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I am a guy that loves film. Film is my favorite thing ever. I thank Thomas Edison for the invention of film.
NOW! My Awards for 2013:
BEST FILM OF 2013: GRAVITY
WORST FILM OF 2013: WARM BODIES
I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF I WATCHED THIS FILM AWARD OF 2013: PRISONERS
BIGGEST DISAPOINTMENT OF 2013: MOVIE 43/INAPPROPRIATE COMEDY
MOST ANTICAPATED FILM OF 2014: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
LEAST ANTICAPTED FILM OF 2014: THINK LIKE A MAN TOO (Hated the first one that was just a dumb soapy movie. This is probably going to be worse.)
Parody and Musical
Most Hated Films
Paranormal Activity 1 and 2
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Series
Get Him To The Greek (I cannot believe people like this)
Cats and Dogs 2 (Check out my review of that cliche)
I hope to expand on this more. But enjoy my reviews!
P.S I like to be a idiot on the soapbox board sometimes.
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Finding Dory (2016)
It's No Finding Nemo. But It Will Have To Do.
I really enjoyed Finding Nemo, it was a great film about family and had a lot of heart wrenching moments and it was really funny and had some great characters. When I heard they were making a sequel, I was like "Yeah. I think that could work."
Before I go into the plot of the movie, I wanted to tell you what I thought the movie was going to be about and how it disappointed me from the first trailer they showed. I thought this was going to be about Dory of course, but I also thought they were going to make a movie that took place in Nemo's teen years and maybe how Marlin has to let go from Nemo as he is growing older but is still paranoid about the dangers in the ocean. That would have been a stronger story.
What do we get? Well, Dory has memories of her parents and gets help from Marlin and Nemo to find them. She gets captured and put into an aquarium and finds out her parents are there. Meanwhile, Marlin and Nemo try to find a way to get her back.
The problem I have is that it takes one year after Finding Nemo. Which means Nemo hasn't grown up as much as I wanted to. This leads to uninteresting chemistry between father and son mainly because the two haven't changed at all from the first film.
Another problem I have is the characters. With movies like The Lego Movie, Big Hero 6, Kung Fu Panda 3, characters in animated movies have become more rich and diverse making them leave a permanent spot in everyone's hearts.
Hank was a character I didn't know I was supposed to like until he helps Dory try to evacuate the blue tang fish from a tank that is being loaded into a truck. His main plot point is that he wants to be in a permanent aquarium in Cleveland. This seems like an interesting plot point until Dory says No he can't because life happens by chance and is basically told to be in the ocean.
This is a big problem I have with this movie. Great plot points being tastelessly thrown away. There is a very great moment when Marlin and Nemo reunite with Dory. Nemo asks his dad if they have to say Goodbye to her if she finds her family and Marlin answers Yes.
Now this is the moment that made me angry. This could have been an emotionally powerful moment in the film if Dory did find her parents (Which she does) and would have to say her farewells. You know what does happen when she finds her parents?
They all go back to the Great Barrier Reef living happily ever after.
Wow. This is the most insulting thing Pixar has ever done. To have such a great piece of dialog, such a great piece of writing and emotion that could actually happen and be extremely powerful moment in the whole entire film RUINED by a crappy ending. Andrew Stanton, who I loved for making Finding Nemo and WALL-E, has created an ending that is a huge antithesis of Dory's story that is sugarcoated to the point of puking rainbows.
This doesn't mean I didn't like it, I thought the film was completely OK for a Pixar movie but it needed stronger story and characters. The climax is fun, Dory reuniting with her parents is a rewarding moment in the film, the animation if fine for the most part but is a huge downgrade when you see the 'Piper' short film before the feature presentation.
For fans of the first film who have been waiting for a long time to see this movie, you'll have to go in with lower expectations. The film is not nearly as emotional as the first and it feels almost more like an unintentional cash grab by Disney and Pixar. Kids will enjoy it fine but the movie lacks lots of things I wanted it to be.
It's All About The Time.
If you couldn't tell, Alice Through The Looking Glass is about time itself. There is even a person named Time played by Sacha Baron Cohen. I like the idea of time in this movie. He ends peoples lives by closing stopwatches and puts the stopwatches in the deceased section of his castle. But he is probably the most inept character in the whole entire film.
Before I begin talking about what I liked, let me tell you what me and my sister (who went to see the film with me) really disliked. The movie is extremely preachy with it's message. It hammers it into are heads giving us brain damage in the process. The message of Time is precious is a dumb and obvious message. OF COURSE TIME IS PRECIOUS! Who wouldn't think that? The whole movie is Alice traveling in time. Time trying to restore time. Alice trying to restore time. Saving the universe from time itself. It is the most ridiculous thing ever.
Why do we have to have this overused and obnoxious message slammed into our faces? I like messages in movies that are vague. The Lego Movie which I continue to talk about to this day has a very great message but it's also vague enough for everyone to see. This movie is too preachy and tells us the message right away at the beginning of the movie and has extremely heavy handed symbolism to play with.
Now that I have gotten that out of the way, the movie is absolutely ridiculous even for an Alice in Wonderland movie. The whole film has a story that is to stupid for it's own good. Johnny Depp's Hatter character you can barely hear what he is saying. It's like hes trying to add a T and a H to every sentence he says. The movie has way to predictable lines and twists that most people can see coming from miles away. The movie is dumb. That's what I'm trying to say.
I would say from what I have told you that it's a so bad it's good movie, but in fact, I mostly enjoyed a lot of moments in the film in all seriousness. The colors and visuals are much more sharper and cleaner then it's 2010 counterpart which is a huge refreshment, Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen is fun and has more character. I enjoyed the scenes with younger versions of the Wonderland characters.
But unfortunately, some of the acting is stuff you would see in a Wachowski Siblings film. Dry, Deadpan and emotionless. James Bobin (Who made the fantastic 2011 Muppets Movie) could have done a much better job with the actors. The movie needed more flare in emotion instead of focusing on solely and only on it's message.
If you don't know whether or not you should see Alice Through The Looking Glass, I suggest you wait for it to come to Netflix or Blu Ray. The movie can easily be skipped. But if you really want to see it, then go in knowing this is like a Sunday School Class only about time.
It's a really good film in my opinion, but unfortunately, the movie is rather too preachy.
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
It's Hard to Top The First Avengers Movie...
After The Avengers came out back in 2012, Marvel Studios had a crap year back in 2013 with the release of a lot of bad superhero movies including the second Thor and the Third and Final Iron Man. 2014 seemed to be a much better year, but unfortunately, nothing Marvel Studios topped The Avengers. 2015 was when Age of Ultron came out and I was disappointed to find out that it was inferior to the first film and that Ant-Man was nothing special.
Now you would think with Captain America Civil War, Which features Spider-Man, Black Panther, and big battles, Anthony and Joe Russo would try to top The Avengers. Unfortunately, the truth is, you can't top The First Avengers Movie. No matter how hard you try, you're already in a been there done that situation.
