Reviews written by registered user
|150 reviews in total|
This is not a "Matthew Rants," but more of a "Matthew Rambles." When I first heard about it, I was excited and when I saw it, I was not happy about it. I haven't felt this upset since I re-watched the 1998 GODZILLA in 2004. My mother was a fan of it, but was not happy about the film. I was planning to see it on the big screen, but couldn't because of the Blizzard of 2015! It is a good thing we saw it On-Demand. This movie is a mess! It is a Frankenstein's Monster made up a kids-drive adults bananas movie, a live-action cartoon, a (Disney Channel) sitcom, Wes Anderson style film-making, 101 DALMATIONS, A NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL and DIE HARD just to name a few. Nicole Kidman as the villain is a clone of Cruella DeVille she like animals for her morbid purposes! I bet kids were scared by the sharp objects she used. Hugh Bonneville, who played Robert Crawley om TV's DOWNTON ABBEY, is Mr. Brown and this is the kind of movie he would get off of his resume! DR. WHO's Peter Capaldi is Mr. Curry. Look what they done to him! Before in the books and cartoon adaptations, he was a haughty and grumpy sort of fellow and boomed "Bear!" when Paddington messed around with his stuff. He has gone from Squidward or Mr. Wilson to a wacky neighbor of those sitcoms! The gags are clever and the audience happen to be catered for those who watch stuff on Nickelodeon or Disney Channel. PADDINGTON has dropped into the neighborhood with the live-action versions of The Grinch and The Cat in the Hat. When he is taking out the garbage, just warn him about the Milpitas Monster (read my comment). So in a nutshell: It is a complete waste of time, a complete waste of money, a complete waste of talent artistic skill an a complete waste of celluloid. Rated PG for mischief, peril, crude humor and some scary scenes.
I got this movie on Blockbuster Video on DVD under the title, THE MUTANT BEAST. Let me tell you this movie is a complete waste of the following, a complete waste of talent, a complete of money, a complete of time and a complete waste of celluloid. Back by popular demand, it's "Matthew Rants!" Most monsters come from the supernatural (DRACULA, THE WOLF MAN and THE MUMMY), unexplored lands (KING KONG), and outer-space (THE THING, INVADERS FROM MARS and THE BLOB). Others are created by science gone mad, (FRANKENSTEIN, THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU and THE FLY) and atomic radiation (GODZILLA). In the 1970's pollution was a very big problem and filmmakers had ideas for movies about monsters being spawned by pollution. OK, introduction aside, to start off, the only good thing about this picture is Paul Frees' narration. I have no idea what's it trying to be, a comedy? Or a monster movie? The acting is dull and stupid! The teenagers who break into the skull out-stupid the Three Stooges, they don't know how to control their voices, they sound like game show announcers! Whether I saw this as a teenager or not, I would still be offended by that! There is also this Charlie Chaplin wannabe who is this drunk guy and with so much human drama, the viewer wishes to get to the part with the monster! Apart from the acting there are the special effects range from cheap stop-motion animation (which can make MYSTERIOUS PLANET (read my review of that picture) look like EQUINOX) to a man in a suit (that can make early GODZILLA movies look sophisticated). It also does a good job at putting you to sleep and obnoxiously waking you up (OK that is a bit of an overreaction there). The film started as a short subject from 1970 as a short little statement film called THE MONSTER WE ALL CREATED. Then there was plans for a feature, which took three years to make and this was the result. 20 years later, in the nineties, there was plans to make a sequel called THE MILPITAS MONSTER 2. As the tackling goes, "The city of Milpitas is all grown up, but it's not alone. THE MILPITAS MONSTER 2 - it's back, and this time we're not kidding." Bottom line: Although it gained some sort of cult status, this film goes into Cinema Snob territory. If there is a choice between this film and GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER, go with the latter. THE MILPITAS MONSTER is rated PG for scary scenes, mild language, thematic elements, and peril.
