Reviews written by registered user
michel-linschoten

Send an IMDb private message to this author or view their message board profile.

Page 1 of 2:[1] [2] [Next]
16 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Black Swan (2010)
25 out of 78 people found the following review useful:
Delete the sex scene..what you got? 2 nice dances and lots of talking, 2 January 2011
1/10

This will properly set allot of anger, and hate towards the great movie gurus of our time that totally overate this movie.

So i will NOT waste to much time on making this review as i experienced it. I do give you the secret in making a 8.5 scoring movie here on IMDb.

*Get a cheap camera, and zoom in as much as you can and wiggle it allot.

*Get a HOT girl to be the lead role, and another one to make a laughable sex scene with.

*Buy a extra battery-pack for your cam just in case, you want the extended version in one go.

*100% guaranteed success that the IMDb gurus here will vote thumbs up for your movie! It was boring utterly boring, and not even because of the fact that its predictable. But it suppose to suspend me in my chair, and give me a feeling of being there with the lead role. I yawned properly 100 times and the dances are really good so all and all maybe what? 20min is really worth watching for me that is.

That is really all i can say, i do know that i wont look at votes here anymore. My golden tip is go the movies that are low rated there often better then the crap the vote top notch here.

Mirrors (2008/I)
Mirrors, ...was GREAT!, 1 January 2011
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As always my English is not that of perfection as I'm not native. I will not bore you with a entire plot cover to back story. You can easy find it here in IMDb.

Now i know this movie is a few years old by now. And to be frank i never heard of it until last year. So i did the right thing and downloaded it and gave it a honest shot. Bare in mind Kiefer is far from my favorite actor. I love to see his father Donald over him anytime.

But in this one he did a very good convincing job! I love it, from beginning till end. The entire concept of using mirrors as a scare tactic in the horror gerne is not entirely new. As horror fans will know there not many movies were you NOT, see the lead role look in a mirror and the bend over into the sink to wash there face. And the mirror image is still static, or smiling ectra.

So it is safe to say mirrors are just a great tool in most horror flicks to give it that edge. With this movie however it is all about mirrors. The entire story is pretty awesome, no you do not need to be a genius to figure it out. Or it does not have the complex plot over plot or high standing twists.

This is a good old fashion well done thriller/horror movie. That really if you did not see it as of yet is just highly recommendable. IMHO that this movie is really underrated. The special effects are really well done, the acting is really great as Kiefer shows it in this movie really well (depressed ex cop)

Some brutal things happen (the dead of his sister in this movie is really gruesome) And off course mirrors/reflections that are always present. Are well used to give you that scare feeling.

My tip: Watch this late night, then when finished goto the bathroom wash your face. You will notice when you look in your mirror you get a creepy feeling for just a split second. That means it was really good i got to you well knowing its impossible.

Conclusion

Underrated by far this deserved a 8 but here you see many fans vote for there favorite actor. Or the simply have a different taste then i did/do all respectable off course.

Just give it a shot..you will enjoy mirrors!

Buried (2010)
50 out of 92 people found the following review useful:
Overrated by the "masterpiece" groupies here on IMDb., 30 December 2010
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

My English is questionable, but if you after this movie READ the so called MASTERPIECE movie statements and mainly on the message board. Then it gets pretty clear what kind of IQ those people posses to call this a masterpiece.

Long story short, man gets taken hostage and buried alive, he has a cellphone. And then the man in that coffin gets to hear he was already FIRED (to cover there asses) then in the end he dies very realistically.

That is according to the "this is a masterpiece" mediocre reviewers.

Here some FACTS Mr realistic..

Say for argument sake he is buried 6ft under the ground (average size coffin). A quick calculation would come to a running out of air in about an hour and 18 minutes. And this is when he breaths NORMALLY.

The movie is already to long for that not to mention the how he is full of fear (using up more air) make it 1 hour and he would be going to the other world and that is not fiction. However the ending is that he dies and end of the movie.

He is a American, the hajid has a totally wrong VOICE to be one. Then his so called angel (the man who talks him through it) sounds nothing like a American (UK by the tone of it) nothing wrong there. I mean I've been even fast forwarding this movie it was that BORING. And that badly done, then the snake that comes into the coffin.

HE LITS A FIRE TO CHASE IT AWAY...so the air would run out in 45min already. I mean realistic? Really some of you guys should do some more research. Nobody needs a SUPER IQ these says to simply type a few things on the WWW.

OK but i do respect both camps, some like it some hate it. To me this is properly the worst piece of movie-making i have so far seen in this year. Buried flopped as i heard some were here lost 2 million or something. WELL THATS BECAUSE ITS NOT A GOOD MOVIE! SORRY FANBOYS...

