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callanvass

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2529 reviews in total 
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Dan and Serena are the best, 10 March 2015
10/10

Blair is planning her annual sleepover, where decadence and chaos usually ensue. Blair wants Serena to attend, but Blair refuses to hurt Dan by breaking their date plans. Blair decides to take advantage of Jenny by inviting her to the sleepover. Blair puts Jenny through the ringer, making her pass many tests. Meanwhile, Serena is a bit apprehensive when she doesn't get any hints about Dan's date plans. Dan has elaborate plan to impress Serena. Unfortunately for Dan, it backfires big time, leaving Serena a tad deflated. When Dan promises to show Serena the real him, she is overjoyed, and they have a great time. The date begins to unravel when Serena finds out that Blair and Jenny have helped Eric escape from the treatment center. Last but not least, things begin to heat up between Lily and Rufus.

This is my favorite episode of season one since the first one. I'm a guy, but I'm very romantic. Every time Serena and Dan are together, I can't help but smile like an idiot. They are perfect together. I've said it before in my reviews, but there is a lot of Dan in me. I'm easily able to empathize with his situation. Blake Lively continues to make me fall more in love with her. Serena is a woman I would do anything to date. She's posh, but likes the simple things in life. She is the definition of perfection. The date shenanigans are very interesting. It proves that if you be yourself, good things will happen. Watching Dan's reactions when the first part of the date bombed was uncomfortable to watch, mainly because of what I was imagining. Serena showed so much class by wanting to see the real Dan. I wasn't all that into her at first, but Taylor Momsen is really beginning to impress me as Jenny. She is a huge part of this episode. Watching her confidence grow is very engrossing to watch. The stunt she pulls at the end had me clapping by how gutsy and clever it was. Leighton Meester continues to be the most unsympathetic character by far. Blair is gorgeous and never boring, but I can't warm up to her. She is unbelievably shallow and selfish. Rufus and Lilly are really becoming adorable as well. It was nice to see them get some time. I'm even starting to like Lily. There was no Chuck or Nate, and I didn't miss either of them. This is an amazing episode! If you're a romantic and a fan of the show, I'll be shocked if you don't love it.

10/10

Sigh., 10 March 2015
1/10

I couldn't finish the whole thing! I'm a huge Dolph fan, but I wish they'd give him better material. Dolph tries to pull a Clint Eastwood with the "Stranger" routine. It lacks the budget and more importantly, the entertainment to pull it off. It's extremely talky, and the action scenes are very unexciting. It looks really cheap and grainy, and I didn't see the point in the whole scheme of things. Dolph deserves so much more than this cheap crud. When he gets something to work with, he shines. If you want to see a great Lundgren movie, watch The Punisher. He's made good movies in his career, but this isn't one of them. Avoid it!

DUD

Never Upstage the Hero!, 10 March 2015
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

These reviews are for Garfield only!

The Quickie. It's basically Garfield messing around with a pool. Nothing to see

The Caped Avenger.

Jon is stressed out because he's got someone coming to look at his comics. One morning, Garfield wakes up and his teddy bear (Pooky) is missing. Garfield thinks the man coming to visit John has stolen Pooky. With Odie by his side, Garfield tries to unravel the mystery. This is a really silly episode. I love Garfield, but this wasn't that entertaining. The whole Caped Avenger thing felt forced and desperate for laughs. It's too stupid to enjoy. The twist of Jon washing Pooky was fairly amusing, but that's about it.

We get another quickie. Garfield goes to ruin Jon's flower garden, but Garfield finds out he has been fooled with fake flowers by Jon. A decent gag! It was nice to see Jon get one over on Garfield

Green Thumbs Down

Jon's grocery bills are getting astronomical, so he decides on growing his own vegetables. After growing impatient, things begin to finally grow, but Garfield and Odie are forced to fend off a pesky gopher. This one is better than the Caped Avenger. It's somewhat cute and gave me a few smiles. Despite all it's predictability, It's always fun to watch Garfield and Odie in action. Odie acts like a badass watch dog, which was a lot of fun. It's innocuous stuff

I love this show, but there are far better episodes than this one. Watch it once, then forget about it.

