Reviews written by registered user

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16 reviews in total 
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"Quarry" (2016)
9 out of 34 people found the following review useful:
Social Justice Warrior Hit-man Garbage, 22 October 2016

This show started out interesting about someone conflicted coming home from war who gets tricked into becoming a 'hitman' but then devolves into utter revisionist social justice warrior / politically correct hogwash. I grew up in the 70's where this takes place and the mixture of gay characterization, black suppression and white guilt is freaking abominable!! It's literally like they're superimposing current 'societal woes' upon the 70's while mixing in the worst of that time with the optimum of what it might be and constantly trying to 'prove' that even hit men have a personal life that's no different than you or's FU@@ED! no 2 ways about it. Avoid unless you really want to watch a moustache argue with a supermodel about every day life and the screw their problems away....

Maximum Ride (2016/I)
12 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
Abysmal, 30 August 2016

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well, I haven't read the books as many who have posted in the 'talk about' section have so I have no way to compare it to it's source material BUT I can qualitatively say that whoever wrote the screenplay and created this movie is woefully inept as this is only HALF a movie! Entire chunks of backstory, characterization, motive, explanation and much, MUCH more are inexplicably missing from this project. How anyone could see this without reading the books (like me) and walk away without saying WTF?!? would be a minor miracle.

To sum up, some 'experimented' upon kids who can fly (never explained how) get busted out of the facility they're kept in and relocated to the middle of nowhere where their liberator disappears (also never explained) and left to fend for themselves. Seeing as they're kids, with no money or resources, how in god's name they feed , clothe and generally provide for themselves is never addressed. (WTF???) Besides flying, some of them also have abilities like ESP and adult tech skills, SOMEHOW... once again, never explained nor even fully actualized... just, THERE, like when movie 'hackers' clack away at a keyboard and all of a sudden crack the FBI database or whatever.

Issues like this are just the tip of the proverbial iceberg of totally unexplainable and inexplicable bullshit that is rampant through the movie. I've heard of turning your brain off to enjoy a film but you'd have to be baseline retarded for this. (really no offence to mentally challenged, they have a leg up on this garbage).

Don't bother unless you're a glutton to see a favourite book of yours butchered.... also, on a side note that I found insanely laughable.... the 'flying' sequences were some of the worst I've seen since 'Flash Gordon: Saviour of the Universe' back in the late 70's... seriously... maybe even worse! I've seen higher quality visual effects from my 12 year old niece! Whoever did the SFX, you're never working in the industry again I'm afraid, unless the whole point of this thing was to launder money.

The acting wasn't horrible... that's about the only good thing I have to offer. Beware of this tripe.

11 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
Tonight's 'Midnight Special' is a 'Cleveland Steamer', 22 April 2016

Well, I didn't think it was possible but M. Night Shamalama-ding-dong has a contender for 'People Who Should Never Make Another Movie'. This pile of twaddle is not only boring and inscrutable, it relentlessly takes you on a journey to literally nowhere while explaining absolutely NOTHING! You want motivation? doesn't exist... you want reasoning? not there... you want ANY kind of explanation or exposition? impossibly lacking in this film! Top all that off with insane plot holes and I seriously have no clue how this flick even got made. The writer/director must have the most talented mouth on the planet is all I can figure... either that, or so much blackmail material on hand it would make Satan blush. Do yourself a favour and avoid this mess at all costs.

Tentacle 8 (2014)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Good acting, bad script, 18 August 2015

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Tentacle 8 is every conspiracy theorist, spy geeks wet dream on steroids and while the acting is very good, some of the dialogue is abysmally pretentious and the whole convoluted story is preposterous to say it lightly. The basic outline is thus... past middle age NSA spy nerd gets dragged into a vast conspiracy unwittingly while knocking up a hot spy babe he knows for all of ten minutes, gets renditioned and then manages to 'turn the tables' because, and I quote, 'he has a moral compass that's in the 0.5% OF the 0.5% of everyone tested' for this mythical 'Tentacle 8" program that NOBODY is aware of... not even him and HE'S in it!! Btw that percentile essentially makes him 'one in a billion'.... gag me with a spoon.

