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Frankjwilliams

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7 reviews in total 
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Four Rooms (1995)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
2397, 3 July 2007
5/10

When the movie starts off you begin to feel a bit queasy (is that how you write that?). The introductory credits are cartoonish, insanely stupid and long. Really self-indulgent. Like they really thought they were being incredibly funny, when in actuality they only remind us of the intro bits of the Pink Panther cartoon, only much more childish.

And sure enough: the first of the four movies is so horribly unfunny, badly written and overacted, all I could think about it was: 'Errr...' My movie-watching companion concurred. We had vacant stares upon our faces. The only decent part about the first movie were the bare tits and Madonna's cleavage. Furthermore it was mindbogglingly dumb and theatre-acting like. (Insert sound of disgust here.) 2 out of 10.

The second movie: same deal. Overacting, theatre-like overacting, dumb story, silly situations, unlikely and unlikeable people. Really, I was thinking how I could've spend my time even worse than looking at this crap, and nothing really popped up. Maybe intentionally breaking my leg or knowingly unhinging my jaw would be even less fun. 3 out of 10. Also, the first two directors have had no career at all after their sh^tpile contribution to Four Rooms, and rightfully so. Go do something you're good at. Theatre?

Then came the third one. We weren't sure whether we had already seen the ones of Tarantino and Rodriguez, and luckily we did not. This was the Robert Rodriguez one, we quickly figured. The style, the humor, all that stuff. Also, Tim Roth, the main character was not overacting so much in this one. It's an awesomely told story about two kids left behind in a hotel on new year's eve by their parents (one of which is a really cool Antonio Banderas). With only the bellboy (Roth) to look after them. It has funny dialogue, decent acting (even by the kids) and is more realistic, and towards the end pays off in a climax that had me and my friend laughing out loud for a couple of minutes straight. Forking awesome: 9 out of 10.

The last one of the bunch was the one by Tarantino, which we figured when Tarantino himself was in the first scene. It's typical Tarantino, but a bit more over the top in the start and with (pretty much signature) overly long conversations (remember Kill Bill 2? Good lord...), that were not nearly as funny and well written as in say Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. This one is decent as well, only it drags on and on. The pay-off though is again remarkable, having to do with a wager involving a car, a big meat-cleaver, a pinkie and drunk party guests. Too long, boring at times, but the climax saves it: 7 out of 10.

Thus we add up: 2+3+9+7= 21. 21 divided by four: 5.25, so: 5 out of 10. Just skip the first two bits if you want to keep your stomach contents.

3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
The Big Nothing (lots of spoilers, but what is there to spoil?), 21 August 2004
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Friday night.

Me and a friend figured it'd be a good plan to rent a movie, before going out. After a chanceless expedition to find something worthwhile, 'Identity' and 'The Big Kahuna' were the only two movies we nominated. We flipped a coin and it was heads, so we rented 'The Big Kahuna'. Alright, Kevin Spacey, Danny de Vito, what could go wrong? During the first 15 minutes of the movie, it felt it could turn out good, although the constant blabbering of Spacey's character started to annoy. Three guys: two marketing veterans, De Vito and Spacey, and a new guy, in a hotel room planning a reception to get some big cheese business guy to use their lubricants. After 30 minutes, nothing has changed. There's only conversation. We start to think this movie was made in one day, and in one take. Every half ass bit of dialogue stayed in somehow. And all of a sudden, after 45 minutes... NOTHING, still nothing! Dear god! I guess the screenwriter, who also wrote the original play, must have thought that if he'd just let the characters talk on and on and say quasé intelligent and insightful things, he would have a brilliant movie. Then there's the reception which the whole movie is about. Big cheese dude doesn't show up, Spacey's character goes halfway nuts (but not in a funny or cool way, just annoying), De Vito doesn't care (he doesn't care about anything, which IS interesting) and the new guy doesn't know whether he cares. New guy spoke to big businessman, didn't know it was him, got a card and went to big businessman's party, it all leads to nothing.

Nearing the end there are some decent conversation between De Vito and the new guy and that's about it.

