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no-mad

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16 reviews in total 
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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
No that I expected anything better, 20 January 2007
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I have always been a good movie fan. I have recently become a zombie movie fan. I have watched 20+ zombie or zombie-like movies in the past year. This one is below the bottom of the industrial waste barrel.

The characters are caricatures: the pretty girl who doesn't know she's pretty, the pretty girl who knows she's pretty, the pretty girl who's an athlete, the jock ex-boyfriend, the computer geek who (surprise! is good looking and black! Zounds!) the put-upon hero, and lastly the geeky/ annoying/genius younger brother who will save the day.

I don't expect too many movies to be as good as Romero's originals, but this one doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same orifice. Romero's comes breathlessly from the lips of the terrified protagonist. Mention of this one comes from the nether regions, with an aroma to match.

Dirty Love (2005)
16 out of 20 people found the following review useful:
I sprained my finger hitting the fast forward button., 16 May 2006
1/10

When I get an "Unrated" movie, I don't expect it to be good, but I expect some redeeming characteristics. There was a minimum of "breast" and "vagina" talk, but the only bare breasts in the movie were shot from a distance and covered with vomit.

The humor was juvenile and not even a little funny. The writing and acting were abysmal. I honestly cannot think of one good thing about this movie. This is a first for me.

It is not credible that anyone, let alone more than one person, gave this movie a 10 rating.

This movie is so bad that I am never going back to the block buster whence I rented it because I am embarrassed that someone there might recognize me as the guy who rented this movie.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
About what you'd expect from Martin Lawrence., 14 May 2005
6/10

Nothing to get real excited about, but a pleasant way to spend a couple hours. There were plenty of gun battles, and they were pretty good. I have nothing to complain about concerning the fight sequences. The pretty girls were indeed pretty, though I could have used a few more of them or a little more time with them. The only "sexy" scene wouldn't have made my mother uncomfortable. The cops were cops. The robbers were robbers. There were some clever, witty remarks. I can't say that I wish I had written this movie, but I would not be ashamed if I had.

I was surprised to see Timothy Busfield in the movie at all, and disappointed that he had such a small part.

The acting was fine. I had no problem. The effects were fine, aside from the infrequent glitch. The writing was okay, nothing to write home about, but what one would expect from such a movie with such a cast. I am not sure why I didn't like this movie better, but I can't rate it higher than a 6.

I enjoyed the movie, but I doubt that I will rent it again.

3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
One of the dullest movies I have ever slept through., 1 May 2005
1/10

The book was entertaining. It did not translate well into a movie. There was little story. What story there was was hard to follow through all the special effects.

We blew more than $40 for five tickets, popcorn and soda on a Sunday afternoon because the kids really wanted to see the movie. They liked it well enough, but that's all. When kids really like a movie, they can't stop talking about it, reliving it, asking what everyone else liked about it, etc. My kids, aged 15, 12 and 8, didn't even mention it beyond saying "Thanks for taking us."

The acting, directing, casting, etc. were just fine, but there wasn't, anything for them to act, direct, etc. Seriously disappointing.

I, Robot (2004)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Good enough, but not related to the book at all, 4 April 2005
6/10

This is an enjoyable-enough movie, but the title suggests that it is related to Dr. Asimov's book of the same name. It's not.

Susan Calvin is in the book, and the Three Laws are from Asimov's robot stories, but the plot is much closer to a short story called "With Folded Hands" (I don't remember the author) except that this movie has a happy ending. WFH does not.

Smith's character seems loosely based on Lije Bailey, the protagonist from Asimov's Caves of Steel, which is a murder mystery about a dead robot scientist who may have been killed by a robot.

If I knew nothing about the book I, Robot, I probably would have rated this movie higher, but the misleading title and the poor attempt to present this as Asimov's work make my rating of 6 a gift. Perhaps it reflects my love of science fiction more than the quality of the movie.

The Cooler (2003)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Old plot, too predictable, way too much violence, 26 February 2005
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Ii thought the acting was fine. I rented it primarily because I like William H. Macy. I was disappointed as the plot started to unfold. It was completely predictable. The only thing I didn't see coming was the wife not being pregnant.

I could have done without the violence. I expected a little violence, but there was way more violence that I expected, and more than I thought necessary.

There wasn't as much humor as I hoped, either. There was a lot more sex than I anticipated. That's always a plus.

Overall the predictability of the plot so overshadowed everything else I consider my 6 rating a salute to Macy more than my real enjoyment of the movie.


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