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Geordie Shore (2011)
Trashy, awful, Disgusting
This is the most horrible piece of trash I've ever seen, The women are whores, the men are generic dirt bags, And this "show" is massively scripted, I heard people my age (15) are massive fans of this show. Modern pop has officially distorted the youth of the UK. This show should be banned from TV, it really is disgusting and degrading to the human race, these guys are the human waste, failed people, who believe they have "Swag" and believe "Yolo" (You only live once) means do crazy stuff, as you will die at some point anyway, you only live once so just go f______ nuts, That is what these dirt bags mean, if you like this show, i suggest you look at yourself in a mirror and think.....Am i really a piece of human waste if i copy these dirt bags?
Yes you are.
This show should be avoided and kids and teenager should Never watch this "reality" show.
Austin & Ally (2011)
Just silly and wrong
The fact that this show was even made, makes me weep for humanity. It's like Nicki minaj, popular with morons, The fact that this show gets a rating of 5 is awful. The show has jokes that fall flat all the time.
Austin meant to be cool and smooth, yet he's an idiot, He's annoying and just plain stupid. He does not even play guitar on the show he just holds it and jumps around.
Ally can't write songs, She's awful. Her jokes are so badly acted they fall flat every time.
Dez is an unneeded He's an idiot on purpose, and just finds the dumbest situations and is the most annoying person on earth.
Trish, Is just a annoying and gets fired every day, She makes one joke saying she does not work on days that end with "Y" Which of course is every day, which means she's a lazy, Selfish cow. She is also the only person on the show i would murder.
The jokes are silly and fall flat every time. This show needs a massive "Make over" as they say, as this show needs fixing or it's going to end, quickly.
The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
Absolution amazing --- *Contains spoilers!
Now this is one hell of a movie, Amazing animations and graphics, well directed and perfect yet a tiny bit slow, i'll get to that later on.
Now this movie is ambitious and miles smarter than your average 3-D family film, why, because of the plot the plot was very well done, and the voice acting was superb.
This is the plot so yeah
Tintin (Jamie Bell), a young journalist, and his dog Snowy are browsing in an outdoor market in a European town. Tintin buys a model of a three-masted sailing ship, the Unicorn, but is then immediately accosted by the sinister Ivan Ivanovitch Sakharine (Daniel Craig), and the mysterious figure of Barnaby (Joe Starr), who both try to buy the model from Tintin, without success. Tintin takes the ship home, but it is broken during a fight between Snowy and a neighbor's cat. As it breaks, a parchment scroll slips out of the ship's mast. Snowy spots it but is unable to alert Tintin.
Now the cat got in from the window and the animation for tintin were a little off as he fell on the couch or chair, either way both leather. So apart from this little mistake, it was greatly done Next!
Tintin visits Sakharine in Marlinspike Hall, where he learns that there are two model ships. Tintin puts the scroll in his wallet, only to have his wallet stolen by Silk. (A wallet thief) Later, Tintin is shot at, then abducted by accomplices of Sakharine, and imprisoned on the SS Karaboudjan. On board, Tintin escapes and meets the ship's nominal captain, Haddock (Andy Serkis). Haddock has been supplied with whiskey by first mate Allan (Daniel Mays), who is working for Sakharine, and thus is permanently drunk, and unaware of the happenings on board his ship. Tintin, Haddock, and Snowy eventually escape from the Karaboudjan in a lifeboat. Sakharine sends a seaplane to find them, which the trio seize and use to fly towards the (fictitious) Moroccan port of Bagghar, but they crash in the desert.
Now in this part things get weird on the plane but they were all accurate, for comedy anyway. This movie only gets better as you'd think, its a kids movie, no guns no blood, nope a guy gets shot up then writes a message to tintin with his blood on a newspaper.
