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hate eastenders etc soaps, hate daytime tv, almost any tv apart from above, hollywood half efforts after hyping a film to turn over a quick buck!
just my favorite gangster / crime movies
Deu suay doo (2009)
cheesy unrealistic tosh
This film doesn't even come close to chocolate the first film this girl was in.
It's childish, unrealistic, poor story, amateur camera work and so cheesy I sat there wondering if I was going to make it until the end. When I watched Chocolate her first film I was gripped all the way through.
The fight scenes seem so unreal. It's more like fancy dance / acrobatics. The strikes seem weak and feeble yet the bad guys still fall over. That's the problem with a lot of Asian martial arts films. Whilst you can't help but admire their skill and acrobatics you always think to yourself just one solid punch and that skinny little / bony wimp will be on his back........ In this respect western martial arts films are better as when the guy hits someone you believe they are going to be knocked out! Never mind maybe her next film will be better. She has the skills etc or maybe chocolate was just a very good story.
If you want plot outline read IMDb synopsis - these are just my thoughts after watching the film.
Clash of the Empires (2012)
Chistpher judge must be desperate for money......
The hobbits were a mixture of children and dwarfs! They mostly didn't speak English or very poor English so the film makers dubbed their lines over whatever they had said lol.
I just can't believe this film was made. There were some flying crocodiles with men riding them like horses that made me laugh. It was the kind of special effects the geekier amongst us put to amateur film when we were teenagers.
I think the script was written by someone who's first language was not English lol. That together with bad dubbing and a pathetic story make this almost impossible to watch.
I suspect this was made on the cheap as a con to dupe people in DVD rental shops into renting it on the strength by association because The Hobbit an unexpected journey has been released at the same time.
Warning do not pay money for this! I downloaded it but even though it was free i couldn't sit through the whole film. awful.
Firstly I would say don't listen to the bias haters who have cast there votes giving this a low score without even watching it.........
The film was superbly shot. There were some very nice scenes and the transition / editing between scenes was very fluid. The action scenes were much better than all the other twilight films with heads being ripped off and a couple of half decent scraps.
Whilst the dialogue was a bit lacking in this film they made up by presenting a whole host of different characters, there was always something on screen to keep us interested. The character development was also a bit lacking. I would say this film was entertaining but no more. I gave it a 10 to make up for all the haters casting silly votes like 1! There's no need for me to describe the film IMDb does that on the title page. I'm just going to say you will like watching it but don't expect to be intellectually challenged!! It's a popcorn & put your hand down your girlfriends skirt kind of film......
twin peaks vs hostel vs terminator 2 lol
I gave this a 9 just because it surprised me so much. It's prob more of a 6 or 7 out of 10! Quite a few people gave bad reviews because it wasn't like the first film or people have very low expectations because all the other sequels were so dire.
I would like to offer an opinion on the film that I believe is not made bias by preconceptions.
JCVD only plays a bit part really as does Dolph lungren this is basically a Scott Adkins film. He is by far superior to both those guys so that is not a problem.
Right from the start this film was dark. The director used chilling music similar to terminator 2 music to keep us on edge throughout the film.
There wasn't much character development or story telling going on other than what was needed to take us from one violent bone crunching scene to the next!! Going by the other reviews I would say a lot of people didn't understand the film and just found it strange....... Common guys it's not that fu%&king complicated! This film clearly has no basis in reality but there is an explanation for everything if you know the unisol story.
All I will say is that the good guy was actually sent by the bad guys. The bad guy was really the good guy but got it anyway because the good/bad guy was so awesome. The good/bad guy then takes over the cause of the bad guy who was really the good guy!!!!!!!! Surely you know what I mean...........
I will look out for the director of this show as he has a good eye for the dark side. The scenes were well put together. The fighting scenes were bone crunching, bloody and brutal mainly because the unisols can take a lot of damage and heal. The unisols are more advanced than the original and don't need chilling down etc. For those who say this shouldn't have been so dark all I will say is that these dudes are basically killing machines brought back from the dead what did you expect! In summary this is better than the first one even (as long as you can understand it) Scott Adkins is surely the king of action films now. He is awesome (not in a boy crush kind of way)
I've given this a six purely for having the nerve to make such a film!! This film is OK to watch when you have a hangover and want to gawk at Rhona mitras cleavage that's about it.......
I'm not going to write a review as such because its hard to write about something so ridiculous lol Instead I will list the following;-
Black vikings wearing bifocals. smoking tobacco before tobacco was brought to Europe! bronze age vikings living in huge castles built of stone hahahaha. I laughed all the way through this film..... It's seems the director thought gay club music was appropriate for a "period" movie.......