Now that doesn't mean to say that Civil War isn't a good film, it really is. The story is about The Avengers team dividing into factions so that they can stop tearing the world apart with destruction. Iron Man/Tony Stark is on the Government's side while Captain America/Steve Rogers is on the independent side of things. The two duke it out in big battles, including a twenty minute one shot entirely in IMAX.
The first thing I need to get off my chest is Spider-Man. After the disastrous Sony Reboots that ruined Harry Osborn, Peter Parker, Aunt May and Peter's Parents, I was hoping there would be a light at the end of the tunnel for this Spider-Man to be not only good, but amazing. So when Tony Stark goes to Queens to meet Peter, I was hoping nothing would be ruined.
Anthony and Joe have done an stellar job with this Spider-Man. Tom Holland is not the best Spider-Man in my eyes, but he is a hell of a lot better than Andrew Garfield. The only problem I had was that the Aunt May's in these movies keep getting younger and younger. I'm so used to the trilogy's Aunt May that it's hard for me to accept different forms of her.
Spider-Man is funny, he is cool, he has a bunch of different moves, he is what I want in a superhero character. Considering he is my all time favorite superhero, they did decently with him. I love it when he is fighting Ant-Man and is referencing The Empire Strikes Back.
Black Panther (Chadwick Boseman) is the real show stopper here. He really steals the whole show and is exciting to watch. Boseman's acting as Panther is masterfully improvised with a south African accent and makes you really want to see him in his own movie (Which will happen eventually.)
Now that I've got the things I want to talk about done. How was the rest of the movie? The acting was... good. The visuals were... good. The action was... good. The story was... good OK Look I can't really say much that has already been explained but the whole point is that the movie is just good. Nothing spectacular or anything to rave over, it was just a perfectly good movie that begins Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Look, the stand out characters in the movie were Ant-Man, Black Panther and of course Spider-Man. They are fun to be around. Robert Downey Jr's Iron Man is actually likable for once and the villain is quite clever. The end was kind of a bit lacking. I mean, I guess Captain America won the fight but it's like Iron Man is perfectly fine a few days later? I know I wasn't expecting any death between these characters as Chris Evans And Downey Jr have Infinity War left on their list but at least make it more clear. The ending had me a bit confused as I stumbled out of the theater but then I got it soon after.
Look, It's everyone's duty to see the next Captain America because it's basically part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and everyone has seen all the films basically. Go see it on a Monday like I did so that you won't have to deal with a crowd. It's a good Matinée that will keep you entertained from beginning to end.
Ratchet & Clank (2016)
Everybody Including me has spoken. It's the Best Video Game Movie ever.
Back at Sony's E3 Conference in 2014 (I think) Insomniac Games released a trailer for a Ratchet and Clank Movie. I had never played the games so I did not know whether to be excited or untrustworthy of it. I like some video game movies. The First Tomb Raider and The First Resident Evil I thought were good films, Hit-man Agent 47 is a guilty pleasure. But things like Resident Evil Afterlife and other films can lead to annoyance. I was actually excited to see the movie after it came out. So Today I went with my sister to see the movie as my introduction to the universe.
This is easily the best video game movie ever made and audiences (the fans and children) have spoken. Is it the best in animation or story? No. But it's easily more attractable than the new Angry Birds movie coming in a few weeks.
The story follows our titular characters as they and the Galactic Rangers are on a mission to stop Chairman Drek from destroying planets to make a new one. It's basically a save the world plot.
The characters have colorful personality to them. Captain Qwark is easily the best character in the entire movie because of how stupid funny he is. Ratchet and Clank are great heroes and I'm glad they got the original voice cast for them because it would feel way to unnatural to have someone else do the voices for them.
The comedy is even clever. A Wilhelm Scream joke appears in the movie that took me a second to get, Captain Qwark being useless is funny, the texting jokes, Ratchet and Clank has a lot of things that are funny in it and the movie even has Easter Eggs from Jak and Dexter and Sly Cooper.
The animation looks a little more expensive then it does. With 20 million dollars put into this movie, the film stumbles upon the fact that it could have done more if the movie was more well advertised. Making 5.5 million worldwide on this Sunday, I can't help but feel that there is a lack of an audience for this film. The kids may want to see it but the fans of the games will really want to see it. But will there be anyone else who would want to see a movie based on a early 2000's video game?
Ratchet and Clank is probably what many people will consider to be the first good video game movie. An audience lacks for it, but I feel there will be enough appeal for a home video and digital market. If you have the time, support the film and give it a chance. It's not as bad as most people will think it is.
Mother's Day (2016)
Overlong, Pretentious, Unfunny, Pointless Holiday Crap
Mothers Day is a pretentiously overlong holiday movie that feels like it was made by aliens. Garry Marshall's third holiday movie is one of the most inept and pointless movies of this year. Why in the world did they think the concept of Mother's Day would be a good idea? If you can be creative about it, it might have worked, but instead we get a horrendously offensive comedy that has no originality whatsoever.
I can't even remember any of the plot of this movie because they focus way too little and way too much on one plot to another. Kate Hudson's plot is skipped over completely until the last thirty minutes, Jennifer Aniston's plot is focused on way too much, the Julia Roberts plot is a pointless infomercial to sell Mood Pendants and the Jason Sudeikis plot is about a guy who can't stop mourning his dead wife who got shot in the head by terrorists or something.
That tells you how entertaining this movie is.
The acting feels unnatural and not human. Jennifer Aniston goes on rants and talks to herself like she is in a mental ward, Sudeikis being dramatic falls flat. Everyone else feels tired and dopey. Their comedic bits are what kill the movie.
The comedy involves a lot of offensively unfunny things. Racial Minorities being treated by police like animals, candy getting stuck in vending machines, someone falling of a balcony and getting their foot broken and to top it all off with a overdone asthma attack that takes them to the Emergency Room. Because that's funny. Having an asthma attack on a family holiday.
Very rarely did I ever get a laugh out of this movie. The funniest thing is when Kate Hudson's parents show up and find out shes married. That is the comedic highlight of the movie people.
Mother's Day is also way too long. Clocking in at nearly two hours, the film should have been 86 minutes long. But instead the plot(s) drag out way too long and make everything boring and frustrating to watch.
The only target audience this movie will please is seniors because it's safe and non risk taking. Mother's Day the horror movie is probably five times better than this Mother's Day.
If you're wanting to see something new this week, Watch Keanu or Ratchet and Clank, those two movies at least aren't under 30 on Metacritic. This movie is a sharp pain that I wish would end and I thought it never would.
Brutally Funny! Rupert and Ron are perfect!
Having no idea what this film was about, I decided to watch it on Netflix last night. I was absolutely blown away by how funny and original this movie is. It's probably one of the best comedies of the decade. Rupert Grint has only starred in so few movies after Harry Potter, but this movie proves he could be on top of the box office like Radcliffe and Watson.
The plot is based on the moon landing conspiracies. Jonny is a unsuccessful band manager who is in deep trouble with a crime boss. When CIA Agent and Haunted Vietnam Fighter Kidman mistakes him for Stanley Kubrick's agent, he gets them to make a fake moon landing movie that would be shown live on TV. The money is stolen and Kidman teams up with Jonny and his drugged up pal Leon to make that fake moon landing film.
