Reviews written by registered user
|2 reviews in total|
There's just too much bad that makes up this movie so we will summarize
them in keywords: bad actors, bad acting, bad story, bad spidey, bad
jokes, bad action, bad spidey, bad if you just ate, good if you wanna
throw up, bad spidey, bad spidey, bad spidey!
The best moment in this epic turd of a movie is when you truly realize how bad this movie is and every scene makes you laugh.
If you loved the warmth and characters of the original Spiderman do yourself a favor and NEVER EVER see this movie. Even if you didn't like the original spiderman(for some strange reason), do NOT watch this movie!
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The characters: Mostly douches with bad lines.
The story: Aliens invade, their ships are clumsy and weird and jump on water. America (and to a lesser, lesser extent Japan saves the world). There are moments when you wish you could unsee the tacky ways they (the movie makers) try to make heroes and bad-asses of certain people. Most notably the old sailors on the USS Missouri which are posed (yes, really posed!) everywhere, high and low in an awkward way that just makes you wanna squirm and throw up a little bit.
The aliens: At first you think: "This alien race seems really noble." Second thought: "I hope the aliens win, I hate the characters in this movie so much!" Third thought: "Huh, so the aliens aren't noble, they're just stupid. And they seem a bit evil according to the unoriginal flashback John Carter got but... I'm still rooting for the aliens! Go aliens, exterminate this movie-verse!!"
The sum: Why did I watch this movie with awkward characters, unlikable at best. Silly plot with horribly pushed tie-ins to the battleship game. Plain dumb aliens. In-your-face product placement (Cola Zero, LG, Subway and probably some more). Why? I was really, really bored. And now I've lost faith in Hollywood movie making. It's not better then Transformers, It's just as bad.
If your over 10 years old: Don't watch this. If you 10 or younger: Don't watch this.
Hollywood needs to learn that they can't push this crap from the toilet to the big screen anymore!