Reviews written by registered user
|4 reviews in total|
Is this movie a great piece of cinematic art? Hell no. Then again, it's
not meant to be. It's meant to be a bit of eye-candy. It's meant to be
a couple hours of disengaging your brain and entertaining yourself.
Like most of the rest of the franchise, it succeeds at that.
The action is solid. The acting is sufficient. The effects are good without being overdone or too-obviously CGI. Yeah, the settings and the monsters were probably a bit of a rehash from Pitch Black, but that's not a bad thing: Pitch Black was another solid, "knows what it is" action movie.
While not a great piece of cinematic art, I definitely didn't feel like I'd wasted money having seen it at the theatre and in IMAX.
When our houseguest told me that this movie had scored a 3.4, I figured
that he meant on a ten-point scale. Having sat through this PoS, I have
to assume he was looking at a site that was using a 100-point scale.
Usually, when I see movies like this, I figure I'm gonna be watching a "so awful it's good" type of movie. No. This movie was merely awful.
While it did have the plus side of having lots of gratuitous nudity, I don't think even a fapping 13yo. boy would have been all that interested in it. Low rent.
With "Big Guns" in the title, I'd assumed that it would be a relatively fast-paced shoot-em-up. Not so much. To say that it was "deliberately paced" would be charitable. Even to say that it was "plodding" would be rather charitable. Now, it might have been the results of a heavy meal, beforehand, but this "action" movie damned near put us all to sleep. The only real action came in the last five minutes of the movie. It wasn't enough and it wasn't all that compelling.
This movie was bad, but not in the good way. It truly suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.
All the promotional material for the movie gives the impression that
it's going to be a comedy. It gives the impression that it's going to
be a female buddy movie in a similar vein to The Bachelor Party.
Instead, it's 115 minutes of unfunny, hatefully mean-spirited garbage
with, what little comedy is to be found in the movie, 15 minutes at the
end that tries to make you forget how awful the prior part of the movie
The only redeeming feature of the experience of seeing this movie was that I didn't spend $25 on tickets to see it at the local googolplex. Instead, I only paid 480 Microsoft points. I still feel kind of butt-raped for having spent those points, though.
I was shocked. A movie that was actually far better than I was expecting.
Great acting. Awesome (subtle) effects. Great pacing. Good
Shoulda known just from the scene where Depp "sailed" into town.