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kylehaines96

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229 reviews in total 
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A Thrilling Saga Of A Man Who Was Trapped In The Closet., 5 July 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Warning Spoilers!

Westart Out with Sylvester played by R. Kelly who wakes up in a different bed. He is in the home of a woman named Cathy played by LeShay N. Tomlinson who tells Sylvester to hide in her closet because her husband Rufus played by Rolando Boyce is home. Rufus finds Sylvester and Sylvester holds Rufus at Gunpoint telling him he has to leave. Rufus says that he has to see this and calls up somebody to his apartment. When the mysterious person arrives Cathy and Sylvester are shocked to see it is a man.

Rufus has been cheating on Cathy with another man named Chuck played by Malik Middleton. Sylvester rushes home because another man answers his phone. He finds his Wife Gwendolyn played by Cat Wilson has been cheating on Sylvester with a man named James played by Michael Kenneth Williams. Sylvester and James get in a fight which makes James Fire his gun and shoot Gwendolyn's Brother Twan played by Eric Lane.

Twan Is still alive and well and was just shot in th arm. James goes home to his wife Bridget played by Rebecca Field who has been cheating on James with Big Man played by Drevon Cooks. The first 12 chapters ends with Bridget revealing that she is pregnant and Big Daddy is the father.

This is the best Hip Hoprea I have seen. Call it my Guilty Pleasure because It definitely falls under the so bad it's good category.

Rated R For Pervasive Language And Brief Sexuality.

43min.

10 uses of The F-word.

****/****

Bubsy 3D (1996) (VG)
2 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
Truly One Of The Worst Games Of All Time., 20 June 2012
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I am the first person to review this game. Is that an honor or disgrace? The game features Bubsy The Bobcat who game company Accolade tried to push as there mascot and got famous but for all the wrong reasons. The first 2 Bubsy Games were dumb but not as bad as this one which is a bland plat-former which is apparently the winner of the non-existent Gold-X award. Bubsy is stranded on a distant planet and has to find the parts of his Rocket Ship. This game has horrible Graphics, Terrible voice acting and bad controls. I say skip this one.

Rated E.

16 Levels.

BOMB/****

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
The Biggest Gross-Out Movie I Have Ever Seen, 19 June 2012
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

What this film does is push the envelope on what they can show in a motion picture. I will have to admit this film had some moments that were even hard for me to watch.

The film is about the group being sent to Hell and in order to be sent back to earth they have to complete the 7 deadly sins.

Like I said This is a very gross film. People drink liposuction and there is vomiting everywhere. But there are funny stunts and is worth a watch. This review is very short because there is not a lot you can say about a movie like this.

Rated R For Extremely Crude And Dangerous Stunts Throughout, Sexual Content, Nudity And Pervasive Language.

1hr 34min/94min.

460 uses of the F-word.

***/****

Friday (1995)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
A Lot Can Go Down Between A Thursday And A Saturday., 19 June 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is one of the few good comedies to ever come out of the 90's.

The film is about Craig played by Ice Cube and his buddy Smokey played by Chris Tucker who are faced with the dilemma of paying Smokey's boss $200 by the end of the day or they are dead. And that's just about it.

While this film is simple I enjoyed and laughed frequently. The neighborhood has a lot of colorful Characters and Chris Tucker steals the whole show. Sorry this one is short but There is just not a lot to write about this film.

Rated R For Pervasive Strong Language And Drug Use, And For A Brutal Fight.

Theatrical Cut: 1hr 31min/91min. Director's Cut: 1hr 37min/97min.

85 uses of the F-word.

****/****

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
United By Hate, Divded By Truth., 19 June 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Warning: Spoilers.

The film starts out in a quiet suburban neighborhood where Danny Vinyard played by Edward Furlong alerts his older brother Derek Vinyard played by Edward Norton, A white supremacist, that 3 members of The Crips are outside trying to steal his car. Derek gets his gun and kills two of them. The other one, It turns out is there because earlier he lost a basketball game to Derek and wanted to exact payback. Derek is arrested and sent to jail for 3 years.

