Reviews written by registered user
|30 reviews in total|
If you're looking for a mindless popcorn flick, this is for you. All it is is a Jason Statham movie. It's about a guy who hires professionals "mechanics" (hitmen) to kill criminal lords. Sound familiar? Anyway, as we progress through the movie, it's just shooting and swearing, like the Green Hornet, only much worse. DO NOT TAKE YOUR KID TO THIS MOVIE. JUST SAYING. And you're about to walk out of the theater, BUT WAIT! Oh never mind, it's just a dumb gunfight. Don't see this movie. See the Green Hornet, which is just like this movie, but just a little better. Jason Statham should stop making movies. Death Race, War, The Expendables, Crank? He's only made three good movies in his life (The Bank Job, Transporter 1 and the Italian Job) and this is not one of them. I do not recommend it.
These two episodes both have their moments and are both very funny.
Hooky: It's fishing up here on what Sandy Cheeks calls "good old dry land". And Mr. Krabs has seen this before. He warns SpongeBob not to go anywhere near the dangerous "hooks", but as we all know, something being forbidden just makes you want to do it more in the first place. This episode is hilarious. Mr. Krabs' overreaction to SpongeBob taking a break and the gift shop gag are great, but I think I like Patrick's song "We're going to the carnival" best. 9/10
MM/BB II SpongeBob wins an official Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy sweepstakes, and wins a free Magic Conch Shell in the mail. However, in the Mermaid and Barnacle Boy TV series, whenever the shell is used, it means there is danger, and pretty soon SpongeBob is using the shell as a ploy to see his favorite superheroes in person. I like this episode, although there are some MMBB's that are better. The montage is great, and also when the gang meets the Atomic Flounder. 9/10
I thought one of these episodes was good, and one was excellent.
Fools in April: Squidward is tired of SpongeBob overdoing it on April Fools day and decides to get revenge. This episode will seem pretty generic up until the halfway point, which is where it gets better. Some of Squidward's attempts to apologize are some of the best moments in Season 1, but it's not enough to make up for the lousy first half. 8/10 Neptune's Spatula: This is the one that really stood out to me. SpongeBob pulls King Neptune's spatula from the ancient grease and gets an opportunity to move to Atlantis and become Neptune's fry cook-that is, if SpongeBob can beat him in a Krabby Patty cook-off. This episode had me in the stitches all the way to the end, especially some of Patrick's lines, like when Neptune zaps him. "Is it hot in here, or what?" *Patrick collapses* Gosh, I love that. Also, Mr. Krabs reassuring SpongeBob he can win and then betting thousands upon thousands of dollars on Neptune is a great gag. I just love this episode. 10/10 Overall: 9/10
Wow....it's been awhile. Haven't reviewed a movie since late September.
But that doesn't mean I haven't stopped seeing them. In fact, last
night i got off my lazy butt to go see a movie that was making a butt
load of money, "The Green Hornet". After 2 weeks it's made 63 million
dollars (great take-in for a January movie). But let's talk about what
matters. Is this movie good? Answer, no. Is this movie fun? Answer,
yes. This is nothing except an action movie in the winter. Explosions
and clichés abound. Strictly a popcorn flick. But that doesn't mean you
can't have a good time watching this movie. This movie will entertain
you for.....well, about 2 hours, but if you need to get out of the
house and are just looking for a good time, this is the movie for you.
Grade: C (B if we're talking about how entertaining it was)
This movie takes place in a coffin for 94 minutes and only a coffin. Sounds wicked boring, right? That's what I thought at first. But Buried is a thousand kinds of awesome. It's intense, it's scary at times, it's entertaining, a little bloody for the horror fans, and I am reminding you that this takes place in 94 minutes of almost nothing. Here's how the plot goes. Paul Conroy is a truck driver working in Iraq. He gets attacked by an Iraqi caravan of some sort and is held hostage 6 feet underground in a coffin for a million dollars. Now the best part of this movie is that you don't get to see what's happening above ground, so it keeps you guessing. There is a terrific performance by Ryan Reynolds, who finally tossed his love for crap projects and finally picked a good one. This is one of the most entertaining movies of the year and could pick up a few Saturn Awards, but I don't really see it winning anything else. Overall, it's a tense thriller with a great performance, an excellent screenplay and a shocking ending-Go see Buried. Grade: A- I'll see you guys soon when I review "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps."
