Reviews written by registered user
alshwenbear1

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76 reviews in total 
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Colossal (2016)
3 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Why "Colossal" is one of the best movies I have watched in weeks? Heck, it should be..., 30 April 2017
8/10

Heck, it should be one of the best movies of the year!!! My reviews, tend to be a little vague , so people that take my recommendation, walks into the film knowing the less, but on the things to tell: this is a movie I wish I could have watched with a pretty woman and listen to her thoughts and emotions after a nice cup of coffee, a slice of pizza or ice cream. But I thought "Giant monsters and Robots even my daughter is kind of turned off about it." Me? As a big fan of Kaiju (giant monsters defined as strange beasts - my favorite: Godzilla), I have to say, this is not your average Japanese rendition of mayhem, or the bs, of "Pacific Rim" (2013), and regardless of cheering up for Del Toro (We both were born "Mexicanos"), it happens, that Nacho Vigalondo from Spain, beat Guillermo to the punch! "Time Crimes" (2007), also written and directed by Vigalondo wasn't all of what I expected, as "confusing time travel movies" I so much prefer the highly unknown "Primer" (2004). So I prepared myself for a possible disappointment while thinking "the ending is going to be with kisses and hugs, and tears and joy , yeah, yeah,... another love story." Seriously, I believed that "Oscar" (Jason Sudeikis) was just trying to teach "Gloria" (Anne Hathaway) a visual, hard tough lesson about life, and above all what alcohol was doing to her, so he could held her in his arms and up close and say: "I am sorry Gloria all I did was for our own good, because I Love you" .

Most movies will cheer up (or not) anyone's evening, unless they are watching something like "Leaving las Vegas" (1995), or remind you of personal struggle with addictions, yes I applaud the effort of reminding the audience about excessive drinking in a less serious way.

Definitely, there is something twistily funny, to the crappy lives of each and every one of the characters, making the story a little "sad" if you think too much into it. Above all, their broken relationships even with friends, as it shows in the scene where "Garth" (Tim Blake Nelson) walks out of the bar...still the actors and writers don't give you the space for mopping.

"Colossal" has some flaws, the CGI could have been better, but the people in charge did the right choice, getting the heavy weight on the story and the acting. And is one of those movies I long for, where I went wrong on guessing and predicting what was about to happen next, most of the time.

After this, Anne Hathaway is convincing me that she can be a real actress.

Final thoughts.

Regardless of being brain washed on the premise that Hollywood movies must have happy endings (and being a man), still, I am some kind of romantic and for a moment I wanted that "Joel" and "Gloria" ending up together as benefit of both, no spoiler here! because for the first time in my life I walked out as soon as the screen went black and credits were about to roll (I needed to rush to a different place) truth to be told, the cynic in me prefers the bitter -sweet ending!.

* I just remembered the opposite to "Colossal" that is: "Blood Trap" (2015) a trapping fortress and baby vampires? good premise in every way, worst visuals and epic failure! *

But "Colossal" I will watch again as a "valued entertainment" and definitely I hope for a sequel.

P.S The rating should be better than Pacific Rim, better story, while having less CGI and "Monster/robots"

19 out of 38 people found the following review useful:
To the whinny naysayers, 19 April 2017
7/10

Don't care about what the bad critics say about this Russian movie, because such reviewers are, mostly, from countries that haven't even tried to do what the people involved in "The Guardians" did, and that is go toe to toe against Hollywood on a shoestring budget! Or... they are being so dumbfounded by porn-explosions-parades and recognizable names, that they have no idea how sci-fi and super heroes movies start - and if you say "The Colossal Man" "Forbidden Planet" "Ultraman" "Santo, El Enmascarado de Plata" "Dr. Mabuse" etc. etc... those that failed to recognize the value and effort of "the Guardians" foolishly will stare into space... and if I say "Shane" their only clue will be "Logan." Yes, the movie has a few flaws, but it's mostly its simplicity, that will appeal to a cinephile like me or others, yes is the Russian X-Men but it is well done, and skips to the best possible introduction, and they are amateur superheroes easily hurt particularly while being naive and overconfident, I could go on and on about this movie, but sorry, I have to go and watch it without subtitles now!

