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I love the 70s & 80s, Hal Sparks,Queer As Folk, Degrassi High,The Simpsons, Heavy Metal & 70s & 80s music,vintage TV shows and horror movies and cult classics.
Splatter University (1984)
A very funny 80s B movie slasher
I will watch just about any horror movie from the 70s or 80s. They don't make em like they used to. In my humble opinion the 80s was the best time period for horror movies because even the BAD ones were pretty "watchable" and on some level "enjoyable". If you like so-bad-its-good movies and black comedies then I can recommend SPLATTER UNIVERSITY.I watched it last night (dead sober) and laughed my ass off. As a Horror movie? Not so hot. As a COMEDY? Very fun! Plot: An escaped mental patient has taken up at a college and is offing the wanton women on campus. Okay, so its not an original horror concept. Not trying to reinvent the wheel here! If it ain't broken, don't fix it. The thing that separates this movie from its ilk is that pretty much ALL the characters but one or two are scum and you'll probably wanna see them die. In fact, you'll be sad most of the OVERLY obnoxious characters get to live! Some of the things that make this movie funny (for me , at least) are * Its so cheesy: including cheesy music, and cheesy fashion and wayyy cheesy Bad 80s Hair(check out the redheaded metal chick with the Bad 80s Perm that makes her look like she has three hairdos on one head) * Bawdy horny teens who drink beer with the six pack ring still attached to it dangling other full cans of beer . They also talk about wanting to bang other members of the opposite sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS! One guy howls like a wolf and thrusts his hips at just about every girl in the school -he even starts joking around with the GUYS when the girls aren't around! * The cartoon FLINTSTONES sound effect that cars make when they pull out in a hurry * The two chicks who walk around the campus (always in the same clothes) who are dead ringers for Cherie Currie and Joan Jett from THE RUNWAYS (REALLY. They deserve their own spin-off movie!) * Characters from a tight group of friends DYING and nobody, not even their friends or boyfriends, noticing! * The scene involving a dead body, a dumpster and a six pack of ginger ale.
* Red Herring Killers aplenty * Priests who are getting more action then all the students! * Someone dies on the crapper. After writing bathroom graffiti. WHILE TAKING A DUMP.
* A quirky landlady who tells you about the people who were murdered in your apartment five minutes after you move in. She also wonders WHY you wanna move when half the people at the university you work at have been iced.
* The reactions people make when they find dead bodies * A disco-licious dance party scene with close ups of girls jean-covered butts and sweater-covered tops (Sorry, Fellas, if you want T & A you better rent PIECES) * A GREAT Crotch Kicking scene (towards the end)* The last person you expect to die ...DIES! * A funny closing scene and a hilarious final line.
So what are you waiting for?! Get a case of beer and some rowdy friends and rent this puppy tonight! Guy 1: My girlfriend wont go to that Drive-In ( someone got murdered in last night) anymore.
Guy 2 : Are you gonna find another Drive-In? Guy 1: No. Another GIRLFRIEND. I like the movies they play!
True Jackson, VP (2008)
Very poor kids show apes late RAVEN
Take a moment here to look at all the glowing ten star reviews for this show on this page. Now click on the reviewers to see their OTHER reviews. Notice anything? Yeah, I did too. All these people who love love love TRUE JACKSON VP haven't written any other reviews for any other TV shows or movies or ....anything. Hmmmm...I think I smell "plants"! I watched this show with my daughter because usually we enjoy those NICKELODEON and Disney CHANNEL shows. Lord knows I have sat through everything from SUITE LIFE, HANNAH MONTANA, LIFE WITH DEREK, UNFABULOUS, NED'S DECLASIFID SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE, THATS SO RAVEN ...and I have sat through them with a smile on my face and a giggle in my throat. I actually find myself ENJOYING a lot of these shows. And then comes TRUE JACKSON.
