Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
Beautiful concept, Poorly executed
So I was in Borders getting Christmas gifts for my friends when I stumbled upon the "Cult Movie" section. This section included one of my favorites, "Cannibal: The Musical", so I had to check it out. I picked out "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" and knew by the cover that I had to get it for somebody. Never again will I judge a film by its cover.
The concept is downright hilarious. Jesus beating up vampires, Jesus teaming up with a Mexican wrestler, and on top of all that, it's musical. SOUNDS GREAT!
So I opened the movie before giving it to my friend, and it was great, for the first 10-15 minutes. The first fighting scene, where Jesus beats up a couple of vampires on a beach was hilarious. There were a couple of great lines that made me crack up. A Kung-Fu Jesus, what more could you ask for?
So everything was going along nicely, UNTIL JESUS DECIDED TO CUT HIS HAIR AND CHANGE HIS CLOTHES. THAT WAS THE WORST IDEA THEY COULD HAVE HAD! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? Now instead of seeing Jesus fighting, it was just a normal guy, with normal hair and normal clothes. That's freaking boring. NOT FUNNY. At the most, this movie made my chuckle except for the beginning, and one other line near the end which were pretty funny. But two scenes are not enough to make me want to sit through those 125 minutes again. FORGET ABOUT THIS MOVIE, GO SEE "CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL" IF YOU ALREADY HAVEN'T DONE SO.