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Torque (2004)
1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Only thing worse than a bad movie is a bad movie with an inflated opinion of itself., 7 February 2005

"Torque" repeatedly mocks "The Fast And The Furious", apparently believing itself to be the vastly superior movie. "Torque" only wishes it could even measure up to that film's highly mediocre sequel, "2 Fast 2 Furious". It doesn't have the spark, wit, or heart of even that pale imitation of "Fast and the Furious".

Had one taken the exact script to "Torque" and shot it with tongue placed in cheek, it would have been a hilarious parody of overblown and over-serious summer action flicks. As it is, they shot this movie with utter seriousness, with such utter conviction that it was an amazing film, that it's still pretty funny... you're just laughing at, not with. It becomes even funnier when, after spending the film mocking "car movies", they wind up including a Nascar-style racer in one of the climactic chase scenes... which looks more like some sort of stunt show clip montage rather than a single chase and scene.

The movie seems to take quite a bit from a video game called "Road Rash", right down to the style of bikers, scenes on bikes of riding along trying to punch each other off. Sadly, the game was much more entertaining than this. The movie rips off other movies and several video games very heavily, and is generally not subtle about doing so. It never bothers giving an explanation for just how these biker toughs gained martial arts skills... perhaps they came free with purchase of their bikes.

It's hard to imagine a movie which rides so heavily on its explosions, stunts, and wiggling female flesh as being so full of itself, but "Torque" accomplishes that. It gets a rating of three only for a few clever lines, and the fact that I am indeed enough of a sap to give it an extra point for all the really neat-looking motorcycles.

44 out of 72 people found the following review useful:
So funny it almost destroyed my laptop. Seriously., 27 October 2004

This show made me laugh so hard that I was very much in danger of accidentally dropping my laptop off of my laps and onto the floor. It expertly parodies not only reality shows, but all the various genres from which the characters are drawn. Toots is not only a parody of Betty Boop, but a parody of stereotypical goth chicks, complete with massive attention-whoring and self-mutilation in search of that attention. Then, we've got the big stupid superhero guy, who is quite possibly a close relative of Captain Zap Brannigan from Futurama. The Disney-style princess is so absolutely spot-on that you'd swear she sprung directly from the House of Mouse, albeit becoming rather twisted in the process. Her relationship with the smack-talking "Hot Chick" (a spin on a Josie and the Pussycats character, for sure) revolves through hostile and EXTREMELY affectionate by turns. Never before was there a Disneyesque musical number done about a lesbian kiss, and one can only hope there will be many more in this show's future. And Ling-Ling... ah, what can be said about Ling-Ling, the Pokemon takeoff? Other than the fact that she may very well be one of the greatest characters ever conceived of in the history of television, that is all.