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If you ask me - This "Niagara" history-documentary (which was originally an IMAX presentation) turned out to be quite a dismal production, in the long run.
Featuring several super-dreary re-enactments of key moments in the 12,000-year-old history of the falls, "Niagara's" initial "Lelawala: Maiden of the Mist" story was so ridiculous in its presentation that I found it to be downright laughable.
Yes. Indeed. Words like dull and lack lustre would also describe this particular documentary very accurately.
Nope. I would never recommend this documentary.
Iron Man: Armored Adventures (2008)
Uh..... A 16-Year-Old Superhero!!??.... No Thanks
If you are someone who can easily relate to the Iron Man/Tony Stark character as being a rather meek, non-descriptive, 16-year-old boy (who is sometimes seriously clueless), then, yes, you just might actually enjoy this animated TV series (from 2008) a whole lot more than I did.
I certainly can't argue with the fact that (generally speaking) the 3D CGI animation in this series was really first-rate throughout.
But, once again, when it came down to the likes of yet another "Marvel Comics" superhero (regardless of his age), any room left for originality in the story-lines just didn't seem to exist.
And, of course - With that in mind - It, inevitably, all came down to the fact that with so much prevailing, over-the-top butt-kicking (which was geared at an accelerated pace in order to gloss over all of the show's abundant flaws and inadequacies), it, unfortunately, left this dissatisfied viewer thinking way too often about how many times he's seen this same-old tired crime-fighting stuff about 1000 times before.
Joan of Arc (1948)
Burn, Witch, Burn!
Fave movie quote - "I winged the witch!"
Set in the 15th Century and apparently based on the "true" story of a "real-life" heroine who (supposedly under divine guidance) led France to victory against Britain in the Hundred Years' War - 1948's "Joan Of Arc" (a $4 million production) may have been able to boast about its fine costumes and its expensive set designs - But, boy, did it ever fail, in the long run, to satisfy this viewer on so many other counts.
Filled-to-overflowing with a religious onslaught of emotionally over-wrought moments (courtesy of actress Ingrid Bergman) - Joan Of Arc (and all of its cross-bearing heresy) quickly managed to reduce itself to the level of laughable nonsense throughout a good part of its overlong, 146-minute running time.
And, speaking about Ingrid Bergman (one of Hollywood's most bankable actresses of her day) - At the age of 33, I could never, ever be convinced to believe that she was portraying a heroine who was supposed to be a simple country girl of just 18 years. No way, Jose.
All-in-all - I'd rightfully have to say that the most unintentionally hilarious scenes in this decidedly silly production (which certainly took itself way too seriously) would have to be those with Bergman, in a full suit of shining armour, leading the boys to battle as they fiercely fought their way on to an inevitable victory at Orleans.
Kangaroo Jack (2003)
Things Are Far From "Hopping"
Kangaroo Jack is nothing more than a very silly little farce about a kangaroo who makes off with The Mob's dough.
This film is super-lightweight comedy. And, it is basically unremarkable, despite some truly funny moments that pop up once in a while.
As the story tediously rolls along - Two childhood buds (one a dreamer, the other a mob boss's stepson) must retrieve the long-gone cash from the speedy marsupial before consequences escalate out of control and take a real ugly turn for the worst.
Warning! - The scatological humour in this flick in greatly overdone. And, once again, flatulence is repeatedly mistaken for laughing gas.
Sucker Punch (2011)
A Sucker Krunch
Yep. Sucker Punch sure was an annoyingly frustrating movie to watch, on all counts. And, with that said, I really don't know where to begin tearing into it and trashing it as it so rightfully deserves.
For starters - I'd say that even though this film's subject matter was clearly geared to adults, it lost itself some significant points for wimping out by giving us a movie that was specifically aimed at those in the 14-year-old age-range.
So, that, in effect, completely destroyed the overall impact that this film's story could have had on a more mature-minded audience, which certainly included myself.
Sucker Punch was a perfect example of the sort of lame movie-making that directors, such as Zack Snyder, are frequently churning out these days.
Anyway - A film of this one's empty-headed and frivolous nature only served to disappoint and anger me to the nth degree. And, that, in turn, has prompted me here to write only negative comments about Sucker Punch in hopes that others, as well, will view this ultimate "white-trash" trash in a very similar light.
Disney's Visually Impressive Jubilation Over Pollination
*Advanced Warning!* - I strongly recommend that you watch this DisneyNature documentary without the truly irksome "I-am-a-flower" narration (spare me!) from veteran, Hollywood actress, Meryl Streep.
