Reviews written by
clockwork8812

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55 reviews in total 
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9 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Another 90's Guilty Pleasure, 8 July 2004
5/10

The majority of movies and TV shows that came out during the 90's were awful. But there were some that were so bad they were good. This movie here falls into that category, and it's perfect for late night viewing. The reason I find this movie so bizarre and hypnotic is not Alicia Silverstone. As a matter of fact, I've never found her to be that hot, compared to other actresses. The reason this movie draws in the viewer is Nicky Katt. Before I saw this movie I had never even heard of this guy, yet he's been acting since the early 80's. I could not stop laughing whenever he was on screen. What makes it all the more strange is that he wasn't even trying to be funny. His character in the movie is supposed to be a neighborhood bully, yet when he's walking down the street with Jeremy London and smashes the bottle on the pavement trying to act tough, I laughed so hard I fell off the couch. The rest of the dream sequences throughout the film feel like TWILIGHT ZONE visions. This makes the movie all the more bizarre and fun to watch.

Score, 5 out of 10 Stars

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Staten Island Version Of Halloween, 2 July 2004
6/10

WARNING: SPOILERS

Even the score is a carbon copy of John Carpenter's original. The only difference between the two is that the latter is much more chilling and here the maniac doesn't where a mask. Three things about this movie that will leave you disappointed:

1.We never learn about the maniac's background, yet throughout the film we keep seeing his face. Other than the fact he murdered his ex-flame and has since taken up to killing other brides, we don't get an overall clear picture about this guy.

2.Another handsome psycho: If you've seen 10 TO MIDNIGHT, you know what I'm talking about. This guy would have no trouble getting chicks. Yet throughout the movie, instead of asking them out on a date he attacks them with a kitchen knife.

3.The ending-not the very end but right before it when their at the morgue. You'll be wondering why a sequel hasn't been made to this movie.

Bottom Line: Not bad, and if you're thinking of seeing it you might wanna check it just for curiosity.

Score, 6 out of 10 Stars

8 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Roberts Should Have Kept That Perm, 2 July 2004
7/10

Since this is one of my favorite movies, I'm giving credit to Eric Roberts since this movie wouldn't be what it is without him in it. The problem for Mr. Roberts is that every movie he's been in since this one has sucked. Yet this is the only movie he's ever been in that he had a perm. He should have kept it on, because it seems he's been jinxed ever since. As for Mickey Rourke? Seems he's been jinxed just like Mr. Roberts has for the last twenty years. Other than YEAR OF THE DRAGON, where he was actually made to look older, he's failed miserably in acting, not to mention boxing. This movie had me in stitches. Non-stop comedy between these two monkeys.

Score, 7 out of 10 Stars

Neighbors (1981)
6 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Somebody Owes Tom Berger An Apology, 2 June 2004
1/10

One of the worst movies of all time, it seems evident towards the end of the film that the people involved were ruining this on purpose. It doesn't come close to Thomas Berger's fascinating novel that had me laughing throughout the book. Berger mixed comedy and TWILIGHT ZONE visions into his story and it came out a winner. The best novel I've ever read. As for this garbage of a movie, there are many rumors that have come out over the years on why it sucked. Some are:

1.Belushi hated director John G. Avildsen and wanted him replaced.

2.Dan Aykroyd was supposed to play Earl Keese while Belushi was supposed to play Vic. (In the book the character's name is Harry)

3.Belushi was constantly getting high throughout filming, at one point spending ten days in a row without getting any sleep.

Many people seem to miss the whole point why this movie fails. In the novel, Earl Keese is 49 years old. Belushi was 32 when he made this. When you have a 17 year age difference between the main character of the story, it's not gonna work. And most of all there are hilarious sequences in the book that have been omitted in the film, including a bizarre ending. For those who haven't seen this movie, don't waste your time. There is no comedy or bizarre scenes at all. Read the novel by Thomas Berger and you'll come away satisfied.

Score, BOMB

5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
So Bad It Was Good, 6 May 2004

Used to be one of my guilty pleasures back in the 90's, the time slot for this show was Thursday's at 9pm on FOX. Nowhere near as good as Miami VICE was, but it still had a spark to it that I just couldn't resist. With guest stars like Nancy Wilson, Stephanie Mills, Al Jarreau, Chaka Khan, Luther Vandross and George Benson performing after hours at Natalie's nightclub was fantastic. Filming on location in New York City helped a lot. The whole feel and realism of the street life was credible. It seemed they tried to mix the 70's, 80's and 90's into one whole show. Sometimes it worked, other times it failed miserably. And speaking of failing miserably- Malik Yoba was the most annoying character this show had to offer. His ego trip almost got him fired midway through the show's run by executive producer Dick Wolf.In a way I do miss this show. It was perfect late night, after hours viewing (I would tape it at 9pm and then watch it at midnight) that will forever go down as one of my guilty pleasures of the 90's.

