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The Expendables 2 (2012)
Quote from Billy Madison " We are all dumber for having heard it!"
The first thing that strikes me about this movie is, why does it look SO bad? Is it the feel or style they are going for? I dunno, it just looks bad. Maybe they are trying to Vaseline screen the aging stars, who are all in great shape by the way, or are they saving on film? Do they even use film anymore? SPOILER ALERT Virtually every action scene here is over the top and totally unbelievable except for a short scene with Jet Li. The initial escape scene makes NO SENSE! Sly gets shot while going down a seemingly infinite zip line? Statham's got his back so he stays behind while they are surround and the rest of the team continues the escape on the water high speed style. Out of nowhere Sly and Jason are rescued by fledgling team member snipers them out of the situation. Sly grunts "Time for plan b" back to the water chase. Jet skis, for no apparent reason appear from nowhere and the team abandons the boat. Just when all is lost, Stallone and Statham zoom overhead in the plane they arrived in. How is this plan b? Wouldn't the boats and jet ski's be plan b. Jet skis shoot into the ramp of the plane as the plane struggles get get enough lift to take off before they crash into a huge damn. Hey, since we are having trouble gaining altitude, let's head for the HIGHEST POINT on the dam! Most of the action scenes pretty much follow this level of nonsense. Oh well, maybe the writing is good? Nope! Back story for the newbie team member to make us care about him when he gets killed pretty much goes like this, "So, how did you get into this line of work?" " I was in Afganistan for three years when my platoon got trapped in the oil zone. By the time we got out, four of my friends were dead. When I got back to base, they had shot the dog I was taking care of, so, I'd had enough killing for the day"! That's it? That's the best the writes of this mega budget could come up with? Also to the character, since you had enough killing you decided to become a mercenary where you would kill people all day! Speaking of death, I read a stunt man died making this POS. people die everyday, on the subway, in their sleep, lots o reasons, but honestly, I can't think of a bigger waste of life than to die for this movie.
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012)
Wow, I blame Spiderman 3!
This version can be summed up like a joke about 9/11, "Too Soon?" I'm a HUGE fan of superhero movies and even cartoons, and even thought I couldn't get enough of them, until now. Iron Man was awesome, Iron Man II though, ugh, just okay. "The Avengers" was AWESOME, and "The Amazing Spiderman" just okay. Producers of this movie didn't learn from "The Return of Superman" about how NOT to make a super hero movie, really how to make ANY movie. Shouldn't a movie have a decent story? Is that so much to ask? Sure, you throw in some young good looking people (Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone), and then balance it with some older talented ones (Martin Sheen, Sally Field) and there's your cast boy, well lets add some CGI, and a romance that NO ONE CARES ABOUT! After putting these things together, they think they have a movie. Well, I guess they do. I guess people will pay to see it, like I did. Well, if you are bored, and you like action, and a quickly thrown together sketch of how Peter Parker became Spiderman, go see this. For my money though, Spider Man II, Iron Man, and The Avengers are light years beyond this endeavor.