I suggest that you turn off Streep's droning voice and turn on some of your favourite ambient music and enjoy watching Wings Of Life (WOL, for short) in that much more pleasant mode.
With Streep's preposterous narration aside - I guarantee that the images you are about to see in this 80-minute documentary are, without question, a truly fantastic and wonderful feast for the eyes.
When it comes to WOL's visuals - It was so clear to see that absolutely no expense was spared to present to the viewer some of the most vivid and astoundingly beautiful imagery imaginable.
Believe me, had it not been for Streep's annoying narration, then I would have not hesitated giving WOL a full 8-star rating, no questions asked.
A Disappointingly Tame One-Note-Joke
(*Lyrics excerpt*) - "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch me! I wanna feel dirty!"
Hey, folks! - If you just happen to be in a sing-along, dance-along, haywire mood, then - Yes. Welcome to this 1970's transsexual, Transylvanian romp where archaic gay-camp (mixed generously with pure nonsense) is bound to tickle you pink.
So, come on down to the lab to see what's on the slab with Brad & Janet (and all the rest of this loony gang), where non-stop scenery-chewing and neurotic silliness prevails (like never before) in this decidedly dated, time warp production.
For all of the endless raves of positive reviews that this particular Sci-Fi/Musical/Comedy has garnered for itself over the past 40 years, I was certainly quite disappointed, indeed, to see just how unbelievably tame this one-note-joke-of-a-movie actually was, in the long run.
It was so tame, in fact, that absolutely no profanity, whatsoever, was ever uttered, at all, throughout its entire 100-minute running time.... Can you beat that?
Nature: The Gathering Swarms (2014)
This Documentary Wasn't Called "The Gathering Swarms" For Nothing
From bees, to bats, to butterflies, to birds (and beyond) - If there's one thing that all of these (and many other) critters seem to like to do - That is to "swarm" (and oftentimes it's done by the millions, or even by the billions).
This fairly impressive Nature Series documentary from PBS takes the viewer on a trip to numerous locations around the globe where they are given an up-close look at some of the planet's greatest gatherings (swarms) of all.
These are the places where some creatures swarm together in order to breed or to migrate, some for protection (safety in numbers), and some to simply keep warm from the bitter cold.
Featuring plenty of excellent camera-work and informed narration - "The Gathering Swarms" is certainly well-worth a view for anyone who might be interested in watching some truly bizarre behaviour patterns where collective consciousness prevails over individual intelligence.
This DVD presentation has an approximate running time of only 1 hour.
The Flash (1990)
Meet The Flash In The Flesh
You know, when it comes to getting myself, even marginally, excited over watching yet another superhero TV program (yawn!) - I certainly have to say that, at this point, I've become totally immune (as well as blasé) about it all.
But, of course, with that said - I do want you to know that I honestly did try to give The Flash (from 1990) at least the benefit of the doubt just to see if this show could, indeed, spark within me that old interest which I once held for the likes of DC Comics' superheroes.
But, unfortunately, The Flash (in all of its "superhero" predictability) quickly turned out to be just the "same-old/same-old" crime-fighting business right from the word "go".
Anyway - Here are 2 things that totally killed me about The Flash character - (1) The absolutely laughable muscle-suit that he wore. (Spare me!) - (2) Through all of his amazing, super-accelerated physical exertion, never once did The Flash ever break out into even the slightest sweat, at all. (Ha! Give me a break, already!)
The Addams Family (1964)
They're All Together "Ooky".... The Addams Family!
(*Lyrics excerpt from "The Addams Family's" original theme song*) - "They're creepy and they're kooky.... Mysterious and spooky..... They're all together ooky.... The Addams Family."
As far as TV Sit-Coms from the mid-1960's go - I'd honestly have to say that "The Addams Family" certainly ranks right up there as being about as "oddball" as you could possibly get.
Now 50 years old - This TV series (which was filmed in b&w) is (in all of its nonsensical silliness and wacky absurdity) definitely not going to appeal the everyone - But, generally speaking, I found that the morbid sense of humour that prevailed amongst the characters, along with the family's cultural clash with the rest of the world, to be fairly entertaining, for the most part.
Initially, I was expecting all of the Addams Family members to be a real evil lot, but, basically, they turned out to be just a harmless clan of kooky eccentrics.
My favourite character in the show was, of course, Lurch (played perfectly by the 6'9" giant, Ted Cassidy) who was the Addams Family's harpsichord-playing butler.