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The Town is a bank robbery movie about a robber (Ben Affleck) trying to
get his life in order. He can't decide between a happy life with his
new girlfriend (Rebecca Hall) or staying a crook with his creepy buddy
(Jeremy Renner). Renner gives such a good performance as a jerk in this
movie that you would think he's a total a-hole in real life. You may
know him from The Hurt Locker, last year's best picture (it should've
been Avatar). Jon Hamm stars as a cop trying to stop Affleck and his
friends but not persuasively enough that they pull off 2 more heists
before the movie's over. This movie is elevated by great performances
by Affleck and Renner, and Blake Lively is also good when she's on
screen. Ben's last film in the director's chair was "Gone Baby Gone"
and "The Town" proves he wasn't a one-hit-wonder. The Town is great and
Ben Affleck can direct the hell out of a car chase. Go see it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Devil is not necessarily an actual Shyamalan movie because he only
wrote the story, but two other people in the director's chair and a
twist that isn't dumb make for a good movie that Shyamalan was involved
in. I think that's enough for people to go see his next project after
this. Now this may be a PG-13, but it's a hard PG-13 so think twice
about taking your kids, but if you're 14 or over or something like
that, you're in for a best horror flick since Last Exorcism (which
sucked, but it's the only horror flick that's come out in a while). And
for those you who keep saying on the message board for this movie that
there's a dumb twist, like the elevator is the devil or something,
you're wrong. The devil is actually somebody on the elevator. Devil
isn't gonna win any awards for, well, anything (actually maybe a couple
of Saturns) but if you're bored one night, have at least 12 bucks
(including popcorn) and wanna get scared at the theater, give Devil a
shot. You won't regret it.
Grade: B+ I'll be back on Saturday when I review "The Town".
Hey it's TVGuy3, and sadly this is the only movie I'll be reviewing this week, since my cousin said the Virginity Hit is a big steaming pile of trash. Anyway, I was a big fan of the Resident Evil franchise ever since it came out on PlayStation. The first movie was a great shocker, the second almost rivaling the first, and the third was showing signs of decline. Now with Afterlife, the fourth installment, I was just looking for a popcorn movie. And it is. But the first three all also functioned as real horror movies. This one is just slashing and shooting. Don't get me wrong, it's a really capable slashing and shooting and Milla Jovovich gives a great performance, but this movie honestly needed more plot. Or a new director. Paul W.S. Anderson is not a good director. Let's just get that out of the way. The thing the first three movies were lacking was good direction. Luckily, the script and the acting were good enough to scare us. But like I said before, the script and acting is just slashing and shooting, which makes the bad direction even more visible. If you're not a fan of the franchise, this is a good horror flick. But if you're a fan of the first three, don't waste your money and be disappointed. If you want slashing and shooting with a real plot, go see Machete. Not this.
If I could give this movie a negative-infinity for a vote, believe me,
I would. I only saw this because the projector for The American was
broken (they fixed it later though, so I ended up seeing 2 movies last
night). I chose this movie over Piranha because this movie is supposed
to be bad (it is) and I don't think I've written a bad review of a
Okay so here's how it goes. It's a parody of Twilight. Twilight Saga is bad, and this is worse. Wanna see something creepy? BOX OFFICE OPENING WEEKEND COMPARISONS Vampires Suck $12M Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World $10M Isn't that scary? I thought so. Anyway, back to the review. Don't see this movie unless you are on Death Row and don't want a lethal injection, because you will die watching this movie. 3 years ago, I made the mistake of paying $8 to see Epic Movie (which sucked). But, thanks to the stupid economy, I made the mistake of paying $11 to see Vampires Suck. Thanks a lot, Bush and Obama. Never see this movie. Oh and uh, yeah, I'm on team NOBODY.
Hey guys, this is TVGuy3, I'll be reviewing new movies that come out
every week. I went to Machete with low expectations and I was
pleasantly surprised. The acting and direction definitely could have
been better, but that's not what matters in this movie. You watch
Machete to see people get slaughtered in creative, gruesome ways. Like
an earlier review said, this movie is corny violent cheap and AWESOME.
Great visuals save this movie from being an unneeded disaster by keeping you involved. Every 5 seconds there is a gory, yet very cool death. If you have a strong stomach, go see it. If not, you should just stay home, but you're definitely missing out on something great. It won't get any Oscar nods, but if there was a most entertaining category, it would give Piranha 3D a run for its money.
|Page 1 of 3:||  |