The genius of Moonwalkers is it's atmosphere. The highly hostile and dangerous British Environment makes for some actual funny jokes and absolutely fun characters. The characters don't just develop, they grow. Kidman and Jonny are great to be around and have huge development leaps in characters.
The other characters like Renatus, an art house film director are significant and hilarious. Leon is one of the best characters in the movie especially in the climax of the film when they are shooting the fake moon landing.
This also happens to be a black comedy filled with heads exploding from sawed off shotguns, teeth being broken, many violent outbursts from Kidman and a violent climax that is nearly perfect. The movie is filled with surprises and laughs.
Moonwalkers could become The Rocky Horror Picture Show of it's time if it was marketed better, had a wide release and had more critical praise. It's destined for a cult following.
The Jungle Book (2016)
Jon Favreau's Best Film in Years and A Huge Success for Disney!
Over the course of 6 years, Jon Favreau has went downhill in Quality. After the critical bomb we know as Iron Man 2, Favreau made Cowboys and Aliens, an awful Cowboys and Indians science fiction film that bombed. Now when The Jungle Book Came out, I was hoping this movie wouldn't be another bad film by him. Having not seen Chef, I went in hoping it wasn't bad.
Oh my god! It was actually great! Favreau has made his first successful blockbuster in over 8 years!
I'm not a fan of the original Jungle Book animated film, not to say it wasn't bad, it was good. But I felt it lacked a lot of plot like a lot of Disney Animated films did in that period. Unlike other remakes of movies (Footloose) the movie actually made a bunch of changes that would work and make the movie better.
This is a loose remake of the original book, mostly basing it's plot around the 1967 animated film. So if you've seen the animated film, you already know the plot. But there are a few changes which I have to spoil.
Mowgli of course, lives with the wolves and has to get out before Shere Khan can kill him. The wolves have more depth to them then they ever did in the animated film and even one of them is killed off by Khan which is a huge surprise.
Kaa is a female in this version (Scarlet Johansson) and is a big part of the exposition in the movie where we find out that Shere Khan killed Mowgli's father when he was an infant. Although we never see her again in the movie after this, she is unsettling to watch.
The climax is even awesome. The battle between Mowgli and Shere Khan is spectacular and has lots of flare (literally) and beauty to it. King Louie (Christopher Walken) is played as more of a bad guy in this movie then he really was in the 1967 Animated film. I never really thought of him like that, but it's very interesting to see how everything turns out.
But enough about how good the movie's changes are. The voice actors (Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Ben Kingsley, Lupita N'Yongo) and Neel Sethi are sometimes off on their acting, but most of the time they absolutely nail these performances especially Kingsley as Bagheera.
The movie is scary, exciting, intense, funny, fun, rewarding and a huge success for Disney. After Seeing Cinderella, I didn't know if they could do as good or better than that, but Disney has made something on par with the it. If anything, I would love for Disney to do more of their classic remakes in the future. The Jungle Book is a success, plain and simple.
Hardcore Henry (2015)
Hardcore? Yes. Fun? No.
For 96 Minutes in Hardcore Henry, you think the main silent character of Henry is having a seizure he cannot die from. But you wish he would because he has absolutely no personality whatsoever.
I was following the movie titled 'Hardcore' back when a 6 minute scene hit Youtube in 2014. I was absolutely stunned by the premise. It looked like it could actually work. As I kept my eyes open for this movie, a trailer was released with a new title 'Hardcore Henry' and it looked bloody awesome. So when I saw it today after seeing the reviews, I hoped it would exceed my expectations and be my favorite film of the year so far.
Unfortunately, with movies like these, you need your expectations set very low.
What's the Plot of Hardcore Henry? Hell if I know. From what I understand, the plot involves robots, multiple Sharlto Copley characters, a villain reminiscent of Tommy Wiseau, extreme gore and violence... that's about it.
I could say there is no plot in this film, but to my surprise, there is too much plot. The plot is extremely complicated to follow. Henry gets resurrected as a robot, turns into an absolute killing machine, finds out that Jimmy (Sharlto Copley) is a handicapped person who has multiple versions of himself that he can exit from at any time, also finds out the villain has his memories implanted into other robots for them to fight him which makes absolutely no freaking sense. Why did they make a movie that is suppose to have very little plot have too much plot?! It's ridiculous.
As much as I love Sharlto Copley, his performance(s) cannot save this movie from being over the top crazy and unnecessarily stupid. I couldn't follow his back-story at all.
The main problem I have with this movie is the camera work. It is actually interesting on how it works. They had three people film it. They put a camera headset over their head and when filming started they start doing whatever they need to do. It's actually quite revolutionary in technological advancements for film. But although it's an original idea (Kind of, I mean the Doom movie did the first person shooter thing too) it is horribly done.
The camera always shakes violently and never ever stops to get in focus of where the action is. People complain about found footage movies having too much shaky cam, but this goes to a whole new level of obnoxious. You cannot see the violence or action going on because the camera seems to be having a seizure. Also, the static like effects of the camera are bad also and very annoying. I felt like I was going to fall out of my seat and roll down the theater stairs breaking my legs. That's how bad the camera work is.
The villain. Oh my god the villain is just hilarious. He is the Tommy Wiseau of this generation. I forgot his name (It's some Russian name so I don't know) but his performance is so funny. I could not stop grinning every single time he came on.
Did I like anything? Yeah. I liked the music. The music actually wasn't that bad. Although I feel like the movie could have been done without music, the score is pretty good. With the exception of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now which plays when Henry injects himself with two syringes full of adrenaline. That was probably it though.
It was disappointing to know that something this groundbreaking could go this south of the border. If the camera-work was done better, if there was anyone likable to route for, if the violence and action could be seen, this would have gotten a 90/100 or better. But unfortunately, Hardcore Henry is not the film I hoped for.
Also, I didn't know robots had flesh that was made out of paper. Seriously, robots can just rip their own hearts out with no problem.
It's Really Not A Bad Movie Guys.
Batman Vs Superman Dawn of Justice is an interesting spectacle. It's this year's biggest opening so far and was dismissed by critics and a few people in the audience. But also, it's a film that's been wildly anticipated and is now doing slowly at the box office as we close in on it's second week.
It's seriously not a bad movie guys.
I mean, I see why people hate it but I really found this to be a breath of fresh air after The Dark Knight Trilogy. My main reason?
It's mindless entertainment.
It was hard for me to pick flaws for this movie, I was just so immersed in Ben Affleck's Batman that I just couldn't pick out flaws. But I think there is one gripe I have with this movie and that is Lex Luthor. He is the son of Lex Senior I guess? We don't really know his father's name. But I'm really mixed about Jesse Eisenberg's performance of him in this. Sometimes he can be really scary, sometimes he can be really really annoying.
But that was the only big flaw I found for me. Other than that, Batman Vs Superman is a blast. Ben Affleck's Batman is one of the great superhero performances I have ever seen. He is different than the other Batman's I have seen and I really enjoyed the new take on him. Wonder Woman was not bad for her first film appearance, Cyborg, Aquaman and The Flash make important cameo roles that are a big part of the story.
