter taste in my mouth to remind me that yet another franchise has been ruined.

First off, there was a very uneasy balance of good and downright terrible acting. Malcolm McDowell gave an amazing performance (as he did in the first) and I truly cared for his character. The Sheriff was also a very well done character. But that is unfortunately where it ends. All 4 female leads were terribly done and unrealistically portrayed, enough said. Michael was OK, but its not like he really "acts" anyways.

The plot was decent (once again, for a horror movie which tend to have horrible scripts anyways) and until midway through the movie, I was enjoying myself. Then the twist came, if you can call it that. SPOILER ALERT: The main character is Myers' sister! Uh... wait a minute..? What? Aside from recycling a previous plot point and passing it off as a twist, the characters acting and reaction is simply abysmal. Here's how she acts: five minutes of repetitive F-bombs and tantrums, drives to her friends house, more F-bombs and tantrums, and then she blurts out "I WANNA GO PARTY!" And I swear I was ready to turn off the movie right there. However I persisted, simply out of the hope that she would get her comeuppance for being such an idiotic character. But no! Her friends die, random stripper dies, hillbillies die, Loomis (the only truly well done character) dies, and then the stupid blonde sister of a serial killer somehow miraculously kills Michael. Needless to say I was furious.

As if it wasn't bad enough there, the last 2-3 minutes of the movie is the audience being treated to another "twist" as she comes out of the ordeal wearing Myers mask, then cut to her in an insane asylum, smiling. It was more than I could take, and I'm seriously doubtful of any future Rob Zombie movies being good at all.

To me, it ruined the whole movie (as if it wasn't already bad enough.) Please Hollywood, do NOT let Rob Zombie get his hands on any other well established franchises, because it's clear that he doesn't know what he's doing with them. At all costs avoid this movie, watch the first R.Z. Halloween, it was good. This movie sucked.

I give it a 2 out of 10 simply because of Malcolm McDowell. We weren't treated to anything surprising or unique, and instead of us getting to delve into the mind of a madman as we did in the first, we get to delve into the mind of an idiot- which is passed off as insanity. Terrible, terrible movie.
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A Thousand Words (I) (2012)
A Quick Review Of "A Thousand Words" (No Spoilers)
29 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
First off, this movie was not what I expected. From the trailer I thought it looked great. After just watching it... I'd have to say it was only OK. The movie is about a man named Jack (Murphy) who is basically... a talker, he talks his way in and out of everything with the greatest of ease and is a successful businessman because of it. Then he gets cursed (more or less) with a magic tree that loses a leaf with every word Murphy speaks, and when the tree runs out, he will die. That's all in the trailer folks, no spoilers here. There were a lot of things that did shine about the movie, the effects were well done and simple; they didn't try and make the movie more exciting by throwing in an abundance CGI, which more and more movies seem to be doing now. Instead they kept it a very basic drama/comedy (yes the drama goes first.)

Eddie Murphy held the whole movie together. The only person that could have done this role other than him would be Jim Carrey because Murphys facial expressions basically make the movie. He played his character well. His assistant in the movie (Clark Duke) was an easy runner up for the best character and had most of the lines/comedy in the movie. The wife (Kerry Washington) really made me angry. She was a terrible character in the movie with no real saving qualities other than her being a dedicated mother. Unfortunately there were quite a few major pitfalls in the movie, (a few of the characters, a couple scenes) and one of them was that they did overly focus on the drama. Don't get me wrong, drama is OK, but when you pay to see an Eddie Murphy movie (no offense to Murphy) you expect to laugh. He can play the role, but he doesn't do it particularly well. The comedy in the movie was good, but a little too dispersed for my taste, if they made it rated R, and focused on comedy more, it could have been amazing, but oh well.

Overall I give this movie a 7, almost purely because of Eddie Murphys faces, and only a 7 because the wife in the movie really just ticked me off.
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Wanderlust (2012)
Wanderlust No Spoilers
28 June 2012
I had to write a review for this movie because I read some reviews on this site before I watched it and was really debating on whether I should even see it, but my girlfriend insisted. I thought from other people's reviews that this movie was going to SUCK.

However it didn't. Far from it, I actually found myself laughing the entire movie. Not a single actor, line or scene disappointed me. Yes there was some awkward moments and characters, but hell, what's a comedy without that? It didn't censor itself but rather embraced it's originality; and that's why I think I enjoyed it so much. So to anybody reading these reviews that are saying it's not funny, don't listen to them, give it a chance and I doubt you'll be disappointed. I sure as hell wasn't.

And to any male readers discouraged by the fact that there is a male nudist in the movie, you can breathe easy- it's a prosthetic.

All in all I'll give this movie a 9 because it's funny, original, kind of weird, and yet totally awesome.
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