I know will get critics over me now, and properly many 0 people find this review not helping them. That is OK I'm glad i set my standards higher concerning movie-making then them.

Do enjoy, but you have be warned you will be utterly bored by it. And the so called "realism" well see what i write do the math. Its not that hard to defeat that comment of the fans.

Just another overrated "masterpiece" by groupies here on IMDb.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Finally entertainment! Really good!, 28 December 2010
8/10

My English as always is questionable. But understandable, and as always i will not bore you with entire plot of the movie spooned out till the bottom.

OK that being said lets take a nice look at this movies, like i always say in every review i wrote here. Movies are like music, some love to rock and roll other like to hear Beethoven. So to get this two camped "this movie sucks" "this movie rocks" stuff out of the way i tend to be objective.

The movie as i like Jeff as one of the great actors in my lifetime. Is just wonderful, his child is very well casted. The behavior fits the entire looks of him. He is not a super pumped up actor with a funny nose (twilight, new moon) he looks good and has that "I can whoop ass" As the movie prolonged, i only found one thing disturbing and that is the way how is able to ENTER TRON. Went to easy but i can forgive the creators of this movie. It is after all just a movie, but once inside the fun starts. The way the DE-aged Jeff is just wonderfully done, and the way the entire movie goes is really good.

Great special effects, and it has a nostalgic feel to it (the sounds mainly) Mind you, yes i have SEEN TRON the original part I, but i cannot remember much from it. And i do not compare them either, i believe need to judge movies for what it is. And not what it was in the past so i will download part I for sure and give it a go again.

I really enjoyed this movie, the acting was good. The special effects were just breathtaking and one of the RARE movies that i loved the soundtrack from! So got that one too by now! For science fiction lovers this is IMHO a MUST HAVE. No movie here deserves a 10 in stars, that would be perfection and nothing is in our world. But a healthy 8 is well deserved, exciting, entertaining and just well done! Finally entertainment! Really good!

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
This could have been better...Not a total fail tho., 27 December 2010
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

My English as always is questionable. But understandable, and as always i will not bore you with entire plot of the movie spooned out till the bodem.

OK that being said lets take a nice look at this movies, like i always say in every review i wrote here. Movies are like music, some love to rock and roll other like to hear Beethoven. So to get this two camped "this movie sucks" "this movie rocks" stuff out of the way i tend to be objective.

Characters Well, when the movie started is saw Pierce and David on the cover. So i had already a "rubbing my hands this is going to be good" mood. The beginning was really spectacular. A good explosion, and i saw Pierce fall in the field. From there one my mood was "Mmmm this is not a good start the cover with the cast is pretty misleading" The new Sergeant comes in, and sorry to say he looks like a rookie. No offense but to me it seemed like a mishap in casting. But as the movie prolonged he did actually a pretty good job! It is pretty obvious he needs his adrenaline fix and thats pretty cool and all. But it does not fit in war at all. Unresponseable behavior and putting his men at risk is just pretty stupid (story wise) as i was expecting a realistic image of how a team like that would goto work in real life.

The science fiction was disturbing.

Then before you know it your caught in a movie that has allot of science fiction. You see him pull detonation chord and a nice circle of ARMED bombs around him emerge. He simply cuts the detonators and presto everybody can feel relieved again. This movie lacks believability it is not so surprising that this is Mr Camerons ex wife, it totally shows in this movie. I was waiting for the terminators to pop into screen at anytime (joke) Then he goes AWOL, and gets back without any penalty and such. He simply walks back into base without any consequences. Now i am not a soldier and maybe OK given your in war not smart/needed to fire a good Sergeant. But it did not make sense, i was hoping for a scene were he got like a short jail time as penalty that would have added a consequence to his mental state of mind.

But no such thing, there huge holes in movie. Then the bombs there ALL the same, and there all RIGGED to be disarmed by a infant. OK folks its movie but heeij do we not like to be sitting on the tip of our chairs with the excitement of "CAN HE DO IT! WHAT WIRE TO CUT !! COMMON MAKE A CHOICE!" that adds to the experience. Here it is more like "Ok he walks to the bomb, and cuts the detonators away done" Conclusion I give it a 6, this is because the shots are pretty nicely done. It has that typical war zone look to it, the place were it is shot is convincing enough. And the explosion (not so many) are pretty well done.

But if you are looking for a realistic movie, for sure let this one slide. The cover is misleading David and Pierce have like 10min in the entire movie. That was pretty disappointing, i do not care if this was a movie made by a female or male...

My love is for movies that entertain me regardless gender. This one is with a 6 a OK movie if you are bored and just in for a slow paced action movie.

This could have been better...that is all.