Now, a movie were nothing happens can be very interesting, when there is great dialogue, likeable characters, great actors, and some kind of coming of age-ending, but this movie offers none of those features. 98 percent of the movie takes place in the terribly boring hotel room, which makes you want to sleep, the overall pace of the film does so even more. I'm sorry if I've spoiled the whole movie for you, but then again, you could say, I've saved you a couple of bucks, which you can now invest in beer or food.

10 out of 19 people found the following review useful:
Keep watching, you will find it great after a while, 27 May 2004

In The Netherlands it seems the show has just been canceled (it was played daily for a year, they probably ran out of episodes), which is a damn shame. This show provided something to come home home to 5 times a week.

In the beginning I didn't find it all that funny. Still, I kept watching because I felt the show had potential. My trust was not betrayed. After some 20 episodes, the show kept getting better; better storyline, better acting, better jokes. The characters got more developed. Now, out of 10 shows, 8 shows are worth 8.5 out of 10, the two other shows a 6.5.

Great actors, good writing, good, often quite original jokes. Look for the recurring guest appearance of Mr. Savitzki, he's brilliant.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Dumbest movie of 2001, or even better?!, 22 September 2003
2/10

This is the dumbest movie I've seen in a long long time, and I've seen Charlie's Angels. Everything happening in this movie is stupid. The jokes, mostly cracked by my all-time hero Brendan Fraser (hell, yeah)are about as funny as Kevin Costner trying to be a comedian. The most important thing; in this movie everything is predictable (something that should've been the tagline)

I watched this movie with my family and a friend, and we were all completely astonished by it's complete and utter stupidity, and just the pure agonizing dumbness of it all.

I think it is really quite special that one can steer that zeppelin-look-alike-atrocity with a steering wheel -sure, and with my bike I accelerate by flapping my arms and legs-.

Yes, yes people, it is all possible in this film. O, yeah, and the woman (who cares for her name) turned out to be a descendant of Nefertiti (BUT OF COURSE!). What an incredible load of crap this movie is.

Another point. The scorpion king-guy in the final couple of scenes looked so real, they should've just put in a puppet on strings, it would've been more believable.

Seriously people, this movie does just not deserve more than 2/10. It is easily the stupidest movie of 2001. And that's one point for it's quality to keep you laughing in utter disappointment.

13 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
The greatest movie to see alone, late at night, when it's Christmas-time, 5 April 2003
10/10

I saw this movie around Christmas 2002, it was about 02.00 am, I thought I'd make one more walk around the channels. Then I saw a guy in a cab on BBC, and the colors of the movie seemed okay -You know, when a movie is really dumb, or bad, it often has intense and bright colors-. I wasn't doing anything at the moment, so I left it on. Then I became more and more interested in it, and decided to turn of the computer and focus only on the movie. I think this is a movie that truly represents the spirit of Christmas, although I am still not sure what the hell that may be, I'm sure this is it. Paul Dillon, whom I did not know beforehand plays his character brilliantly. He's a quiet guy, who somehow got into the job of cabdriver. He has to work on Christmas-eve and he gets all these strange people in his cab who tell him about what happened to them lately, and that's it! Fantastic. From there you see him trying to say the right things, and that maybe is the most beautiful thing about this movie. The movie is really easy going, you can just sit, do nothing, just watch and let it pass by. Therefore, when watched alone, late at night, at Christmas-time, this is the perfect movie for the moment, and deserves 10 out of 10 points.

Fight Club (1999)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
The title doesn't do adequate justice to how brilliant this movie really is., 24 March 2003
10/10

One of the most original movies I have ever seen, with fantastic acting performances by Brad Pitt and Edward Norton. Another point of greatness is the camera action. Really intense. This is is the kind of movie that should be getting multiple Oscars.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Let's put lots of famous actors in a crappy movie and see how it sells, 24 March 2003
4/10

This movie sucks. It just sucks because it does. I don't know, but when I was watching it, I didn't know whether to laugh about it, or take the film seriously. I still don't know. There is about one (1!!) funny part in the movie. The lesser known Wilson-guy stands in front of the mirror and says: "I'm gonna kill myself". Apart from that it was bitter frustration and agony watching this piece of garbage. Incoherent junk (well, what can you expect of a movie with with Ben "I suck bigtime" Stiller in it).