The movie tries desperately to make this entire intelligence community seem convoluted and entangled as all hell but the WAY they do it is by non-sensical dialogue that has no definitives and basically not explaining ANYTHING which is a crime in any movie because it just leaves the viewer confused, trying to fill in information that just doesn't exist. None of the characters have any back story or context except for the main guy and even his is minimal so trying to sort out where anybody stands is a chore unto itself and determining motivations is IMPOSSIBLE! I can't stress that one enough.

The pace of the movie is maddeningly slow to boot, possibly to 'aid' the viewer in trying to make sense of this opaque mess... so much so I almost turned it off and about half way through it starts playing with the order of things which REALLY didn't help things. I can only suggest this movie to people who really like being kept in the dark and like to confuse lack of information with depth... otherwise, I'd suggest leaving this one to steam in it's own pile.

29 out of 47 people found the following review useful:
HIGHLY disappointing!, 15 August 2015

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well, I have no clue WHAT was going on in the director's and writer's heads when they decided to MASSIVELY mess with the characters and story line. I know the comic to movie medium needs some alterations/compromise, but in this representation, the entire first 3/4 of the movie is pretty much butchered from the original manga AND anime... dropping the entire reasoning behind the characters motivations, leaving out key characters and replacing it with some truly pedantic filler that views much more like a plodding mess rather than developing intriguing characters who get into the action viscerally.

I can understand skipping the 'training' arc for expediency and the swap of horses for vehicles as horses would be an unnecessary nightmare to control in a movie like this but after the first Titan attack (15 mins in) to the next Titan confrontation (55 mins in), we are faced with some of the most drudging, shoehorned garbage I've seen in a loooong time. What the heck was the purpose of the two 'lovebirds' and their interaction?? pointless filler, and they're not the only ones.

It really feels like the director spent too much energy trying to get the 'feel' of the manoeuvre gear and Titans rather than putting more effort into the actual characters and with the film clocking in at just 90 minutes, they really could have extended it another half hour and put some real development into the actual 'world building' and characters so people could feel invested in the story.

The effects were surprisingly good... it's just a shame the story fails on so many levels and I'm saying that as a movie fan, not as a fan of the series itself. I really liked the recent 'Parasite' live adaptation because there was enough in there to build a good story even though a LOT was sacrificed from the original material.

Ah well, maybe the second part will redeem the production... I certainly hope so!

14 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Decent movie adaptation!, 4 August 2015

I haven't read the manga this is based on, but I HAVE seen the anime of it which was one of my favourites in the past few years and while the plot in this movie adaptation is very sped up, it is extremely well done! The story is cohesive enough even though plot points had to be edited and the special effects are superb considering what they COULD have been... beat the socks off San Andreas which was nothing BUT one long CGI sequence. Hollywood, take note... sometimes less IS more.

I can understand people who are new or haven't been exposed to the story possibly having a tough time 'getting it', but there really is enough to hang a story on... even with a giant chunk missing here and there. As for the detractors going on about how the original has been butchered, give it a rest would ya?? The anime clocked in at somewhere near 9 hours in it's entirety and yes, it was condensed from the manga, but what the heck do you need to be satisfied with a movie adaptation? Five to six full length movies? a few 3 hour movies?? get real here... there's an old saying that goes 'A movies length should be no longer than the average viewer's bladder capacity'. Get off your fandom, 'purist' snotty attitudes and accept it for what it is... a wholly ORIGINAL and satisfying experience that Hollywood could do FAR worse to emulate!

13 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
Rubbish, 17 November 2014

This was so bad, I honestly thought it was done by either TV Ontario (public access) or some awful CBC government funded pile surrounding LGBT programming. Never in a million years would I expect this to be British TV or even British student TV.... it is just insanely bad.

