Reviews written by registered user
|143 reviews in total|
Ultraviolet features some of the most incredible action sequences on film, some of the best comic book style cinematography, a kick ass score and a diva licious performance from Jovovich. What it also features which most people will unknowingly pass by. Is a huge social- political subtext with stabs at religion and disease control. Jovovich in a color changing outfit and hair style stars as Violet a young woman who was accidentally turned into a hemophage. The futuristic term for vampire, after the government created a virus that went a muck and ended up infecting a huge portion of the population. After being quarantined, experimented on and her pregnancy terminated she joins the hemophages in a war against humans. Enter Six played confidently by Cameron Bright a young boy whose also a weapon he holds an antogen that can destroy the population. Needless to say everyone is after him, Violet is on her own and protecting him. It's pretty standard stuff but there is a strong maternal instinct seen between the two actors and makes the film much more important. Also separating the film form the usual Hollywood garbage is a undeniable subtext about society. There's a huge religious emphasis in the film from the appearance of crucifixes, color schemes and stigmata. Along with that comes the decision to rally the infected into camps where they disappear courtesy of the gov't. Because after becoming infected your no longer deemed human by society's standards. Also the creation of a virus to control the population is scary stuff but is it really so far from reality. The film asks probing questions sugar coated with flashy action sequences and wondrous cinematography and that is. Utterly breathtaking. From the vivid colors to the camera dynamics the film represents a completely new step in the right direction. As a whole it's a completely original experience. Sadly, most people won't see it as so. Distracted by some bad acting, the unbelievability of the scenario, some hammy dialogue and the disbelief that hot chicks kick butt. People will be turned off. It's a very sad thing though because for all the bad stuff Ultraviolet offers it wins itself over in spades of originality, brilliance and intelligence.
OK so the only reason I even considered seeing this film was because I discovered Ellie Cornell was in it. I love her in Halloween 4 and 5 and than she took a very long break and came back with a very monotone performance in ultra trashy camp fest House of the dead. So I fgured she was in it and could ensure the film some laughs. Sadly, she's only in the first ten minutes though. but the film manages to be unintentionally funny on it's own and in some respects just not that bad. Besides the fact that the characters are dumb as doornails the film features a decent premise, an attractive cast and some good makeup. The direction is pretty bad, but the cinematography and score are surprisingly confident. A young couple on the way to a family gathering get into a small accident in a small town in Mexico. They become stranded there when they find a tortured young woman and their car won't start. they are instructed to stay at the town's hotel for the night while the day of the dead celebration commences. yada-yada- yada. Their friends come and the dead come to life. Nothing to original with a decent crypt- esquire twist. But You've gotta love the hammy dialogue and acting especially between the women in this film, or the old woman with a crazy axe. For the film's biggest laugh check out the blonde girl's escape from the house. Pure camp here people, love it or hate. It is what it is.
FINAL MY ASS...a review for Final Destination 3
There is no doubt in my mind that Final Destination 3 is a bad movie. It features the worst performances of the 3 and takes it's subject matter way to seriously. Unintentionally intended as a dark comedy series the second one had the smarts to have fun with the concept with a winking eye all the while. Add that to the fact that it also managed to take it in a slightly new direction. I wasn't as impressed with the first film as other people although it laid the ground work I felt it was nothing more than a slasher movie with no visible slasher. But the performances added some extra zest and the story was told well. Now with this entry brought to you from the makers of the original and featuring no returning cast members (too bad cause we liked them) we are given a carbon copy version of the first over exaggerated of course with some highlight death sequences. This time around it finds a highly emotional and over acting young woman who has a premonition about a roller coaster ride gone crazy. She of course gets off with a few classmates and they begin to die in brutal ways. And yes they are viciously grotesque this time around. although the opening scene is some what of a disappointment the deaths following it of one dimensional characters are increasingly disturbing and graphic. But thats all the film has to offer. The story is tired and not very involving and a bit confusing to be honest. The dialogue is poorly written and the performances range from humorous to bland. But like most people I found myself cheering at the death sequences. and I guess this type of film is just gory fun and should be taken that way. But i can't help but feel they intended something