Reviews written by registered user
|14 reviews in total|
Well, I didn't think it was possible but M. Night Shamalama-ding-dong has a contender for 'People Who Should Never Make Another Movie'. This pile of twaddle is not only boring and inscrutable, it relentlessly takes you on a journey to literally nowhere while explaining absolutely NOTHING! You want motivation? doesn't exist... you want reasoning? not there... you want ANY kind of explanation or exposition? impossibly lacking in this film! Top all that off with insane plot holes and I seriously have no clue how this flick even got made. The writer/director must have the most talented mouth on the planet is all I can figure... either that, or so much blackmail material on hand it would make Satan blush. Do yourself a favour and avoid this mess at all costs.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Tentacle 8 is every conspiracy theorist, spy geeks wet dream on
steroids and while the acting is very good, some of the dialogue is
abysmally pretentious and the whole convoluted story is preposterous to
say it lightly. The basic outline is thus... past middle age NSA spy
nerd gets dragged into a vast conspiracy unwittingly while knocking up
a hot spy babe he knows for all of ten minutes, gets renditioned and
then manages to 'turn the tables' because, and I quote, 'he has a moral
compass that's in the 0.5% OF the 0.5% of everyone tested' for this
mythical 'Tentacle 8" program that NOBODY is aware of... not even him
and HE'S in it!! Btw that percentile essentially makes him 'one in a
billion'.... gag me with a spoon.
The movie tries desperately to make this entire intelligence community seem convoluted and entangled as all hell but the WAY they do it is by non-sensical dialogue that has no definitives and basically not explaining ANYTHING which is a crime in any movie because it just leaves the viewer confused, trying to fill in information that just doesn't exist. None of the characters have any back story or context except for the main guy and even his is minimal so trying to sort out where anybody stands is a chore unto itself and determining motivations is IMPOSSIBLE! I can't stress that one enough.
The pace of the movie is maddeningly slow to boot, possibly to 'aid' the viewer in trying to make sense of this opaque mess... so much so I almost turned it off and about half way through it starts playing with the order of things which REALLY didn't help things. I can only suggest this movie to people who really like being kept in the dark and like to confuse lack of information with depth... otherwise, I'd suggest leaving this one to steam in it's own pile.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Well, I have no clue WHAT was going on in the director's and writer's
heads when they decided to MASSIVELY mess with the characters and story
line. I know the comic to movie medium needs some
alterations/compromise, but in this representation, the entire first
3/4 of the movie is pretty much butchered from the original manga AND
anime... dropping the entire reasoning behind the characters
motivations, leaving out key characters and replacing it with some
truly pedantic filler that views much more like a plodding mess rather
than developing intriguing characters who get into the action
I can understand skipping the 'training' arc for expediency and the swap of horses for vehicles as horses would be an unnecessary nightmare to control in a movie like this but after the first Titan attack (15 mins in) to the next Titan confrontation (55 mins in), we are faced with some of the most drudging, shoehorned garbage I've seen in a loooong time. What the heck was the purpose of the two 'lovebirds' and their interaction?? pointless filler, and they're not the only ones.
It really feels like the director spent too much energy trying to get the 'feel' of the manoeuvre gear and Titans rather than putting more effort into the actual characters and with the film clocking in at just 90 minutes, they really could have extended it another half hour and put some real development into the actual 'world building' and characters so people could feel invested in the story.
The effects were surprisingly good... it's just a shame the story fails on so many levels and I'm saying that as a movie fan, not as a fan of the series itself. I really liked the recent 'Parasite' live adaptation because there was enough in there to build a good story even though a LOT was sacrificed from the original material.
Ah well, maybe the second part will redeem the production... I certainly hope so!
I haven't read the manga this is based on, but I HAVE seen the anime of
it which was one of my favourites in the past few years and while the
plot in this movie adaptation is very sped up, it is extremely well
done! The story is cohesive enough even though plot points had to be
edited and the special effects are superb considering what they COULD
have been... beat the socks off San Andreas which was nothing BUT one
long CGI sequence. Hollywood, take note... sometimes less IS more.
I can understand people who are new or haven't been exposed to the story possibly having a tough time 'getting it', but there really is enough to hang a story on... even with a giant chunk missing here and there. As for the detractors going on about how the original has been butchered, give it a rest would ya?? The anime clocked in at somewhere near 9 hours in it's entirety and yes, it was condensed from the manga, but what the heck do you need to be satisfied with a movie adaptation? Five to six full length movies? a few 3 hour movies?? get real here... there's an old saying that goes 'A movies length should be no longer than the average viewer's bladder capacity'. Get off your fandom, 'purist' snotty attitudes and accept it for what it is... a wholly ORIGINAL and satisfying experience that Hollywood could do FAR worse to emulate!
This was so bad, I honestly thought it was done by either TV Ontario
(public access) or some awful CBC government funded pile surrounding
LGBT programming. Never in a million years would I expect this to be
British TV or even British student TV.... it is just insanely bad.
Right from the terrible acting, the whiny, discordant soundtrack where the sound levels go from whispering in a shoebox to blasting your ears off all the way to the dragged out unnecessary scenes of people taking three minutes to answer their phone or showing tidbits with no discernible function toward forwarding the story.... this 'production' is so beyond amateurish, dull and irritating as to be almost unwatchable.
