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So funny Khan's shoe drops in toilet
Mrs Khan is going to a store that sells baby clothes. She says how she loves babies "I really really love them so much with their tiny little hands and tiny feet" She pinches Amjad's face like she would a baby's and is hopeful Amjad will produce lots of babies when he marries her daughter.
Mr Khan takes Amjad for a health checkup. The mosque men talk about heart issues and checking for cholesterol. Riaz/Nish Nathwani the heavy set man tells of his relatives that high cholesterol and they all died. He is so funny he says few words right to the point.
Amjad gets afraid and goes in the bathroom at the mosques and stays in the cubicle. Amjad does not answer when Khan calls. Mr Khan searches for him, stands on a toilet and his shoe falls off in the water. He then tries to slide underneath the cubicle and gets stuck his face up in the one next to him where a man is at. This is so funny. The lock on Amjad's bathroom door is stuck and he has to climb over the cubicle divider to help Khan. Amjad gets half way over the wall and legs are spread and oh oh he get hurt. He ends up going to the hospital and scared he wont be able to have children.
Scenes in Citizen Khan are so funny I hope you get a chance to see this series.
A family's pride makes it hard to find a killer
Sir Henry Lacklander an elderly rich man is dying and he wrote a book he revised. He has a friend of his take the book with a new chapter in it and wants it published because he knows he is dying. He does die and soon after the man that has the book Thomas Cartarette is murdered while fishing. Inspector Alleyn is called in to be somebody's bodyguard by his brother and ends up investigating the Cartarette murder.
There are lots of suspects:
. A man that practices shooting with an arrow and had a intimate romance with Mrs Cartarette before she got married during the time of the war. He also does not like his neighbors.
. Octavius is a cat loving neighbor and fishes. He has arguments with the man killed about poaching fish.
. Gerald Lacklander son of Sir Lacklander that wrote a book is having an affair with Mr Cartarette's wife.
. Kitty Cartarette likes to take golf lessons from a man she is having an affair with.
There are many young men and woman in these families that are also suspect. Class, importance, family history and money play a big part in this episode.
The people that have motives seem connected some how with what happened in the war with England and Germany.
The important things that are spoken about connected to the murder are the unpublished book fish and fish scales.
So this is a mystery with so many people keeping secrets of others and hiding there own.
Citizen Khan: Naani's Day Out (2013)
Nanni, bingo and a new man in her life
Nanni, Mrs Khan's mother, is visiting from Pakistan. Mrs Khan does not like the way her mother is acting and does not want her to go home unless she sees some changes. She gives a memory test to her mother. Naani is supposed to tell her daughter the names of 5 farm animals. Naani is not saying anything. Mr Khan wants Naani to go home. He acts like an animal behind his wife's back to give Naani the animal names. He acts like a chicken laying an egg then blows up a rubber glove to look like cow utters.So funny.
Khan is told by his wife to take her mother out to cheer her up. He takes her to the mosque, and that doesn't help. Dave the "ginger" mosque leader (white not Pakinstani) is not there anymore but now another man named Dave is in charge and he is a "ginger". Kahn is not happy.
A group of old people are walking across the street to a building with a sign "Working Men's Club". He goes in the club and the manger thinks Khan is the guest to call the bingo numbers. He does not do good Khan does not know how to play bingo.
At home Naani starts acting happy and they find a picture of her on Facebook with a non Muslim named Clive from the bingo club. Clive comes over and as he talks about the way "they communicate with the mother tongue and body language" Khan's family is taking his comments as sexual they are so amazed and horrified. Just their reactions is so funny. You have to see it to believe it. Very funny.
Scary and funny
A man that is an inventor is protected by secret agents because he has invented a torpedo and they don't want the plans of his invention in the wrong hands. He dies suddenly when he goes down to meet his guests for drinks in his large expensive house.
Birmingham/Mantan Moreland who plays in a lot of Chan movies just happens to arrive at the house to deliver something just as the man died. The agent won't let anyone leave. When he finds out what happen his big eyes open wide and he is scared. There are no marks to show how the inventor died. Chan who always wears a light colored suit gets called in to investigate what happened with the death of the inventor.
Chan's daughter Iris and son number 3 Tommy are there and thought they would go on a sight seeing trip with their father. Chan now has 14 kids. Iris and Tommy are disappointed and are going to turn in to detectives without their fathers knowledge and go to where their father is. Charlie Chan comes on the scene and feels the man was murdered but shows no signs of how he died. He waits for the coroner's report.
The paper with the torpedo plans shows up that were missing but Chan's looks at them and says they are a forgery. About 8 people are now delayed and all considered suspects and cannot leave the house.
Chan's kids show up and sneak in the house and create more problems.The coroner's report shows the inventor died by being electrocuted. Another person gets killed in the house while everyone is in the room and the lights are on. Chan knows he is dealing with murders who are very cleaver. He feels there was more than one person involved.
