Reviews written by registered user
johnmerzetti

5 reviews in total 
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Ethan Mao (2004)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Save yourself the time ... watch paint dry!, 10 April 2012
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

With such glowing reviews, one can only assume that those people worked on the movie, were paid by (or friends with) the film makers or were extremely inebriated/high/comatose when they saw the film.

I cannot recall when I have seen such poor acting ... oh, wait ... NEVER!!!

Rule number one when holding someone hostage ... don't let them go to the bank alone!!! Your hostage - yes, even if it is your Mom - might just call the cops! Even Stevie Wonder could have seen that "twist" coming.

Why must we settle for poor-quality film-making like this, just because it is "Gay" cinema?! Do yourselves a favour ... rent a porno ... you will be more entertained (and probably find better acting and plot development).

Complete, utter crap!!!

Breakaway (2011)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Game misconduct!, 9 April 2012
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I hoped that this would be an enjoyable movie, considering that the very funny Russell Peters was in it; unfortunately, it was LAME.

The jokes generally fell flat. Pot calling the kettle black? Really?! I am surprised that we never heard, "I know you are, but what am I?" Pot calling the kettle brown would have been funnier.

The plot had no periods of intensity ... certainly nothing that made me give a rat's ass about what happened and nothing worthy of being followed by "denouement".

When Raj is served the very hot dish at Patel's, and his love interest, Melissa, eats it, she is desperate for a glass of water. In that scene, Raj knocks over the glass then hands it to her. It was very obvious that there was no liquid in the glass before or after it was knocked over. Presumably the "knocking over" was an error. Was this such a low budget movie that they could not shoot another take to make it even look remotely real?!

How is it that Raj has a Canadian accent, but his younger brother has an Indian accent, even if only slight? Were they not both raised in the same household in Canada?

The appearance of Drake in the movie (apparently a friend of Russell Peters in really life) was oh-so-contrived. While it is possible that someone of his calibre would be hanging out at the same bar as these regular Joes, even if he were, we are expected to believe that he would sing for someone - someone he does not know - just because they asked him (and God knows how Raj got past his entourage to even ask him)?

The whole issue with turbans vs. helmets - presumably, a critical moment - was brought up so casually and then "solved" so casually it was laughable. And Raj was able to have ancient-style Sikh warrior helmets retrofitted to CSA standards - and thus be acceptable for play in the league - within a week (yes, the dialogue even mentioned that they only had a week)?! Really?! Come on!

Extremely disappointing. Perhaps, Mr. Peters, like Brent Butt proved with "Corner Gas", you should stick to stand-up ... you're much funnier there.

7 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
In a word ... dreadful!, 2 April 2012
1/10

What unadulterated, self-indulgent crap! The acting was simply awful! :( Boy, I wish I could get those precious hours back! I guess the one consolation is that I watched it on Encore Avenue and didn't waste any money renting it.

I would like to leave the review at that, but I must write at least ten lines, so here goes.

It is a good thing for Viggo Mortensen that he has done some fantastic work since then, or he might have gone the way of Philip Michael Thomas.

I generally don't watch movies that show fewer than three stars in the description on my digital guide; this one had no stars, but I simply thought that an oversight. Next time, I'll know what an absence af stars means.

5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Good acting overcomes some dumb plot points, 19 August 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I enjoyed most parts of this movie. The acting was very good, especially from Tatiana Maslany (who played Ruby).

I do have to say that a few of the key plot points appeared very much contrived and took away from a very good story.

When Ruby discovers her dad having sex with another man, I didn't buy it. He has two small girls at home and brings a guy home (fair enough) but then they have sex in the living room?! Why wouldn't they use the bedroom? If the reason were because they were drunk and horny, there was no setup for that.

When Ruby and Will have sex at the party and there is blood, no one is quite sure where the blood came from (and there was lots of it). Will says (something like), "I must have cut my foreskin." Must have cut my foreskin?! I think someone would know if they cut their foreskin ... very painful!

The scene with "Uncle" Stuart, when they are having sex, is uncomfortable. Fair enough, it is supposed to make you feel uneasy since it is an older man coming on to his friend's underage daughter; however, I did not buy the interaction between the two of them in this scene. I don't know what it is, but it didn't gel with me at all.

As I said, I enjoyed most parts of the movie. It seems that the sex scenes were where it fell apart for me. If these were edited a bit better (or perhaps re-scripted altogether) it would make for one hell of a good movie!

Judas Kiss (2011/I)
11 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
What a waste of time!, 19 August 2011
1/10

I saw this at the Vancouver Queer Film Festival last Saturday and think that it was a waste of a perfectly good concept! The acting was terrible (except for, in all honestly, Brent Corrigan who seems to have moved from porn to mainstream with ease). As well, the story was told in a very confusing manner.

I saw Charlie David in "Mulligans" and thought that it was well done; so, despite his God-awful acting in "Dante's Cove", I figured that I would give this one a chance. Boy, do I wish I had that two hours back!

The director and producer (I believe) were there and talked about this movie as if it were the latest blockbuster out of Hollywood. If anything, the only thing Hollywood about it was the BS on their collective part. How they sit through this crap at regular festival showings is beyond me!