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Utterly ridiculous, yet ridiculously badass?
Yea, pretty much.
I saw this thing at the midnight screening in IMAX. This turdfairy would have been a bore in a regular or even LIEMAX (google it) theater. Thing is, I didn't see it in a regular theater. That being said, this movie was EASILY the biggest "Holy F.uck" movie I've seen spectacle wise, in life, for one simple reason. The IMAX filmed scenes. After the first one hit (IMAX scene), I was like, "Ya know, as terrible as this movie is, these parts are undeniably incredible". To myself of course. I didn't actually say that out loud or anything.
Advice? Pony up the extra cash and see it in a REAL IMAX theater. It's the only way that this movie works. You'll find yourself enduring all of the other fever induced lunacy for those scenes. They really were that awesome. At least awesome enough to talk about the next day.
Tomorrow I'll probably denying having paid $17 (Jesus Christ) to have seen it.
Sky Captain and the World of Indiana
Sky Captain and the World of Indiana. by you Going to make this short. I've had a complete reversal in my thought process.
Initial thought process.. All bad reviews weren't written by Indy fans. They're critics that just don't "get" the franchise. Positive reviewers are the true fans.
Current thought process. Exact inverse of the former.
If you combined every negative element people have touched on in all the reviews on this site and on the net, it would only begin to describe what's wrong with this movie. There are so many intangibles that you just either get or you do not.
This is the closest I can come to describing how this movie makes me feel. And it actually pains me to think there's a billionth of a percent chance that George Spielberg could read this and think this is simply based on laughable things such as "fondness of a series" rather than anything "based in reality". I actually love everything Indy related that came out between the time of Raiders and up until the most recent Indy video game. All of it. The Disneyland ride. The MGM stunt show. The young Indy series. All of it.
Indiana Jones 4? Here goes.
This movie is cartoon porn.
Cartoon porn. If you type in the search terms "Marge Simpson porn", you'll more than likely come up with some strange hits. Some will show a perfectly drawn Simpson's setting, with a perfectly drawn Simpsons character, doing something extremely uncomfortable to look at. It's.. Just.. Not.. Right.
KOTCS is this verbatim. It's an SNL sketch with a $185M budget. Harrison Ford is wearing Indiana Jones' clothes, however, Indiana Jones does not make an appearance throughout the entire movie. Not one. Neither does Marion Ravenwood. Henry Jones Sr. and Markus Brody do though. In still photos. Their essence is untarnished because they're stills from a better time.
Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is cartoon porn. Except in this cartoon the animation is terrible. The tone of the movie has nothing in common with the first three. Not even Young Indy. It's CSI Miami except with more CGI and awkward dialog.
It's a crime against humanity to use the phrase "At least it's better than Temple". Fans of the franchise don't dislike Temple. Fans of Raiders that tolerate Last Crusade do. I am a fan of the franchise. This film is not a part of it.
The good news is that it's so bad, it's completely easy for me to write it off as never happening, or view it as an extremely high budget parody with two hour cameos and great looking leather jackets.