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Nezha nao hai (1979)
Chinese version: WONDERFUL English dubbed version: A TRAVESTY
I remember Nezha being my first Chinese Anime I have ever seen (for the longest time, I thought this movie was Japanese or Korean, since I seen both Japanese and Korean dubbed versions of this movie).
The animation is beautifully crafted and very detailed. The plot is also good too. It's about a boy named Nezha (I thought he was a girl at first though. What is it with anime and feminine looking males?), his fight against the dragons, the sacrifices that he made and his resurrection into godhood.
However, avoid the English dubbed version of this movie like a virus. The dubbing is awful. Nezha sounds stuffy, the fake Chinese accents were grating and worse yet, the authentic Chinese soundtrack was replaced with cheesy synthesizer music. Worst Americanization of an Anime (besides Lensman, another victim of bad Americanization back in the 1980's). No wonder China has been angry at the western world.
Luckily, it looks like the subtitled version is more widely available. I recommend you seeing this. It is proof that not all anime is 100% Japanese.
It's probably been said before, but this movie is a classic.
Okay, it may not be faithful to the book (then again, has there ever been a novel based movie faithful to the books?), but it's still a lovable film with charm and character.
The special effects in this film are rather realistic looking. That's kind of ironic, because this is one of these films where the special effects are more realistic than the ones in the remake. And the remake was made in 2005! What does that tell you? The plot is rather good too. Sure, like I said, it strays from the book in some ways, but the characters seem to be more faithful to the book. Charlie is a normal human boy with flaws like everyone else. Violet isn't a tomboy and has a feminazi mother, Veruca throws tantrums and screams and the TV addict boy is smart as well as smart allecky. And Willy Wonka seemed more likable in this version as well.
My favorite parts are the Oompa Loompa songs and the creepy boat ride scene. Come on, who wasn't freaked out by the boat scene when they were little? Sad that they don't make movies like this anymore. I recommend this movie all the way!
Tim Burton's worst film
Okay, I'm a fan of Tim Burton and I also think Johnny Depp is talented (seems like I'm one of the few girls who likes Depp not just for his looks), but I think they both blew it big time when remaking Willy Wonka.
Okay, neither version are that faithful to the book (which movie is faithful to books?), but I liked the 1971 version of Willy Wonka a lot better. In the book and 1971 version, Charlie has human flaws, Violet is a girly girl and the TV addict is smart. With this version, they throw everything out the window. Charlie is a perfect little saint, Violet is a feminist tomboy (catering to Politically Correct beliefs of Americans maybe), Veruca is nowhere near as obnoxoius as she was in the old movie and book and the TV kid is dumb and plays video games (another half-@$$ misguided message that video games rot your brain is being featured in this film. Video Games do NOT rot your brain!).
Oh, did I mention the special effects? The computer graphics in this movies were awful and fake looking. I mean blueberry girl Violet looked totally fake and the CG look outdated, even for a Tim Burton movie.
And finally... WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO THE OOMPA LOOMPAS? They're no longer green and orange, and they sing RAP SONGS! This screams 1995 instead of 2005.
Even talented Johnny Depp looked like he was bored and was overacting. That's sad, because Depp can do so much better.
If you like Burton, watch Nightmare Before Christmas or Corpse Bride. If you like Depp, watch Pirates of the Caribbean. If you like Dahl in general, read the book or watch the 1971 movie.
But if you want to watch train wrecks with outdated special effects and lame jokes, watch this movie. However, watch it at your own risk!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)
A grave insult to the original Eastman and Laird graphic novels. What were they thinking?
I loved the TMNT graphic novels when I was little. They were dark, they were even scary at times, yet it was charming and enjoyable by even the most discriminatory comic book and manga goers.
When I heard there was going to be a TMNT animated series, I was excited. That day in 1987 (or was it 1988), I tuned in to it for the first time. I was outraged and started seeing red after watching this show. I ended up watching this on Saturday mornings because I was waiting for the Super Mario Bros Super Show to come on.