I especially liked Rhona mitra wearing lingerie!! This is the earliest film I've seen Rhona mitra in and my god she is hot. It was worth sitting through just to see her :-) I was particularly amorous towards my girlfriend after watching this, she wondered what got into me. Do not tell her it was Rhona Mitra please.......
There's a lot of machined metal around for bronze age vikings....... WTF! a zipped up plastic bag to put the body into the furnace? I didn't know zips were invented back then hahaha. To top it all off was the loud speaker and PA system hahahah!!! I didn't realise they had night vision telescopes back then..... Apparently back flips and front flips are a sound sword fighting battle technique..... Overall the action scenes were laughable. The sword fighting was a joke.
This film falls into the category of its so bad its good (well almost good) at the least it was entertaining.
creepy, well written. nicely filmed
I was compelled to write a review after seeing some negative reviews. A lot of the other reviewers were expecting some kind of Italian horror like argento etc. When they didn't get what they expected they wrote a bad review.
I cant stand those geeky Italian horrors from film makers like argento so my views are not tainted by it! just because the directer is Italian doesn't mean its going to be similar to those films dur.
This film was nicely filmed in beautiful locations with some smooth editing and quality camera work. I was interested from start to finish in what was happening. For those reviewers who said the film was mixed up obviously didn't get what it was all about. I wont ruin it by telling you.
There was some gruesome imaginative torture porn for those of that are into that sort of thing but what kept me interested was the creepy atmosphere and how invested i was in the characters struggle from the start of the film right through to the end.
In summary really not bad for a lower budget film, a directer who knows how to capture the moment and not give us enough time to question what just happened before the next drama ensues! This is something Hollywood fails with again and again with every genre so i gave it an 8 / 10
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
poor quality cheesy rubbish!
i had to wash my eyes out after watching this, really awful. I admit to being a fan of the cartoon and I've seen every episode but I was looking forward to this film in full knowledge it would not be the same. I have to say as a stand alone film it looked like they were just going through the motions. The dialogue was childish and the story had been squished into such a short space. No time at all had been taken to write a proper story - they just bastardised the original, Goku was a white teenage boy for Christ sake!
they should have written a new story that just paid homage to the original coming up with something interesting but instead they ruined an already well developed story. i think they just made some cheap rubbish to see if they could get all the dragon ball fans to rent it!
middle of the road....
hot chick or 2, fights were OK but not as good as the first film except for the fight where Michael Jai White is hand cuffed and fights off 4 or 5 police men showing his agility. there was some character development but not much, clumsy dialogue - not a lot of complete or realistic conversations, mildly entertaining though i wouldn't watch it twice like you can with some classic martial arts films. Some big plot holes like how a teenage boxer became a mix martial arts fighter with only a few weeks training....... hopefully kids out there don't think that's realistic! they all looked a bit young for MMA - kind of boyband MMA haha
the faults aside it was likable and i was entertained!
Assassination Games (2011)
This film was slow, the fight scenes were boring and unimaginative. The character and plot development was non existent - I found myself not caring about any of the main actors.
The scenes were edited by a 5 year old just loosely strung together with nervous immature cinema photography. Van damme was like a walking meat popsickle - with no character or passion at all. he should retire.
My biggest disappointment was scott adkins. I had such high hopes for him going on previous performances and couldn't believe he was number 2 to van damme but unfortunately he was useless as well. Having unreal skills and personal character doesn't count for much when you choose a lemon of a film like this to be in! where did it all go wrong scott!
I wish i could get the 101 minutes back, not worth the rental or download bandwidth!
better than crows robinhood
bloody! The first sword movie since gladiator where the fight scenes were gory and bloody. The fight scenes were well choreographed. There wasn't much of the close up shaky camera con that recent films have used. the fighting was clearly visible with the camera a distance back from the fights, swords going through flesh (and heads!)
It's good to see a film about Englands ancient history. So much has happened in our past for such a small island but its rarely represented in the movies (certainly not in any kind of positive light).
There wasn't a great deal of character building as we didn't really get to know the people though there was a taste. Basically the films focus was on the siege of Rochester castle. So lots of people trying to climb a wall and hack away at the guys inside! Though the magna carta was mentioned the film didn't really explain how important it was or what it meant to England, its people and one day the world. This could have been done better. Judging by the cinema photography I'd say it was low budget so they didn't do too badly all things considered
I liked the film and will watch it again one day. PS Not really historically correct but the jist of it was on the right track and hey it's entertainment not the history channel......