Repo Men (2010)
Predictable......but still popcorn fun to watch on a dark night., 15 December 2010
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As always excuse my poor English gram. I will like always not bore you with the entire plot synopses and incredible dull 1000 lined review about how stupid/smart this movie or any movie suppose to be.

I think like always that movies are like music, some like Beethoven and there the ones that love Nickleback. so i try to be objective and subjective as how i experienced it.

The movie starts out pretty good i must say, but as it prolongs some of the parts did not make any sense. Also its pretty predictable when in the car Forest mentions the m5 dream system i already predicted "Mmmm this will comeback to bite either of them in the buttocks" and i was right.

So to be frank to watch this movie for its amazing storyline/plot. There is none, it also to was pretty blunt how the repo men are able to kill so easy. Imagine this is really the future then you deal with a co-operation that sends a murderer to collect the organs.

Anyways back to the movie, it is not a bad movie but its neither a very good one. Some of the most illogical things happen. For instance when Jude starts a knife fight with a group of ppl in the corridor (near the end of the movie) you even see one of them has a cleaver in his hands (seriously do you wear one on that type of job security!?) Not to mention, there tons of guns on the floor and he chooses to fight them with a pair of knifes. Then he gets overthrown by the many men that kick his *BEEP*. Then he gets up and the all start with the knifes again. OK thats just plain out idiotic is'nt the want to kill him, the get him on the floor then KICK HIS *BEEP* let him get up so the can all go back to the stabbing frenzy.

The end was unlikeable, mainly when the "read" there organs out by simply cutting themselves open and put a scanner in there body by hand to read them out. Well i once went KO from locking my back up, let alone that a human being gets cut open and still is perfectly sane (pain would knock you out) or at least exhaust you tremendously.

Well its all good tho its movie, this movie i give a 6. I liked the action and bloody parts. But do not expect a wow amazing flick factor with this one. I love it how Forest is the loose cannon in this movie as i find him a very likable actor! Thats all enjoy this movie, or hate it. With some popcorn and brain put on a low setting pretty enjoyable.

Salt (2010)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A movie with questions in the end., 14 December 2010
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

OK here goes like always my reviews, start with no plot synopses and my English gram is not that of a high standards.

Anyways, so far ppl seem to like my reviews as it put things into understandable words. Salt, when i read the title and saw Angelina Jolie i was already thinking to myself "owwk this could be a so so movie" The movie starts of pretty OK! She gets beaten to a pulp! OK that was a joke you may laugh. No but it seemed OK pretty cool, it was a "shocking" opening i like that. Made me feel like "owk this could be one of those really coldharded espionage flicks i like so much.

As the movie prolonged, miss salt is supposedly a double agent, and she is the one to eliminate the president. Then as very predictable her Superior officer/friend of the CIA is a double agent to and figures out salt is double crossing it all. So the windup in a standoff..

Well i was hardly impressed, i predicted in mmm 40 min of the movie if not sooner that her boss is a Russian double agent as well. In case she fails to obvious. Then at the end i have loads of questions.

1 OK KA is a special program were kids got trained for YEARS, to plan this attack? Whatever happened to free-will ? Hard to believe that the put kids into a country the will attack in 15 years AND STILL OBEY. That does not make sense.

2 Salt past, is virtually not shown AT ALL, her character is to shallow and lacking depth throughout the entire movie who is she? What happened? How did she get into the states to do that what she was meant for.

3 The agent helps her escape in the end, making him indirectly a killer by letting go a assassin that will kill the bad guys. why!? OK we all know folks, its just movie and yes its just a movie meant to entertain. I was entertained but not overly joyed by these plot holes. The movie was finished and i was like wait min ! What about this and that :/ The movie is fun as a cheap action movie without to much given thought. Do not expect high plot developing or insanely well made espionage movie-making. Just pure action and thats it.

I give it a skinny 5, nice concept by to unlikely to be realistic even if we wanted it to be.

26 out of 45 people found the following review useful:
The first 15 min were the best...., 18 November 2010
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Hello again, another review from Thailand, sorry for the gram and spelling mistakes :) I always try to be very open minded about movies. And not to be to black and white about how a movie is. As always you can find things you dislike about a movie. Then you weight that out to the good things and then come to a nice average point to give to the movie.

Humor is a very hard emotion to please everybody with. Some ppl love the hard cussing in movies (Samuel L Jackson trademark) And some love the high intellect humor of say a John Cleese or a Rowan Atkison that are able to give you a smile from ear to ear without even speech.

The thing is when i started up the movie, you see Dwayne Johnson,who i really love as a actor! Really a great asset to the cinema. And Samuel L Jackson (the man is a old granddad and still going strong) i was like THIS WIL BE GREAT! Samuel the great Go beep yourself personality, and The rock as a duo perfect fit. Now i was not expecting a Danny glover and Mel Gibson chemistry (Lethal weapon 1 to infinity) But it felt good.