Avoid at all costs unless you can somehow make a drinking game of it like whenever the show decides to blast your eardrums with melancholy, weepy music after you had to notch up the volume to make out the whispering of the poor, sad main character.
Be WARNED! The above 'reviews' are obviously paid for or are shills for
the show as 2 out of the 3 are from people who literally just joined
IMDb March 4th to give their glowing reviews for ONLY this show.
Ratings must stink if they have to pay people or cajole employees of it
to get positive postings on this garbage. I have now watched 5 episodes
and absolutely NOTHING positive or happy happens to ANYONE! It's so
utterly ridiculously Canadian... we're either yukking it up or locked
in this navel gazing depression as far as TV goes. I have no clue how
good the French version of this show is, but the English 'remake' is
utter circular bin fodder.
To summarize, a small town 'golden boy' provincial cop moves to the BIG CITY (Montreal) and gets paired up with a 'lone wolf' cop who just had his partner shot. The events in this show are so unbelievably disparaging as to be comedic.... they just go from one horrible situation to the next, all the while with plonking, melodramatic piano/cello/violin plaintively whining in the background.
It's almost like Degrassi Junior Cops, you know the teenage drama where almost every episode some kid gets knocked up, hooked on drugs or loses an eye? Same garbage only there's absolutely no moralistic lesson to be had except for maybe the world is a trashcan and cops are clinging to sanity either through heroic integrity (golden boy), sheer determination (lone wolf) or via some kind of self abuse like booze, drugs or sex (every single other cop).
I give this show less than one season unless the government is stroking it with our hard earned tax dollars in which case I expect at least three seasons of depressing decrepitude.
I''m a large fan of good Anime , preferring the more 'adult' themed
titles in general (NOT pornographic or fetish) and while this Anime did
have an adult oriented theme running through it, it was mostly child
based characters. This wasn't what detracted from the film though, it
was the plot of a serial killer hunting girls that didn't have ANY
cohesion to it whatsoever, a misleading title that means 'werewolf' in
french but has nothing of the sort in the film and the most tenuous of
connections to a 'lone wolf' that I've ever seen and characters that
were boring bordering on inane. For example: the main 'boy' character's
main feature was no character whatsoever... he was akin to an
emotionless robot and the main 'girl' character... well she was
annoying on multiple levels with he inability to communicate.. not that
she couldn't, she has some kind of 'disorder' but the fact that over
half of her utterances are just sighs, moans, 'ooohs' and 'ahhs' to the
point that it almost seems like audio porn. Irritating and disgusting
considering it's a 12 year old.
All in all, the story refused to explain itself throughout and ended with such an anti-climax I wanted to smash the screen in rage. Just because it's an adult oriented Anime with mature themes and pretty artwork does NOT make it any more palatable than an episode of Teletubbies!
Stay away from this one and save yourself an hour and a half of your time.
This was a pilot for a TV series and was O.K., not the massive,
breathtaking, wonderful production the top SEVEN reviews are gushing
about and have OBVIOUSLY come from either people associated with the
production or have some stake in it's continued(?) success.
For example, there's even a review from some guy in POLAND who's English is spot on and come ON get real people, there's no way this ever reached Polish TV, rental shops or whatever.... if you're going to post fake reviews, at least make them SEEM legit!
For a semi-scifi story, it's interesting enough and the acting is TV quality at best but it was better than a lot of the schlock that's being tossed our way these days. If it ever gets picked up for a full run, it might catch on for the plain fact that there IS so much garbage out there but I'm not holding my breath waiting for it to become a reality.... it just wasn't THAT engaging.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
An utter waste of time. This was nothing but an ego production...
massaging someones attempts at writing and film making. While
TECHNICALLY solid, there was NO story to be had, no conclusions and
definitely no LOVE barring the grease spread so thoroughly around to
get this piece made. (just check out all the credits and you can tell
many, many people were schmoozed). I really don't care that it was made
with a budget of $500 K, Clerks was made with just over $12 K and makes
this look like a silk sow's ear.
Some of the visuals were nice and the camera work was solid but the movie fails on so many accounts I seriously don't know where to begin but I'll end it with this:
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Wow was this ever bad. From terrible acting to the recycled beast face
from The Fifth Element (a GOOD movie) stuck onto a shag carpet man-suit
to the insanely moronic behaviour of the characters that I can only
assume had to do the things they did because they were in the script as
nobody could even imagine being that stupid.
Stupidity in no particular order.... snowmobile gets trashed by some 'big hairy thing' but we'll check it in the morning, not leave... record film of giant hairy beast CLEARLY from multiple angles via remote cameras but no one can tell what it is 'it's a thing'... have run in with beast and get away back to cottage but we'll leave in the morning even though we're scared senseless... one person awakes really early before they take off so they can go look for Beast, leaves tranq gun in car because, well, why not?... bring bait to distract Beast but instead of a bag, drag it on a garbage can lid on a rope for miles... and on and on.
At one point in the movie, you can see the opening the 'actor' uses to get into the suit... they didn't even try to hide it, just let it look like a really bad stripe down is carpeted back.
Avoid like it as if it WERE a Beast trying to hunt you down!! unless you're going to make it a drinking game where you have one every time someone does something stupid or the daughter pouts... you should be plastered by the end.
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