urantiafox1 Reviews

Cloverfield (2008)

If you are American, you will love it, if you aren't, you wont

[1/10 · 6 February 2008]

This film is a convincing study on how to use two contemporary cinematic techniques to make a film. These being 1) Running about with a camcorder so no conventional filming skills are needed and 2) Other people running about screaming creating absolute chaos so no plot is really necessary.

It also continues casting aspects of the the teen slasher epidemic, which was also transplanted uncomfortably and very sadly into recent films such as AVP2Requiem. If in doubt get some hot woman on the screen, a hunky guy with no presence and some sad perv lusting after a woman he has no chance with. Then get them to stand about going 'oh my god oh my god oh my god I don't know whats going on but Im so horny' and cry and hug each other.

This film is pathetic.

Honestly.

Rubbish.

Star Wars: Revelations (2005 Video)

A new era in film...

[7/10 · 23 July 2005]

The advent of readily available CGI technology now allows many people to produce, with some effort and some expense still, I might add films/ videos of the calibre of big budget films.

The most interesting aspect, aside from the film itself (on which I shall comment further) is the question it raises about the huge amounts of finance that 'need' to be poured into Hollywood films. On the strength of this work by a relatively few dedicated people working for NOTHING and with a budget (insofar as I know) of AROUND $24000, the glaring disparity becomes clear, how much money is simply being poured down the toilet? how many millions? where is it all going? can actors still be justified in receiving pay packages of millions per film? No, not really, and a production such as this one will make people more aware of this fact. So well done for that.

To the film- Bad points: Cheesy props ( the holocron), some awful attempts at voice impressions ( the emperor )- when will people learn that an American cannot dub the voice of an Englishman?! Especially with villains such as grand moff tarkin, count dooku and any sith with the exception of Darth vader , but then again James earl jones accent is very correct anyway and the voice is distorted. But an American 'drawl' Doesn't work! it's about as evil as a rubber chicken.

TIE fighter pilots in awful choreography.

Peoples hair is much too clean and well cared for (Declan) in fact most things could have done with being a bit more worn looking.

Otherwise, Good points: Great costumes, amazing CGI, as good as a 'Proper' cinematic release, Costumes are great, nice park lightsabres popping out and going zummmmm, and the MUSIC is, well GREAT!!! Lightsabre fighting isn't that amazing however.

It doesn't really rise much above the standard of TV series such as 'xena' and 'hercules' but for a fan film, thats amazing.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)

Extremely daft

[4/10 · 12 July 2005]

knees, elbows, stupid music, pointless stunts repeated over and over again. More knees, more elbows, more pointless stunts repeated over and over again.Bad acting.

This film is a transparent attempt to give lip service to both jackie chan and bruce lee while the film wallows about with no centre of its own and a wafer thin plot padded out by more elbows and flying knees.

Two or three stunts and moves are incredible and then they are just repeated at every possible opportunity, very very pointless automobile chase also.

Did I mention the bad acting?

Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Yes, but Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[8/10 · 19 May 2005]

Yeah redeemed indeed, to a point, if you can get past Lucas's cheesing (e.g Vaders emergence as the fully armoured Dark Lord - ham ham ham) its a great film and Anakins quandary over his Mothers memory and the temptation to save Padme from 'certain death' is quite heart rendingly illustrated, although his fall to the Dark side is somewhat sudden and seems to occur in the blinking of an eye.

Chewbacca's cameo is really pretty unnecessary, unless there is more in an extended version, he just stands there making those daft wookiee noises with his mate Tarful.

Ewan Magregor really carries this film, along with the CGI Yoda and the Emperor giggling inanely at every turn like an old welsh sheep with intestinal problems.

All mickey taking aside I really enjoyed it and its a fitting end to the saga and as such is required viewing.Id make it differently, but then, a bit like LOTR I think everyone would.

Yes, I still want a real lightsabre, and that says it all.

Cool.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

Three years of foreplay.....the climax?

[19 December 2003]

Its not often that a film transcends its medium and becomes an experience, the Lotr trilogy is simply just that though, it lives and breathes and has had millions of people in ecstacy each christmas, leaving them sad that a whole year stretches out before them until the next instalment arrives.

Everybody has their gripes with the films concerning parts left out etc etc, but The Lord of the Rings trilogy of books is such a crowning achievment because it set your imagination free and everyone had their own version of middle earth inside their head.

This is one version, Peter Jacksons version, everyone would do it differently, I wish the extended dvd would have all footage on it that was shot so we could edit it ourselves, no-one can ever make it and satisfy everybody.

I have my own gripes, notably the scene at orthanc with saruman and the war of the shire. Elijah wood is far too girly a hero for me and Gimli often comes across in the films as a stupid oaf and you wonder why he is there.

When all is said though, the return of the king is a fitting end to the trilogy, its basically wonderful to watch and has set new standards in cinema which few will be able to match. Its important in another way as it has brought to the fore the importance of the PLOT and a STORYLINE, most films are pathetic in both these respects and lotr sets a new standard. THANK GOD, and of course J.r.r.Tolkien.

See it. You must.