Reviews

18 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
1/10
A truly abysmal movie
25 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
CONTAINS SPOILERS

What a horrible piece of garbage this movie was. I watched it last night and almost cringed immediately with the terrible line "the whip compels you to tell the truth"... Urgh...

So much is wrong with this movie, it's hard to begin. Superman is hardly in it, the villain is just pathetic, the acting is wooden and the effects are pathetic.

I knew going into the movie that there was going to be some funny looking CGI on Superman's upper lip. Little did I know that the CGI department was entirely made-up of kids doing their work-experience and rushing to get the project done in a hurry.

Actually, that sums up the whole movie - it felt rushed. There were bits missing to the story that were something that you could feel - it was tonally all-over-the-place, with Snyderisms and Wheldonisms not cohesively offsetting one another. Add to the fact that they introduced and then proceeded to play out the baddie in one movie (forgiving that Steppenwolfe was alluded to in a deleted scene in BvS), then you have a hodgepodge of a movie which undoes all the good work that Wonder Woman did earlier in the year. Yes, it really is that bad.

Aquaman IS a dude-bro. Cyborg is a lifeless, terrible character with an actor who can't act and Flash is all-over-the-place, a terrible take on the character who amounts to so little as to be almost inconsequential to the outcome of the film. The best moment in the entire films is when Superman nearly hits him in a fit of rage. I was praying for him to connect, as it would have turned the flash into a puff of fine red mist, which would have made this interminable film interesting for a second.

Indeed, a weak-point in the earlier movies, Superman doesn't get enough screen-time here, and he clearly outshines the other characters to a degree which renders them pretty much useless. Batman basically whinges about being old the whole time and nearly dies after one punch from the man-of-steel, which is actually pretty damn fair enough.

To say that they failed here would be an understatement. This movie is a catastrophic failure, on every conceivable level. There is no redeeming quality to it, it puts the superhero mega-team movies back by six years, it is so much less than the Avengers which came out in 2012, remember... That movie had a lot of back-story going into it, and its payoff was worth it. This movie is a rushed, waste of time and money.

I really don't like writing negative reviews, I loved the Punisher for its brutality and take on the character. That took some time to put together and it shows in a very binge-worthy story. This movie, however, is rushed to the point that every aspect of it feels shoehorned in. As for the flowers springing from the roots that have been spread by the Unity (stupid name by the way), they are clearly going to spread poisonous gas and kill everyone. What a dumb thing to do at the end...

I hated this movie. 1 star.
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The Punisher (2017– )
Brilliant
25 November 2017
It's been a long-time coming. The show finally arrived and what a show – exceeding all expectations I had for it, the quality was there in every frame in all 13 episodes. I never once felt like any of the characters was expendable or that there was slowness of any kind. This is a truly exceptional show, and I am privileged to have been able to see it.

For me, the ethical quandaries faced by each character was poignant, nuanced, in a show that revels in violence, this was not done without considering the questions behind such violence – what drives a person, such as Lewis, who for me was so very sad, played with the utmost sincerity, and believability – to commit such horrible things.This was only a small part of the series and yet was treated with great care and respect. The way the show was able to highlight the experience of veterans, including the difficulties adjusting to life after-battle, both with work and psychologically, was exemplary. The writers and directors knew their stuff. Oh, and Madani – wow, what a revelation!

I loved the way Billy Russo was played with such poise and deliberateness, offsetting the visceral violence of Frank and his other enemies with cunning and grace. Just so much to love in this show.

Micro, Frank's partner, is also another standout, someone who's devoted to the ideal of truth so much that he's willing to play the long- game, the dark-game that he does, until he can expose this truth.

And Frank – well, what can be said about him? Such a sorrowful anti- hero.

Something I tell my children is that heroes don't kill, that's what sets them apart from villains. However, here we are with a character who does good but does a lot of bad along the way. This is not something I'm going to easily be able to explain to my kids until they're much older. This is high value television and it is simply the best of the Marvel TV shows to come out – period.

The violence, and I must say I have a bit of a violence fetish, was top-notch. This was not something that anyone who winces at a bit of blood could handle…

Plus, the show just "looked great". Never once did it feel like watching a TV show.

