Reviews written by registered user
|57 reviews in total|
Imagine an episode where a couple of people are in a subway SYSTEM and the premise of tonight's episode is that they are running out of air and begin hallucinating.
So to be perfectly clear - a couple of people are walking for an hour (or 2?)in tunnels that trains can fit in and run for MILES and MILES but somehow they are running out of air and begin hallucinating by seeing alligators, old girlfriends, and spies that disappear into an empty closet. Let's not even get into the fact that there is no way to make a subway system airtight.
This is all on top of the most annoying lead actress who clearly has zero acting skills and whose face resembles a scrunched arse pumpkin head and has the personality of cardboard. If you don't believe me go visit the board for this show and read the threads begging for her to be killed.
Each week is poorly written tripe that contradicts itself while making no sense. By the end of every episode you are angry and wondering how this crap has not been canceled while other good shows did not make it.
This movie reminded me of Dumb and Dumber.....except that they are NOT
as smart as Lloyd and Harry nor as sexy, interesting, appealing, warm,
witty or forward growing. Also, Lloyd and Harry dressed MUCH
better....some of the SATC clothes were HIDEOUS!!!!! If only I could
rate it with a negative number.
One of the single most pathetic pieces of cinematography and writing ever. Ever.
It would be easy to write an essay for every 5 minutes of film describing how offensive, sub-par and annoying each segment was without even breaking a sweat.
Here's a fact also - if these woman/actresses had any talent they would have never done this movie after reading the script - so much for "producer" credits and experience. At the very least they should have been able to exert some control, direction and/or changes to this train wreck.
Breakdown of the women: narcissistic, whiny, dumb, ignorant, self-absorbed, classless, boring, shallow, weak, drama queens, embarrassing, old, needy and in need of mega therapy.
I'm going to agree with other posters who said that SJP is Ugly...no hating here...just burned corneas from staring at the screen in disbelief and realization that there must have been some soft focus lenses getting daily use of the series set.
These women need to eat also - it was very distracting to watch them move with sinewy muscle and protruding bones.
I'll probably update this review further since there are many things to say but for now please listen to other low rated reviews and do not insult your intelligence. Nothing but plot holes, filler and clichés.
This movie was baaaaaad - and unless you are sheep that can understand this baaaaad mess, then you should find something more worthy.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'm not sure how anyone rated this movie over a 7. Maybe someone who
who hasn't seen another Spiderman movie or a teenager could think it's
great, but rest assured it is NOT.
Green Lantern was bad and I gave it a 6, but I'm giving this a 5 because it's a reboot and did not need to be done. There are plenty of good writers so there is no excuse for the poor script.
Spiderman was boring and unoriginal. My mind wondered throughout the movie due to lack of empathy for the characters and plodding pace. I was more interested in my own thoughts of imagining how Christopher Nolan would have done the reboot and how much better it would have been - what a pity.
Here are my gripes: Costume was bad (at least Green Lantern had a cool suit);
subway scene was dumb - Parker immediately gets powers with no real bodily effects and putting a cold beer bottle with weight on his forehead doesn't awaken him, but a DROP of beer jolts him to the subway roof - laughable, cue my eye-roll - and where was the Spidey sense????;
Uncle Ben's death was not as emotionally affective as it should have been. Aunt May just seemed off - 2002 Aunt May all the way;
Dr. Connors was mishandled and boring - i do not buy that his motivation for trying the serum is the threat of being fired; he lost his arm and wants to be whole;
Denis Leary - underutilized and needed more screen time; bad move killing him off because he was the one person I would have liked to see in a sequel;
Mask - why is he always taking his mask off??? This seems out of character and reckless. Any retard knows to keep your identity a secret - and Parker is a genius, right? He can build web slingers and solve the formula problem that dozens of scientists have been working on, but he can't make a mask to keep on his face?;
Bridge rescue - clichéd and no dramatic tension (glad to see Jim Halsey and was thankful for the distraction of remembering how much I liked The Hitcher. Five minutes of that movie had more drama and tension than the entire Spiderman movie);
Crane scene - contrived, forced and just ridiculous;
love story - not even remotely developed; Parker does not go to the funeral when her dad dies??? The man who let him go??? No way. They did not look like teenagers - too old;
$10 minimum spend to take a penny - pathetic script writing which should have been cut;
Hype about movie being darker and Parker wittier - epic fail. They should have gotten a script doctor from Iron Man to give it look.
Spider Bite - his father's research work is the basis for the genetically mutated spiders, but Parker does internet search for information????????? Not look at his father's work??? Because when I look for cutting edge research information on secretive work worth millions of dollars which gives me superhuman powers, I go right to the internet...and ignore the work that cost my father his life;
Music - atrocious. You know it's bad when you you are actually thinking about it - normally music should be seamless in the movie and on all too rare occasions does the viewer encounter beautiful scores. I had to look it up and James Horner who won awards for Titanic and Avatar is listed. I guess you can't win them all, mediocrity would have been a step up;
CGI - ehhh; CGI Hulk in Avengers was good, nothing stood out here;
Gwen in closet - spray can of fire to scare off mutant lizard with regenerative powers and superhuman strength???