Sleepless (2017/III)
22 out of 35 people found the following review useful:
Ah, movies that make me laugh so hard!, 4 April 2017
4/10

This is I what I call "a comedy of errors" Ridiculous, hilarious effort from Hollywood on a remake of "Nuit Blanche" (Sleepless Night), (2011). The original was truthful to its name. but this? if it hasn't been so loud I would have caught a nap.

What can I say? predictable, terrible directing acting, editing, and so on and so forth.

Repetitive but definitely not boring, because it is more of comedy than an action thriller,... what? anyone here was acting, my bad I thought they were joking!

"Saddest part"Jamie Foxx will never catch up with Denzel Washington!

Scintilla (2014)
37 out of 49 people found the following review useful:
Finally, a movie that goes beyond zombies, car chases, and simplistic plots., 21 February 2015
6/10

Watching this film, brings back memories of movies like The Wild Geese (1978), Alien (1979), Scanners (1981), all of them building up slowly, and precise to get to the point of the story, diversifying without giving more than the necessary, leaving behind characters, to bring them up later, when absolutely necessary, twisting the plot to the convenience of the viewer.

And all of this to my satisfaction: to shut the mouth of a a dumb guy who posted on youtube "Leave movie making to America, please."

I just watched "The Hybrid" and even when it falls a little short on what it could be your expectations, its worth of your time, its in part, like those old 70's flicks, with the real craving for the popcorn, while you lean towards the screen for the next twist of the story, and as "The Terminator" (1984) became an "original" concept, I wouldn't discard "The Hybrid" for a sequel or a Hollywood remake, because it has the proper elements for it.

And is worth to mention of the detail, the producers managed in some of the scenes, I won't spoiled much for anyone, just be observant for heads on plastic bags and skull mask.

Definitively, I will recommend this to those who can make a difference between "Transformers" and a good, "Low budget" science fiction movie!

14 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
Plain and simple: You must believe in Santa Claus to like this piece of trash!, 8 December 2014
1/10

1. You must live outside of civilization to like this movie.

2. You must be a true redneck to like this awfulness.

3. You must have seen Santa Claus in an episode of "Sons of Anarchy" "My Brother" LOL!!!

4. You must love the worst of acting and direction with your popcorn.

5. You must like garble sounds as pathetic soundtrack.

6. You must like to be on an open space with snow, and walk like an ape

7. You must write a fake review and try to pass it as legit.

8. You must snore and slap yourself to be awake all the way to the first half hour.

9. You must own an 8mm handy cam

10. You must be an idiot to like this piece of trash!

How easy to get ten lines, I just need to repeat "You must" as the "actors" and "director" repeat the awful patterns of dumbness for this movie.

8 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
A beautiful, moving, unpredictable picture!, 15 November 2014
6/10

I am big into movies and I love foreign movies and before "Imagine I'm Beautiful" I watched a movie from Argentina, where the central character goes psycho, murderous and complete bananas, and as much as I preach into loving foreign movies,that one was a completed disappointment.

But why I am talking about that when "Imagine I'm beautiful" is centered in New York?

Well both movies go into the human psych, fears, anguishes, and while one gets bloody and weird, the one I am reviewing left me wanting more and thinking for several minutes after the final credit faded away...

What if instead of imposing our fears and despairs unto others, we do the best to change their lives and awkwardly try to make them happy?

Would the world turn for the worse?, no I don't think so, we would be just a bunch of "cuckoos" prancing smiles around and refusing to settle down with reality, bitterness and else.

I don't know if this movie will appeal to everyone but I'd really like to gather some friends around and make this movie the subject of analysis. I identified with this movie because people who know me cannot comprehend why I always smile at the world, even though when implies a little sacrifice of the soul.

As I said before this movie will appeal to those who see the world and the rest of the people in more colors than black and white.

To the producers and actors and everyone involved in the making of this movie: thank you for this soul searching statement about the elusiveness of happiness.

12 out of 30 people found the following review useful:
Wow! One out of so many!, 14 November 2014
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

How hard is to find a good, good movie?