5.6/10

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A very good film, but not as good as the original, 10 March 2015
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Henry Frankenstein and the Monster have managed to escape the fire from the end of the first movie. More vulnerable than ever, Henry is coerced into making a mate for the Monster by the maniacal Dr. Pretorious. For many years, I preferred this to the original. I recently watched this again, but my feelings have changed. I now think the original is better. It's really bizarre, even for 1935. This movie is more daring, very ambitious, creative, but it's a bit too creaky at times. It moves a tad too slow, and I don't think it has the same emotional impact. It has some beautiful scenes in it. A great one involves the Monster trying to help a little girl who has fallen in the water. I also loved the relationship between the Monster and the blind man, which is sadly short-lived. You won't find many things more beautiful than that relationship. The Monster wanting simple things in life, like smoke, booze, and a friend. It makes the monster that more effective. The Monster really began to show a human side to him. He's somewhat sympathetic, and I felt for him. Boris Karloff is incredible as the Monster. You won't find many better performances than his performances as the Monster. He talks in this one and I had mixed feelings about it. I didn't think it was all that necessary. Colin Clive is excellent again as Henry. He does a great job of combining madness and regret. You can see the toll this is beginning to take on him. Valerie Hobson is horrible as Elizabeth. You expect some plastic acting back then, but she is seriously terrible. Why they casted her is beyond me. Elsa Lanchester is barely in the movie! She shows up at the beginning and the end. The "Bride" is promoted heavily, but that doesn't come into play until the end. It's definitely tragic and heartbreaking when she shows up though. Wait until you see the sadness from the Monster. Ernest Thesiger is great as the kooky Dr. Pretorious. Special mention to Una O'Connor for stealing the show with her antics.

I like this movie a lot, but I no longer put it on the original's level. That being said, It's a great movie. Horror fans have to watch it at least once

7.8/10

Runaway (1984)
Robots Gone Rogue! Can Tom Selleck Save the Day?, 10 March 2015
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie had all the potential in the world. That being said, the execution was decent at best. The story is interesting enough, but I felt it lacked excitement at times. It can be pretty talky, making it difficult to maintain your interest at times. For the 80's, I was pretty impressed by how the robots looked. I also liked the look of the guns and the special kind of bullets they used. The effects were mighty impressive for the time. Some of them were outdated, but they impressed me for the most part. I didn't mind the explanation, about why the robots were evil, but I would have kinda liked to see them as "pure evil" I felt the explanation detracted a bit from the impact. I did like the tribute to Hitchcock's Vertigo. It was cool to see Selleck suffer from Vertigo. I thought that was pretty nifty. The acting is solid. Tom Selleck comes through like usual. He gives his typical "You behave" style when he's annoyed, but he does it more emphatically. Seriously, he was pretty good. Kirstie Alley isn't in the movie all that much. She was fun in her part though. Cynthia Rhodes is OK as Selleck's partner/love interest. I didn't think she was that special. Joey Cramer is annoying as the kid. Typical for the 80's. Gene Simmons acts with his scowl a lot as the villain. I thought he was OK at best. The finale is pretty exciting. Watching Selleck overcoming his fear of heights was intense.

I'm picky with futuristic movies, but Michael Crichton did a relatively good job as the director. If he worked on the pacing and the story a bit more, this could have been a dynamite film. In lieu of that, we get a film that's watchable with flashes of brilliance. It's worth a watch, but that's about it.

5.8/10

Cusack Is Winning, 10 March 2015
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

When I heard about this sequel, I groaned. I actually loved the first movie! It was funny, entertaining, and fairly creative. Going forward with a sequel without John Cusack was really stupid. Cusack was such a big reason the first movie was so enjoyable.He was very smart to say no. The biggest problem I had is that it's so desperate for laughs. They try to be as raunchy as possible for the sake of laughs. I'll admit that I laughed a few times, but they were few and far in between. Most of the time I just sat in the theater with a blank expression on my face. The funniest scene for me involves Adam and the ladybug sticker. I won't spoil it, but it's pretty funny. The characters feel very overexposed. Rob Corddry was great in the first one, but his character is intolerable in this one. He has way too much screen time, and isn't funny enough. The same goes for Craig Robinson, who I've never really been a fan of. Adam Scott has no charisma, in my opinion. I didn't get why they casted him. Clark Duke is OK. I can either take him or leave him. The ending leaves things open for a sequel! Thankfully, they seemed to be inspired by the gags from the end credits from 22 Jump Street, which means they were most likely kidding.

This movie bombed pretty good. I don't know what I was thinking by paying money to see this in a theater. Stick with the first one, thank me later.

4.3/10

Home Alone 4 (2002) (TV)
The definition of "disgrace", 10 March 2015
1/10

(Credit IMDb) Kevin McCallister's parents have split up. Now living with his mom, he decides to spend Christmas with his dad at the mansion of his father's rich girlfriend, Natalie. Meanwhile robber Marv Merchants, one of the villains from the first two movies, partners up with a new criminal named Vera to hit Natalie's mansion.

This is gonna be a quick review! I saw this over a year ago, and I've forgotten most of it. The only thing I really remember about it was how excruciatingly atrocious it was. I can't believe the audacity they had to try to make this a continuation of the first two movies? Home Alone is one of my favorite movies of all time! This movie tried to defecate all over the first one. Why on earth did they need to bring the character of Kevin back? He's iconic! Mike Weinberg tries, but he's no match for Culkin. Even Marv is brought back with a different actor. There are no laughs, no entertainment, just headaches. If you have a heart, please don't make your kids watch this.