When I first saw this movie, I thought that it was going to be a superhero movie. But it wasn't! This movie is a satire on Michael Keaton's life and showbiz whereas SINGING IN THE RAIN is a satire on the arrival of talking pictures in 1929. Birdman is a parody of the BATMAN films he worked on even the character's voice is a spoof on the recent Batman films by Christopher Nolan. It is amusing that it almost looked like that it is done in one take, but it somehow there were editing shots spliced in here and there. The music is good and it is worth the watch. Naomi Watts was in this movie as Lesley and she was in Peter Jackson's KING KONG remake. Michael Keaton is going to be in a prequel to KING KONG called KONG: SKULL ISLAND along with J.K. Simmons (of WHIPLASH fame) and Tom Hiddleston (who was Loki in THOR and THE AVENGERS) which is coming out in 2017. I say bring it on! Bottom line: Great psychological drama. Rated R for strong language, violence, nudity, sexuality and drug use and reference.
All those news reports pressured me to see this movie. First off, there have been a lot of cartoons and comedies where dictators get tormented by cartoon characters. Daffy Duck, Popeye and Donald Duck tormented Hitler. The Three Stooges and Red Skeleton poked fun out of Hitler. Popeye fought the Japanese in "You're a Sap Mr. Jap." The Animaniacs tortured Sadam Hussein. Cartman from "South Park" tortured Osama Bin-Laden. Remember "Team America: World Police?" Here it is just taking it too far. They made fun of not only the dictator, but the people and the place. James Franco and Seth Rogen play out as a modern-day Laurel and Hardy with Franco as Laurel and Seth as Hardy. As for the writing, who wrote it? Did the Angry Video Game Nerd and Seth MacFarlane write it? Apart from raunchy profanity and scatological humor, there are a lot gory scenes done in the name of obnoxious frat-boy comedy! This movie is causing quite a stir and caused other ideas to spawn other movies to exploit it Kim Jong-Un. For instance, I heard of this monster movie coming out called "Kim Jong-Kong" where Kim Jong-Un's nuclear missile attack failed and the caused him to grow into a giant bound on destroying the world! There is an Indie-Gogo page asking for money. Bottom-line: Animation and film is an art and art is about self-expression or representation of something. In this case this is the art of going too far. Rated R for violence, language, nudity, gore and crude humor!
Once again, Laika does it again. First "Coraline" in 2009 and "Paranorman" in 2012. Now "The Boxtrolls" in 2014. This is based on the Alan Snow book, "Here There Be Monsters." To start off, it is very well executed in terms of animation and craftsmanship. Just look at how detailed those miniatures and models are created. They are very well detailed. Another thing that is great about it, is not only the music, but the voices too. Ben Kingsly and Simon Pegg are great, but the big round of applause should go to Dee Bradley Baker. Ever since I heard his voice-work in the "Powerpuff Girls" episode, "Super Zeroes", I thought he did weird voices, but when I heard his performance of the monster in that episode, I my liking grew ridiculously strong and I began liking his performance in "American Dad" and "Codename: Kids Next Door". I would like to point out that it is very well written and I found some humorous scenes that range from rude and crude to Pythonesque (i.e. similar to Monty Python). Speaking of which there are many scenes with a lot of crude humor, but there are also scary scenes. For the sake of warning, I am going to give you some examples. OK just one, Archibald Snatcher, the villain, I mean just look how creepy and grisly he looks. Especially when he lures up to the camera or the camera lures up to him. I bet children and adults were reacting with laughter and screaming in terror when they saw those scenes in 3D. Especially when they were grossed out. Hence the PG rating. Would this be the future of family films? Some scenes are not suitable for sensitive viewers, especially if they are children under the age of seven. I mean fifteen to twenty years from now people would talk about the time they saw this when they were kids and say how some scenes scary. I love it, so I highly recommend it. Especially as a film to watch on Halloween. Rated PG for peril and some scary scenes. If you didn't know, this has been another "Matthew Praises."
After the success of KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (1962), it was time for Toho to make two sequels that both came out that year. GODZILLA VS. THE THING (a.k.a. GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA) and GHIDRAH: THE THREE-HEAD MONSTER (both 1964). It has come to my attention that the two other monsters that team up with the big G had their own movies before they were involved. Rodan and Mothra. Akira Ifukube's score is awesome and the special effects by Eiji Tsuburaya are wonderful. This movie has a sense of wonder. They are many reasons why people rooted for Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra when they fight the three-headed golden dragon-like Goliath. To me, even though he is modeled after the hydra from Greek mythology, it is because, before hand, there was this multi-headed dragon from the DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS cartoon that scared me (read my review on that cartoon) and seeing Godzilla take him down with his fellow team-mates reminds me of the 70's Hanna-Barbera cartoon of the big G (also read my comment on that cartoon). This was the movie that turned Godzilla from villain to hero and he will do that over the next 11 years. King Ghidorah would be a recurring character in the franchise. So there you have it. I highly recommend it. Bottom line: Give it a watch because it's great fun. Not rated, but a G would be nice.