slightly more memorable for this entry because of all the strenuos and illogical conversations. At one time I had heard that this film was initially supposed to be in 3-D and I believe it more now than ever. 3-D movies aren't usually that great because they spend so much time focusing on the effects . There are a lot of things thrusted toward you at the screen that would have looked great in 3-d but look a bit flat and comical on regular transfer. Oh well I guess they just missed the mark... And as for the film being Final. Final my ass the way they have it going now with no continuation of the other films, it can just happen to new groups of people and go on forever. Hopefully the people that did the second one will return for the fourth which still remains to be the best of the series... and thats not saying a whole lot. **1/2 (out of five)
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The first 20 minutes of the classic 70's shocker When a stranger calls was among the most terrifying ever filmed. But the film quickly fell into putrid nonsense only to pick up some slight fear factor once again in the last ten minutes. The sequel follow in it's predecessor's footsteps it had a killer beginning and than just became a bore afterwards only to end with a bang. So it's safe to say that my expectations weren't very high add that to the fact that Simon West director of the horrid Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was in charge and I pretty much gave up. However, I'm happy to report I was wrong. This new version of "stranger" manages to elaborate on the originals fear. Sure it's not the best movie and it's chock full of standard horror clichés and sound effects but the film certainly delivers. From the moment it horrifyingly begins when a babysitter and her children are brutally murdered next to a carnival it mounts the dread. We than meet Jill Johnson played confidantly by beautiful Camilla Belle. She has just broken up with her boyfriend for kissing her best friend and is grounded because she went way over the minutes on her cell phone. Her punishment is simple to babysit in the middle of nowhere so that she can begin to make some money to pay off the cell phone bill. It starts out scary enough as she circles the huge stylish house and than the phone calls begin asking her if she's checked the children. At first she takes it light hearted enough assuming it's a prank. But than the terror begins to escalate with strange sounds, unexpected visits and more phone calls leading up to a terrifying revelation and some standard issue thriller cat and mouse chasing. Now although not totally successful in it's effect the film cleverly takes the originals terrifying 20 minutes and stretches them out for an hour and 23 minutes. It's short , sweet and terrifying. The film doesn't offer anything new to witness but it offers the standard with zest and confidance and the standard horror house clichés work so well when executed properly. By the numbers with a scream! ***1/2 (out of five)
THE CORPSE BRIDE Warner Bros 2005 color 83 minutes Musical/Fantasy featuring the voices of Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter Directed by Tim Burton Rated PG for adult themes Hot off the creative gem remake Charlie and the Chocalate Factory Burton returns to his artistically drab Nightmare before Christmas roots for a pleasant if over hyped excursion into the after life. Corpse Bride tells the tale of a nervous gentleman wonderfully modeled after Johnny Depp who gets cold feet on his wedding rehearsal and while practicing in the woods accidentally marries the corpse bride. a young woman whom met an early demise on her wedding day. There is obviously lots of singing and macabre gimmicks as he tries to escape her and return to his real fiancée. The movie is littered with creative ideas and imagination galore. But it ends up a little on the shallow side when it comes to feeling like a complete film. Although hauntingly beautiful and a glorious technical achievement topping nightmare before Christmas's wizardy the film relies too much on it's underdeveloped characters and storyline to pull it's weight through. In the end it remains nothing more than brilliantly artistic, souless but a hauntingly beautiful piece of artwork. But it's a nice one indeed. ***(out of five)
Dirty Love Dej 2005 Color 95 minutes Comedy Jenny Mccarthy, Carmen
Electra, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Kam Heskin, Victor Webtser, Lochlyn Munro
and Kathy Griffin star. Written by Jenny Mccarthy Directed by John
Mallory Asher Raterd R for strong language, violence, crude humor,
sexuality, nudity and drug use It's a dirty shame I went to see this
film out of the blue with a couple of friends the same day i found out
about it by accident and watched the hilarious trailer. I thought
Mccarthy's slight turns in Scream 3 and Scary Movie 3 were hilarious.
and I've always loved the bitchy girl sense of humor. Some of the
funniest films I've ever seen are The Sweetest Thing, Mean girls,
Clueless, etc. Let me start by saying that is film is not for everyone.
But for the people that get it and I'm one of them it's absolutely
freiggin hilarious. You won't be able to breathe you'll be laughing so
hard. Mccarthy's genuine comic genius is brilliantly displayed in this
crude feminist flick about broken hearts, lost dignity, failed revenge
and new found love.