On the thing about Mindless Entertainment. I like movies that make you think, don't get me wrong. I like movies with smart and good messages. But as a film critic, you just need a break from those movies sometimes and this movie helped me get away from that for two and a half hours. Like with Man Of Steel, this movie made me feel more relaxed and didn't care about what flaws there were.
This new superhero film in the DC Cinematic Universe has pitch perfect acting from Affleck and Henry Cavill, visually impressive action scenes, great grim cinematography, a standard but absolutely fun plot and a climax that will surely make you cheer for the heroes to win. Batman Vs Superman is a real winner and Zack Snyder in my opinion is going the right direction with the DC Universe.
The Best One Yet! Allegiant is as close to perfect as Dystopian movies can get!
Me and my Sister, who is a fan of the Divergent Series, made our way into an advanced showing of Allegiant tonight at 7:00pm. I was filled with excitement to know another Divergent movie was coming out and I couldn't wait to continue the adventures of Tris and Four.
The movie blew my expectations away.
This is the best Divergent movie yet, it's as close to perfect as a Dystopia can get and it's right up there with The Giver. Fans will surely love it but critics will probably not enjoy it as much as they don't know much about the series. The movie has a 36 on Metacritic I think? But I wasn't bothered by the reviews.
Anyways, Tris, Four, Caleb, Christina and Peter make their way out of Chicago and beyond the wall where they are found by a bureau who wants to cure damaged people (AKA The People of Chicago) by using a serum that will wipe out all their memories. Unfortunately, Four and Tris are not into that plan so it's up to them and the rest of the gang to stop David from Blinding Evelyn into using the serum on the rest of Chicago.
I became a fan of Divergent when the first movie came out. Then I became more of a bigger fan when Insurgent came out. Allegiant hits all the right buttons to make a exciting and fun movie with a point about dividing races and people into groups. Allegiant uses clichés and makes them new, the predictability is there, but invisible, the story is unoriginal, but fresh. It breathes a whole new life into a film that has already been done before and it's one of it's greatest strengths.
Shaliene Woodley still continues to be a better actress then Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games Movies. Again as I was talking about in my Insurgent Review, she is an actress who just want to make movies for the fun of it. Not to win any sort of award, just to act, please audiences and hopefully gain a fan base. She is successful on all levels. The characters are even better than before. I love Peter (Miles Teller) He is likable, a joker, a funny-man, a confused man, a man who is lied to, who is tricked, who is selfish, it's a completely three dimensional character. Speaking of which, all the characters I found to be completely three, if not four dimensional.
Allegiant is bigger than the last two films, having being set in two places, The Outside World where we have the bureau and Providence and Chicago. The designs of Providence and the Bureau are absolutely stunning, some of the sets even have some sort of symbolism. The visuals are great with Providence being the film's high point in special effects.
Last but not least, the movie is very, very intelligent. The film has a great message, it has relationships that are never one sided, it has the ability to be brave, it never stops there.
Allegiant right now is my favorite movie of 2016 and the definitive Spring Break Movie for Youths who want to see outstanding film- making. Director Robert Schwentke leaves us before the final film Ascendant, but he manages to make the story even better than it already was. Allegiant is a must see.
London Has Fallen (2016)
A Mix of Cluster F-Bombs, Offensive Comparisons to Real Life Events, Unlikable Characters and A Depressing Tone. It's Really Bad.
I have not seen Olympus Has Fallen. So I went in blind to London Has Fallen knowing nothing about the first film at all. I was actually excited to see this movie because the premise is actually quite good. World leaders getting attacked all in one place by a terrorist organization? That sounded awesome!
But then it started.
The First thing we see is a family getting killed by air strike. It cuts to two years later where our main hero (I forgot his name, it was something like Mike) is on his way with the President to go to the British Prime Minister's funeral where all the world leaders will be. Unfortunately, this leads to thousands getting hurt and killed including world leaders and huge damages to landmarks. It's up to Mike? I think that was his name? To get the president out of London.
Where do I even begin? First off, lets talk about the use of the F word. Now excessive uses of it can lead to either two things. One, It can lead to some powerful dialog and credibility, or Two, it can be used just because. They picked the second option. I really hated the use of the cluster F Bombs in this film. I think they must have said the F word like 100 times in this movie, in fact, this could be a good drinking game. Yeah, get some bourbon and drink every time someone says the F Word.
The problem with having the F word used so frequently is that it is annoying, it makes the majority of the characters unlikable, it is unsuitable for the horrible writing and it makes everything boring. The main hero swears so much that I really wanted to grab his gun and shoot him in the face for being annoying.
Lets get to our main hero anyway, this guy barely gets hurt. Why do we still have to have movies where the main hero/heroine never gets hurt or is barely scratched? It loses all credibility for the character and it becomes boring to see him never get hit and kill all the bad guys in one shot. Also, he is a racist, he makes unfunny one liners that are cringe worthy and he swears like a freaking sailor.
The movie is actually offensive. Why? Because given the fact that the Paris France attacks happened 5 months ago, making a movie about terrorists killing innocent people and politicians is actually maddening. I know I said I liked the premise, but I thought it was going to be more fictional instead of real.
The movie is extremely depressing having no sort of fun or humor in it, it just reminds me of 9/11 and the Paris Terror Attacks even more.
Also, the cinematography is horrendous. When it goes into night time shots, you can barely see anything. I didn't know what was going on three quarters of the time because the camera didn't have night vision or any brightness to it. Having action scenes take place in the dark without any sort of lighting is a big no no in action movies.
The writing is horrible, the dialog cringe worthy and stupefying. It feels like they wrote the whole script on a whole roll of paper towel.
The acting is bad also. Gerard Butler and any of the other cast members make you loath them. There was no one likable. The performances have no flare. There is one scene where you have to believe Butler wasn't trying at all where he insults a terrorist and tells him to go back wherever he came from. The line delivery is horrendous.
The only thing I liked in the movie was Morgan Freeman's character. When he talks about his vacation to the main hero, I can actually feel like there is some sort of connection and realism to the scene unlike the rest of the movie.
When London Has Fallen was over, I wondered if Director Babak Najafi wanted to point something out. Was it that you can't trust anyone but yourself? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? No. It was to point out the world sucks. How we are in such deep crap that the world needs huge repairing. It was to re imagine real life terrorist events that bring fear and misery to everyone. It's a message of destruction, war and corruption of people. In fact, it's a hate film. (To Describe A Hate Film, it is a film with a discouraging attitude towards it's viewers) London Has Fallen is like that sad, pathetic kid who has no friends and sits at the lunch table alone while everyone bullies him.
The Punisher (2004)
One Of The Most Ridiculous "Dark" Comic Book Movies Ever Made.
I went on Netflix and saw they had The Punisher on there so I thought, why not? I'm up for some action.
To call this movie Dark is an overstatement.
This is one of the goofiest, ridiculous, dark movies I have ever seen. Where to even begin with this? Well, the first 30 minutes acts pretty serious and seem promising. It looks like it's gonna be a movie that is a tale of revenge with an Ennio Morricone like score. But when Frank Castle moves into an apartment that three weird and quirky people live in, my god. It gets so far from dark.
