Reviews written by registered user

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49 reviews in total 
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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Pure fun, if you know how to have fun., 30 June 2004

A Knight's Tale is what you get when you cross underdog sports drama, comedy, medieval knights, and a healthy dose of Gen X attitude. William Thatcher is a nobody, son of a peasant, fascinated with knights. When the knight he's serving dies before the final round of a joust, William takes a chance and assumes his identity.

The show wastes no time whatsoever getting straight to the fun stuff. The above paragraph is the very first thing you'll see in the movie, and the very next is the movie's first joust set to Queen's We Will Rock You. The twist here isn't just a cheap soundtrack, but the fact that it's interwoven into the movie itself. The jousting audience is more of a football crowd, clapping along to the legendary beat and having fun. The herald trumpet players are even shown to belt a few notes, while the guards step along.

The best example I can think of this previously is Robin Hood: Men in Tights. A Knight's Tale takes it one step farther however by taking it all very seriously. By the end of the show you could almost believe it. Heralds that sound more like boxing announcers, armor with famous looking logos, ultra modern hair and outfits, and even an amazing dance sequence that blends classical with modern set to David Bowie. It's a highlight of the movie and worth watching just for that scene alone.

The best thing I can say about A Knight's Tale is how real it all is, despite it's theme. The modern aspects are blended into the events with real tact, the comedy is honestly funny, and the drama is in no way cheapened by the lightheartedness. It's not exactly Oscar material, but the show has a few honestly dramatic and heart touching moments that are go over extremely well to anyone but scoffing critics.

If you've ever had even a slight fascination with Knights and the joust, give this a watch. It's a great movie filled with all the fun and wit one could ask for. The Gen X attitude may seem like a gimmick, but if you're as tired as I am of lame actors speaking in extremely poor old English, this movie is for you.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Not too good, but good enough., 30 June 2004

House on Haunted Hill is unfortunately about as obvious as its title. While it certainly has a few good tricks, there's really not much of value as things quickly turn from witty thrills to a standard slasher flick. The show's detailed setup amounts to almost nothing fairly quickly, and seems like a waste of time.

The first of many mistakes with this film is ghosts changing the information in Price's painfully simple guest list early in the show. Corny barely describes it as we watch the cursor move across the screen in his word processor and the words retype themselves. Very old Internet hacking ghosts, that work in real time on the screen. No technical knowledge: check.

The next big problem is the films quick reliance on blood, torture, screams and CGI to pull it's horror. Rather than go for the witty scare at it does quite well during the initial theme park scene, things fall into the standard gore fest for much of the film. There's enough gore that after I had watched it, I wished I hadn't. I still get a slight queezy feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. Personally, I don't find torture and buckets of blood good film making or entertaining.

Despite the flaws, there's a halfway decent action/horror movie in here, and a few witty scenes. If you watch it with the right atmosphere it can be mildly scary and unnerving. More just for the sheer amount of gore than for any real scares though. It's far from a movie I'd buy, but it's probably worth watching once if your a fan of such films.

Edtv (1999)
0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Worst take possible of the Truman Show, 30 June 2004

From the very start, this film tries to convince the viewer that this is a horrible idea and should never be made. It's happens to be the only thing the show ever manages to get right. Edtv is nothing but shallow, boring, rude comedy. If watching an unshaven loser in sweatpants scratch himself, sit on the john, and clip his toenails is what you consider good film making, well then you're in luck.

From the family in tanktops gathered round with ol' uncle Ben arguing and eating KFC, to the useless girlfriend who hates herself and loves her boyfriend's brother, this movie is so painfully stereotypical it's just insulting. The 'romance' boils down to a drunk idiot crying about her obsession with obvious jerks while the hero pats her back and tells her how perfect she is, at least until she'll finally sleep with him.

There's not one joke, not one concept that I found to make this movie worth even a half hour of your time. The only way I could possibly recommend this movie is if you consider Jerry Springer to be the best television show ever made. And sadly, that's exactly what this movie relies on, the Jerry Springer effect. It even demonstrates in the movie as the show is so awful, the mindless masses zone out and follow along all day, forgetting about their lives. The Truman Show may be the best example of this concept, but Edtv is easily the worst. There's just no reason for this movie to have been made.

6 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
Over rated, and far too hyper., 30 June 2004

Twelve Monkeys tries to be an interesting movie, and it does have a few sound concepts, but overall this movie is just plain annoying. Every last part of this screams low budget, poor acting, and cheap plot. Vastly over rated by it's fans, it explains it's plot in such detail nearly anyone can understand it and feel good.

