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B'day: June 20,1989
State: 'Bama,y'all XD
Hobbies: Laughing, singing, hanging with friends, talking on phone & comp, being goofy, reading, & driving down back roads
1. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.
4. Aww, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
5. Wait... I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
6. You laugh because I'm different; I laugh because you're stupid.
7. Next time you get the urge to think...don't.
8. Would you kindly shut your noise hole?
9. You have no idea how acutely depressing it is to realize we're from the same species.
10. Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
11. On your way down the banister of life, may your butt collect tons of splinters.
12. If they don't like how I drive they can get off the sidewalk.
13. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
14. Oh yeah? You wanna step out of the giant robot and say that again?
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. My mind is like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in most states.
17. I may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. I really am an idiot.
18. Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
19. Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
20. I have an alien names Jammin'-Jimmy-Joey-Jane. He tells me to burn things. Isn't that funny?
21. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life.
22. If it wasn't for my random motions, blurtings and actions, I'd be as normal as you.
23. Of course I have friends! I have Jerry, he's the one standing behind you with the machete.
24. It's not that I'm antisocial, I just think everyone should be banished to Uzbekistan.
25. When the people come, don't call where they're taking you the land of the magic white jackets. It makes them drive faster.
26. Coincidence is just a euphemism for conspiracy.