Here are the reasons why the movie is not dark. The sound effects half the time made me think I was playing Half Life 2. Every single sound effect is horribly stock and childish which makes 88% of action scenes stupid.
Some scenes are also stupid. For example, the three quirky people dance and sing to Rigoletto as Frank gets beat up by a guy who is a combination of Hulk Hogan and Waldo. To top things off, he throws a grenade at him, hits it back like a baseball bat and explodes the bathroom while no one notices what is going on.
The film looked grainy and feels like it was made in the 90's. I don't know what the cinematographer was doing using a camera that had ultra grain on it, but seriously, it made the movie look even worse.
Also, the violence isn't very brutal as I was expecting it to be. Sure it's bloody, but nothing brutal or disturbing. Most of the fights end way to fast with the exception of the Hulk Hogan/Waldo guy, especially the final shootout. Some of the action is even over the top.
John Travolta is not a threatening villain. He literally does nothing until the very end. He lets his inept goons do all the work while he either smokes a Cuban or Sits in a leather chair.
So did I like anything about this movie? Because I complained a lot about it being too goofy or not dark.
Well I Enjoyed it.
The whole movie had me laughing at some of the ridiculous acting and dialog, the ending where Howard Saint is blinded by Frank and Mickey to murder his best friend and wife who he thinks she is cheating on him is absolutely brilliant, I enjoyed the three quirky characters, especially the fat guy and the whole movie feels like a modern day western in some respects.
If you want a dark movie, you're not gonna find it here. If you want an over the top action movie with some humor, you'll may find this enjoyable. The Punisher manages to tape itself from falling apart.
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)
One of the Best Animated Movies Ever Made. In The Top 15.
Whenever I go into a Dreamworks movie, I have very low expectations. I expected Kung Fu Panda 3 just to be another style and no substance movie. From the trailers, it looks average at best. But when you actually see the movie for yourself, you will be blown away. I can't say if Dreamworks is actually getting better for myself, but their last few films like How to Train Your Dragon 2 and Home have been better than what they have released in past years. I really think this is one of The Top 15 Best Animated Movies Ever Made. 15 or 14 would take the spot. Here is why.
The story is an old one, cliché also. But it's done in a way that I don't think has been done before. It tries so many new things with this movie giving it a modern twist on a movie where a person with an identity crisis finds himself. That is the main reason why I love Kung Fu Panda 3 so much.
The story? Well, After a spirit warrior named Kai is back in the mortal realm, Po finds his real father named Li Shan where he is overjoyed to see him. In order to defeat Kai, Po must go with his father to the secret panda village up in the mountains where his adoptive father Mr. Ping tags along with them. Can Po be in time to stop himself and the other pandas from being abolished? The threat this time seems bigger than ever.
Yes. The threat in this movie is actually quite threatening. J.K Simmons voices Kai, who takes the Chi of the living Kung Fu masters including Master Shifu and most of the Furious Five which is an actually surprising development. You don't often see a film where most of the main heroes are defeated that easily which is why this is part of this new take on a classic story thing.
The cast is great and Jack Black does his best Po Performance yet. Everyone although some have little screen time are a huge part of the story also even if they are meant to be running gags. That is smart. Really smart.
The animation. My god. This is some of the best animation Dreamworks has ever done. I thought How To Train Your Dragon 2 would top it forever but this is just purely amazing! Every detail is beautiful and the characters are extremely well designed. This is already one of the best animated films of the year and there are many more that I am excited about.
Directors Alessandro Carloni and Jennifer Yuh Nelson have improved greatly on their last series effort, making everything feel more human. The explanation of Chi and the back-story of Kai is also excellent. This was a movie where it was unpredictable, and that is great for Dreamworks doing stuff like this!
If you liked the first two movies, Kung Fu Panda 3 is the one movie you must take your kids to see. I loved it, it is definitely a great movie and I can't wait to get it on Blu Ray. Bravo Dreamworks!
The Final Nail in the Coffin for Jennifer Lawrence's Career
Please understand that I do not hate Jennifer Lawrence as a person as I have seen her on TV and she seems quite cool. But when it comes to her acting, my god. Where do I even begin? Her acting is so terrible that you ears will bleed whenever you hear her try to "Act" Secondly, her "style" of acting is screaming and freaking out over anything stupid or in the least bit not right which becomes very annoying very fast. I wouldn't mind it if she did that once in a while, but when you do it in every single god dang freaking film you're in, it's unbearable. I'll try not to make this a rant about Ms. Lawrence and try to make it about the movie, but it's going to be very hard for me to ignore.
The Final Hunger Games movie is boring and uninteresting. The characters although will live on in many hearts, I'll probably forget them in about 5 months. Josh Hutcherson here gives his best performance ever and I do like him as the role of Pita Bread (Get It?) OK that's not his real name but still he does great. The movie is way too over the top even for Hunger Games. Traps put in the Capitol are way too over the top even for a Hunger Games movie, the 'Climax' is so bad that it went on forever and ever.
Basically this movie shoves too much down our throat at once in this climax. You think the freedom of the capitol is at the end of the movie? No. Then what about the execution of Snow? No. Katniss going home? No. Peeta coming home? NO! How does this stupid thing end? With the most stupidest cliché and insulting ending of all, they have kids. That is it. Nothing else. This movie slapped us all in the face with this horse of an ending that is so disappointing you would want to rewrite the whole entire movie and film it again to get a perfect ending.
But lets not forget the biggest insult of the movie and the most offensive thing, Animal Cruelty. There is a scene where Katniss comes home, screams at a cat to get out of the house, throwing crap at it and hurting it. This is so extremely bad that I wanted to scream ANIMAL ABUSE at the screen in which everyone could hear me and walk out. I cannot let this performance go without consequences.
This is the final straw for me and Ms. Lawrence. I vowed to never watch any of her movies ever again with the exception of X-Men Apocalypse coming out in May. She has hurt me, she has hurt a cat, I hope her career goes down in flames and she will be forgotten about forever. OH SHE DIDN'T HURT IT BECAUSE SHE HUGGED IT AFTERWORDS Well that doesn't say anything about what happened a few seconds ago.
I'm sorry. I really am. I tried not to get angry at her but because her acting is some of the worst I have ever seen I cannot help but moan and whine about it. I hate her acting! I want it to die!
OK. So I complained about Jennifer Lawrence, The Over The Top Traps, The Animal Abuse, The Boring stuff, The Costumes are dumb still. So is there anything I loved? Like, Really Loved? Well, I can say this is not a bad film. It's a mediocre film but Josh Hutcherson as I said is great in this. That's the only thing I can say that would even be worth the price of admission. Nothing else can save this from being the worst Hunger Games movie. I'm sorry fans. But it's true. If you want to send hate mail then please message me telling me how I'm wrong and blah blah whatever you want. Feel free to even downgrade this review. But I'm honest and always have been. So thank you for reading, I hope you have a good day and god save the animals.
The Hateful Eight (2015)
A Review and a Message to the haters.