This is a wild sequel to the 2011 hit! The film has a tendency to make fun of itself and what people think of the previous film. It's cute and funny and there is something I would like to point out: the villain Constantine the Frog looks like he can win a trophy for the Gru-Impersonating Contest. In fact, this film is trying to rival the success of the "Despicable Me" films. Some scenes feel like something straight out of Universal's CG movies with those yellow freaks while others are just referencing and paying tribute to themselves (i.e. The Muppets). One song I liked was "Make your Dreams Come True." Which looked like as if it was made 33 years ago (circa. 1981). I am not going give it a way, but there is a nice term that goes like this "Quit while you are ahead." Here is why. First off, if they go on to make a third Muppet movie, it is bound to be (a lot) less successful than the previous films. (e.g. "Shrek the Third", "Jurassic Park 3", "High School Musical 3", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3".) Second, why not reboot the TV variety show "The Muppet Show" and have more guest stars like Arnold Schwartzenegger, Jim Carrey, Eminem, Luke Evans or Anthony Hopkins". Better yet why not an animated series based on the comic book, "The Muppet Show". Have the team behind "Phineas and Ferb" do it. So there you have it. While the first film is about Gary and Mary, the second is about those cute and lovable cloth creatures. Bottom line: Fun for the whole family. Rated PG for action and peril. Go figure. Good luck and be careful Muppets.
There are a lot of cartoons that turning into live-action movies. "Popeye", "Masters of the Universe", "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles", "Flintstones", "Inspector Gadget", "Scooby-Doo", "Alvin and the Chipmunks" "Speed Racer" (read my comment) and "Transformers". So how about "Dan vs." Well here is your live-action adaptation, except with different characters and a plot similar to a typical episode of the negative family-unfriendly cartoon. This one revolves around a guy named Frank who has his world turned upside-down by the media and people being controlled by it, turning into jerks. Time to fight jerk with jerk. While Dan handles his annoyance immaturely, Frank handles it maturely, but like Dan, approaching it in an angry and destructive manner. Along the way he meets a girl, Roxy who has the same persona as him and is passionate to team up with him and they go out on a limb like Bonnie and Clyde. As I was watching it, when Roxy arrives to the scene, Frank changes to the Chris character and Roxy becomes the Dan character, except, she wants to tag along where in the other, Dan forces Chris to tag along and he follows. Dan has a plan, but Chris doesn't. Frank has a plan and Roxy is willing to follow! There is one scene that shows a nice establishing shot showing a little girl crying and acting like a spoiled brat like the teenage girl on the TV. This is showing that the media, specifically the negativity of the media, is corrupting not only the youth, but ourselves and our society. In the film Frank tells his friend at work about an "American Idol"-like show and compares it to the Roman Colosseum. He said, "Why have a civilization if we are not being civilized." I like that line. In fact all that crap on MTV, Bravo, Style (now Esquire Network) are loaded with reality shows where it has drama and I am not talking about the soap-opera drama, I am talking about the drama where people complain, rant and scream in an angry manner over the little things. To quote a certain character who will not be named, "There are two things I do not like: People who are fussy and people who are annoying." How is that drama?! That is NOISE that is a chaotic riot. It inspires people to be nasty with themselves not to mention ruin the peace and quiet. Si-len-ci-o! Y silencio es correcto. That's Spanish for "and silence is right." So there is one more scene that I would like to talk about that was shown in the preview and that is the part where Frank and Roxy were going to the movies and there are people talking and texting and how do they shut them up? Simple by killing them. This inspired the Batman movie massacre in Colorado in 2012. When I saw that scene, I was thinking that someone would copy that. Sadly that prediction came ridiculously early! Haven't they heard of an usher?! I'm sorry this movie might have been inspired by "Dan vs." This cartoon is the 800 pound gorilla in the room on why the media is messing up society's minds. The sad thing is that this cartoon once aired on The Hub back then. It was a family-friendly channel. There was "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic", "Pound Puppies", "Transformers" and "Dan Vs." One of the thing is not like the others and that's "Dan Vs." Apart from it for being negative, it has some scenes that are bound to inspire bullying, kidnapping, vandalism and terrorism! Not only that, but there are scary scenes that can make "Scooby-Doo" look like "Sesame Street". I don't watch reality TV. I don't watch, MTV, Bravo, E! and Style... I mean Esquire Network. I watch shows like "Face Off", "Jim Henson's Creature Shop Challenge", "Monster Man" and "Fake Off". This is because that these are smart and creative shows! Also, I got an image to maintain here. In a word gone mad, what's it going to take for one to sustain his good image and attitude. I am not a douche-bag. I am not a destructive jerk. I don't go around sexting. Never! I am kind and reasonable. Also I am creative and witty! Not to mention analytical. So there is more to life than just (reality) TV. It is a good thing that there are online critics like me to provide you with recommendations and danger signs to give people an understanding on why they should watch it or avoid it. Speaking of which, Bottom line: Watch "God Bless America" at your own risk. You will not like what you see. Rated R for violence, profanity, usage of alcohol and weaponry as well as negative messages. This has been another "Matthew Rants". (I have a feeling that someone is going to give me flack via private message or praise me via private message.)