MCcarthy stars as Rebecca a young woman who just walked in her her hot model boyfriend played by cocky Webtser while he has having sex with some girl. In distress with her smashed heart she moves in with her friends and tries to move on while going on a string of humiliating dates one after another. Now I could really get into the jokes and I could go on for hours. Cause there are so many funny jokes from her period in the supermarket, her hanging breast, a bass fish, a weirdo magician, an ecstasy trip and a falling piano amongst many others. Cutie pie Eddie Kaye Thomas of American Pie fame plays the young man trying to win Mccarthy's bruised heart. Adding some hilarious zest into the mix is the surprisingly comedic Carmen Electra as her ghetto fabulous friend whom think shes a stereo typical black person. The film's main story is a little lame and predictable but the humor isn't. and thats what it's all about. And it's hilarious. Mccarthy and Asher make a wonderful team. It's a shame the film didn't receive a larger push from the small audience I saw it with it sounds like it could have made a piece of the wedding crashers dough. But Dirty Love is a gem thats apart from the rest better than wedding crashers and the lame over rated 40 yr. old Virgin here stands the funniest film of the year!!! Rush out and see it!!! ****(out of five)
FLIGHTPLAN Touchstone/Imagine 2005 color Mystery-Thriller 89 minutes Jodie Foster, Pter Sarsgaard and Sean Bean star. Written by Peter A. Dowling and Billy Ray Directed by Robert Schwentke Rated PG-13 for language and violence Jodie Foster stars in the new mystery thriller Panic Room I mean Red Eye oops wait I mean Flight Plan. This safe little foray into overused predicaments has Hollywood stamped all over it. Indeed the film makes for a worthwhile night out at the movies. But doesn't carry much luggage when it comes to a worthwhile script, surprising twists or even convincing performances sorry Ms. Foster. Despite the comfortability of the material the director somehow manages to under direct his own concept and leave his cast looking bewildered in search of a much more exciting film. Foster decently stars as Kyle a young woman whose just lost her husband in a horrible accident. She boards a flight plane with her daughter home that she designed to bury her husband back in the states. They fall asleep, she awakes only to find her daughter missing. She searches the plane and is told that her daughter has died. With impounding streams of mental illness she questions her sanity but still feels that her daughter is not dead. The film's concept is decent but lacks any true effect. It isn't especially suspenseful and not very memorable. The surprise twist is somewhat lame and predictable. While not particularly special the film is far from being bad most of the mediocre acting has to do with the restrained and tightened direction. At a short 89 minutes the film feels a bit too long . Sean Bean is the plane's Capt. and Sean Bean reprises his role from the much better Skeleton Key. Comparisons to this year's wonderful Red Eye are undeniable as well comparisons to Foster's other film Panic Room. Although no where in the same league as Red Eye the film fares slightly better than Panic Room. The thing you have to understand about Flightplan is that this film is a safe flight. it's been tailor made by Hollywood to make money nothing is too vulgar, or surprising or even clever enough to be confusing. The film lacks any real artistry or conviction. Sure it looks good enough and the movie is just good enough but hey being a film maker there is a decision you can make if you want to make a film with meaning or a popcorn flick. Although this is definitely a popcorn flick it's light on the butter. and without the extra fatty contents it's just not enjoyable enough. *** (out of five)
TRANQUIL SOB...a review for Cry Wolf Cry Wolf Columbia/Rogue 2005 Color
92 minutes Horror-Thriller Julian Morris, Lindy Booth, Jared Padalecki,
Jon Bon Jovi, Gary Cole and Jesse Janzen star.
Written by Beau Bauman and Jefferey Wadlow Directed by Jeffrey Wadlow Rated PG-13 for some language, violence and gore Cry Wolf is more like a tranquil sob. The PG-13 rears it's ugly head for good reason in this decent teen horror thriller with a lot of cool ideas and not enough impact. Lindy Booth of Wrong Turn and Dawn of the Dead remake fame stars as Dodger, a young woman whom organizes lying games at her school. Beautiful pretty boy Julian Morris stars as Owen the new transfer at the school. For fun, her and her friends invite the new boy along to play. They decide to create a massive email concerning the murder of a townie that appears at the beginning of the film. They supposedly create a killer with dire circumstances as the prank supposedly becomes real. Everything is questionable in this film and thats for the good. It has some nice little twists and a tight ending. But the film blunts it's impact every step of the way. instead of relishing in it's target genre. And accommodating itself with harsher dialogue, sex appeal and more suspense. It teeters along the way exposing one plot line after another with little to no effect. The movie instead ends up as an interesting homage to better horror films. Although much better than the Urban Legend and it's clones. Cry Wolf does lack gore but thats not it's problem it lacks maturity when dealing with it's storyline and the performances are definitely a cut above field but the initial impact of whats happening and why seems tranquil and effortless. With a little more punch this could've been a kick ass little horror flick. Although advertised as a slasher flick the film has little to do with that genre and lends itself more towards a suspenseful drama with horror touches here and there. Rounding out the pretty cast are stud Jared Padalecki of the wonderful remake House of Wax and hot bad boy Jesse Janzen. Jon Bon Jovi also stars in the film looking bored as a questionable professor. But Booth is the real star here she delivers the film's final twist with pizazz and talent. She needs to look for more of a powerful star vehicle for her self. She was definitely on her way with the excellent underrated Wrong Turn and kick ass remake Dawn of the Dead. she needs to ride the brutal horror wave and gain a following. I'm sure the film will fare better on video and DVD it's a good film but just not very memorable.
