Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
Wasn't all the hype I remember it having
I finally saw this film tonight. I have been meaning to watch it since it came out but it always disappeared into the back of my head only to resurface now and then. After seeing it, all I can say is it wasn't the hype I remember it having. When it first came back in the spring of 2005, I remember seeing all the TV spots and trailer online that made it the biggest movie event of the year (which it wasn't because "Revenge of the Sith" and "The Goblet of Fire" took those titles). And I'm glad i didn't waste any money seeing this. First off I have never read the book or seen the TV series so this is from some one completely unfamiliar with Douglas Adam. The premise of the film is a good one. It starts off with an average Joe known as Arthur Dent whom his house is being demolished and soon finds out the whole planet will be as well. Earth gets destroyed and Arthur and his friend Ford find their way to a ship being driven by the king of the Galaxy along with Arthur's former interest, as well as the mega depressed Robot, Marvin. From there on they go about on a adventure that wasn't really specified to begin with, in fact changed from one scene to another. There was one scene where the king leaves his second head with a rival but then never gets mentioned for the rest of the film. The humor was good here and there, nothing over the top in most comedies these days, but nothing really special or memorable. The villains didn't seem as menacing and were hard to be taken seriously. I was actually confused what they wanted or why they were chasing the main characters. The ending of the film left me with a dry feeling. I did not get why or how and I wasn't even sure the movie ended until the credits started appearing. A lot of things weren't explained and left out, which made it really hard for me to enjoy the film. Like I said I haven't read the book or watched the series but I can see why a lot of those that did were very disappointed by this movie. The characters were not the memorable type especially the King character whom I immediately disliked when I first saw him. Marvin although intended to be some sort of comic relief was not at all relevant to the plot, or whatever was the plot. As beautiful the effects were (they always are), the confusing plot and unremarkable characters drag this film down.
I do not give a rat's behind if this is a kids' show, it is still a piece of garbage.
Once upon a time, the Disney Channel used to air programs that were actually watchable and even some of the best shows of any kids network. Shows Like "Even Stevens" and "That's So Raven" were big hits and made anyone's day. Boys and girls both watched these shows because they related to a lot of people, even adults. Then one day, that era came to a sudden end when a show about two annoying brothers, played by the most untalented twins since Marie Kate and Ashley, who live in a hotel. since then, the Disney Channel has become a black hole that sucks out any good show and only leaves the bad ones to air. I seriously do not see what people see in this show. I go to the message board and most of the posters are people in their late teens and early twenties (or so they claim) and they talk all day about how they like this show. Anyone who criticizes the show and a whole crap storm erupts. Not that I care what a bunch of overly sensitive fan babies say, but it goes to show what type of people are into this garbage. The show revolves around two boys, Zack and Cody, who live with their divorced mother in a hotel (yes this is the premise of the show), owned by some character not seen on screen whose daughter, London is a super spoiled senseless, moronic piece of human skin. I truly believe this character was just created to annoy the hell out of people. Also on the cast is a counter girl, Maddie (played by the not so talented red head turned blonde Ashley Tisdale) whom one of the boys has a crush on (you know, a kids show!). There is also Esteban, a insultingly stereotypical Mexican immigrant who works as the hotel's delivery boy. Then their is Moseby, a British black guy who is annoyed by everyone in the show, especially the boys (Can't blame him). Each episode involves the boys and the girls getting involved in some scheme that goes horribly wrong and they have to fix it which they usually don't and get into trouble anyway (Gee, that sounds like Kenan and Kel, except that show was... Good). The low point of this show is Zach and Cody's one dimensional characters and the flat performance the actors put into those characters. Anything remotely funny is crush by their dry dialog and wooden acting. Then there is London, whom represents all that is now vile of the Disney Channel. How people are not lining up to strangle this girl is a mystery. The rest of the cast are more tolerable but no less entertaining. In fact the only characters worth any redeemable quality is Moseby, because to me he seems to be the one who is aware of the insanity that is "The suite Life of Zack and Cody." And Maddie seems to have everything good in her life sucked out by the demonic entities that are Zack, Cody, and London. The show teaches no real morals and is really not relating to the viewers. In fact, this show is devoid of any human sensitivity. One episode I recall is the Christmas special where the twins think this will be the year their parents reunite but the lovely Mother says no, sucking the holiday spirit from the show like a black hole. From that day on, I avoided this show like the plague. Fortunately this show ended after three seasons, but only to continue in a spin off, where everything in that show is the same except it takes place on a boat. No, I'm not joking about that, I wish I was.