Dehydrated in the heat, and suffering from a sudden lack of alcohol, Haddock hallucinates, and starts to remember stories about his ancestor, Sir Francis Haddock (Andy Serkis), who was captain of the Unicorn during the 17th century. Sir Francis' treasure-laden ship was attacked by a pirate ship, led by the masked Red Rackham (Daniel Craig), and, after a fierce battle and eventual surrender, Sir Francis chose to sink the Unicorn, and most of the treasure, rather than allow it to fall into Rackham's hands. It transpires that there were three models of the Unicorn, each containing a scroll. Together, the scrolls will reveal the location of the sunken Unicorn, and its treasure.
Yea he loses it but for a good cause, and the action sequence on the ship was awesome. Realistic and amazingly done. Next!
The third model ship is in Bagghar, in the possession of the wealthy Omar Ben Salaad (Gad Elmaleh), but it is encased in a bullet-proof glass display case. Sakharine's plan is to stage a concert involving famous diva Bianca Castafiore (Kim Stengel), the "Milanese nightingale", whose penetrating singing voice will be able to shatter the glass case, allowing Sakharine's trained hawk to fly down and steal the third scroll
She really was very high pitched, unforgivably i know nothing of opera as i can not stand it, so she so high pitched she shattered all the glass, including bulletproof glass. Other then that haddock wanted another beer, great message for the kids, and then screws up, great message for kids, they then have an amazing fight sequence.
After a chase down to the harbor, pursued by Tintin and Haddock, Sakharine finally escapes with all three scrolls. Tintin chases him back to Europe and arranges a police reception for him on the dockside. Haddock and Sakharine, who is revealed to be the descendant of Red Rackham, replay their ancestors' swashbuckling sword fight, using dockside cranes, swords, and even bottles of whiskey. Haddock is eventually victorious and Sakharine is promptly arrested by Thomson and Thompson
This fight scene was long, well animated and well performed.
With the three scrolls in their possession, Tintin and Haddock find that the indicated location is Marlinspike Hall, and that the hall had been built originally by Sir Francis Haddock. There, in the cellar, they find some of the treasure, and a clue to the location of the sunken Unicorn. Both men agree to continue the adventure.
So the plot is great, the animations are amazing and this was overall 10/10- it was slow in places yet it fitted well. Recommended.
Jack and the Beanstalk (2009)
I feel like this was a low budget title.
*Contains spoilers! *Contains spoilers! *Contains spoilers!
This movie was okay for kids, the jokes were not rude yet one by Grayson, Was heading the wrong way, luckily jack stops him. And the use of the word "Badonkadonk" i think that's how you spell it, Never mind. The fact that jacks dad is dead does allow one dramatic scene that is not ruined by Grayson. Also the fact that this movie was poorly written is quite an open topic for me, the jokes were, well we seen these jokes, in past movies or even youtube videos, so while nothing really new here, some jokes stood out.
Whenever someone mentions Jack and the beanstalk, i think Crappy plays, not terrible movies, and poor acting, this was one of them, now no disrespect for Colin it was his first ever movie, and he got a part that was get him little stardom but the kid was something like 12 when this was made,and it was not even in the cinemas, or not advertised well, he has a lot of time to make a fool of himself. But also a lot of time to get a better movie part.
I know this is long, and i may seem like a jerk, but you should see me review music, i get insane over it.
So this movie was poorly written, mediocre performances and is very little boring as it starts with bad jokes, and feel like another cheap play, this movie was not the worst movie, but its no charmer either, 3/10
I saw a youtube video, which was a rant on Kids shows,one show that was involved was Icarly, so to see if the "youtuber's" points were right i watched 1 episode, when the guy gets a drum kit. He was right, the show had many faults.