Dear Haters of Quentin Tarintino's Hateful Eight:
If you are thinking about leaving a dislike on this review, don't bother. You've already done it on Several other positive reviews so why even bother rating a review like this? I will not be discouraged to talk about my opinion and I will not take people shoving hate down this movie without any good reason at all. So If you are a hater of this movie and are going to rate, read and listen. If you're a person who feels discouraged by these reviews, don't worry, I'll tell you everything you need to know.
Without a doubt, The Hateful Eight is a modern masterpiece of cinematic art, Tarintino's movies have been getting much better since Django Unchained was released and that is where the hate seems to start. People are offended by the overuse of the N Word in his movies, but may I remind you that this takes place in the 19th Century when that slang was used most frequently and is an important part of the movie due to it's relationship with the world today with all the police brutality on black people.
It's Misogynist you say? Well, I can't really say anything without spoiling it, so I'll give you some spoilers. Daisy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) is a criminal in the movie who has done filthy things. Yes she gets beaten by John Ruth and Major Warren (Kurt Russell and Samuel L. Jackson) but it's because she is evil. She is the main antagonist for the movie for crying out loud! Do you really think it's not OK to punish a criminal for what the person has done no matter what sex they are? Although it's not seen, it's talked about. She is really rotten in this movie, really. In the end, hanging her was justice. This is not acts of misogyny, it is an act of law and order even if it's done in a sadistic way.
Do I even have to talk about how violent this movie is? We all know it's a Tarintino movie. But the movie has a different way of gruesomeness, it builds up, and up, and up until the climax where everything shatters. People say Oh it's tedious and boring. Not one moment in this film is boring. NOT. A. SINGLE. MOMENT. The whole movie has amazing writing and dialog and twists that will keep you entertained until the end credits. Did you haters just sleep through the second and third act thinking nothing was going to happen? Well guess what. Stuff does happen. We find out the Lincoln Letter (Which is important) is a phony, we find out Warren killed Sanford's son, we find out Daisy works with her brother in a gang, we find out who poisoned the coffee, we find out that the three people working for Jody are not who they say they are, many people are killed. That's Boring!? I have no clue what is wrong with you but you need to get your head checked. None of this was boring, to me at least.
His Epic Fail of a WWII film doesn't work because the dialog is not interesting and nothing happens. Plus it's offensively inaccurate to what happened. Here, The Hateful Eight is a movie that is so well written it may as well be one of the best screenplays of all time.
Let me tell you what I loved about the movie and maybe you can understand why people like it also. I saw the roadshow version (where the projector broke after intermission so we had to watch a digital print) and to tell you the truth, it's resurrecting film. Hearing the projector, looking at the grain of the picture, the sharp picture quality of Ultra Panavision 70 is unbelievable. This is a film to be cherished. The Use of 70 mm film is making a comeback with things like Interstellar and The Dark Knight Rises, Tarintino cares about film so he made a film that was actually filmed with reel to show how much he cares. This was my first time actually seeing a modern movie not only in Ultra Panavision 70, but the first modern movie I saw to have an Overture and an Intermission which I highly defend the use of.
The ensemble cast is excellent here, Samuel L Jackson, Kurt Russell, Tim Roth, Walter Goggins, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Bruce Dern, Zoe Bell and Channing Tatum are all excellent and are dedicated to their performances. Every single line you believe is actually real and coherent.
The writing is superb as I said before, those 3 Hours went by fast and I didn't even know that three hours went by! Tarintino knows how to make an excellent screenplay when the writing is so good that time flies by fast.
The build up is amazing, I was in suspense the whole time and I really wanted to know who would survive this bloodbath. "Boring" this isn't. Not a single moment is boring as I stated.
Look I can't say what all the other positive reviews have said but this experience is one I will remember for a very, very long time. If you are easily offended by gore and language, then you would be better off seeing freaking Norm of the North which comes out next week. But for fans of using actual film reel, film students who want to make movies, people who love Tarintino, and people who like a movie that is gripping throughout, The Hateful Eight is one to see. I don't only think this is one of 2015's best films, I think it's one of the all time best in my opinion. So try watching it again if you had a hard time with it and maybe you can understand what he was trying to accomplish.
Signed, The Reviewer.
Simply Magical, A Dream Come True.
WARNING: Spoiler Heavy Review!
Star Wars The Force Awakens is pure magic. When the movie started and opening crawl slides across the screen, I was blown away by the fact that I was seeing a Star Wars movie in the cinema, in IMAX 3D No less! I never got a chance to see the Originals or Prequels in the theater when the originals were re-released or when the prequels came out. I was young then and I still like watching Star Wars every once in a while, but the hype is strong with this movie and I was part of it. 18 years later after I was born, this new gem comes out and blows everyone including me away with good reason.
The Opening Crawl states that Luke Skywalker has vanished into thin air (He is seen at the end for like 1 minute without any dialogue) and The First Order arises, after Poe, a X Wing resistance pilot is captured by Kylo Ren, he is saved by a first order storm-trooper he calls Finn. They get away and Finn begins his adventure into the Star Wars universe where like in the first film, must get a droid to the resistance base and come across the original characters from the original films.
So if you're worried that this film is too much like the 1977 film (I refuse to call it A New Hope because that wasn't the original title) which the plot borrows from as many of the negative reviews have pointed out, do not worry, as this movie is totally not a clone. This movie has many different elements that it can be it's own separate Star Wars film. There are many nods to the originals with Space Chess appearing, The fights resembling lots like Return of the Jedi and we even get a shot of Kylo Ren looking upon the dead body of Darth Vader (How did he get that body anyways?!)
The direction is clear, J.J Abrams take on Star Wars successfully matches the look to the original films. He wants to please the fans very badly and does successfully so. The original actors (not including Mark Hamill as he is seen for one minute) do well. Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are great, Anthony Daniels as our favorite protocol droid C-3PO could have been fleshed out a bit more as we haven't seen him in a long time. The new actors like Adam Driver, Oscar Issac and Daisy Ridley do fine but John Boyega as Finn overacts a lot which is kind of bothersome. I was very much surprised that BB-8 was actually real. Not a CGI Effect.
The visuals are magical also. The most memorable visual being the destruction of four planets with the first order's planet destroying weapon. The action scenes are well done and for most of the time do not lose steam. When we see the Millennium Falcon for the first time, I laughed and got excited to see it.
Now I want to talk to you about a scene which is very spoiler heavy. So don't read on if you haven't seen it.
Han Solo Dies. Yes. He dies. Many people debated if he would die in this movie from the trailers to everything else and they and I were right. The fact is, It's not that I am shocked because he is one of the original characters and is so popular. It's because he is killed out of nowhere and it's from his own son! Which we will get to in a second, but seriously. I loved this scene. It really impacted the audience and it made me become a mixed bag on if I should really cry or not.
Kylo Ren is a great villain as portrayed by Adam Driver. He is the son of Han and Leia who was taught by Luke, but what made me like him so much is the fact that he is Darth Vader times ten. When he gets furious, it's one of the best things the movie has to offer. He even takes off his mask which made me shocked! I thought we would have to wait for more movies until we got to see him unveiled but Abrams does the unmasking so well!