The Cleveland Show (2009)
Garbage, just garbage
I really did not like this show from the start. The pilot was not interesting and the several episodes after that were just bad. I hated each of the characters the more I got to know them. If you want to get down to it, it is really just family guy with twice the unfunny jokes, twice the long flashbacks, and twice the unoriginality. At least Family Guy in its first few seasons managed to make something out of itself before taking the deep nose dive after season 4. The Cleveland show has zero. I have stated in a review for family guy how much I actually despise Seth Macfarlene, the show's creator. What Justin Bieber is to music Seth Macfarlene is to animation. Let me make myself clear, I appreciated him working on cartoons I grew up with in the 1990s such as Dexter's Lab, Johnny Bravo, and Cow and Chicken when he was with Hanna- Barbera. But ever since family Guy, the guy has proved nothing to be a class A jerk. With that being said, it is not surprising that he would be the one to come up with this travesty we call the Cleveland show. The show like its predecessor uses very much the same blue print as the Simpsons. A family of five with the father being the abnormal one, the wife being the nice lady putting up with her husbands antics, a whiny daughter, mischievous/troubled son, and young child/baby. And Just like the Simpsons, the family lives in a town full of strange people and father goes to a bar attended by his strange friends. in other words, this show is as unoriginal as family guy, if not more. The characters are not likable and to me have very little redeeming quality, especially the main character. What else do you expect, he was the least funniest character in family guy, what made the producers think he as going to be funny is a mystery to me. The son is annoying and displays a pathetic personality. The daughter is nothing but a stereotype of a modern day black teenage girl indulged into the mainstream, and the younger brother is my personal last likable character, is really Stewie Griffin painted black. The rest of the cast are stupid, uninteresting, and annoying characters. The plot lines of each episodes re no different than that of Family Guy except more fart jokes and gags. The most disgusting the Thanksgiving episode which put the final nail in the coffin for me. There is really nothing else to talk about this show other than it is bad, bad, and oh yeah, bad.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
The reason why I don't like Tim Burton anymore
Before seeing this film, I was a fan of Tim Burton's famous work such as Beetle juice, Batman, Edward Scissor hands, and Mars Attacks! When I learned that this move was directed by him (I didn't see the film until 3 years after it came out), I was dying to see it. I had watched the 1968 original and was familiar with the original novel. After seeing it, in all honesty it was the biggest waste of garbage I had ever seen. Oh sure the make up and special effects were good, they always are, that's why they spend so much time working on that stuff rather than writing a good plot or developing characters. The dialogue was cheap and the acting was more wood than a redwood tree! Mark Wahlburg's acting was so out of place for this film, throughout the entire film, he really shows no emotion and when he does it's only for a split second. I wasn't expecting something like that of Charleston Heston's epic role in the original (heck his role in this film was only minor yet beats the crap out of the rest of the cast), but I'd at least expect some effort to be put in it. All the characters really just filled out the stereotypical roles seen in the real world today from the war mongering general, the peaceful animal loving hippie, the rebellious doubtful sergeant, the ignorant leaders, the royal waitress, and the bumbling idiots the humans. The plot was as straight forward as a derailed train. Everything was just hoping around and far fetched even for a movie like this. It is basically this, guy lands on planet, gets caged, frees a bunch of prisoners, goes through a chase in the desert, rounds up prisoners, rebels, uses rocket buried in the sand for centuries to blast away charging army. Than monkey comes from the sky and everyone is best friends with each other. h yeah, Apes can not swim, because... well that's never explained. And the end was the worst attempt at a twist I have ever seen. And it's bad when the director in the commentary couldn't even make heads or tails out of it. I was relieved when the end credits came. That was the last Tim Burton film I have seen and since seeing this utter failure I avoid all his films, even the ones I liked before. If you don't want to take my word for it, fine, but don't blame me for wasting your time with this sad excuse for a movie.
The Master of Disguise (2002)
Liked it as a kid, as an adult...
Despite what many critics say about it, I don't think this film was THAT bad, but still. Watching it in the theater with my cousin and little brother at the time, all everyone did was laugh. At school, me and my friends used to repeat the jokes and gags we remembered. In my eleven year old mind at the time, I actually thought we were laughing at the funny scenes. It was literally one of the funniest movies I watched. However, watching it again seven years later as a college freshman, I realized everyone, especially the adults were laughing at the over done gags, poor acting, and really childish style the film was made. Really the previews and TV spots showed all the funny parts and the rest of the film was just as bad as a straight to DVD Disney sequel. There were some scenes in there that I thought was to over the top like changing into a new costume in a matter of seconds even more annoying than the last. Jokes at the start of the film I realized on the second time watching it, were recycled through out the entire film like the villain's constant farts after his maniacal laughs. I didn't even laugh once like my eleven year old self almost died of in the theater. I really was surprised to read that Rotten Tomatoes rated this in the 100 worst movies of the decade, but I guess a lot can change in seven years regarding as to what some sees as funny and over the top. I would say don't even bother renting it, but I see no need because it's nowhere to be found.