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Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
An open letter to Spike Jonze
My review can best be summed up by this open letter to Mr. Spike Jonze, the film's director and the man most responsible for this travesty.
Please, Mr Jonze, if it is at all possible I would appreciate the return of the two hours which I just lost watching your adaption of Where the Wild Things Are. If returned, I could put it to much better use doing more enjoyable things like changing the cat litter, chewing on tin foil and sawing off my own appendages with a butter knife. Further, if you wouldn't mind, I make the added request that you refrain from ever again applying your brand of "artistic vision" to any other of my favorite childhood stories. Whilst I am quite sure that there exists a select, small audience who appreciates your gift for completely sucking all of the magic and whimsy from the most memorable and special tales and turning them into soulless, spirit crushingly boring film adaptations, I and most human beings I know do not belong to that minority and would much rather that you never touch such a masterful tale of childhood innocence ever again. Last, and forgive me if this is too forward, while you are at it, please retire from film making altogether. I fear that if you ever were to release another film that it could succeed in actually being worse than Where The Wild Things Are, in which case you would surely be tried for crimes against humanity. Therefore this I ask as much for your own good as all of ours.