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Iron Fist (2017)
We need to discuss this perceived white male victim-hood
Do the people you call SJW's complain when an Asian character is played by a white actor, ABSOLUTELY! Do white people complain when a white character is played by a black actor, ABSOLUTELY! Have we all forgotten the black storm trooper, or black Johnny Blaze so soon? What's strange about this particular perceived slight is that the character in question is white, and so is the actor... What am I missing here? A reviewer actually claimed that this series was panned on Rotten Tomatoes, because the directors cast a white actor to play a white character, and then the reviewer went on a mind boggling diatribe about "anti-white liberals". Now, normally I'd just skip right on past that as if were a street pastor shouting, " The End Is Nigh" at every passerby. However, it's an extremely popular review. Which brings me here, writing a review for a series that I haven't seen, and now have a bad taste in my mouth about. So, to the numb-skull who wrote that review, and everyone who reads it thinking, "This guy gets it" I have to ask, do you have ANY idea of how f*cking dumb that sounds? Iron Man, Deadpool, Wolverine, Batman, Superman, Thor, Star Lord, and the list just. keeps. on. going. Deadpool is a white character, played by a white actor, and it's Certified Fresh. Why? Because it's a good movie! Maybe.. bear with me now, but just maybe Iron Fist is a steaming pile of sh*t. Maybe it sucks. Maybe a negative rating for a show about a white character played by a white actor has absolutely nothing to do with race.
White people, I say this as a friend, stop it. All that forgotten man sh*t, all that white genocide sh*t, all that "diversity is a code word for anti-white" sh*t needs to stop NOW. First off, you look ridiculous. Second, this is a push pull relationship, and all you're going to wind up doing is inflaming the dormant passions in every minority who's kept his or her head down for years, while taking your black jokes, or your Mexican jokes, or your Asian jokes, and your non-stop apologetics, and internalizing that sh*t. And what you will reap is a radical activism that will make your average SJW look like Andrew Dice Clay with his d*ck out. So, stop it. You are not a persecuted people. You are not being oppressed by diversity.
After Earth (2013)
Don't fall for it!
I just read a review saying that Will Smith didn't show enough emotion, and that the movie wasn't funny enough.....WHAT TRAILER WERE YOU WATCHING! Will plays the prime commander who's rise to fame was entirely based off of his ability to bypass the emotion of fear! How did you think he was gonna act? Did you expect Carlton to pop on screen, doing his shuffle around Will and Jaden crying on the bathroom floor of a spaceship? People who don't like this movie either can't look past Jaden growing up rich, refuse to believe that more than just one member of a family is capable of being talented, or are on a bandwagon on it's way to the parade. Think I'm wrong? Read the reviews, then watch the movie! The last review I read said, "I want my 3 hours back!". Yea, OK. Now check the running time.....It's not even 2 hours! After earth has smooth pacing, a clear storyline, a good plot, good FX, and good acting! I have never in my life been so opposed to what the common consensus on a movie was. I am 100% sure that this movie was the target of a smear campaign. Do not fall for it! If you ever wanted to watch this movie, go and watch it. Do not be despaired. It's good, through and through.
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Samsara is like National Geographic on pain pills, set to a mind numbing Enya loop. Nothing more than a picture book. No words, or thoughts expressed, no order, or point whatsoever. Spoiler Alert! An African woman mean mugs a camera for 2 minutes! A white guy in a suit and tie rubs clay on his face, and plays with permanent markers! Fascinating!..that it took five years to piece together a bunch of RANDOM eye catching images. In the last 20 minutes, this is whats crossed my screen. Pigs, cows, and chickens being processed, a fat guy gets a line drawn on his belly, a room full of inanimate sex dolls, strippers (not stripping BTW) and more sex dolls. Figure that out! Mostly what you get out of this is "look at these weird people". Other than that the only message you could take from this ass of a movie is purely cynical. If you really enjoy judging people by their appearances, this is the movie for you! GAHBITCH!
Rang De Basanti (2006)
3 and a half hours of, "When does this get good?"
This movie is like watching a 20 round boxing match expecting to see an epic knockout, only to see two dancing queens prancing around the ring when finally in the 15th round you get a knockdown. You get all excited, finally something, this must be where it gets good. Only to watch em Pasa Doble into to the 20th round. No'one else mentions this, as if they didn't notice, but this movie is over three hours long. I promise you, you WILL spend well over the first half of that wondering why all the rave. The best part about this movie is the hilariously ridiculous "western" music they dance to. After watching this movie I felt incredibly far removed from Indian culture. One of the main characters wears jean jackets, and fingerless gloves! Think Fonzie, but less cool, and not a caricature. Indians, direct people away from this movie, cause I seriously felt embarrassed for you as I watched it.
This movie is not for everyone. I understand some people will watch this Hitchcockian masterpiece, and walk away perplexed. As is the case with any work of art. This film will take you on a journey through an unimaginable, inexplicable, but fantastic life of a tire that goes by the name of Robert. This film is a tribute to classics like ... like ...I don't know, I was just joking anyway. This movie is TERRIBLE. If you could say it's about anything, it's about an "ANIMATE" tire, not an inanimate one as is described in the summary, but no reason to be a douche about it. It shakes, and rattles, and makes things blow up. And on top of that there's nothing on top of that. Personally, I can watch anything. I make watching bad movies my biznass. So I know bad movies. This movie falls into the category of, "Directors who want to see how long it will take before you walk out the theater in disgust." I need to work on my category titles but you get the idea.
Anyway, in this movie you're accompanied by a group of observers. There each handed a pair of binoculars so they can watch as the events unfold from a distance. They become the equivalent of some random jackass talking throughout a movie. As the observers observe even they get bored, and actually fall asleep while watching the same thing that your watching. That's when I knew the writers, and director of this film were laughing at my expense.
Now it's time for my mandatory negative review smart ass metaphor. If you want to experience this film, save your self the time, and money. Go find a spare tire, roll it down a hill, and then shoot yourself in the face.