I have seen KeKe Palmer in movies like AKEELAH AND THE BEE and JUMP IN and I recognize talent and I genuinely LIKE her (I even sort of like her singing!) but THIS? THIS is the best show they could come up with for her???? Do you remember the latter day episodes of THATS SO RAVEN where Raven worked for the difficult fashion designer and had a nemesis at work who hated her? Yeah....well TRUE JACKSON works in a similar place. With similar people. And has a best girl friend and best guy friend who show up for hijinks...sort of like "Chelsea" and "Eddie" from RAVEN. In fact, all that's missing is for True to have a chubby rascally little brother named "Corey!" The few times I have watched this show I have felt like I was watching THATS SO RAVEN...CONTINUED. All thats different is True has no psychic abilities. Maybe next time I throw my remote at the TV screen it will hit her in the head and she'll start having visions. We can only hope! Terribe writing, weak gags, unlikable characters, stupid story lines.....need I go on? Better luck next time, KeKe!
My Favorite New Show...And I'm 36 Years Old!
I am a 36 year old mom who watches a lot of cartoons and kid shows (My 9 year old thinks herself Lord And Master Of The Remote). Luckily I like cartoons anyway but nothing could have prepared me for the head-over-heels way I have fallen in love with CHOWDER! Since this is a new show there isn't much I can tell you: The characters are all really weird looking (What IS Chowder anyway? A cat??? A bunny?????) and one character Schnitzel only speaks using one word: "Radda" (I don't know why this joke never worked for me with CoCo on FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS but every time Schintzel says "Radda Radda Radda!" I just fall out of my chair laughing.(For me Schnitzel is the break-through "star" of the show) Most of the story lines so far revolve around food, as Chowder is sort of an apprentice chef. And the jokes are all over the map from goofy to fart jokes to stuff I think is aimed more at the grown up audience. It feels like someone put some stuff from those old BULLWINKLE cartoons, a splash of SPONGEBOB and a tiny bit of FUTURAMA into a blender. This show has that certain type of humor that works for both kids AND grownups.
The other day my daughter was at a friend's house and I was watching CHOWDER and my husband came in and asked me why I was watching cartoons. I made him watch it and I felt totally embarrassed as I proceeded to laugh so hard that I actually cried! He didn't feel as strongly as I did about it, but he DID agree it was a "pretty good show".
I'm glad to come on here and see that I am not the only person older than 12 who enjoys this hilarious, bright,witty new show!
On A Scale Of 1 - 10 I give CHOWDER 9 Raddas!
Give The People What They Want; - Nude Horseshack!
I really have to ask myself what I expected from a movie that has Ron Pallilio from Welcome Back Kotter as the male lead sex symbol. Not much, I guess and that's exactly what I got! Not much! When I popped the DVD of Hellgate on I realized less than five minutes into it that I had seen this movie over ten years ago. You don't forget acting this bad! So the movie starts with three friends waiting for their fourth friend Matt (Horseshack!) to show up at their vacation spot. They while away the time telling ghost stories. One girl deadpans the tale of The Legend Of Hellgate, which is apparently the next town over. In a flashback we see an attempted rape gone bad that happened in Hellgate in the '50s. A bunch of no-good-nick bikers are at the malt shop and they decide to grab the big cheese mayor of Hellgate's daughter Josie and drive away with her. None of the town folk try to stop them. They drive Josie to a secluded area and rip her skirt off and Josie runs around in black underwear, bobby socks and sneakers looking like she should be doing an 80s aerobics video. (I swear they hired Abigail Wolcott to play "Josie" because she had nice legs...She even "strikes poses" while being carried away and raped! ) Well, her father - who is a dead ringer for Gomez Addams- comes to rescue her and in the process Josie gets iced.
Later on a guy in a mine finds a strange crystal that has the power to reanimate dead things. Here is where the cheesy special effects ("done by the people who did the effects in Hellraiser and Hellbound " the box trumpets!) debut as we see a very fake looking bat, a very fake looking fish and a very fake looking turtle spring back to murderous mutant life. (The turtle scene is actually pretty funny). Josie's papa goes to Josie's shrine (even her headstone has breast implants!) and reserrects Josie so she can lure people to the ghost town for him to kill. Why? I don't know why! Josie picks up Horseshack on the side of the road and seduces him. The seduction scene is a laugh riot! the music is insane! And I had never realized what a bad actor Horseshack is until I saw this: Even his sex scenes are unconvincing! And he's a pretty small guy. When he's lying in bed with Josie naked he's so small compared to her that he looks like a doll! Hahaha! Matt meets up with his friends and drags THEM to Hellgate . Why? I don't know. But they go. And of course they run afoul some zombie ghost town people who chase them around and try to kill them. Josie falls in love with Matt for reasons unknown and Matt's girlfriend is not amused.