This is like turning a PG or PG-13 comic into a G rated Disney fare. I can see why I liked the first live action movie so much better. Shredder in the comics is scary, menacing and just plain blood thirsty. I hate what they did to him in the cartoon. They turned Shredder into a goofy Disney villain wannabe with bumbling sidekicks Rocksteady and Bebop (who were NOT in the original comics). Krang was not scary anymore and was toned down to be a goofball with an annoying voice. Heck, the voice acting and animation was just intolerable, even by 80's standards. Oh and another thing, WHAT HAPPENED TO ANGSTY EMO RAPHAEL? And wasn't Splinter always a rat and never a human? If you want to see an experience close to Eastman and Laird's works, watch the first live action movie. This animated series is suck a friggin' joke. Or even yet, look for the original graphic novels (not the awful Archie comics version though). You'll enjoy them a lot more, I promise ^_^
Final Fantasy VI (1994)
Meh, there are Final Fantasy games that were so much better...
Final Fantasy VI maybe the most popular and most hyped FF games for the Super NES, but did it really deserve all that hype? To me, it didn't.
The plot started out good on the first half. Tina, the esper hybrid wanting to find out more about herself and after getting amnesia in the town of Narche, she wants to know more about the meaning of life and love. So Lock and friends try everything they could to help her out and make sure Cefca/Kefka doesn't lay a hand on her. The first have is really well done, but this was the first FF game in my books to have some really, truly annoying one-dimensional characters in it. Out of all the 14 characters in this game, only Tina, Lock, Celes, Shadow and Edgar are truly developed. And even some of the truly developed characters can grate on my nerves after a while.
But the part where Cefca destroyed everything, that's when the game totally fell apart. The plot went in circles and the annoying characters of the bunch got even more annoying to the point where I was rooting for Cefca just to kill those panty waist whiners. The ending is also a real cop-out as well. None of the main playable characters die, like they do in the other FF games. And I so wanted that to happen because there were a few that annoyed me to no end. Oh well, at least I wrote a gory fanfic where one of the FFVI characters is granted a slow, painful death.
The gameplay was fun at first. Each character has his/her own unique abillities (eg. Realm-Sketch, Mog-Dance, Tina-Transform, etc.) early on in the game. But as we reach the post-apocalypse part, it gets boring and repetitve. I didn't much like the Esper/Genjyu system as much as I did the other FF systems (though FFVIII's draw system is much worse IMO). After everyone learned all the same spells, their unique abillities were useless and everyone was alike. Rudra no Hihou/Treasure of the Rudras also has flawed gameplay, but at least the characters were likable and didn't get on my nerves.
The soundtrack on the other hand, is very well done and gorgeous. Everyone has his/her own theme and the music is very memorable. My favorite tracks are Realm's theme, Tina's theme, and Dancing mad (the final boss music). This is the only thing that I found remotely flawless about this game.
Overall, FFVI is okay, but it's not the best RPG ever made in my books. If you want good "Final Fantasy" games, play FFIV, FFV, FFXII or even the FFVII franchise. But if you're looking for non-FF RPGS, play the "Seiken Densetsu/Mana" series or the "Valkyrie Profile series. FFVI is worth playing once, but I didn't play it again after that.
Mortal Kombat (1992)
No seriously, is this a fighting game?
No, I have nothing against violent or graphic video games (love God of War and Grand Theft Auto), but too bad gory video games got off on a bad start with rubbish like this.
Even though graphics may have improved with the sequel, but it's still nothing to write home about. In every single game, it looks like the characters move as stiff as Barbie dolls and the attacks are super choppy. Even though the fatality system is an interesting concept, but they relied too much on this gimmick that they forgot about everything else. Killer Instinct did a much better job at the fatality system and is much more funner to play.
The characters, oh the characters...they're all...FUGLY looking. Even the human character don't look human. Everybody has small squinty eyes, big noses pressed up to their face and have so much muscle to the point where it looks disgusting. Even the ugliest Soul Calibur monster is way cuter looking than any of them. Are the female characters suppose to be hot? Because to me, they look like light weight males with fake boobs, they don't even look remotely feminine. And they're all as interesting and likable as dog poop. Despite their separate fatalities and move sets, they characters seem to have no real personality outside of that.
The only reason why I played this series is because kids were egging me on to playing this crap and I wanted to prove to them that I'm no "Barney lover" or "Pokemon fangirl". I even gave the sequels a chance, but no can do. I just simply loathe it.
If you want good gory video games, play Grand Theft Auto or God of War.
If you want a good fighting game with an interesting plot, lovable characters and good top notch quality, play the Soul Calibur series.
If you want a fighting game with a decent fatality system, play Killer Instinct.
If you want a good game in general, play "Final Fantasy XII" or "Legend of Zelda: Twillight Princess".