While in Prison, Derek gets brutally assaulted and raped by other white supremacist's because he was conversing with an African American. He gets a visit from his old High School teacher Mr. Sweeny played by Avery Brooks telling Derek that Danny is starting to act like Derek.

3 Years later Derek is Released and hears the news of Danny having to write a paper on Derek's Incarceration because the previous paper that Danny wrote was praising Adolf Hitler. Danny at first does not want to do this but Derek insist's and tells him not to go the Surpremisist party, which Danny goes to anyway. Derek finds out and beats up his old mentor Cameron played by Stacey Keach and is shunned from the party.

The next morning Derek walks Danny to school. When Danny is done using the Urinal a kid, From which he had a confrontation with the previous day, is there, pulls out a gun and shoots Danny in the Chest , Killing him. Derek holds Danny in his arms and questions why this happened.

This has to be one of the top 10 films of the 1990's that I have seen. Edward Norton's performance is just pure Brilliance, The story is very emotional, Has great Character Development and has a powerful impact on you after you are done watching it. This was recommended to me by my Church youth group leader's Wife and I thank her because It was truly powerful.

Rated R For Graphic Brutal Violence Including Rape, Pervasive Language, Strong Sexuality And Nudity.

1hr 59min/119min.

235 uses of the F-word.

****/****

5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Drop Dead Fred Should Drop Dead., 1 June 2012
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Drop Dead Fred is one of those rare films. One where you get so angry at the film that you want meet the filmmakers and strangle them for making such a terrible film.

The film stars Phoebe Cates from Gremlins and Gremlins 2 The New Batch stars in this clunky comedy with no laughs at all and Rik Mayall of British Fame whose performance is so annoying and frustrating to deal with for 103 minutes. The film is about Elizabeth Corrin played by Phoebe Cates who meet her imaginary friend Drop Dead Fred played by Rik Mayall from her childhood.

This is a horrible movie and cannot understand why anybody thought that this would be a great idea. The performances are dry and annoying, the story is clunky and the comedy, for a comedy, is just... not... there! This is my pick for the absolute worst film of 1991.

Rated PG-13 For Language and Crude Behavior 1hr 43min/103min.

BOMB/****

Scarface (1983)
0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Say Hello To My Little Friend!, 22 May 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Brian De Palma has directed many classics like Carrie, The Untouchables and Mission Impossible. But he has been recognized for a movie much bigger than that; Scarface. And why not? It's A Classic. Warning there will be spoilers.

The film begins With Antonio "Tony" Montana played by Al Pacino and his 3 friends Manny played by Steven Bauer, Angel played by Pepe Serna and Chi Chi played by Angel Salazar who get sent to a refugee camp. After obtaining a low end job, Tony and Manny are greeted by Omar Suarez played by F. Murrary Abraham To get his boss Frank played by Robert Loggia The drugs that people owe him to which they both accept.

After Tony, Manny, Angel and Chi Chi go to the deal which goes quickly awry. The dealers kill Angel with a chainsaw(Offscreen). Before doing the same to Tony Manny and Chi Chi storm the apartment and kill the dealers gang. After Tony kills the head dealer Him and Manny arrive at Franks' to give him the money, where Tony meets Franks' Wife Elvira Hancock played by Michelle Pfeiffer.

Months later Tony visits his mother Georgina played by Miriam Colon and his sister Gina played by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio Whom he is extremely protective of. Tonys' Mother throws him out in a fit of rage because of his life of crime. Manny expresses interest in dating Gina but Tony angrily warns him to stay away from her.

Frank sends Tony and Omar to Bloivia to make a transaction with Alejandro Sosa played by Paul Shenar. Tony starts to make unauthorized deals on Franks behalf. As Omar begins to head home angry at Tony He is killed by Sosas' Henchman because he was a police informant. Upon returning from Miami Frank is outraged with The unauthorized deals.