Well done to all involved – this is art, this is fantastic, thank you.
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The IMDb Show (2017– )
10/10
Excellent show guys, keep it up
18 November 2017
Having been a long-time user of IMDb, it was great to see this show come out and having Kevin Smith on - perfect for the weekend the Justice League comes out, to discuss the movie.

You guys have nailed the format, it's not dense, easy to get into, and totally agree that Michael Keaton is the #1 Batman.
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Angry Boys (2011)
8/10
A nice little story
13 July 2011
Warning: Spoilers
I had heard nothing of Angry Boys in the lead up to it, and stumbled upon it by accident and have now seen all episodes to date, and I've got to say, it's a pretty good show.

I would argue that initially, the show starts out stumbling, as if it should be watched all-at-once, and it comes across as not quite as good as his other shows initially. From a technical standpoint, this is his most ambitious show so far, because the logistics and the editing to incorporate all these characters into the one narrative appears to have been very constricting. Nonetheless, I'd say that what is going on is the best Lilly's come up with yet.

I must say, the show is rarely funny. It is profane and offensive, but not funny in any "laugh-out-loud" moments save from the oddball one-offs that come and go in each episode.

The best thing about it is that it has heart. The characters all have a story and depth to them. There are reasons they're angry, and they run much deeper than can be seen on the surface if taken at face value. Indeed, this is where the strength of the show lies, not in the "in-your-face" nature of the spoken word, but in the despairing relationships these "angry boys" have with those in their lives. We have the surfer, Blake, who is in a state of arrested development, having never learned any form of responsibility for another human being; the quiet criminal, whose mother can't be bothered to visit him in prison and he is picked on by his peers; the skater whose overbearing mother has taken away his identity; the twin brothers whose relationship is threatened by abandonment and separation issues; and the upper-class black rapper, whose father thinks of him as a worthless human being.

It's these relationships that make these characters believable and make the show worth watching, albeit it is sad at times to see the way the characters talk to each other.

Cheers.
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10/10
A resplendent epic
25 March 2010
While I have been known to give movies 10/10 in the past, this is far and away the most deserved of perfection. My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade (hitherto MLP:TPP) is the definitive animation. Nay, the definitive motion picture experience. One does not so much watch the movie, as have it eek into one's very soul. The haunting score and the masterful artwork which has been put onto celluloid is without peer. The acting is... Phenomenal. I have never seen such a brilliant cast, and all unknowns! How this movie did not sweep the Academy Awards is a tragedy. It deserves so much acclaim. Its bold story, a thought-provoking analysis of the MLP mythos, encapsulates what storytelling should be. There have been many blockbusters released in the past few years, none of which have reached the level of depth that MLP:TPP has attained. I am crying now as I remember it. It just brought me to my barest emotions. Joy, terror, adulation and heartache, but with a finale which evoked pure and utter love. I love this movie. I can honestly attest that this is the best movie ever made. Thank you and good day.
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10/10
Freakin' Awesome!
12 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Just got out of an afternoon screening and I must say I was blown away. The whole movie just rocks. I'm an Edward Norton fan, I must admit, which helped to appreciate his performance, which was akin to the TV series and he plays a fugitive on the run with deftness.

The best thing about this movie was that it never once gets boring. The Hulk makes an appearance pretty soon after the opening credits (which gives us a backstory) and it's all action from then on. Don't get me wrong, there is story, but this is the ultimate in fan service, because it is a comic-book movie first and foremost and the action completely rocks.

There is a very long fight scene at the end which warrants mention because of its sheer awesomeness (it never gets dull). Much better than Transformers in my opinion because Michael Bay isn't directing it and putting his brand of overthetopness on it.

Tim Roth does an excellent job as Emil Blonsky/Abomination and the other actors (William Hurt and Liv Tyler) are adequate.

Go and see this movie for yourself. Along with Iron Man, this movie makes it Marvel's year. I won't say "Forget about the Dark Knight", because I'm sure that'll do Batman justice, but make sure you don't go past this re-imagining of The Incredible Hulk. It is simply awesome.
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BioShock (2007 Video Game)
10/10
Best PC game in recent years
13 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
**Possible SPOILERS** Bioshock is far and away my pick for best PC game of the past 5 or 6 years. I've played a LOT of games over the years, but none have managed the deft touch that Irrational have put on this masterpiece.