1) Bad acting- the acting was poor, and over done. 2) the laughing track- Every time they'd say something there would be a laugh, even if it's only them saying "Oh no" "what" "my cat ran out the door" (hahahaha) "lets get him" "he's too quick for our legs" (hahahaha) "Dude he's just a cat" (hahahaha) "not just a cat......my cat" (hahahaha) 3)silly plots- saw one episode where they get a insane fan stalking them. And they go, too far, so far its stupid.
so why is this show so popular, because kids our days listen to pop music and stuff like that, yes i'm only 15, but i can not stand pop, its looped like icarly
there is one good thing......Still better then Fred.
This show is poorly written, poorly acted and just plain stupid.
This show is very bad, and i know i say this a lot but i do. it's stupid I've laughed a few times but most of the time it is lame. This show made me cry....because it's so bad.
Here's Why: 1) Bad Jokes
2) Poor ideas 3) Episode "Creepy Connie" was a joke already made by "Good Luck Charlie"
So, Debbie Ryan is The Worst option they could pick this show if worst then "Shake It Up" which is Very, Very stupid and Bad. so this show is stupid and every single way bad the only funny dude is the fat butler he is the one with the funny jokes all the others Garbage.
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
Yes a good comedy
This movie was so funny my rib cage was fighting for survival. this is by far one of the greatest movies of all time. i love the jokes in this. in this one part the guys got a cam plugged to the TV's in the shop and just before he puts it at his penis his friend runs in and stops him so so funny.
This is by far amazing, i love this movie so, so much.
it's so good you have to see it to believe it. don't be put off watch it
this movie has a few mistakes one fairly obvious too any gamer. one actor uses a remote for a gaming system that street fight or mortal combat was not released on.
Uncle Buck (1989)
Great movie for teens
Now this movie was very simple but i'm very saddened that the guy who played as buck died (john candy). I like the jokes where he teases the kids one by saying he has a friend in the F.B.I who can use science to find out if they don't brush there teeth or not the funny bit is their reaction. They had some great classic songs like Mr.sandman by Pat Ballard also it's very funny when the women thinks he banging his sister in law in the wash room. when he trying to open the washing machine and the women loses it when he says take this load. her name was Darcy i think.
I really like how he torments and scares Tia i think it is. another great joke was tricking Tia into going bowling by saying and miming saving her hair off so she won't screw her boyfriend and get pregnant. even at the bowling ally a guy covered in scars hits on her and buck makes him poop himself by scaring him away. and the jokes get better and better its a great movie Watch it!
my main problem with this movie is he smokes a lot not a good message to kids. also the sex jokes are just sticking for a movie where even 8 year olds make these jokes so...... Still not a great message.
This is the most awful kids movie ever
the effects are cheap and unrealistic,the acting is so over the top i wanted to stop watching but i had to write a review on something so this movie is what i picked and its a massive stinker. the kids pulled in okay performance apart from the little girl Gerti Giggles ( Emily Osment) who won best young performer but i thought OVERRATED MOVIE AND ACTORS. this movie made more money then they had.the movie was awful the editor had to take bad acting like that and try to fix it.yet it did not work. this movie looks cheap, poorly made and i do not know how it got positive reviews this movie was worst then the cat in the hat. Why were the critics so dumb that they like this movie.
this truly is the Worst Kids movie of the decade. This is the most awful kids movie ever
The Smurfs (2011)
How is this a movie ?
Once again i'm making a review for a Bad movie. The Smurfs was the stupidest excuse for a kids movie since The Cat In The Hat staring Micheal Myers. I gotta admit Neil Patrick Harris was pretty good.But Hank Azania was a massive idiot.The smurf song where they just go la la la la was very irritating.Do they think kids are stupid ? they were very lucky to make the money they did. IN FACT THIS MOVIE WAS OVERRATED BY FAMILIES.The joke with the porter potty was dumb.The joke were gargmel gets tasted is lame most of this movie just runs on some idiot's bad brain cells.I also hate the fact that my 16 year old friend likes it and now annoys me by saying "what the smurfing smurf" why can't he just go back to the f word.
save your money don't watch this movie.if you disagree Then your an idiot