You heard me, I can't believe what I saw. This is a monster that is not like the previous Dracula pictures. This is a Frankenstein's Monster made up of other movies such as "300" (read my review), "The Hobbit", "Pirates of the Caribbean", "Twilight", Christopher Nolan's "Batman" trilogy and "Man of Steel". In other words, it is to much on the action, drama, fantasy and adventure, but less on the horror (the only scary scene there is the tarantula in the cave). It plays out like a prequel to the Dracula stories, but there are scenes that predate later characters. For instance, the man who called Dracula master, might be Reinfeld's ancestor. Dracula in "Dracula Untold" has turned into an epic hero and Frankenstein has turned into a gritty, butt-kicking detective in "I Frankenstein." Godzilla in the film under the same name is left alone (thank goodness). I think Universal is trying to reboot their classic monsters to make a cinematic universe much in the same way as those Marvel Superhero movies. Luke Evans is great and the same goes to the special effects. As the old saying goes, there is nothing new under the sun, which is why Hollywood keeps spewing out remakes, sequels, prequels, spin-offs and reboots. Not to mention adapting TV shows, cartoons, comics and books (specifically the ones for young adults, but there are other books out there that deserve to be movies). It is not as awful as, let's say, "The Room", "Battlefield Earth" or classics like "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie". Bottom line: This movie is good for anyone who enjoys action movies. Oh well, nobody is perfect. Rated PG-13 for violence, brief nudity, gore and your usual run-of-the-mill scary scenes.
Wow! Just Wow! I heard about it, I read about it, but I did not see it until I saw it on "Svengoolie". Let me tell you, it is incredible on what adventures he faces and the perils he runs into such as cats, spiders, and water! The guy who made this movie was the same guy who directed "The Creature from the Black Lagoon", "Revenge of the Creature", "Tarantula" and "Monster on Campus". Yup! Jack Arnold alright (he also directed some episodes of "Gilligan's Island"). What made this scary, was the cat and the spider. The cat, gives you and experience on what's it like to be in the shoes of Jerry the Mouse when he is chased by Tom the Cat. The spider, well it is scary and he wants to re-create the magic or terror from his previous film, "Tarantula". The little eight-legged beast is crawling up to the camera and this is not for the arachnophobic. It is quite interesting and scary. I saw the spoof with Lily Tomlin called, "The Incredible Shrinking Woman", but that was a parody with a friendly gorilla in place of the mean cat and scary spider. Speaking of which, there were a lot of spoofs in cartoons such as the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" where Michelangelo shrunk and that Donkey Kong cartoon on "Saturday Supercade" as well that Tom and Jerry cartoon from Filmation called "The Incredible Shrinking Cat." Speaking of which, I don't think it needs a remake. The original was gold and timelessly inspirational. So no, leave it alone. (Read my "Creature from the Black Lagoon" review.) There was going to be a sequel called "The Fantastic Shrinking Girl", but it never got made. I highly recommend it for all you thrill-seekers out there. The trouble is, it is too scary for children, especially when they are under the age of seven. Although, this film is unrated, a nice PG would work and here is why: Because of all the scary going-ons and the danger our hero runs into.
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