From the moment you step into Rapture, you are unwittingly forced into the decaying underwater dystopia, and must splice to survive.

By splicing, I mean genetically splicing your DNA with "enhancements" - what this does for your humanity is up to you, indeed, the choices we make - make us.

The greatest thing about Bioshock is that it's all about the journey. The destination is arbitrary - FMV endings are seen as being a waste of money, and after playing through this game I agree totally. I am glad that the endings were short and to the point, because the majority of the budget was put to much better use - namely in game design. I compare this to games which have very shiny and pretty endings, just pick one.

The aesthetics are second-to-none. It's rare that a game can make you feel so attached to the world when all you see is misery and chaos. I really felt for the people of rapture who'd sacrificed so much for personal power. Even listening to them gibbering away their lingering humanity or squabbling amongst one another was a perverse treat prior to their inevitable annihilation at my hand.

Everything in the gameworld has meaning. Wonder why they're Vita Chambers everywhere and what purpose they serve (other than regeneration) - well, that's answered in the second last Act of the game. While such design features are regarded by many to make the game too easy - again, I ask is it really the destination or the journey that matters when it comes to a masterpiece of game design? The ending will always be the same, but no fight in the game will be the same, unlike other shooters (Half-Life 2, I'm looking squarely at you). Even the scripted parts of Bioshock don't regard the player as an on-rails observer, and you will soon wrench control back, so be patient.

This is all about action. At the end of the day, that's what the design has achieved. By allowing you to rejoin the fight without having to revert to a quicksave allows the pacing to stay in top-gear 100% of the time, though if you play like me, you'll go through first aid kits like cotton candy anyways, instead of just dying over-and-over-and-over like people say you can do... It may even be possible to finish the game with just a wrench in this fashion... Yes, you probably can, but that's not what I'd call fun.

The dynamic random spawn points for enemies also means you have to keep on your toes, as the Gatherers, Protectors and Splicers wander the corridors of Rapture and can be found pretty much anywhere you are...

What makes this game so brilliant is that no two gunfights are the same, and there is no motivation to try one strategy more than another, as the game is so well-balanced that you can adjust on the fly and make each strategy work for you. Though action-focused, it remains very tactical - if you want it to be.

Although this review is convoluted, all I can say was that Rapture was so enthralling, that I went back again and again after I'd finished and played through completely differently.

Keep in mind that the difficulty jump from Medium to Hard is like going from walking up a hill to climbing Mount Everest.

The great thing is, whether you choose to let it be hard is up to you...

That's what this game is about - choice.

"A man chooses..."
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10/10
Absolutely loved it...
20 January 2007
I saw this on television tonight and it was fantastic. Funny, in the mould of Lock Stock and Snatch, it was a very bloody comedy which succeeded at what it set out to do.

It won't win too many awards, but the acting was above par with most Australian movies, which usually blow thanks to appearances of "veteran" actors like the arrogant Bill Hunter, the douchebag Michael Caton and that halfwit Mick Molloy, none of which appear in this, thank God. Instead, it's a cast of people I've never or rarely seen, with the exception of that old bat from the worst medical drama on TV - All Saints. Her performance is, expectedly, the weakest of the lot, but it's a brief one which is made up for by the quick, snappy dialogue of the other characters. The only thing they could have improved on in this aspect was casting Sigrid Thornton into any role in the film, as I think she's gorgeous, but she doesn't make an appearance.

It's rather profane, which I think is a good thing for this kind of comedy. It has some really cool death scenes which, again, are funny, and the way the story plays out - with each part of the chronology shown from 2 perspectives, is a really interesting way of storytelling, and it's done well here.

I look forward to getting a copy on DVD. The movie's worthy of 8 stars. It's a great flick, I fink!
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Cool as Ice (1991)
1/10
It doesn't get any better than this
20 January 2007
The most horrible, yet thoroughly entertaining movie I've seen in a year. I was lucky enough to procure a copy, and I wasn't disappointed with how terribly funny it was.