At the Babylon Club Tony is confronted by a police Lt. who offers Tony Police protection to which he declines. Tony is then attacked by Two Men Sent By Frank. After Tony Kills The Two Henchmen He arrives at Franks And kills The police Lt. and Frank. He then Marries Elvira and is now working for Sosa.

A few months later Elvira becomes addicted to Cocaine and because her womb is destroyed by all of the drug toxins, her and Tony cannot have a baby which angers Tony who yells at her in the middle of a crowded Resteraunt.

After Being Ordered by Sosa to kill a journalist via car bomb. Tony refuses because of the man having a wife and two kids and shoots one of the henchmen. Sosa is angered and Orders Tony To Be Killed. After killing Many because he was dating Gina, Gina Gets killed and Tony Wants to avenge her death. After taking 53 bullets from Sosas' henchmen Tony is killed by the head of the henchman landing under a statue saying,"The World Is Yours".

This is a classic and should be seen by more people today. Filled with action, suspense, violence and a great performance by Al Pacino, this is one not to be missed.

Rated R For Sequences Of Strong Bloody Graphic Violence And Drug Use Throughout, Pervasive Strong Language, And Sexual Content/Nudity.

2hrs 50min/170min.

223 uses of the F-word.

****/****

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Don't Fall Asleep., 19 May 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Bonus 31 Days Of Horror Reviews Part 1.

After seeing all of the Freddy films I was very excited to see Never Sleep Again. It took a long time but I finally got the chance to see and so far it is the longest film I have ever seen thus far.

The documentary expands on many topics like The Gay subtext of A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge to the not so hot success of the Freddy's Nightmares T.V. Show to the long years of development of Freddy Vs. Jason to the Box Office Decline of A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 The Dream Child to the supposed end to the series with Freddy's Dead The Final Nightmare. What ever this documentary talks about is entertaining every single minute. The cast and crew of the films have interesting stories to talk about and has some very rare and cool archival footage from some of the movies. if you are a fan of the A Nightmare On Elm Street Franchise and have not yet seen this then what are you waiting for? Check It Out immediately.

Not Rated.

4hrs/240min.

17 uses of the F-word.

****/****

Heat (1995)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
You Need To Get In And Out Without Any Heat Following You., 17 May 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The film is about Neil McCauley played by Robbert DeNiro and his gang start creating violent bank robberies all around the town of L.A. This gets on the radar of Lt Vinncent Hanna played by Al Pacino who wants to make it his mission to put these guys in jail.

Halfway Through the film Pacino and DeNiro can settle their differences and sit down for a cup of coffee together talking about their daily lives. This is a nice little segway from the film.

This is really well done film. Both Vetran actors Pacino and Deniro are terrific in this one with the best scene being the one I just mentioned. The plot is really well done. I like how real the gunfights are. All you hear are the sound effects of bullets, no music like most movies do. The characters are well developed and The final chase is great. This film is a must for Pacino, DeNiro and Gangster Fans alike.

Rated R For Violence And Language.

2hrs 52min/172min.

56 uses of the F-word.

****/****

Casper (1995)
A Family Targeted Movie But Really For Adults., 5 May 2012
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Just about every single cartoon has been turned into a feature length film. So in 1995 Universal decided to do a film of Casper. So to ask the same question as I did in my Josie And The Pussycats Review, Does it work?

The film is about Dr. James Harvey played by Bill Pullman and his daughter Kat played by Christina Ricci who move into a new house in Friendship, Maine. Little do they Know that the house they moved into has a friendly ghost named Casper. The house is also being over run by SNOOTY rich girl Carrigan Crittendon played by Cathy Moriarty and her assistant Dibs played By Eric Idle who want the fortune in the house.

This movie works in so many ways because I think it appeals more to adults than to kids. This is a really vulgar film filled with a ton of curse words and sexual innuendos. The film is very funny (Especially The cameo made by Dan Akroyd playing Ray From Ghostbusters)and I would pop this movie in anytime of the day. Definitely check this out.

Rated PG For Mild Language And Thematic Elements.

1hr 41min/101min.

****/****


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