The first half of this movie is an absolute mess. Willis spends much of the first half drooling on himself, while Pitt rambles for hours on end with horrible acting. Throw in some random screaming insanity every few seconds, and you have the first hour of this movie. The worst part is the movie tries to capture a sense of desperateness, which amounts to nothing but people screaming at the top of their lungs at each other for long stretches of time. This movie is annoying, noisy, shallow, and way too hyper.

The second half of the movie does actually manage to work out a few interesting concepts, but it's far too little and far too late to save it. Note that I don't say the second half of the movie is good, because it isn't. Tacky wardrobe, cheap locations, bad camera angles and dramatic fuzzy scenes only make the movie that much worse.

This one isn't even worth watching on cable, save your time and spare yourself the hassle of listening to Pitt ramble and Willis try to be dramatic. If your idea of the future is plastic wrap jumpsuits, lame camera angles, and stock footage of animals in places and climates they'd never survive however, then go for it.

Hulk (2003)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Just like the Bad Old Days, 23 June 2003

Remember not so long ago, when almost every comic book turned movie was cringed at? The only people who would dare see them without plenty of reassurance would be the die hard comic fans, who would love the movie no matter what? Well sadly, The Hulk is a big step backward from recent releases and takes the genre back to those very days.

The acting and story are extremely over the top. What's worse is all seems like it's in the wrong dang movie. If a very few select scenes were removed, you'd be hard pressed to even call this sci-fi much less The Hulk. It's yet another pseudo-intellectual flick trying to be more than it is and failing miserably. I'm so sick of movies using cheesy editing and over the top acting and dialog to beg the audience to believe it's saying something intelligent. Intelligence doesn't require gimmicks.

Hulk is by far too nice and friendly to be the Hulk. In one scene, he's peacefully sitting in the desert looking at flowers. No rage, no anger, nothing. Yet, he's still Hulk. The only good CGI scene in this entire flick is a helicopter battle in the desert. Sadly, even that's pretty much ruined by constant cries of "I'm okay!!" over the radio so our Hulk stays a good boy.

This entire movie is cliché rips from anything and everything, but barely including the comic in that list. The stereotypical General, the genius criminal without access to a comb in his life, the vanilla hero, even the nosy won't shut the heck up girlfriend. If this obsessive daddy's girl could mind her own freaking business for a half a millisecond, maybe Hulk boy wouldn't be so stressed!

- Rirath_com

41 out of 46 people found the following review useful:
Dark fun, 22 June 2003

When VHD: Bloodlust came out, I wasn't too very interested. Having recently got the chance to watch the film though, I know now I should have been. VHD:B is top notch so far as dark anime goes. From the opening scene, watching the crosses twist and crumble as the dark carriage passes by, you know you're in for something good. VHD:B doesn't disappoint.

First off, D has been given a major upgrade. He looks more vampire like, he looks stronger and badder than ever before. The new art helps much, of course. D is hired to find a girl named Charlotte, dead or alive, who has been taken by a vampire from her home. Adding to the mix is a bounty team already has a head start on D, and each member of this team could well have his/her own anime. These are no second rate fill-ins, these folks are every bit as interesting as D. The vampire in question doesn't disappoint either, showing the full force of his powers from the very first scenes.

All in all, if you're looking for something darker and blood filled, watch this show. It looks dang good, the english voices are much better than you'd expect, and things just simply click. It's well worthy of the VHD name, and surpasses the original in nearly every way.

- Rirath_com

Clerks (1994)
Intelligent Fun, 22 June 2003

Clerks really took me by surprise. I've never been a Kevin Smith fan, so I figured this wouldn't be any different. Being a former electronics store "clerk", I figured the humor in this might appeal more. Clerks really stands apart, and is quite enjoyable. The dialog is actually intelligent and entertaining, not this pseudo-intellectual garbage going around in most movies. And I like how it never really goes too far.

None of the dialog is there just to be there, it's quite believable that these two guys would say all this. Maybe not in one day, but it's a film after all. Entertainment is more important than realism. For anyone who is still empty headed enough to think the clerks at your local store are just slack jawed idiots, this film should be a real eye opener. Kevin Smith himself was a clerk, and the movie was shot where he worked on a shoestring budget. He's also Silent Bob.