Sadly but true, the die pretty early and there replaced by a Will Ferrell, and a Mark wahlberg my mood degraded with the minute it is really bad.

Mark was not able to play the "angry" cop, he came over to me as a annoying person with no real convincing skills to make me laugh. Samuel l Jackson that made in his 15min (CAMEO i call it) with the rock 2 sentences that made me laugh like hell.

1st beginning when he lands his car in the city bus "Uhh did someone call 91 holy sh*t!"

2nd When he tells Will Ferrell to shut up "Ai aij! you shut your mouth, if i want to hear you talk, i put my hand up your *ss and work you like a puppet"

I can assure you, the rest of the movie is utterly boring. There is no chemistry between Ferrell and Mark at all. The don't fit as a team up the have a lousy sense of humor. Will is as usual LOUD very loud..

I wanted to turn it off after the TUNA story (trust you even for fans its a idiotic scene that made no sense and its supposed to be funny). I still cannot believe that the killed of the Rock and Jackson like that. Or even that the rented themselves out for such a bad movie.

1 point its really awe full..

"Oz" (1997)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Drama at it best, to bad it went downhill with every season :C, 12 March 2010
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Hi To read the entire plot around "OZ" just look at IMDb here to find it.

**WARNING SPOILERS INSIDE THIS REVIEW !** Oz is the a series that has not only moved me but also shows a small bit. Of the American prison system, but i have to say (judging on discovery channels program over jail) it is not really realistic.

Although i got to say, there not shy, rapes,shanking (stabbing) happens allot. Still it is television, so for you ppl out there that think this is realistic wrong.

There is a good degree of violence in it, and some here and there overdone scenes (plot over plot over plot) that can get pretty boring. But remember the series is almost ancient by now. So times do change as well i believe i should judge this in the time line as it came out.

As the season prolonged up to season 5 it was pretty good!. Until one of the cons wins a lottery ticket of 2 million dollars, because he talked to god it struck me as "ok this is getting to the point i do not want to see this series no more" Still i proceeded! And now i just seen the episode 3 of season 6. This is were cereal gets his brain zapped and then his "mom" hold him after, while he is drooling. Then you see O Reilly cry as well seeing his bro like that (RL BROTHERS As well) Now thats by far the best scene out of the entire "OZ" series, that was real to me! Still do not read this wrong that I'm trying to crash and burn it. It is a really good series! And even now 2010 well worth a watch ! I give it a 7 because of the storyline that weakens with the season. But still a golden glove.

"Dexter" (2006)
2 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Serial killer at his best......but why the bad supporting roles!!!, 6 January 2010
7/10

*Story/plot* As with every review i write, i do not like to spoil anything so i suggest read the plot here on IMDb. Long story short, a forensics blood analyst leads a double life. He is a serial killer as well.

*The series* I have the privilege to have seen all the 4 seasons thus far. It is a very impressive role Maikel is playing here. The way he acts, looks, narrates true-out the entire series. Keeps you involved the entire time and your begging for more with each episode that ends. Noticeable is the musical score for this particular series! Normally i do not care so much for soundtracks of series or movies but here excellent recognizable, eery ring to it all. It fits the entire series.

*Supporting roles* Now here the series looses point on! E.g: Erik king? Or Miss Carpenter (sister of Dexter, there in real life married couple BTW) There both the worst actors i have ever seen in the history of movie/series. Erik dozer is a Sergeant in the series and he is not convincing AT ALL with doing his part. I know many ppl love his acting, it is save to say those ppl do not have much movie/series background who find it that way.

Miss Carpenter is overacting allot, as she needs to be upset she already breaks down and cry. Instead of looking upset she looks sad ectra. Big flaws in the series if you ask me the main character Dexter steals the entire show. Who thinks different off course no problem with that, remind you I'm not talking about Erik king script here, but really how he express himself (typical B-actor) The script has nothing to do with that.

*Overall* DEXTER, is a wort to have series, the story is exciting and new. The main character is very convincing (oscar wort role he plays) It looses point for the BAD casting of the supporting roles in this series. This is simply a casting mistake that choose on a Sunday morning 2 cheap actors to make the series or something (sorry this is really how i feel) I have read the bulletin boards about this, there lots if children here that react to it when someone claims that the supporting roles are thin. Well the *beeps* are countless remind you dear ppl that most of the IMDb reviewers are pll that have a extensive knowledge on movies.

That does not mean you cannot have a opinion, but what i miss there is the argumentul value (to back up what the say) and cussing does not make you look more of a intellect either.

Well this is it.


Page 1 of 2:[1] [2] [Next]