DUD

Out of toilet paper? Use the DVD/Blu-Ray cover! That's about all it's good for, 10 March 2015
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm not gonna bother writing down the storyline for this sequel. They had no business making a sequel after the horrible second movie. It uses the same, boring approach, which is beyond stale. This time, they go all the way back to 1988!! Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel just to make some cash at the box office. They talked about befriending an entity in the first movie, but that doesn't mean they needed to make a freaking prequel/sequel out of it! I don't give a flying f****** about Katie and her sister's childhood. If you thought the snail's pace was bad in Paranormal Activity II, wait until you watch this movie. It makes Paranormal Activity II look like a speeding bullet in comparison. There are way too many shots of the house, characters doing pointless things. At one point, the husband actually wants to see how big of a drag his wife can take on a marijuana cigarette (!) Stuff like that just screams filler. They also try to legitimize the 80's setting by using VHS. It's about the only thing in this movie that they put effort on. It's completely void of entertainment, suspense, scares, and tension. The idiotic characters make things even worse. The male lead is just another Micah, in my opinion. Speaking of Micah, he shows up briefly to cash in a check. Katie Featherstone has gotten rather hot, but that's about it. She doesn't do much. The ending is very anti-climatic, making me wonder why I spent my precious minutes on this movie.

Anything to make money, even if the story is told in the first two. Thank god this movie was short! It still felt like well over two hours. Thankfully, Paranormal Activity 4 was actually quite tolerable. It wasn't great, but it showed semblance of what made the first movie good. If you're looking to cure insomnia, this might just do it!

DUD

Philomena (2013)
A Moving Journey, 10 March 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A cynical journalist (Coogan) takes on the story of Philomena's (Dench) search for her son, who was taken away from her unceremoniously years ago at a convent. On their journey, Martin (Coogan) begins to open up his eyes, becoming friends with her in the process. Despite all the buzz surrounding it, I had no expectations for this movie. I went in with an open mind. After I was done with it, I could see why this movie was so well-liked. I wouldn't call it Oscar worthy, but it's certainly a really good film that moved me. It's genuine with some well-timed humor in times that called for it. One thing this movie made me realize is why I frown upon religion these days. These nuns are so pretentious, making the convent seem like a prison. Despite his bitter attitude, I was easily able to sympathize with Coogan's attitude towards religion. The story is very solid, but it's the two leads that really make this movie. They make the journey memorable. Judi Dench is absolutely wonderful as Philomena. I never knew that woman who talks so much could be so likable. Her views on things angered me at times, but I understood it in a way. Her chemistry with Coogan is great as well. Steve Coogan is just as good. His sarcastic personality had me in stitches a lot of the time. People may be mixed on his character, I thought it was excellent. His rant on Sister Hildegarde is memorable. Credit to Barbara Jefford for playing one of the most unlikable nuns I have ever seen.

This is a nice little movie. It's easy to see why it is so beloved. It's a really enjoyable film that knows how to please! See it.

8/10

"Get some rest Pam, you look tired", 20 February 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Jason Bourne begins a new life with Marie in India. When he figures out they are being hunted by somebody (Karl Urban) , Jason decides to take Marie, and get to safety. Marie is tragically shot in the head and killed. Jason figures Treadstone is behind it, but he's told that Treadstone is defunct. Jason is being framed for a CIA operation gone wrong. Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) is relentless in her pursuit of Jason, leaving him forced to try to clear his name. This is inferior to the original, but most sequels are! All you can ask for is some entertainment. I'm glad to say this movie offers entertainment in spades. This one may be more personal than the original. It has controlled tension, slowly building up to a crescendo. Once the action commences, it rarely stops! It's a real thrill ride that knows how to reel the viewer in. My favorite is the lengthy car chase in the finale! It's really pulse pounding. There are some really powerful scenes in this movie. The scene where Jason is underwater, realizing that Marie is dead always makes me emotional. It's debatable if Jason should have shown more emotion, but considering his cold nature, I thought it was perfect. If you look closely, you can see the emotion on his face anyway. Those that like good fight scenes will be pleased. Matt Damon is really fast with hands, and looks legitimately like a bad ass. My only carp is Paul Greengrass's shaky camera work. Some like it, but it annoys me. I hate the quick camera cuts as well. Matt Damon continues to amaze as Bourne. He's the perfect anti-hero. Very cool under pressure, and really charismatic. His no-nonsense act is a blast to watch. Franka Potente is adorable, but barely in it. I'd say she has 20 minutes. I hated that they killed her off, but I understood it. Joan Allen is solid in her role. Her naivety made things interesting, and I enjoyed her intensity as well. Brian Cox is excellent, but I predicted the twist a mile away. Stiles, Urban, Mann, are all good in their roles. Chris Cooper has a brief cameo in flashback scenes, but his "soldier" talk felt corny.

This sequel is as good as it gets! It's a great story of revenge, and how you can't change what you are. Jason is a killer, but watching him show off a humane side made for some riveting storytelling. I've seen this movie many times, and it never gets old.

8.3/10


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