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Bad Magic (1998)
Finally Saw It.... Words Cannot Express....Can't Compute
One star is my rating, but not because I hated it. I loved it. This deliriously bad film might just be the crown jewel in the Polonia Brother's filmography. It is amazingly terrible. From the grade Z effects to small town Pennsylvania subbing for New York City, to the agonizing dialog to the ridiculous acting and costumes... Dear lord, I didn't want it to end. This is truly so terrible that it is great. Seeing the usual Polonia "actors" cast as crackheads, gang members and hoes was incredible. I was laughing, and just amazed watching this film. Out of all the bad movies that the Polonias made, this one is screaming for a DVD release. The VHS is impossible to find. This might be my favorite Polonia film.
Funniest Movie I've Ever Seen
This movie killed me. I'm a huge Tim and Eric fan, and I can say without a doubt, if you like their humor, you will love this film. They have truly taken their humor to the next level. Like the best comedy, it is truly polarizing. You either love it and think its brilliant or you hate it and think its stupid. The trailblazers in any field are those who take risks and don't worry about pleasing everyone. The rest of TV is like that, which made me love Tim and Eric so much ever since "Tom Goes To The Mayor" because they are so apart from the pack and against the grain. Besides that, this film is just plain hilarious. Dark, sure, not the same as the show, sure. But the key is that its incredibly funny. If you don't like Tim and Eric, you won't like the film. Its that simple. Try watching some of their stuff online, and if you dig it, you will dig the film. They've stayed true to their vision, and have created an amazing film.
Friday the 13th (2009)
This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. This could have and should have been great. Instead, it sucks. This movie really sucks. And, it sucks, as well. It really sucks, overall.
Iron Man (2008)
Good as an Iron Man movie could be.
Pretty damn good adaptation of one of my favorite Marvel titles. The first half is better than the second, with a strong revenge thread getting lost in the bigger picture of the whole story. As a straight adaptation of a classic Marvel story, this gets utmost props, as a movie on its own, its starts out excellently then is somewhat crushed under its own high-tech power. Look out for cameos by Ghostface Killer and Tom Morello. Overall, as good as an Iron Man movie could be, and I'm happy for that. I just wish Marvel would pay less attention to the Emo-Critic crowd and deliver the goods more. The first half of the film delivers a bigger emotional punch than the second half, which suffers from a little bit of the old emotional over-indulgence. All in all, it was an enjoyable, cool flick that didn't hurt an old shellhead fan's intelligence, but flirted with a little bit of the Emo over-indulgence that ruined "Spiderman 2" and "Hulk" for me.
Funniest Show on TV
This show is completely hilarious. A totally absurd, insane, bizarre style of humor that is sadly missing from most of TV. There hasn't been anything as gleefully wacked out as this since "Stella", which, in my opinion was the funniest thing on TV when it was on. Luckily, this show is garnering a huge cult following and not tanking in the ratings department. This show is alternately disorienting, disturbing, brilliant, hilarious to the point of near pants peeing and sometimes its all these things at once. There humor is polarizing, but I'd say most of the people I've introduced it to love it, with a small minority being not into it. I can't praise it enough. In this age of lame, extremely predictable comedy, Tim And Eric are twin harbingers of fresh air. Am I at 10 lines yet? Yep. Anyway, best comedy on TV and please keep it up!
I went into this movie with low expectations. I was drinking away a hangover, popped 'er in. I was surprised at how hilarious it was. As a matter of fact, its the funniest movie yet from Broken Lizard. Unfortunately it bombed at the box office, so hopefully it won't be their last. Why is it that funny? Because it not only insanely over the top and absurd, its about a huge drinking contest. Its also a little smarter than it seems, poking fun at the whole genre of "dudes in their 30s who band together to do something." I was laughing from beginning to end, which is what you want a comedy to do. Make you laugh. I don't know why people don't like this movie. I found it way funnier than "Club Dread" and about as good as "Super Troopers".
Stupid And Fun
This film is fun and enjoyable once you get past the horrible film quality. Hanft's earlier film, "Kill The Moonlight" looks way better than this film, due to that film being shot on 16mm and this one being shot on what looks like video. Beyond that, the film is fun, pretty stupid and contains some excellent characters and freaky situations. Beck is really good as "Bek" and the scene involving him (the new age keyboard party) seems like it was written with "Midnite Vultures" era Beck in mind. There are some funny situations and Beth Orton is pretty sexy in it. Overall, if you like weird, low budget movies, late 90s "indy" rock, Beck or any combination of these things, you will enjoy the film. I'll admit, I didn't like it at first, but the end I was enjoying it. (Maybe this has to do with the fact that I was also drinking cheap wine.)
This film is best enjoyed as a purely visual film. The plot is convoluted, the pacing is poor, some of the acting sucks. But, as a purely visual, abstract, dreamlike experience it mostly works. There are some really mesmerizing, scary sequences, and others that fall a little short of Argento's genius. Its not quite as good as "Suspiria", although it is a very similar film. Argento is an amazing talent, but some of his films, like this one, are somewhat of a mixed bag. As a purely visual director, his attempts to embellish plot and character usually sort of throw a wrench in the works. It would be great to see him direct a film that has little to no dialog and story and strictly focus on imagery.
California Suite (1978)
Wait, Neil Simon is supposed to be a good writer? Uh, what? This film has some of the worst dialog I have ever heard in a film. And it reflects poorly on Mr. Simon. Anyone who thinks people talk like the poorly executed characters in this film is either a hermit who hasn't had a conversation with someone besides himself in many years or just a damn nerd. The film is advertised as being a fun ensemble comedy, what with the fanciful DVD cover portraying an excellent cast all jivin' and groovin' together. The opening scenes get you interested, with all these interesting characters converging at a fancy hotel. From there the movie spirals downward, with Commie-sympathizer Jane Fonda and Alan Alda in a severely boring and poorly written post divorce argument. After that we get to see the immense talents of Cosby, Pryor and Michael Caine wasted on substandard material. The only reason this film gets a 3 and not a 1 (or a Zero) is Walter Matthau's hilarious performance. Matthau is so naturally funny that he can breathe life into this dead and bloated script. And even the Matthau segment is horribly resolved. This is a terrible film, and a massive waste of many great acting talents. I'm convinced that Neil Simon stole "The Odd Couple" script from someone else. I can't believe that the same person responsible for that classic could write something so horrendous as this clunker.
Beer League (2006)
Fun guy flick
If chicks can have chick flicks like "the Last Kiss" and all that bullsh*t, guys can have guy movies. This is a great guy's sports comedy in the tradition of "Slap Shot" and "Bad News Bears" (the original.) Its down to earth, low budget, profane, offensive and all around fun. Artie is great (and looks about 100 pounds lighter than he is now.) Seymour Cassell is a riot and everyone else turns in decent performances. The great Joe LoTrulio, of "the State" is a little under-used, but he's still great as the "team psycho" character. The black guy from Mr. Show is great as well (can't remember his name). The only thing in this movie that offended me is that they are all Yankees fans (I'm from Massachusetts). Well, Yankees suck, Jeter blows, A-Rod swallows and this movie is great!