Reviews written by registered user
shoddyhorror

3 reviews in total 
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11 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Did I hear someone say.......Carrots?, 15 July 2003

Life. It is a strange merry-go-round. Events and situations can change a man. A near death experience, the birth of your first child, a new found skill. For me, it was this movie. Suffering manic depression from the loss of my job and recent death of my beloved wife, I stumbled into the video store whacked up on Prozac. "Help me!" I said to the confused Video Store Clerk. "Only one thing can help you now" the teenaged Messiah said, as he slipped me a copy of the 1978 Masterpiece "Death Dimension". I liken this movie to having your first beer when your fifteen, cold, refreshing but with an underlying tone of naughtiness, with a bit of pizzazz thrown in. What can I say.... Myron "Bruce" Lee? You are a God. You make Jet Li and Chuck Norris look like a couple of half-baked sissies who couldn't rip wet toilet paper in half. Thank god Christopher Walken shunned the role of Captain Gallagher or our pupils would not have been treated to the precision like pistol whippings of Georgie Laze. Wrapping up this cultural melting pot of actors is the Giant of Afro-American cinema, Jim Kelly. He rips on to the screen like a young Fred Astaire, and dances his way in to our hearts. Not since "Casablanca" has A black-Kung Fu teaching cop, Australian detective and Taiwan-born sidekick so deliciously melded together to form an acute crime-fighting team hell-bent on stopping a Korean obese man from instigating the destruction of the world. Death Dimension? More like `Out of this world' Dimension, this movie deserves to be placed along side other classics such as `Gone with the Wind', `Ben Hur' and `Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol'. Wow, Al Adamson, you've blown us all away again, if you don't stop this soon I'll never get to wash my soiled underpants. 5 thumbs up.

1 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Who ordered an Action Movie with the lot?...I know I did!, 15 July 2003

Can someone please call the cops, because this film just stole my heart. Never before has the screen been so electrified with such a vivacious ensemble cast. It was as if someone had pulled out my eyeballs and poured golden syrup directly into my sockets. During the 1980s, you would have been hard pressed to find a teenage girl's bedroom, without at least a dozen Chris Connelly posters adorning her walls. For good reason too, for here, in his greatest role to date as 'Mike Ross', he comes across as a bronzed God, with the rippling physique of a Gym Instructor, and the devil-may-care charisma of a young Rudolph Valentino.

It is hard to put into writing a description of a script so knicker-twistingly intense. With Russian Submarines, Kidnapping and Road Gangs, it plays like a kind of Mad-Max-meets-Saving-Private-Ryan-meets-Les-Miserables-meets-The-Karate-Kid -Part-4 (You know, the one with the chick).

Tony King plays Ross's partner, Washington. His intensely personal portrayal of an alcoholic kidnapper reduced this hardened critic to tears. I will never look at a Bus full of Post-Apocalyptic Gang members the same ever again.

At the end of the day, this film belongs on any serious film collectors shelf. The perfect film to break out at a Wake, "Raiders of Atlantis" will leave you glued to the set for it's 2 hour running time, and you wont be able to shut up about it afterwards.

1 star.

Stoner (1974)
7 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Stoner, you're one bad cat. Word., 12 July 2003

How does one dare to describe the pure majestic brilliance of this outlandish chunk of cinematic history in just one essay? Holy smokes, I'll give it a shot. Superlative, majestic, confronting, heart renching and above all really good and stuff are just some of the adjectives I will use to describe this emotional rollercoaster of a 35mm brilliance. I was so excited when I first saw Stoner, that I punched my elderly neighbour in the back of the head. Move over Steven, step aside Martin and go home Quentin, Feng Huang is here and he means business. From go to whoa this film packs non stop underpant exploding action that'll have you begging your best mate's auntie for more. Apparently this film was so popular in Amsterdam, that men started shaving off their eyebrows and colouring their armpits with lipstick in a effort to emulate Lazenby's modern-day Hamlet, Detective Stoner. Thank god Jack Palance turned down the role of Stoner or we would not have been treated to such a enigmatic foray into the world of contemporary cinema from The Georgie Lazmeistser. All in do you self a favour, buy yourself some cheetos and a bottle of Distilled Water and treat yourself to a night-in of hard-core provocative entertainment. 3 thumbs up, Cheers George, thanks for the good times. Keep on trucking you crazy cat.