Will Matt stay with the living dead girl or go home with his plain Jane girlfriend? Or will the zombies and John Astin's doppelganger kill him? Hellgate is a terrible film all the way around with bad acting, bad script, bad special effects, etc. but there was something FUNNY about it that kept me watching so if you like bad movies like I do you might actually find some entertainment in watching HELLGATE. I will watch it again one day just to watch Josie strike strange Vogue-like poses, a dead turtle bite someones face off and to see Horseshack in the raw again. Comic gold all three!
Speaking of bad movies, if you are lucky you will get the two disc set that not only has Hellgate but also has The Pit. The Pit is even funnier than Hellgate, a real laugh riot! So check that one out! Peace!
The Little Rascals (1955)
Timeless Classics....As Much Fun To Watch Today As They Were As A Child
When I was a kid in the '70s (B.C.= Before Cable) they used to play THE LITTLE RASCALS on TV after school. Me and my friends (Really- everyone in my class practically!) watched it. We didn't care if it was a show made in the '30s (I'm referring to what I like to call "The Spanky Years", as there are in fact OUR GANG shorts even older- so old that they aren't even "talkies!" Just "silent movies" accompanied with music and subtitles!) We didn't care that it was black and white. We didn't care that our folks -or even grandparents- had watched it. We didn't care that it showed an old fashioned simpler time we couldn't relate to. All we knew was that it featured an appealing bunch of kids and that it was funny as Hell! I remember always carrying a special torch in my heart for the show all through my teen years and early adulthood. I honestly believed that the show had in some way "shaped me" and made me a better person.
Now that I'm a grown up in my thirties -and a parent- I wondered if I had built the show up in my mind as being something bigger and better than what it actually was. I told my daughter about the show and she would say "Oh really?" without even looking at me, playing with her video game, listening to a CD and watching TV all at the same time.
I decided to fish around to see if The Rascals were out on DVD yet and was pleased to find they were.
With great anticipation I put the DVD on and then warned my daughter that this was gonna be sort of "old time" and that if she didn't dig it I would totally understand.
To my (pleasant) surprise we both totally loved it! Now she BEGS me to play the DVDs! There is some ageless,timeless quality to the show. "Kids Is Kids" is the way I imagine The Rascals would put it. There is something so totally appealing about seeing the world through the eyes of the child. Hal Roach knew it. I know it. Now my daughter knows it.
A weird thing about watching THE LITTLE RASCALS now is that there are characters we all know that have been tattooed on our brains: Spanky, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Porky, Darla, Stymie. Then there are lesser known characters (I remember as a little girl having a huge crush on Scotty! Now my daughter does!) like Scotty, Wheezer, Dorothy, Dickie, Wally, Uh-Huh ....within moments of seeing their faces again I remembered them again! It was like running into old friends I hadn't seen in years! There is no reason why this show shouldn't be playing on cable regularly. It is such a happy, funny, uplifting show. I recommend that anyone who remembers enjoying it as a kid get some of the DVDs for their children. You might be surprised to find out they love it just as much as you did/do.
Corneil et Bernie (2003)
Good but needs some more episodes in rotation
I came on here to write a review for CORNEIL AND BERNIE. I am surprised to say that a lot of the reviewers have already stated the important facts about the show and beat me to it! The show is about a teenager who is a dog walker for a rich childless couple who treat their dog like their baby. For some reason the dog, Corneil, decides that instead of letting his owners know he can talk he is going to let the dog walker Bernie in on the secret. The dog is very intelligent and the dog walker is pretty dopey so a lot of times the dog comes up with a brilliant scheme and the dog walker, Bernie puts the plan into motion. My seven year old daughter looooves this show because she's a big dog lover. It seems every time it starts she dances and sings the song (Okay, I admit it: so do I!) and she laughs all through the show and then when it ends she almost always turns to me and says "I wish our dog could talk". The one complaint I have about CORNEIL AND BERNIE is they always play the same few episodes. My daughter and I are getting curious just how many episodes were made so far because we keep seeing the same five episodes all the time (Bernie with a broken leg at the dance, the cook who is robber, the pram episode, the twin dog episode and the alien episode).