Right from the terrible acting, the whiny, discordant soundtrack where the sound levels go from whispering in a shoebox to blasting your ears off all the way to the dragged out unnecessary scenes of people taking three minutes to answer their phone or showing tidbits with no discernible function toward forwarding the story.... this 'production' is so beyond amateurish, dull and irritating as to be almost unwatchable.

Avoid at all costs unless you can somehow make a drinking game of it like whenever the show decides to blast your eardrums with melancholy, weepy music after you had to notch up the volume to make out the whispering of the poor, sad main character.

"19-2" (2014)
17 out of 61 people found the following review useful:
For depressives only..., 13 February 2014

Be WARNED! The above 'reviews' are obviously paid for or are shills for the show as 2 out of the 3 are from people who literally just joined IMDb March 4th to give their glowing reviews for ONLY this show. Ratings must stink if they have to pay people or cajole employees of it to get positive postings on this garbage. I have now watched 5 episodes and absolutely NOTHING positive or happy happens to ANYONE! It's so utterly ridiculously Canadian... we're either yukking it up or locked in this navel gazing depression as far as TV goes. I have no clue how good the French version of this show is, but the English 'remake' is utter circular bin fodder.

To summarize, a small town 'golden boy' provincial cop moves to the BIG CITY (Montreal) and gets paired up with a 'lone wolf' cop who just had his partner shot. The events in this show are so unbelievably disparaging as to be comedic.... they just go from one horrible situation to the next, all the while with plonking, melodramatic piano/cello/violin plaintively whining in the background.

It's almost like Degrassi Junior Cops, you know the teenage drama where almost every episode some kid gets knocked up, hooked on drugs or loses an eye? Same garbage only there's absolutely no moralistic lesson to be had except for maybe the world is a trashcan and cops are clinging to sanity either through heroic integrity (golden boy), sheer determination (lone wolf) or via some kind of self abuse like booze, drugs or sex (every single other cop).

I give this show less than one season unless the government is stroking it with our hard earned tax dollars in which case I expect at least three seasons of depressing decrepitude.

15 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
Disjointed and Pointless., 3 May 2013

I''m a large fan of good Anime , preferring the more 'adult' themed titles in general (NOT pornographic or fetish) and while this Anime did have an adult oriented theme running through it, it was mostly child based characters. This wasn't what detracted from the film though, it was the plot of a serial killer hunting girls that didn't have ANY cohesion to it whatsoever, a misleading title that means 'werewolf' in french but has nothing of the sort in the film and the most tenuous of connections to a 'lone wolf' that I've ever seen and characters that were boring bordering on inane. For example: the main 'boy' character's main feature was no character whatsoever... he was akin to an emotionless robot and the main 'girl' character... well she was annoying on multiple levels with he inability to communicate.. not that she couldn't, she has some kind of 'disorder' but the fact that over half of her utterances are just sighs, moans, 'ooohs' and 'ahhs' to the point that it almost seems like audio porn. Irritating and disgusting considering it's a 12 year old.

All in all, the story refused to explain itself throughout and ended with such an anti-climax I wanted to smash the screen in rage. Just because it's an adult oriented Anime with mature themes and pretty artwork does NOT make it any more palatable than an episode of Teletubbies!

Stay away from this one and save yourself an hour and a half of your time.

Survival Code (2013) (TV)
10 out of 43 people found the following review useful:
Alright for a pilot., 28 March 2013

This was a pilot for a TV series and was O.K., not the massive, breathtaking, wonderful production the top SEVEN reviews are gushing about and have OBVIOUSLY come from either people associated with the production or have some stake in it's continued(?) success.

For example, there's even a review from some guy in POLAND who's English is spot on and come ON get real people, there's no way this ever reached Polish TV, rental shops or whatever.... if you're going to post fake reviews, at least make them SEEM legit!

For a semi-scifi story, it's interesting enough and the acting is TV quality at best but it was better than a lot of the schlock that's being tossed our way these days. If it ever gets picked up for a full run, it might catch on for the plain fact that there IS so much garbage out there but I'm not holding my breath waiting for it to become a reality.... it just wasn't THAT engaging.

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