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The Five-Year Engagement (2012)
Everyone involved in this movie is so much better than this. I'm kind of embarrassed for all of them. Did we need a whole movie about how awful it is to be engaged to a gorgeous, funny, intelligent woman that you make sacrifices for? I just don't understand the point of it. The leads were cute enough together, but it didn't feel like a real relationship. The peaks and troughs were all so contrived and predictable. And all the "comedy" hinged on genitals, dead grandparents, Andy from Parks & Rec except inexplicably successful, and an Asian man with a thick accent. Really? It's 2012, guys. That stuff is stale.
Allison Brie was fantastic, though.
As a fan of the original X Men cartoon, I was a bit disappointed by the first movie. It felt weak and hurried. That said, my expectations were pretty low, and I was pleasantly surprised. So many good decisions were made in the creation of this movie. They let Cyclops show that he's human; that was my favorite bit because I really didn't like him in the last movie. The cameos were sweetly tantalizing, and I loved the scenes with the kids, all of them. I am so looking forward to the next one it's scary :)
The Breed (2001)
I was conflicted *spoilers*
I freely acknowledge that this movie was total and utter crap. However, I found myself watching it again and again. That could be explained away by the presence of Adrian Paul, who looked sexy as hell with fangs. His delivery was a bit stiff, but it still worked. My only beef with his character was the way we were led by the nose regarding his history. It does make sense for characters to bring up the Nazis, being that the vampires were a minority fearful of persecution, but the continued references were used more as a Neon sign pointing to Gray's Jewish heritage and the death of his loved one(s) because of it. The plot was all right, good twists and turns, but the dialogue was Rock Bottom. I was reminded of comedy scenes wherein two people are carrying on two distinct conversations with each other, because they're so wrapped up in themselves they aren't paying attention to what the other person is saying. Here is an example:
"Where is head-quarters, Transylvania?"
"You should be in movies, Mr. Grant."
How did that compute? It felt like there were chunks of conversations lifted out between lines, and there may well have been. I really wish that Bokeem Woodbine had not spent the movie doing an impersonation of a pulp-novel gumshoe, but I enjoyed the cameo by Reed Diamond and I thought Ling Bai did a good job. I like her accent; I thought it fit well with the character and the overall atmosphere of the film. Just recast Steven Grant, re-write the dialogue so the characters have actual give-and-take conversations, cut down on the use of the smoke machine, and...well, it would still be crap :) But, it would be in a better class of crap.