The Ghosts of Angela Webb (2005)
Bottom Of The Barrel Cheapie
This straight to video cheap flick is based on a true story. I don't doubt it. Doesn't mean it's particularly interesting (unless you are one of the main characters who actually lived though this experience). A young woman named Angela buys a great, big old country home really really cheap. Well, as we all know from watching Horror movies, when you buy a big house cheap it usually means it's haunted in some way, shape or form. In fact, the second the house is being handed over to Angela the wise guy kid who lived in the house up to now takes a moment to "introduce" Angela to one of the ghosts! Nice guy, huh? Angela gets in touch with a psychic and a paranormal expert and tells them that her house is haunted and invites them to come over and see the ghosts for themselves. They come to a party and sure enough there are ghosts walking around, sitting on the couch, hanging in the garage and trying to seduce people in the bathroom. A few friends sleep over the night of the party, see the ghosts and vow never to come back in the house again. (Check out the girl who deadpans "I'm so scared. I'm so scared." totally emotionless. If she was so scared why didn't she get up, turn the knob and leave?!) The ghosts don't really do anything menacing aside from show up (And there is no blurriness or aura about them. They look just like regular people). They steal celery from the kitchen, move chairs around a la POLTERGEIST and one bisexual female ghost seduces Angela, who, get this, doesn't seem to mind! This scene plays like the kind of soft-core porn you see on the SPICE channel. (Ummm...not that I'd KNOW! Hahaha). The actresses aren't your typical porn stars though. They should hit the beach and the gym more. When Angela'ss NOT making love to the dead she gets mad at them and stands alone in a room screaming "Why won't you leave?! This is MY house! Get out!" They don't leave. I couldn't help but think of all the times I've heard psychic Sylvia Brown on TV saying that if you have a ghost in your house you should calmly rationalize with the ghost and say "Look, you're dead. It's time to cross over to the other side. In other words, get out!" According to Sylvia Brown, as long as your not hostile and nasty about it, they'll leave! This movie looks like it cost about $50 to make. It has a really cheap feel, and bad acting. I could have made this movie with 5 friends and a camcorder.
Oh, you beautiful Dahl!
First up, I want to start this review by saying that I am a mom who really enjoys Horror movies. I think that is why movies based on the works of Roald Dahl appeal to me: Instead of being overly cutsey they have a "dark side". I had seen MATILDA a few times with my nieces when they were little girls and it was one of our favorites, mainly because it has appeal for kids AND adults. Now that my daughter just turned 7 I decided it was time to show her MATILDA. My daughter is easily scared, so when The trunchbull showed up on screen she let out a little gasp and I thought "Ooops....she's gonna make me turn it off". But ya know what? Everything in Dahl movies is so over-the-top that you cant really be too scared. The life and adventures of Matilda are so surreal (A teacher throws a little girl over a fence after swinging her by her pigtails....that's actually scary and flat out funny at the same time!) that you cant help but find them goofy rather than appalling. Our hero is a brilliant little girl named Mathilda, born into a family that doesn't appreciate her. Her mom, Dad and older brother are couch potatos who live for watching wrestling and game shows while eating TV dinners in their living room. Matilda would much rather read a book. She taught herself to read and write as an infant and has been into taking home books from the library as of late. She also wants to go to school. Her father doesn't want her to go to school because he's a used car salesman and needs her to stay home and sign for packages: Packages that are stolen car parts. One day he meets the evil Trunchbull, the sadistic headmistress at the town grammar school, and he enrolls Matilda in school. The school is full of terrified kids who are tormented by Trunchbull. Luckily, their teacher is Miss Honey, an aptly named sweetheart of a woman. Miss Honey is the one beacon of light in Matilda's world. Her family is negligent and they belittle her. Trunchbull is ugly inside and out and freakin' scary. It's a good thing Matilda is such a resilient little girl. Things get better for her when she finds out that she has telekinetic powers (Making MATILDA sort of a kiddie version of CARRIE!) and starts using them to get even with her family and principal.