Before the ending my thoughts revolved about one thing: how to review this little gem?

Last time an actress impressed me so much was in (1980), when Gina Rowlands played the central character in "Gloria", never the less both characters are alike and so different at the same time! Cathy Holmes deserve recognition for being sweet and though,kind and "mean" lovingly and heartless.

Certainly do not expect "Death Wish" there's no Charles Bronson in here...just a very feminine vigilante, that I just wished that would have walk towards the sunset and be happy...

I think I got my ten lines so, I just have to say: This is a movie that won't disappoint!

Any chance for a prequel?

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
The final twenty minutes I would call it: E-She phone home and she really messed up!, 24 October 2014
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Blend X-files with everything else! What do you get?, nothing worth of your time or mine, in other words if you have watched, "E.T", "Close Encounters", "Fire in the Sky", even "Independence Day", "Friday the 13th","Jurasic Park", "Scanners", "Alien", "Poltergeist", "Nightmare on Elm Street", "The terminator" and so on, then you are familiar with every cliché and formula in the book, so do yourself a favor, just move along because there is nothing to see here! This would have been a great short film instead of a long feature film.

The final twenty minutes I would call it: E-She phone home and she really messed up! And here goes the "Spoiler": They probably got killed because in the eyes of the soldiers they looked like aliens.

7 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Why did I torture myself? This movie really scared me!, 24 October 2014
7/10

No there's no ghosts, zombies, or insane serial killers, but something worse than all of that combined; a chemical spill going airborne! Burning your skin, making you gasp for air, driving you mad and insane with panic, fear, terror.

Through the whole movie I wondered: why I am torturing myself, but I couldn't walk away, now I am seriously considering a gas mask and protective gear! The acting is not the best, but who cares, the story and unfolding drama is so compelling, that it makes this movie more than a horror film, a fair warning for all.

As a young man, not far from where I used to live, a terrible explosion burned people, houses, cars,and no movie before made me feel back to that horrible event. and I shiver thinking what if instead of gas, it had been a mix of lethal chemicals traveling fast for miles and miles?

And that is the reason "Chemical Peel" is a movie to watch if you want to scare yourself, this upcoming Halloween,after that you won't need a ghost story!

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Colombia made a hell of a good movie!, 24 October 2014
7/10

A few hours ago, I was talking with two female acquaintances about violence in movies, and how difficult it is for them to cope with this issue.

Truthfully, after watching this film, I felt some of the emotions and feelings they described,why? the violence in "Dog Eat Dog" is intense but I am not talking about the physical violence, I am not talking about the blood and gore, but the mental and psychological turbulence that the characters have to endure, and with them, us the viewers. It is like watching Reservoir Dogs for the first time, but darker,with elements of black magic, that can be understand by the Latin culture, in a different way than Hollywood standards.

Because of the atmosphere created in this mentally- violent story, I felt proud of understanding two languages,because even though I am not from Colombia, I was able to sync with the angst and desperation of these bad guys, even though I found them despicable, all of them! each in a different way. And still I found myself wishing for the bad guy, (as I did for Bruce Willis in "Pulp Fiction") to find his way out of the mud.

I did not find comedy in this movie, "Sierra" is not funny in any way, he is just the classic bully, sarcastic and brutal with a smile on his face. As a crime story it fills with meanness, nastiness and despair, and unlike "Bummer" (2003) , there is no, loyalty or camaraderie, or honor, it is a cold world where money means everything to the extent of chopping another human being into pieces.

I found it even "Hitchcock style" building up, getting into your nerves and making you feel the heat of their city, and like in 'The Plague Dogs" (1982), you feel like all hope should be abandoned and discarded.

As I have said in my reviews, I have seen it all and hardly get impressed by a movie, unless it's one of those rare gems as "Cold Blooded" (2012) or this time "Perro come perro".

I really recommend this one, but if you are not really into movies as a form of art, better stick yourself to "Transformers" or "I Frankenstein'" or "Sin City" because they are easy to digest and comprehend, I said this because I think you may be really unhappy not catching up about who was "Adela", that is easily identified in the movie "...vos como te llamas?" The rest is to put two and two together.


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