This is not Rebel Without A Cause. This is "Ego Show for Vanilla Ice". There are so many things wrong with this movie, it's almost impossible to list. Yes, it's a bad movie, but that's because it TRIES to be good. If it had been a comedy, it would have failed. It works only because it's all ironic.

The movie turns out to be so unintentionally funny as a result of Ice's inability to grasp Kindergarten level English, and the horribly serious performances by everyone around him. You'll crack up when they edit one scene so that he's hitting a guy with a spinning back-fist again and again and again, and the damn guy won't fall. Hilarious.

These are the kinds of movies you can enjoy with friends. Rap from the 80s, and the way Vanilla Ice dances to his own lyrics, and his ridiculous posse. Top class stuff.

Good times, good times... Laughing with friends...
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Bad Boys II (2003)
1/10
Atrocious. The worst movie I've seen - ever.
17 January 2007
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was absolutely terrible.

Why? Well, first, let me say it was poorly written. It felt like it went for five hours, and when I thought it was over, somehow, the incompetent police let the bad guys escape with the girl. These are the same group of police who trashed Miami and gunned down many, many people on several occasions and still had their jobs at the end of the day. This is not fun. This is stupid.

The use of the "f" word is usually to ADD to a script, it's not half of the entire script. There are too many skits which aren't FUNNY. Laughing at a female cadaver isn't funny. It merely highlights the sloppy script.

Implausibility is the name of the day here - nothing makes any sense. There is no logic. The film has a strong smell of "anti-drug" propaganda which pervades it like a hooker's funk. This foul stench goes through every aspect of the film. They even repeat jokes which weren't funny the first time. So you can't remember the words to "Bad Boys" (the song), so what? Go and make real movies, you punks.

Michael Bay likes to use really fast camera shots to make the action more interesting than it is. It doesn't work. Will Smith's character is extremely arrogant, and he seriously needs some acting lessons by the way he plays his part, it looks like he ad-libs the script and knocks over props, whereas Lawrence's character has had enough (probably of the franchise) and wants out. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be a part of this disaster.

Action movies do not come any more costly than this movie - it went into incredible special effects which were just for eye candy and were mind-numbingly dull. Over the top, BORING car-chase scenes which feel like they take up hours of your time will ruin your day. The gun-fights are ludicrous - the heroes (not one of the main characters, mind you) will get shot once in the leg or something while all the bad-guys get nailed.

Haven't we seen this before? Oh, yes, in every single other action film. The movie is a complete rip-off of every other better action movie ever made (name one). Bay has even re-used some of the terrible story in The Island, which, for my money, was MILES ahead of this garbage. Bad Boys 2 is utterly derivative and all traces of it should be wiped from our history. Just think - in millions of years, if somebody finds this planet and find traces of this movie, they'll think that we humans never amounted to anything but mindless violence and poor dialogue and a movie that should've ended half an hour before it did.

This bloody movie has reignited my anger disorder. I hate it more than words can describe.

To sum up - do NOT watch this film if you have ANY self-respect. It is a blemish, not only on films, but on society as a whole. HORRIBLE. -10/10 stars - worse than ANYTHING ELSE - EVER. Having one's fingernails removed with pliers is like a party game compared to this rubbish. Unfortunately, I have to rate it 1 on this site, as it doesn't have negative numbers in its rating scale.
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Troll 2 (1990)
1/10
Abysmally great...
2 August 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Movies do not get any worse than Troll 2. For starters, this is nothing to do with the original, which, in comparison, is the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE. Troll 2 is about some stupid kid and his ridiculous family that go to some dopey looking town with a population of 26 and they promptly get disemboweled by the local population... I WISH.

What really happens is rather subject to one's state of mind when watching the film.

When I watched it, it was painful to sit through. Of course, it left an indelible stain on my memory. Kinda like a cattle brand on my brain. These kinds of movies, once watched, will never leave you. They haunt you to your grave.

Anyway, the story - good triumphs over evil, thanks to a baloney sandwich and a bunch of people touching a rock (?) That's right. Even writing it now it seems ridiculous, but imagine actually allowing this movie to get made? That's the difficult part to understand. Pornos have better production values, sets, actors and scripts, for that matter. The story was as ridiculous as any get and the lines are memorable for their poor execution and their utter lack of impact. Take this gem from the annoying Joshua: "Nilbog! It's goblin spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!" Like we didn't see that one coming you little so and so...