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Not just Bad...."Wow" Bad!
ARE WE THERE YET is quite possibly the worst movie I have seen in '05. But I pretty much knew this going in. I remember seeing the commercials and rolling my eyes and thinking "Man, that looks bad. And what, by the way, is ICE CUBE doing to himself? this has "Career Killer" written all over it." When it played in theaters I was lucky enough to not get roped into taking my little one to see it. But it was on cable this weekend and my luck ran out. We decided to watch this one "as a family". I will not lie to you. My daughter, age 7 laughed a few times. My husband laughed about 2 or 3 times. Me: Not even a smile. It was so bad I was beside myself in disbelief. The premise is this: This guy named Nick falls into love at first sight with a woman he sees crossing the street outside the store he owns. Sadly, the woman has two hellion children who have made a habit out of torturing any guy who trys to date their mom. Their parents are divorced and the kids believe if they can fight off potential suitors that one day their parents will get back together. Their mother knows that their father is a deadbeat dad who shows no interest in the kids and is never coming back but she hides the facts from them so they wont get hurt feelings. Nick and The Mom become friends and he wants to be more than "just friends" so he decides if he can make nice with the kids Mom will see what a great guy he is and agree to date him. Mom has a business trip and is going to leave the kids with their father but their father doesn't show up. Nick offers to take the kids and get them to where Mom will be staying on her business trip. Mom, only having known Nick for a mere day or two, agrees to let this man she just met take her two kids. (Is this woman Crazy????) Thge kids are ready to give Nick Hell...and they do. They are nasty and annoying. (The little girl is nasty and obnoxious to the max, the little boy is more like the little boy on Bernie Mac, just unfortunate enough to have asthma, have to pee a lot, and throw up at bad times, stuff like that). This movie should have a disclaimer that runs along the bottom of the screen: "Do Not Try This At Home", because it shows these kids doing things kids should never ever do. I could not believe they were so irresponsible to show a little girl jump behind the wheel of a car and start to drive! I couldn't believe the scene where the kids fake being kidnap victims! I also couldn't believe the kids had the poor taste to "fake" an asthma attack to pull a prank on someone. Nick's misadventures with the terrible twosome include missing a plane, them jumping on a train and him riding alongside it on a horse, them stealing his car and him riding on top of it dangling half in half out of the sun roof, and them totally ruining his car. They also run afoul some truckers and a crazy deer and a Chuck E Cheese-like holiday party complete with terrible karaoke scene. In the middle we find out the cold hard truth about Dad (Who can blame him?) and in the end we meet up with angry Mom, who has the balls to be upset at the way the man she barely knew handled her beloved offspring. (At this point you will ask yourself why Nick even still wants to date this obnoxious harridan!) Spare yourself the agony of ARE WE THERE YET and watch a good children's movie. You wouldn't wish these brats on your worst enemy!
Khun krabii hiiroh (2004)
Shaun Of The Dead meets Story Of Ricky
My husband brought this movie home the other day and I assumed it was going to be an all four on the floor bloodbath with tons of violence and gore. The first 5 minutes of the movie he couldn't get the subtitles to come up in English and I have never been so confused in my life. (The car hits a guy in a bear suit Why????) It took awhile for me to realize that this movie had a comedic silly side. It took me awhile to get into the mix of violence, adventure and goof-ball humor...but only about ten or fifteen minutes and then I found myself laughing and enjoying myself. The story is about a virus called Sars 4 that is going around turning people into zombies. While this is going on a group of not-too-bright bad-asses are trying to kidnap a wealthy man's nubile, school girl daughter. There is a hero-type who is in love with her and trying to get her back. There's also his wise old teacher and a sexy female doctor running around. I know, it's hard for me to explain the plot, because there is so much crammed into the hour and half here that you really must see it for yourself. If you like goofy martial arts revenge flicks like Story Of Ricky and silly zombie spoofs like Shaun Of The Dead this movie is Must See. I can honestly say it's not like anything else I've ever seen!