2 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
The Poseidon Adventure (2005 TV Movie)
One word: Shande!
8 January 2006
Remember the tag line on the poster for the original? It was "Hell, Upside Down". Well, this little TV movie of the week is definitely from hell. And it does, of course, turn upside down. It may also turn your stomach upside down if you're stupid enough to sit through this garbage.

I can't believe anyone in their right minds would associate their names with this piece of dreck. Oh, I forgot. If I were Steve Guttenberg, I suppose I'd be thrilled if the phone rang with a job. Too bad he was home the day his agent called with this audition. Too bad he auditioned. Too bad he got it. Too bad he took it. But, I suppose he does have mortgage to pay. Bless his heart. But I shouldn't just pick on poor Steve. Ditto Rutger Hauer. Bless his heart, too.

The producer should be taken out and beaten with a stick. So should the executives at the network who decided to buy and air this. It must have been bring your toddler to work week at NBC, and some little one got into an office he shouldn't have, pushed a button and sent TV Guide their weekly listings with this reject in the Sunday night slot.

I can't believe I was able to sit through this whole thing. What an embarrassment. If you've got a few hours of your life to kill and don't mind throwing a chunk of it away, watch this if it ever comes out on DVD, which I pray to my personal God, for YOUR sake, Poseidon enthusiast, it wont! Let's hope for something better when the film remake comes out.

I'm not holding my breath.

PS - for those of you who don't know, Shande is a Yiddish word which translates to: THE MOST HORRENDOUS DISGRACE EVER! Belle would know. Well, Shelley would DEFINITELY know. This other hack cast in her part, I'm not so sure.
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Alfie (2004)
What's it all about?.....Not a hell of a lot.
5 November 2004
As charming and handsome as Jude Law is, this film is pretty pedestrian. And for a film done in NYC, it's really hard to figure out some of the locations -- unless some of the restaurants were in Brooklyn and I don't recognize them....They could've saved the money on the NYC location shoot and done this one in least it would have been less of a waste of the film's budget, and would have saved Paramount a bit of the loss they'll probably be taking on this dud. Unfortunately, another bad footnote on Sherry Lansing's resume at that studio. You don't get too much of an idea of why any of these women would be especially compelling for Alfie, other than their looks. An all around waste of talent....And why, oh why, does Graydon Carter feel compelled to be an actor? Editing Vanity Fair doesn't keep him busy enough, I guess .What an ego! My your $10.25 and wait for the DVD or pay-per-view.
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