The end is very detailed and surprising but like Charlie Chan mysteries he always gets his killer(s).
Dead Men Tell (1941)
Pirate's curse and mystery
A ship is going on a trip to find a treasure. A lady had a treasure map, cut it in four pieces and sent them to 3 different people invited to this treasure hunt trip. Later she dies on the ship frightened to death by someone she thinks is from the pirates curse. Chan's son sneaks on the boat he wants to go on this treasure hunt. Later his father comes looking for him.
Chan's son is supposed to call the police about the death of the woman on the ship,he tells a reporter to do it who does not.
He then goes into a bar looking for someone with a wooden leg and trips over a guy with a wooden leg. Chan's son is so funny he gets into all kinds of trouble thinking he is so smart. He ends up in the water a lot.
He blind folds himself and tell a man he can walk a straight line anywhere. Not nothing the man takes the chain off of a plank and Jimmy Chan walks straight almost to the end of the plank above the water. When he takes the blindfold off he gets scared by what he sees and falls in the water.
Someone on board is scaring the others pretending to be Black Hook, a pirate with a hook for a hand and a wooden leg who left scratch marks on the door with his hook where the woman died. Strange music starts playing when danger is expected. People start getting killed and someone is trying to collect all the pieces of the treasure map.
George Reeves/Superman is in this young and handsome. There is also a thin man who looks nuts and comes on board with a doctor to get rid of some of his fears. His name is Milton Parsons and he plays Gene LaFarge. He is also funny
Nice mystery most of the passengers have a reason to knock everybody off.
Citizen Khan: Alia's College (2013)
Very funny Mr Khan gets caught in his own lies
Khan is taking a bath in lots of bubbles and singing "I am sailing to Pakistan". He talks with his wife and she said they need to call a plumber and for him to hurry up she needs to take a bath. He knows they have a leak so he tells to use HIS water to take a bath and not call the "Polish" plumber that she suggested, than he lets out stomach gas in the water.
Minutes later Khan gets out of his bath and enters his dining room wearing rabbit pajamas with long ears.
Alia gets her exam results to show her family,she fails her exams. Khan wants her to go to a Muslim college. He looks up the price of colleges at the mosque but cannot find one he could afford. His mosque friends tell him to get one with a scholarship. He finds one and does not realize it until he is in the office and Alia tells him it is a Catholic college. Khan sees the picture of the Pope on the wall and a Cross. He tells his daughter to take off her Muslim head gear and he starts getting nervous.
He is trying to make her look like a Catholic which surprises her. When the man Keith interviews them Khan calls his daughter Mary and says they are Catholic. The man tells him they have no scholarships right now and only for minority religions like the Hindus and Muslims. Then all of a sudden Khan is a Muslim again. He tells Keith he is in a minority sect and makes up a name "Twaddy". He makes up stuff about his religion about carrots and standing on one leg.
There is a dinner at Khan's house for Shazia's wedding. Khan convinced the man from the Catholic college that he is a persecuted Muslim to get the scholarship and now the man is going to Khans house at night to finish the form papers for college. Khan tells the man they are a minority family and men cannot be in the same room as females. Men from the mosque are at his house fixing the plumbing.
Mrs Khan finds her husband with his friends from the mosque and Keith dancing. Khan tells Keith this is his religious dance. Mrs Khan yells at him and he has to confesses to the visitors of the party and his friends what he is up to regarding the college for Alia.
Some other thing happens after that it is very very funny.
Alleyn Mysteries: Dead Water (1994)
Lots of cultish and fantasy beliefs in healing
The story is a mystery. Inspector Alleyn goes to a island to help a friend, an older woman named Mrs Pride from way back. She inherited some land from her sister and wants to travel to the island to make some changes.
The island has a spring which is advertised by a woman that lives there named Elspeth Cost. Ms Cost has promoted this spring as a healing spring and sells artifacts connected to the spring like statues of a woman in green clothing that is said to appear, water in bottles from the spring and more. There are cult like worshiping sessions with children dressed in green and certain words spoken like they are waiting for a supernatural happening.
The people that live there do not like Mrs Pride's idea because the spring brings lots of visitors and the town which is small and could stop people from coming and they won't make any money.
Mrs Prides life has been threatened while there. Alleyn wants to to leave. His girlfriend the artist is with him and jealous of the time he spends away from her.
Alleyn is trying to find out who wants to kill Mrs Pride. Mrs Pride wants Ms Cost to stop using the spring in a way to fool people that it heals them. It is personal for Mrs Pride her sister had a lot of faith in Ms Cost promotion of healing and did not get medical care and then died.
Mrs Prides does not want to close the spring she just wants it open for people to visit.
So the mystery goes on and has a surprise ending.
Rumors about Shazia, Khan anniversary
The video was very funny. Lots going on Khan's anniversary, invitations to Shazia's wedding and more.