I will give this movie a terrible rating, 1 out of 10, but I do suggest people watch movies like this. That way, we can start to really appreciate better movies, like Plan 9 from Outer Space. The reason I think it's so abysmal and so great can be summed up by the looks on Creedence's face as she's taunting her captives... Or the overacting by Joshua and the underacting by his mother. The movie is like a 5 car-pile up, you know it's bad, but you don't want to turn away, even if there are little bits and pieces of people strewn across the road, and the screams of the children trapped in the cars will haunt you to the day you die...

Terrible. Terrible. Watch it.
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1/10
Terrible.
19 April 2006
This movie is not so bad, it's good. It was a pain to sit through, and I hate it. I cannot fathom why it's held with such high regards given its mediocrity. It has nothing going for it, and it's not funny because it's bad - it's a shame, because I was hoping it would be funny. The movie's special effects were a sham, put together in a matter of minutes by the looks of them. I don't care what the budget was or whether Bela Lugosi died in the middle of filming and they had to use stock footage and a stand-in, it's just plain stupid.

This movie helped me appreciate the better movies - namely every other movie I've seen. It was difficult to watch the whole thing, waiting for the next splicing of stock footage or some ridiculous fool covering his face with a cape...

I can't be bothered saying any more about this movie, it was a waste of time to watch and I can't recommend it to anyone.

Avoid like the plague.
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Memento (2000)
10/10
Great thriller that gets better every time it's watched...
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
It's not the ending that twists in this movie, but the outset itself is a feint within a feint within a feint - leading the viewer along the path to vengeance from the outset of the action - it's a unique vision, but the characters and director do it great justice. Christopher Nolan is just brilliant in the way he paces this movie, the scene transitions mean that the audience is up-to-date with the story as it goes, and the ending, the fascinating climax of what and why help drive this story into "classic" status.

I watched this movie recently on the advice of others, and I found that it was more than they had said it was - I'm very critical of most movies, and have found this to be right up in my top ten.

Accordingly, I'm giving it 10 out of 10. I recommend it to ANYONE. Again, however, if you watch it and don't like it, that's too bad.

Cheers!
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Seven Samurai (1954)
10/10
This is a fine movie for all time...
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Movie watching doesn't get much better than this... This movie is an absolute masterpiece - it is such a wonderful movie that it will be hard to imagine that 200 minutes have passed, as the events in it are so logically placed and the story told in such a way that following it is a pleasure rather than a chore. Few movies can achieve this feat alone - holding concentration of an audience for more than microseconds these days often requires a massive pyrotechnics budget...

Akira Kurosawa was a genius, and even to this day and is inspiring many to follow in his footsteps...

This movie is one that people who enjoy engrossing cinema will appreciate - action fans can look elsewhere, as can those fools who believe a movie is an opportunity to "switch-off" and stop thinking. Movies should be an opportunity to see life through someone else's life and their time - or in the case of this movie, many lives and one single time...

Seeing bandits being led to their deaths is reason enough to watch this - appreciating the characters is another. The honour of the fight, the loyalty to themselves and the learned loyalty to others, and the beautiful, heart wrenching ending... This movie is exceptional in every way.

Thank you, Akira Kurosawa, you will be missed, but your inspiration and vision will remain for the ages...

Cheers!
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10/10
Classic horror that is not made any more...
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This movie has one of the greatest twists I've ever seen at the end, and also what makes it so great to watch with people who've not seen it before, particularly if they haven't been exposed to Romero's other zombie films. The story itself is fairly light, but remains the creepiest of the lot. Given, it's actors are mostly horrible, Ben being the noticeable exception, and one of the reasons the movie is so watchable...

Also, due to it having such an ambiguous premise, many still wonder how and why the dead came to rise and feast upon the living - it poses many questions... Answers few.

Indeed, every time I watch it, I come to a different conclusion as to what caused it...