***(Out of five)
So wheel in the schmaltz people. Just Like Heaven's tagline reads it'a wonderful afterlife. And indeed it is although not very believable with some huge plot holes and logic lapses this type of film only works if you just let it all go and succumb to it. Although a bit sillier than most, it also manages to pull out more laughs. Courtesy of Mean Girls and Freaky Friday director Mark Waters. He keeps things moving along entertainingly so you don't have a lot of time to question the film's shallow reality. Witherspoon and Ruffalo make a fine screen couple there chemistry is acceptable and each of them does extremely well with their parts. They are the real reason this film works so well they deliver the laughs as well as the tears. Witherspoon stars as Elizabeth Masterson a young doctor on her way up she works 26 hour shifts and has no room for her personal life. One day while driving home she is hit by a truck. Months later Ruffalo moves into her fully furnished apartment ad begins to conversate with her ghost. After convincing her that she's a spirit they go on a yellow brick quest to discover her whereabouts. Along the way they run into a bunch of funny scenarios and characters and you guessed it ultimately end up falling for each other. It's pretty predictable people and there are no real surprises in this film. Especially a big twist which you should get in the first 15 minutes. But it moves along well and features a talented cast and entertaining direction. the cinematography is warm and dreamlike and the soundtrack is full of familiar pop hits to sing along too. So wheel in the schmaltz cause this film is schmaltzy but it's a welcome feeling. Like those silly but memorable 80's-90's movies we all grew up with (Date with an angel, Ghost) this is a lite fluffy classic for loads of dates to enjoy! ****(out of five)
Venom Dimension 2005 color 85 minutes Horror-Thriller Agnes Bruckner, Johnathan Jackson, Laura Ramsey, D.J. Cotrona, Rick Cramer, Megan Good, Bijou Phillips, Method Man, Pawel Szajda and Stacey Travis star. Directed by Jim Gillespee Written by Brandon Boyce and Flint Dille Produced by Kevin Williamson Rated R for strong language, graphic violence and lots of gore Miramax's genre division Dimension has to be the absolute dumbest company. It's true what you've heard Venom is no masterpiece but it's far from being a disaster. It's a decent film with some great scenes and ideas. It would've certainly been a bankable film. Definitely an audience film, filled with Oh my God frantic jolts, sweaty palm inducing suspense and loads of dumb character stereotypes we've all grown to love. Because without them horror movies just wouldn't exist. So dimension finished this film and fast tracked it for a September release instead of taking a bit more time to develop it slightly and marketing it better so people actually know it exists. I mean why even bother making it if your not going to promote it. Well anyways, on to the movie Venom is a fun little thrill ride. The story is a little contrived ringing continuously true out of I know what you did last summer land mixed with the skeleton key and just a dash of Texas Chainsaw. Massacre. As the film begins we are introduced to a bunch of annoying kids all of whom you pretty much want to die except for a few cute guys. There is a town bad ass named Ray whom the kids tease and one night while riding her bike(because she's saving money for med school) home Eden (By far the worst name for a white character or anyone for that matter) has a run in with her ex boyfriend because of college reasons and becomes part of an accident involving a creepy old woman, Ray and a devilish suitcase. A suitcase that holds a group of snakes that hold the souls of the worst of men murderers, rapists, etc. So ray gets bit a lot before drowning and comes back as an uber human killer trying desperately to get to the old womans grand daughter and the group of friends for no particular reason. There's lots of fun stuff thrown in including loud sound effects,sparklingly clear cinematography, unexpected scares and some creative death sequences. All of that makes for a great but not completely memorable time. It's substance in where the film's major problem lies. It doesn't really have any. We don't know the characters and they're all horrible actors reacting wrongly to the situations. There is no real plot development or story buildup so it's hard to care for anyone or even know whats going on. The film also comes equipped with that annoying flashy editing that I hate so much. However the good outweighs the bad and Venom makes for a fun night out at the movies especially with a date. The main villain is haunting, and the cast is full of hot guys adorable Johnathan Jackson from Tuck Everlasting, Sexy D.J. Cotrona from TV's short lived but excellent series Skin. And last but not least Pawel Szajda that hunky young man from Under the Tuscan sun. The girls are less memorable some of them are mildly attractive and Bruckner does badly as the film's heroine but kicks it up a slight notch in the last reel. And about the last reel, this film has a killer last reel. It's quite Brutal filled with edgy, grainy cinematography reminiscent of 70's horror films. So all in all go into Venom with mediocre expectations and expect to be entertained . It's been quite a while since I've seen so many horror films(House of wax, Chainsaw remake, Dawn remake, exorcism of Emily rose, Hellbent, etc.) with such a brutal bite as the ones they've been releasing. It reminds of me of the 80's when I grew up it was a damn fun time! Keep'em coming guys! ***(out of five)
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