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Gonzowatchmaker
Reviews
Little Dixie (2023)
As much tension as an old knicker elastic.
Let me list why you should not waste a penny watching this load of tripe:
1. The plot is ridiculous. Truly. Nothing makes sense.
2. There is absolutely no tension whatsoever. Grillo walks from one stupid situation into another with absolutely no suspense.
3. Frank Grillo just is. There is no characterisation. He has no idea what he is doing.
4. I am no expert but I believe special forces soldiers are taught to shoot at the biggest target (the chest). Gillo only ever shoots people in the head. From 5 feet to 30 feet. He never misses and never has to shoot twice. Ridiculous
5. The baddies are the worst clichés ever. Absurd and not at all threatening.
6. The hero should have some sort of moral compass. This idiot kills more innocent people than the bad guys.
Please don't waste your money. This film is not only bad, but gross.
Three Pines (2022)
I am sorry to be a dissentor.
Molina is great. That is, in my view, non negotiable. Unfortunately, no one else is in any single episode.
I am sorry to be a nay sayer, but the acting in this series is just awful and it spoils the rather nice plots.
Everyone except for Molina hands in appalling soap opera performances. What do I mean by that? In soaps, actors have to show every emotion. They "emote" everything they are thinking and feeling. In good drama, they allow us to find it. Molina is the perfect example. He suggests, he doesn't show. Such a disappointment as what should have been a delicious detective series is a badly acted, unsubtle, mediocre effort shown up by one excellent performance.
The Menu (2022)
Superb filmaking
I knew nothing about this film when I saw it. It the true sense of tragedy, you can't help feeling things are going to go awry. I don't want to give anything away but you will be taken on an emotional rollercoaster.
The performances are exceptional. Without exception. Ralph Fiennes is perfectly cast and gives one of his finest performances. The supporting cast offer a compelling ensemble performance without which the virtuoso performance would not work.
Just watch and let the film take you on a storytelling journey that matches the incredible one of the actual menu.
It is an allegory, a metaphor. Its final message is impossible to ignore or belittle.
Stunning storytelling.
Speak No Evil (2022)
Painful, but brilliant
This is the first time in many years that my wife and I viciously disagreed on a film. We agreed that the acting is brilliant, the tension is amazing and it was wonderfully made. BUT: She found it pornographic as in " the depiction of acts in a sensational manner so as to arouse a quick intense emotional reaction" in other words gratuitous in its violence and sadism. I disagree.
I believe it makes a very powerful point as to what we will accept in our modern, forgiving society.
I am not spoiling anything when I say that throughout the film we are saying, "no, just leave" or "come on, don't accept this", but unlike a common horror film where people act like idiots in order to satisfy the plot, here, there are genuine, believable reasons why Bjorn and his wife endure.
My big question is, would non-middle class, white people have behaved this way. I don't think so and therefore maybe this is the point of this film. I don't know but it is brilliant film making.
Not for the faint hearted.
Separation (2021)
Dreadful, dreadful, dreadful
Some good actors lost in a pile of rubbish that has no discernable positives. The characters are unlikeable, the plot is idiotic and the direction is as clunky as the script. It works neither as a family drama (Rupert Friend's character is such a crap parent you beg him to give his child away) the little girl's trauma is so woefully addressed as to be laughable and Brian Cox does his best but is also a stinker.
Mamie Gummer's character, Maggie, the dreadful wife who is trying to steal poor, useless Jeff's little girl makes no sense. She is so totally brutal and horrible that you wonder if maybe Jeff isn't some kind of pervert. This two dimensional character weakens the film right from Act 1, not to mention that I found it rather misogynistic.
The horror aspect is also badly handled. Imagine Tim Burton directing scenes that ended on the cutting room floor.
I gave it two stars for the twist at the end which I only realised right before it was uncovered but to be honest I was so annoyed at wasting my time that I was probably not concentrating hard enough.
Hated it.
Ludik (2022)
How disappointing
I am a big fan of Arnold Vosloo. If only the rest of the cast could have lived up to his ability. This could really have been a good show bar two things: appalling soap opera performances and the most awful soundtrack and sound design. I nearly stopped watching because of the dreadful din coming through the speakers. The 3 stars are because I wanted to see how Ludik got out of his dilemmas so it had me hooked in that way, but I confess I did fast forward some scenes with the bad guys. This was a good example of how not to play bad guys: try to look and sound like a bad guy.
The difference between good acting (Vosloo) and soap opera acting (Sean Cameron Michael) is that Vosloo underplays emotions so the viewer can interpret them. Michael shows you everything, all the time and over eggs it like crazy leaving nothing to our interpretation. Anyway, my opinion.
Last Man Down (2021)
Laughably bad.
Oh my good lord. I wasn't going to bother reviewing this, but I had downloaded it to watch on a long boring train journey and I forced myself to watch it and I need payback. I actually found myself laughing out loud on the train at some of the abominable, laughable dialogue and the acting is beyond atrocious. I have to pick out Olga Kent here. She literally cannot deliver a single line with anything approaching credibility. Daniel Stison thinks that good acting is grunting every line. There is zero chemistry between them so when he abandons her to go and risk his life to save her and she says "Dont go John", followed by "I can't live without you!" I nearly spat my coffee.
Some here have praised the action sequences. What??? They look like a paintball battle in the director's daddy's back garden. Also the villains are so abominably stupid and useless that they keep running into bullets for no apparent reason.
Please, I beg you, only watch this if you have no other choice and you need a good belly laugh.
How was this even funded?
Paradise Beach (2019)
Total flop
I am a big fan of Sami Boujila and watched this because of him and because I enjoy gritty french crime movies. What a disappointment. I am sure they all had a blast spending a few weeks filming in Thailand but as viewers we have been left with and unpleasant, stupid and dreadfully plotted mess. Even Tarantino always has a moral point of view in his films. You always know what the right is from wrong. One of the problems with this film is that everyone (male) in this film bar one are rotten. When the lead character is so rotten to the bone and devoid of any empathy, you don't have a film. Full stop. We stop feeling sorry for him within minutes. Lets forget this one was ever made and move on, especially you Sami.
Disparu à jamais: Guillaume (2021)
Pleasant Suprise
This is a solid adaptation of a good Corben yarn. Tightly directed but with no fuss, some excellent performances and plenty of twists and surprises. Really enjoyed it.
La influencia (2019)
Good story badly told
Imagine a bad cook trying to make hearty soup. Get everything in your kitchen and chuck it into a pot and imagine it will turn out ok. What you get is every cliche of every horror film you've ever seen thrown together with a weak narrative. Sadly boring and un-engaging.