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The Cat in the Hat (2003)
The Cat in the Hat had a rocky start. The book, I mean. It was a book before it was a movie and Dr. Seuss wasn't sure he wanted to write it.
Fight Club was too. The Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings, To Kill a Mockingbird. They were books first and movies later, not because their authors had died and the exclusive merchandising rights had expired, but because they needed to be made.
You know where I'm going with this. The movie was a waste. Alec Baldwin? Indefensively tepid dialog? A bland, nasty feeling for the full 2 hours? Where are the artful Seussian stabs at politics and morality? Where's the little kid wonder? What were they thinking?
The movie isn't just bad, it's evil. It's Hollywood wringing the tit of a masterful book, turning a man's life into a carefully orchestrated, posthumous attempt to remove money from wallets. And what's worse is it didn't even work. Look at the scores, for pete's sake. This is a movie that didn't need to exist, shouldn't have been promoted and deserves nothing but scorn. F+