Conclusion: Disappointing movie that should have been better from a reviewer who is not a fan boy of Raimi. Examples of movies that did it better are Batman, Iron Man and Hulk (Norton, but there is room for improvement here). Clearly there will be a sequel because the studio is making a lot of money - they need to regroup and produce something better.
I am anxiously awaiting the Hulk reboot with Ruffalo and hope it is better than The Amazing Spiderman.
I was not repulsed by Laura Dern's clear case of anorexia.
I wanted to punch her in her face. Her husband probably can not stand to look at her and the marriage is failing because who can respect a shrew like her. The scene where she is having sex with him is disgusting - all bones are showing and the sinewy muscles creep me out.
It is very distracting to watch a movie when an actor's glaring personal problem overshadows all else. I spent most of the movie imagining her own personal self-loathing which has driven her to this place. Successful family and career, but something else below the surface. Directors should realize that it does not help a movie when they employ actors with problems. I would have made her eat each day in front of me before I began filming. I stopped watching her cable show for the same reason. I wish she gets helps.
This is not a bashing post, but I am truly tired of watching movies and seeing this issue.
So many people in the world who can't get 3 squares a day...what a lucky society we live in...all hail the pursuit of size zero.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I'm not going to get crazy with details because there are plenty of
thorough reviews already written, so here's the quick breakdown:
Script plot holes; slow and boring in parts; fighting scenes which felt forced or off; extreme annoyance with "trained" agents who are in bed/in love with each immediately and making poor decisions at almost every turn which botch the mission; failure to create sympathetic characters; let down ending.
It was like watching the 3 stooges attempt to be agents, but at least the stooges would have been entertaining. I also suspect they would have been more successful.
This is not a 7 movie. I do wish it had been.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
First couple of minutes of the film I thought seemed to have potential
for an interesting, satirical black comedy...at the very least
I agree with the other reviewer who found this movie annoying; so much so that I had to surf IMDb about 10 minutes into the film to see if anyone else had a similar reaction. I was baffled by the assembly of very good actors and poor script. Apparently the director/writer is Heather Graham's boyfriend - I'm going to assume this is the reason the film was made, because that's all I've got.
I'm very disappointed because the basic premise could have been developed into something...anything. Instead I watched a mess with annoying characters, no development, poor cinematography, bad edits, and a hideous ending. At the very least, I thought there might be redemption in the ending. I waited for even something far-fetched. Nothing. Rambling about tasting the clam chowder as a meta statement about living life. Blah, blah, blah. In the final moments, I was thinking this guy had better be walking on water when he reaches the ocean - even if he is not the messiah, give me something here. Just a retard walking into the ocean to drown himself. Whatever.
It is very shameful that there is more deserving material worthy of the cast and budget.
Initially tuned into this movie expecting some type of morph on Twilight, extra angst. You know, acting lite. Less calories, less filing.
Pattinson rose to the occasion and delivered a very good performance.
The movie combines elements of uncomfortable family interactions, power plays, domination, and avoidance. There is a level of disconnect and loss ready to erupt throughout the entire movie.
I won't spoil anything, but just note that if you hated Twilight, you should give this a try.
No I do not hate Twilight. Looking forward to the evolution of Robert Pattinson.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Having never heard of this movie and deciding to tape it and watch
later because Geena Davis was in the cast, I was quite happy with the
Here's why this is a good movie - I actually rewound this movie several times so that I could write down a quote from it:
"I could have prevented it, but more to the point you couldn't have. Nor could you have saved him. Some things are just meant to be, sad as they are. We all pay for our mistakes Billy. You paid for yours long before you made them. Now you gotta stop paying. See what the world has to offer. What am I gonna do with it? "
When you write down a quote from a movie so you can reread it, you have a winner.
If it's not for you, some things are meant to be, sad as they are. What are you gonna do with this movie?
Just read some of the other reviews on here and I have to disagree.
First - good cinematography with some really great shots. End of story. The tripe fest that is The Descendants that was filmed in beautiful Hawaii with a much larger budget looked like a brochure. Ugh.
Second - cries of clichés, ridiculous plot twists and poor acting per reviewers. Can anyone really name a film that does not have some clichés (excludes any movie that did it first and more than 20 yrs ago). I've never seen 3 human beings sewn ass to face before, but then everyone cries how it's just for the shock value, too disgusting. Can't win either way. Poor acting from teen actors - was there room for improvement? Yes. Has anyone spent actual time around a couple of teen boys who were same sexed raped??? I'm thinking these kids are not too emotive, erratic, angry and confused with a dash of self-destruction and death obsession. I'm fine with the plot twists; kept it moving. As long as there was no cop-out dream sequence, then I'm willing to give some leeway.
It's nice to see a horror movie that is not a hollowed out skeleton of
mass produced clichés; and how many can boast Mario Batali as a cast
member (I'm not saying he was awesome).
James LeGros had his acting mojo going on many years ago. If he was in it then I was fairly confident that I would like the movie or could at the very least depend on a good performance from him. Somewhere along, he seemed to have hit a rough patch and each movie was a crap shoot.
I am happy to say that he is back. I had a warm fuzzy feeling in a cold bloody horror movie.
Bitter Feast is more psychological than the average horror flick, but it has nice undercurrents and satirical commentary on society today.
It's a good day when you turn off the movie and wonder if you can find another one just like it...not perfection, but very satisfying.
|Page 1 of 6:||     |