Star Wars The Force Awakens is so well done that it should be an honorable mention in my Top 10 list and very well so. The movie offers excitement, drama, comedy, homage, and many other things that will have you all get riled up over. It's great and I cannot wait until 2016 for Rogue One: A Star Wars story.
The Good Dinosaur (2015)
Don't Listen to the Haters! This is Pixar's Best Film Since Toy Story 3!
I don't get what your problems are people. Sure it's not a movie for all ages and it's very violent, sure it may not be Suitable For Younger Kids, and Sure it might not be remembered as well as Inside Out. BUT YOU LISTEN HERE. These 'Flaws' You have with the movies are actually it's strengths which The Good Dinosaur has. Do not be discouraged by these snobby haters, this movie is one of the most powerful films I have ever seen and will surely leave a great impact on you once you leave the theater! It's Marvelous! It's a Miracle! It's now one of my favorite movies!
First lets start off with the beginning. This movie acts like a Pre Historic Western. The whole film starts on a farm owned by Dinosaurs! That is new and original. I have never seen anything like this before and it surely wowed me. The characters I can connect to because it reminds me of my family. Our families have strengths and flaws like these characters do. Arlo goes through the most toughest of challenges and is hurt many times. But his pain is our suffering, he overcomes this greatly in the movie and by the very end, he is a more mature young dinosaur and gets the reward it deserves.
Speaking of Rewards, THIS MOVIE IS VERY REWARDING. Oh it's too violent Oh it's too adult Oh it's Immature BLAH BLAH BLAH. NO! This movie is super rewarding and is a tough movie to watch especially for kids. But by the end, they will look back on this experience and learn from what we saw. The whole thing is Pixar's most explicit film yes, but if you don't give it a chance, you will not understand and be covered by fat thick ignorance. I bet these people on here didn't give the movie a stinking chance, but for those who did, the filmmakers probably really appreciate it.
This is a powerful film and I cried lots at the end. Arlo and Spot are probably one of the best duos I have seen in any film. Their relationship is very complex. Arlo is very angry and hateful at the beginning to him but he is forgiving in the end and you want to see them accomplish what they set out for.
But I think everyone can agree that the animation is brilliant and the most realistic out of any Pixar Film to date. I thought I was looking at a animated live action hybrid at some points and that is good animating. The trees, the water, the landscapes, everything is done perfectly.
The only problem I did have with it was that the movie's Villains are very under developed. We barely see them and the movie wants us to think they are threatening which they are, but because everything is else is so well developed it should make sense they should be more developed! But no! They are mostly out of the spotlight for the rest of the movie until the end.
But the climax of the movie is awesome and stunning. There are barely any words spoken at the end of the movie and its last shot remains one of the greatest shots I have ever seen on film. Arlo as I mentioned does overcome his fears which is what we can all relate to. We can all relate to being scared by a lot of things and does the movie say we shouldn't be scared at all? No! The movie actually has this mature theme of even in the greatest moments of battle, you will always be scared. That's just genius and I'm glad they didn't go for some sugar coated bull like Oh don't be scared because that's wrong its OK To be scared!
So I think I have said enough for the movie. This movie is getting unfairly treated like The Hobbit Trilogy and should be respected more. Don't listen to these dumb haters who have no idea what they're talking about. The Good Dinosaur is one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen and has now become one of my all time favorite movies. If you see it, SEE IT WITH AN OPEN MIND! Don't be discouraged! If you didn't like it, Fine I can live with that. If you had some problems with it, That's OK! But don't crap on this movie just because it's not this or not that or whatever! Just watch it and see for yourself!
It's coming close to the end of the year and I think it's safe to say now that The Good Dinosaur is my pick for the Best Movie Of The Year.
99/100 A (I think this is the first time a Movie with a lower rating is my favorite film of the year instead of the higher rated one)
Cobain: Montage of Heck (2015)
Gripping and Grotesque from Start to Finish
Never has there been a more pure, raw, gripping and grotesque documentary as Brett Morgen's Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck. A stirring look into the self destructive life of one of rock and grunge's biggest icons.
Interviews from Courtney Love, Kurt's Parents and Siblings, Bass Player Krist Novoselic is seen while archive footage, old comics and drawings, intense imagery flashes onto the screen shocking and giving viewers a hard boiled look into the life of this great rock star.
Morgen's visual style is seen from using new footage he directed which follows animated sequences and live action film are amazing. The movie also uses footage of inside the human body, gory comics, disturbing drawings such as Snoopy as a Nazi to show the troubled times that Cobain is going through in a most passionate way. Morgen cares about every single detail and doesn't leave anything out and although it can be tiring at times with it's long 2 hour and 25 minute running time, the film never runs out of steam and is as raw as a music documentary can get. No more History of the Eagles or the four hour epic masterpiece Running Down a Dream, this movie is life like. It breathes, it reproduces, it is crazy.
Montage of Heck is one of my favorite movies of 2015, and this movie surely will be nominated for an Oscar.
The Peanuts Movie (2015)
Perfect in every sense of the word. Schultz would be Proud.
If you do not know, I am a huge Peanuts fan-boy. I watch A Charlie Brown Christmas every year and it gets better with age. I also like to watch some of the older specials and movies that came out back in the 70's and 60's. When I heard one of my favorite animated studios, Blue Sky, was making a Peanuts movie I was ecstatic. I loved Peanuts. I couldn't wait for it. 2 years went by when it was announced and now I have finally seen it.
Perfect. Just Perfect.
In Every Sense of The Word, Perfect.
Schultz would be so proud.
Where to begin with this new instant classic? They got all the characters. Even ones from the 50's and 60's strip. They look just the way they did back then and now they are fresh and new out of the washer. They act the way they should, and they don't do anything out of character throughout the entire movie. That is very rare for an adaptation of something to do this.
The music is still the best. When they started playing Vince's Christmas Music at the beginning, I was in love. They even have a new song in the movie to fit the whole mood. A song called Better When I'm Dancing by Megan Trainor. It plays a very important part of the story when Charlie Brown is learning to dance for the new Winter dance coming up. I love this scene because it is something different that works for a Peanuts movie.
Everything is perfect. The little details like not showing the bottom of the house when Snoopy is flying in the air. The dialog cut straight from the comics, the adult voices, the animation looking a lot like the comic strip and the characters personalities are outstanding.
One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Charlie Brown does a book report on War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. This leads to some funny moments and originality for something already done in a Peanuts comic. We all know in the specials and comics that they had to do book reports. We see Peppermint Patty and Marcie always doing them, but not Charlie Brown! That is a very interesting way to go for it. It works so well.
The ending got me a bit emotional *MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD* because they have the final shot of Charlie Brown being held up with the whole Peanuts gang while at the bottom right corner, the signature of Charles M. Schultz is written. I really wanted to applaud this movie for it's kindness and respect to the source material and Schultz himself.
The Peanuts Movie is an instant classic. I think this will be a new tradition for me to watch the movie every single year with A Charlie Brown Christmas. Please watch this movie. It is absolutely perfect and I wanted to see more.
Perfect I say.