The only reason I don't rate this a 4 is simply because I doubt I'll watch this movie more than once. It was funny, it was witty, it was entertaining... but watching it again would be like repeating a conversation with someone. I'm also annoyed by it being black and white. Color sure would have been nice, the film really doesn't gain anything from being black and white. All in all, watch it at least once. Especially if you've ever been a Clerk.

- Rirath_com

21 out of 26 people found the following review useful:
Masterpiece of Anime and Animation, 22 June 2003

Lain is by far one of my favorite animes of all time. The story is deep, well thought out, and very entertaining throughout. The characters develop perfectly, the atmosphere is incredible, and the story is flawless. Some of the story is left slightly open ended, leaving the viewer to fill in his or her own conclusions.

Tech heads will relate to this story effortlessly. The Wired is easily a souped up version of our own Internet, and the history isn't outrageously far from our own and well explained. The parallels between our world and this fictional world really make things interesting. This series really hits a sweet spot for sci-fi technological dramas.

Every anime fan should see this series, but be prepared for a brain twister. I've watched it a good five times and I can honestly say I still find new tidbits of the story every time. You just can't sit back and put your brain on cruise control; You must make an effort to follow the story or it will leave you mercilessly lost and confused.

And remember folks, this is fiction. You have to be willing to suspend belief a few times and accept the universe of the work at hand. Those unwilling or unable to do this, need not apply. Think of it as a deep mystery novel. Even when following the concrete parts of the story with great attention, there's enough misdirection to leave you wondering what if... and that's half the fun.

If you simply can't accept that the story isn't handed to you neatly gift wrapped, and that you may have to fill in the details from your own imagination, then go watch a simpler anime. This isn't for you. If you like the confusing story of animes like Neon Genesis Evangelion, or Boogiepop Phantom then you'll love this. If you live and breath technology, you'll only love it that much more. All in all, this is a masterpiece of animation.

- Rirath_com

Final Fantasy VII (1997) (VG)
Perfect, 22 June 2003

Final Fantasy VII is easily one of my favorite games of all time. No game before it and no game since then has managed to pull me so deeply into the story and have me hanging on every word like this one did. The characters, the music, the graphics, the story... it's all golden.

The characters are simply unforgettable. Cloud, Aeris, and Yuffie were my favorites of the bunch. Each character has such wonderful design, half realistic half cartoonish, full detailed backgrounds, and such personality and potential to develop that I enjoyed following everyone one of them.

The music and graphics sticks in my mind like nothing else. They worked so well together. From simple cut scenes to the most glorious of FMV. And unlike today's games that throw long boring FMV in just for the sake of filling 2 DVDs, this game used FMV to make a point so poetically you couldn't help but feel like you just watched an epic film.

I wish I could sit here and just ramble on and on about the beautiful story and the twists, turns, and major events, but obviously that would ruin it for any who still haven't played this masterpiece of a game. I see many, many people today who have never played a game like this and are simply enthralled by today's crop of PS2 RPG wanna-be's and it really irks me. They simply don't know what they've missed and 9 times of 10 simply don't care.

It may not have the 200 hours of today's games, but unlike today's games it's not freaking simulated boredom. It's 30 hours of FUN and story like you've never seen before. This game changed my perspective of how videogames could be, and is guaranteed a lifetime place in my favorite collection.

- Rirath_com

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Solid horror / comedy., 22 June 2003

Lately I've been craving to find a truly good horror film, and with Evil Dead II, I've finally found it. If you're a comedy fan and even a casual fan of horror, you simply need to watch Evil Dead II. It's such a perfect mix of comedy and horror that you just can't go wrong. I haven't jumped so many times at a horror film in ages, and I've never laughed so hard at the same movie.

On the horror side of things, this movie is truly a horror film. I jumped and squirmed so many times I lost count. From start to finish it's filled with gore and disturbing creatures of all sorts. The effects may be cheesy by now, but it really doesn't matter. You'll take a sick pleasure in watching poor Ash scream in borderline insanity. Yet, it thankfully never crosses the line from dark fun all out sick. It's gruesome gore filled fun, but it stays on the right side of the fine line between fun and sick.

On the comedy side of things, Bruce Campbell has become a cult action comedy hero from this movie. You'll laugh so hard at his utter breakdowns of emotion you'll wonder what side your rooting as good and bad blur into smear of insanity. The laughing room scene cracked me up and freaked me out all at the same time, and Bruce never misses a beat of the hair trigger fun.

- Rirath_com

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