If you want to play overrated tripe that gets too much hype, play "Mortal Kombat" (or what I call it "Major Krapage").
Soulcalibur III (2005)
An excellent fighting game with plenty of cute girls.
Soul Calibur has always been my favorite fighting game series of all time. And SCIII is my favorite one of the series.
The graphics are very well done. Much bigger improvement over the choppy polygons in Soul Edge/Soul Blade. The characters have facial expressions, hair blows in the breeze and they even blink.
Soul Calibur has always been known for it's interesting plots and characters and SCIII is no exception. Each character has his/her background story that is detailed and well done. My favorite character is Chai Xianghua. She's cute, she's funny and she's a strong female character. Yeah, I know she wears pink and has a boyfriend (who she ends up saving BTW), but there seems to be more to her than that. Xianghua, like all the other characters, have flaws and upsides to their personalities, so no character is perfect, not even the good guys.
The music is beautifully composed for a fighting game series. It doesn't sound kitchy (the Vampire series) nor does it sound like old school porn film soundtrack (Mortal Kombat). The characters have their own themes and a lot of the themes are done to match the culture of that certain part of the world. I don't think there is a song on this soundtrack I don't like.
Another cool thing about this game is to create your own anime-like character (Create a Soul). You could make him/her look as cute or as sexy or even ugly if you like. However, if you found a character customization that you like, remember to take notes, or else you won't remember how you created that character. I found myself being very addicted to CaS.
Overall, I think Soul Calibur is my number one fighting game series of all time. It has everything I asked for. What more could I want?
Worse than "Manos: The Hands of Fate", "Monster a Go-Go" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" put together
I was forced to watch this movie by one of my ex-friends, who is a major Britney Spears fan. And man, I just couldn't take it. I spent most of my time screaming, whimpering and banging my head against the wall.
It's a stupid teen movie that is clichéd to the max. It's basically about Britney Spears and her friends going on a roadtrip after being reunited with each other. Yes, that's the plot. and besides, Britney Spears is so talentless, that she makes Pia Zadora look like Mae West.
I swear, at least Spice World was the "so bad it's funny" type movie, but Crossroads is in the Manos class, as in "so bad it's traumatizing".
But at least I got even and showed my ex-friend "Manos the Hands of Fate". And I don't regret it either.
One word: OVERRATED
What is soooo great about "Roseanne"? Some say it's realistic, but if she got away with some of that stuff in real life, she would be frowned upon by many.
Why do all the women sleep with anything in site? What example is this to set. And the fact that they never heard of birth control or abortion clinics is just as much insulting. Where these people worried about angering Christians? Why mention homosexuality, but not different types of birth control? That's what I don't get.
Then there is the portrayal of lesbians that offended me. Not all lesbians cross dress like men and hate men. Heck, I've had some lesbian friends that look and dress like women and have male friends. I think that is more insulting than empowering.
Of course Roseanne is simply just a *****. She steals, she almost resorts to alcoholism, is a hypocrite and she is rather sexist. What do I mean by sexist? Her constant jokes about how women should not go nude, yet she calls all men that are straight perverts and pigs. Now if she were insulting Jews, Arabs, Blacks, Hispanics or Hmong people, she would be in so much trouble.
I'm sorry, but I had to get that out. I just can't stand that wench.
Fainaru fantajî V (1992)
My #1 Final Fantasy
Yes, I admit, there are some of the Final Fantasy games I like before FFVIII and the other latter titles came out. But Final Fantasy V sticks to me like bees stick to honey.
The story is in three parts: Butz's world (trying to save the crystals), Galuf's world (Galuf trying to stop the main evil himself) and Ex-Death's world (Destroy the Void and the evil mage himself). Without spoiling any of the plot or characters, you'll be pleased with the story and the likable cast of characters. Who says you need a big cast when you can have a few wonderfully developed cast. Not to mention the job system is very fun and addicting. You can even mix and match abilities.
The only flaw is the graphics and sound. The graphics look EXACTLY like FFIV's graphics. And even though the soundtrack was good in some spots, but a lot of the music sounded way too happy and perky. Sounds more like a kiddy game music than it does earth in distress music.
Just too bad this FF got overshadowed by FFIV and FFVI and was never released in America in trhe SNES days. It's far superior to FFVI in story, gameplay and characters. Play it and give it a chance.