Dr. Ken (2015)
Mostly Funny (When Dave Foley is not around)
This Is Going to be a shorter review than usual because I've only watched a few episodes.
Dr. Ken is the next bad sitcom that is a big hit on ABC. But even though it is another one of those sitcoms that are mostly lazy and dumb, I find myself having lots of fun with it mostly because of Ken Jeong's acting. He is absolutely hysterical in this. Most of the actors are fine, but Dave Foley (I'm not even going to name what he was in) is really not good. He is the same as he was in that "Other Show" Which I will not mention, but he is more tolerable here. I have only watched 2 episodes. The Pilot and Episode 3 and I laughed a lot. I hope the show will get a second season and will gladly watch it.
No Escape (2015)
The new masters of the Thriller!
No Escape is brutal. So brutal in fact that this movie only has a 14 rating in Canada. This movie is not for 14 year old teens at all. This movie has a sexual assault, people getting run over, people getting shot, rioting and to top it all, a barbecue chihuahua. This should get a R Rating in Canada and an NC-17 in America because this movie is so brutal and violent. But that doesn't mean the movie is not good, it's amazing!
The story settles around a family moving to a South Asian country where the prime minister of that country is killed and war is on the streets. Jack Dwyer's family must escape to the Vietnamese border before they are killed.
Let me just start by saying that yes, the movie can be xenophobic which tends to lead to unpleasant scenes, but the movie is about a political disaster that forces people to take action against the Americans because they think they were the race responsible for killing the prime minister. So there is a reason for this.
But still, The Dowdle Brothers are the new masters of the Thriller. Their style is one of the strong points of this movie, with the beginning being one of my favorite scenes of this year, the movie is shocking and intense with many things happening all at once, the film leaves a powerful impact on all but a few of it's viewers. The cinematography is unbelievable and stunning, scenes like jumping across a roof top thrilled me, and it leaves you feeling rewarded at the end.
No Escape is one of my favorite films of the summer and it's a good film to go off with a bang. A must see! If you can't see it in theaters, buy it on Blu Ray!
Hitman: Agent 47 (2015)
A Film So Bad It's Hilariously Enjoyable
I understand this movie is bad. I didn't expect it to get good reviews anyways, but there is something about Hit-man Agent 47 that works as a bad movie. It has the potential of becoming the next classic bad movie.
If you want to know about the story, all I'll say is that the Contracts agency is there, the character is there, the stealth is sometimes there, sorry I don't know much about the Hit-man games. So yeah I guess they did alright.
47 (Rupert Friend) is mostly what I think his character is based on footage of the games I saw, He is mostly stealthy, he uses chords to kill people and changes into costumes, but in the third act, he becomes a this big action hero type of person which is not really what the character is about.
What makes this movie so bad it's good, is the crappy dialog, the horrible editing, the silliness of action scenes, and hilarious acting. It all boils down to the point where you cannot take things seriously and becomes unintentionally funny.
The movie is fun even though I know it's bad, it's still worth watching though.
American Ultra (2015)
F This movie. Literally F it. I can't believe so much effort was put into this..... "HATE" Film. The trailers are extremely misleading and do not be fooled by the trailers because this movie is so bad I had to sit down and think about my life.
Basically some guy is turned into a CIA agent murderer with some CIA BS thrown in and the CIA attacks the town and whatever and he has to save his kind of not really girlfriend and save the day while killing tens of people. I don't know, I don't care.
This movie is so grim in it's cinematography. Everything about this movie is Grey. The camera is Grey, the heart of this movie is Grey, the violence is Grey, the characters are Grey, EVERYTHING IS GREY! What is also the point of the movie being a comedy when THERE IS NO GOD FORSAKEN COMEDY!?
No one laughed, No one, my sister left the movie halfway through and I stayed to watch the end. It is very rewarding, but it doesn't stop this movie for having one of the most hateful, piece of garbage A- Hole characters in a movie ever. I wanted him to die so badly and when he did, I thought of holding a party at my house.
The violence is lame, the acting is deadpan and wooden, the story is a bunch of BS, the writing is horrible, the effects are cheap and lazy, nothing about this movie is redeemable. NONE. I cannot believe they put so much time into making this Hateful piece of trashy excrement. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE! I swear you would be better off seeing Hit-man Agent 47 and that would be better even though it has a 29/100 on Metacritic. Be thankful you didn't pay to see this movie.
Ricki and the Flash (2015)
An Empty Void with little to no drama.
Ricki and The Flash is like going to a musical, but the musical happens to suck, you can't get a refund, and you're trapped in the theater waiting for some drama to unfold. After the first half of this movie, no drama or conflict happens. I'll get to that in a second but first the plot.
Linda or Ricki however you like to call her, comes back home to comfort her daughter who she left to go fulfill her rock stardom dream. It seems that Julie, her daughter got dumped by her boyfriend and attempted to commit suicide. After that, nothing happens... ever.
The problem I have with the movie is the chemistry with Streep and Gummer. Not that they don't get along, they do since Gummer is Streep's real life daughter. But after a freak out scene when they first meet again, there is no conflict between them. They get along perfectly fine. Considering the back-story the movie has given us, they shouldn't be getting along this easily.
There is barely any drama in this movie after the halfway point. The movie needs more drama because without it, the movie is boring which in this case it is very boring! So what does happen after that? Well, Rick Springfield (Who is great in this film) and Streep have an off screen sex scene thank god and sells his guitar for them to go to his son's wedding and then after the credits they play one more song. Nothing else much in between.
One thing I can praise is the soundtrack. "Cold One" is a definite contender for a Best Song nomination this year, the covers are really good and Springfield's guitar playing is absolutely incredible.
Overall, nothing else is funny, nothing is sweet, there is little substance and nothing else happens. But I suggest buying the soundtrack for the full soundtrack or listening to it on Spotify to get the best part of the film. Nothing else
Absolutely Hysterical! The Funniest Film in Years.
Vacation is an awesome movie. It's hilarious. It's fun. It's a nostalgic trip to the past. It's almost an R Rated Family Movie. Everything about Vacation works. Even though the movie is not going so successful critically and commercially, I still say go to this one.
The movie is about Rusty Griswold who is a pilot now. After hearing behind his back that his family is tired of going to the same cabin every year, he decides to take them to Walley World as the original Vacation movie did. There, they visit Rusty's sister, Audrey's New Husband (Chris Hemsworth), and his parents Clark and Ellen, and get into some serious adventure.
The movie is all out hilarious and crude which is why I think the movie is being criticized. I don't remember the old movie being this crude, but hell, it's freaking funny. The movie's jokes are all hits and sometimes there is lots of shocking moments. The film made me go OMG lots of times because I was so stunned by what was happening. The ending where the two rivaling families fight to get on the roller coaster is hysterical.
Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo are in the movie also as Clark and Ellen. The roles that made them famous. It's nice to see them again even if it might be the last time.
There is so much to learn from this movie. I wouldn't suggest bringing young children to this movie as there is some graphic nudity in some parts, but for parents with teenagers, I definitely think you should take them to see the new Vacation film. It really is the funniest film in years.