46 out of 54 people found the following review useful:
Best Show Ever, 5 May 2004

There was something about this show that separated it from everything else. A hidden aura and sense of magic that drew you in deep. You know a show is good when you're watching it and your eyes never leave the screen, not even for a second. That was the case here, that is seasons 1-3. Seasons 4 and 5 were terrible. Who ruined this gem after 1987 I don't know, but watch any episode in season 4 and 5 and Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas seem bored, like they don't even want to be there. Funny, this started happening when John Diehl left the show. On the other hand, the first three seasons rocked. Some of those episodes were so hypnotic that there has never been anything like it. Here are my top 10 episodes of all time:

1) Junk Love / November 8, 1985

2) Hit List / October 19, 1984

3) No Exit / November 9, 1984

4) Back In The World / December 6, 1984

5) Bought And Paid For / November 29, 1985

6) The Good Collar / October 24, 1986

7) Rites Of Passage / February 8, 1985

8) Viking Bikers From Hell / April 3, 1987

9) Shadow In The Dark / October 31, 1986

10) Walk-Alone / October 17, 1986

Some of these episodes were so good that you wished they went on forever. For those who have yet to see this show, stick with the first three seasons. You're in for a real treat.

Gotcha! (1985)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
What's Edwards Doing In East Germany?, 4 May 2004
6/10

WARNING: SPOILERS

Anthony Edwards, best known for his role as Dr. Mark Greene on T.V.'s ER, was a rising star in the mid 80's along with Tom Cruise and Bruce Willis. While Cruise and Willis were known to make action flicks, Edwards mainly stuck to comedies. Here he plays a college student on spring break in Europe who along with his pal Manolo goes to visit the sights. Seems Edwards is more interested in the Czechoslovakian an chick he meets at the sidewalk cafe in Paris then going on sight seeing tours like he's supposed to. Keep in mind his parents are paying for this trip. But when the Czechoslovakian an chick tells him to go to East Berlin with her, Edwards hesitates, but then gives in! Funny, he didn't seem like a naive college kid to me. He actually seemed smart, compared to Manolo. I can't believe a character like that would be that stupid to accept a proposal of that nature from a complete stranger. Thats like someone going on vacation to South Korea, meeting a stranger at a cafe, and than agreeing to go with them to North Korea. Bottom Line: This movie had me in stitches, especially Manolo's one-liners. This flick is worth it to watch just for the look on Edwards face when he crosses Checkpoint Charlie.

Score, 6 out of 10 Stars

Vice Squad (1982)
3 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Missed Opportunity, 4 May 2004
3/10

Strictly amateur night in terms of acting and directing, but this actually had a chance to be good. How many times have we seen a movie where a pimp murders his own workers? Not many. The idea that Robert Vincent O'Neill had for the script is interesting. The problem is that director Gary Sherman screwed it up and the result is a sloppy movie. Taco sauce, anyone? There are some suspenseful scenes here, but a chilling score would have helped a lot and that's sorely lacking. On the other hand, the cat and mouse game between Gary Swanson and Wings Hauser is fun to watch in the neon hell of downtown Los Angeles.

Score, 2 out of 10 Stars

3 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
With This Cast, It Should Have Been Great, 18 April 2004
1/10

Not to mention the fact that it was directed by Walter Hill, one of the best action directors in the business. Boring and stupid, this movie failed miserably. Sad. With Keith Carradine, Fred Ward, Peter Coyote, Brion James, Powers Boothe and Sonny Landham, this movie should've rocked. Not once did it feel suspenseful or exciting. Instead we get a bunch of idiots marching through the swamps in the backwoods of Texas, being chased by redneck hillbillies. It copies DELIVERANCE right down to a tee. But then again, that movie sucked too. If your gonna have a script like this, than put some effort into it.

Score, 2 out of 10 Stars

4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Plays Like An X-Rated Episode of Barney Miller, 18 April 2004
8/10

I don't think Bronson ever made another movie like this one. Some of the language in this movie is sick, yet it seems so real. As usual Bronson is his old DEATH WISH self as he tracks down serial murderer Gene Davis. The script by William Roberts is decent, but the casting of Davis as the psycho seems odd to me. The reason they give for him killing women is that he's always being rejected by chicks, yet when you look at him, he's not ugly, stupid or retarded. There is no way in the world this guy would have trouble getting chicks. I could see an ugly guy in the role who couldn't score because he didn't have any looks, but Davis does, and this puts a big hole in Roberts' script. The cat and mouse game between Bronson and Davis is exciting, because Chuck knows from the beginning who is slicing and dicing those hot girls. And speaking of hot, Lisa Eilbacher is a fox.

Score, 8 out of 10 Stars


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