Khan is planning something for the anniversary for his wife. Then the family must go to the mosque first. Mrs Khan wants someone invited and writes and invitation. Khan wants to invite who he wants. He is always looking to be important and invites someone he wants to impress so he gives the invitation to Mr Jarved.
There are lots of men and women in the mosque to pray. Around 11 minutes in the video Khan walks into where the men are praying, some on their knees, some sitting and some standing. Khan calls Mr Jarved in a soft voice "Mr Jarved pss pss" to get his attention. He disturbs the men praying. Khan gives Jarved a big wave when he gets his attention. Quietly Khan is talking to Amjad while standing in the back of the prayer room and Khans cell phone rings very loudly with music as a call comes in and disturbs the men praying.
He talks loud like he would at home and lies about the invitation and makes a rumor about his daughter having a relationship with a teacher that his wife's invitation was going to for Shazia's wedding.
Amjad hears his talk and is mad and brokenhearted. Khan finished the call and accidentally pushes the man standing in from of him down. The man then falls on the men to the right and they all fall down like dominoes. This is such a funny scene.
When they get happy or mad or worried they say "oh my god, oh my god" several times and it is humorous to see their reaction. I am a Christian so when I say "oh my God" is a request for love and forgiveness from Jesus.
I did not agree with the scene that Shazia defended herself said these things were not true but her body was her own and stating she could go with whoever she wanted and how many it was the past. I don't think she did anything but I don't like this feminist statement saying you can have sex with who you want and it should not matter because it is past. I do agree that some religions treat woman bad. Our past does affect our future though.
Many people connected to Shazia come to Khan's house to question or complain about the rumor regarding Shazia. Amjad's mother is there too. Khan has to confess he lied about his daughter. Then he talks like a liberal supporting his daughter's behavior no matter I can understand that you can love your child but not what they do.
In general I do like this series, it's funny and the actors are great. There was actor who played Omar a tall black Muslim. He had a high pitched voice and very funny his name was Felex Dexter. He died when he was 52 October 18, 2013.
Citizen Khan: Family Holiday (2012)
Very funny episode honeymoon plans for Shazia
Shazia one of the Khan daughter's wants to go on a nice honeymoon but can't afford it. Mrs Khan suggest they use Khan's rainy day money that was saved to give to her daughter and future son in law for their honeymoon.
Mr Khan is against it. He has his mind on the men in the mosque naming the community room after him. The men are voting on different issues and his future son-in-law Amjad Malik comes at a time when one of the members donates a prize for a charity auction. The Maliks are rich. The men all bid but Khan does not want to bid any money. Then Amjad said his father wants to outbid anyone. So Khan gets brave and pretends to bid high knowing Mr Malik will have to pay the high bid. Khan thinks his bidding action will make him look good in front of the group. Well it turned out a little bit different.
Alia, Mr Khan's other daughter pretends to be a praying Muslim, who fakes reading about Muslim history and wears a lot of makeup. When her father comes in the room she puts a Muslim Hijab on her head. Mr Khan favors this daughter and she has him fooled.
The episodes are always funny. When the Khans get nervous or happy they say "Oh my God" several times.
The humor is different but funny. Mr Khan is the man of the house and is not as rich as some but is always putting on a act. It shows a man that is human who wants to be recognized by mosque men and his family as important and the funny things he does to make others respect him.
Very funny things you cannot say now PC
This episode "Fred, the Reluctant Fingerman" was about crooks stealing things from Fred's driveway and also from his neighbor Julio Fuentes who is Spanish.
Fred wants to spend time with his son Lamont and he gets jealous when he finds out Lamont is going out with Julio. Fred makes fun of the way Julio talks with an accent to Lamont. When Julio comes over to get Lamont, Fred talk like Julio making fun of him and Julio does not catch on. This is so funny I am sure it would be considered racist if they allowed this today.
Fred makes "Holy Moly" some special dish to eat when watching TV.
When the guys are gone Fred leaves his metal bowl with "Holy Moly" on table in the livingroom. A goat enters the door (Julio's goat who later gets stolen) and starts eating the "Holy Moly" out the bowel. Fred is in the kitchen. Fred's reaction is so funny and angry when he sees the goat eating.
Fred chases the goat out and while outside two thieves steal things from his neighbor Julio. They threaten him to keep quiet. Later when asked by Julio, Fred tells them he saw the thieves but he won't "finger" them.
So Lamont and Julio have a plan, they move Fred's truck and make out it is stolen and that Julio saw the thieves. Julio tells Fred he saw them but won't identity them.
Now Fred knows what it feels like.
This was so funny things you don't see or hear today on TV. Things Fred says to make fun of any race has 70% truth in and if he used it today it would be considered biased, racist and more. Humor is humor, words are part of life. This is real life in a humorous way.