This movie ages very well, and holds its own to today's low budget horror movies. Sure, as the budgets have increased, and the technology has, it's been easier to create better movies... BUT, more than thirty years on, and this movie is still standing head and shoulders above most. I put it down to Johnny ("They're coming to get you Barbara!") and the zombie from the cemetery - that guy is particularly creepy.

I'm showing this to my kids on their fifth birthday. It's a good movie to use to keep them in line until they're ready to be kicked out of home - just threaten them with it - if they decide to wander the streets at night or disobey you, zombies might eat them or turn their car over and chase them for miles...

10 out of 10. A classic. Get it, watch it, love it. If you don't, too bad.

*** NOTE *** Don't watch the 25th anniversary edition, however, as it ruins the musical score and adds unnecessary and stupid scenes, and a dumb ending that ruins the movie. If it were watched with that version, I'd change the score to about 2/10. It really cheapens it, tries plot development and fails, and should be avoided like the plague.

CHEERS!
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10/10
Great for fans, gory for fans of the genre...
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Tom Savini is a God. This movie proves it. The Wizard of Gore makes his hallmark stomach churning SFX sequence at the end which make the seemingly long movie infinitely watchable. There's not really a great deal of story in this, the third in Romero's zombie sequence, but for what it's worth, it is carried out in such a way that if such a phenomenon had occurred, one could believe the actors in their roles. Paranoid leaders, megalomaniacal, crazy, even headed, rational and easy-going characters fill out the story, each achieving their purpose...

It's easy to write this off as Romero's weak point, but when one considers who is who and what they do, it really comes into its own. Sarah and Rhodes argue on different ideological grounds - Sarah hopes to end the zombie problem if given time, while Rhodes is losing grip, having been given command of the now skeleton crew following the death of his superior.

The ancillary characters play their parts well, each supporting the story like most dramas would, but this is not a drama. It could also be seen as a look at the corruption caused by power and how it culminates in an inability to function, but ultimately it's an opportunity for Tom Savini to orchestrate a bloody orgy at the end where the evil gets its comeuppance, and the zombie horde triumphs and dines in style! 10 out of 10 - not the greatest story-wise for Romero, but it has so much gore and style that it deserves classic status!

Cheers!
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10/10
A wonderful movie that ages well.
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I would like to think this is the most watchable of Romero's movies, given the impressive social commentary that is still pertinent to this day - we are all still zombies living lives wrapped in plastic and prosperity (well, the western world is...) It doesn't take into account today's poor, but let's consider them as being the living dead, condemned to wander aimlessly with no chance for improvement or redemption...

Or, one could look at this as a fun movie that has some great gore and funny goofs throughout, but either way, it's a brilliant movie.

For me, this is a movie that can be watched no matter what one's mood is, and appreciated for what can be done with a few gallons of fake blood and entrails, and a director who knows what he wants to achieve and does so.

10 out of 10, because few have met the expectations I've had for horror movies, and this is one of those few. I don't like to be treated like an idiot, I like a message, and I like this message. Watch it if you haven't already, and if it's been a while, dust it off and watch it again, it'll make you appreciate how good we've got it (sitting on our computers in lives of comparable prosperity).

Cheers.
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BloodRayne (2005)
1/10
Bloodrayne made my blood boil...
11 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was drivel. It is the perfect example of how not to make a movie. Given it's like watching a rehash of Dracula with a female lead, a hard to follow plot and even harder to believe acting... I could not believe these people thought they were acting. I wouldn't cast them in a kindergarten Christmas play...

It is bloody, if that could be considered a spoiler, but I think that calling it runny diarrhea is a better spoiler.

The movie itself will spoil a good time that could be spent booting the neighbours' kids in the guts. In fact, it made me do just that.

I'm not a fan of the game, I don't have to be to hate this. I know what I like and it's not this. Ben Kingsley should be ashamed of himself, and the other actors should know better, save for Will Sanderson (who appears to be a Boll whore - starring in all of his movies since Blackwoods).

This movie is one of the few movies being made today that hearkens back to the glory days of the 50s and 60s B-movies - movies that made the audience shriek for all the wrong reasons and cringe at the lameness of them. For that, I give it one star, since it's a brave move by Boll to keep doing it, despite threats on his life. Idiot.
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